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Daily Archives: June 25, 2019

Breaking up a non-relationship : Ending before it starts

25 Tuesday Jun 2019

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

avoid miscommunication, breaking up a non-relationship, breaking up is hard to do, choosing kindness and honesty, online dating

“To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature. I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart.” ― Charles Dickens

It is funny breaking up with someone when there was never a “we”.  There was a potential “we”, a future “we”, but never a “we” now.  Still I realize the need to break things off.  He had a “we” in his heart and mind.  I couldn’t let that go on.

I wanted to wait and tell D. in person of my decision to stop seeing him until his life was sorted out.

Even though we really don’t have anything and have gone only as far as a kiss on the lips and a hug, I always felt that he thought this was a full blown committed relationship.

I hate the idea that I am leading somebody on, even though I have told him many times that I am still on the dating site and would continue to date other people.

With each passing day I was agonizing over it, so to preserve my sanity and to feel I have done right by him I wrote him a text this morning.  See below.

It was a spur of the moment decision.  I probably could have done a better job of writing the text.  Now rereading it I cringe, I definitely could have been clearer and kinder.  But I am glad I sent it.

Now it is done, and it seems he understood.  I was getting the feeling that he was feeling under pressure to sell the house and get things resolved because of me.  I like to think that now he can sit back, relax and do things in his own pace and follow his heart.

But above all, I don’t want miscommunications, misunderstandings and never ever cause anybody any pain that could have been avoided.

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