Tag Archives: volunteer

Update on my new friends

04 Friday Oct 2013

Posted by in Daily Life

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” 
― Anaïs Nin

Milton. https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/milton-my-new-friend/  I haven’t seen him in awhile.  His birthday was September 30 and I was going to bring him a cupcake but again he was not in his usual spot.  They have repair going on that corner and I looked around to see if he had moved to another corner but couldn’t find him.

I am hoping that is a good sign.  He had been waiting on NY City to get him housing, so perhaps that means that they relocated him to some kind of housing.

*****

C, a resident from the Nursing home called me.  https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/09/11/when-the-right-thing-is-also-the-hardest-thing/

He has a hard time speaking, it takes effort and concentration for the words to come out and when they do is very low and hard to understand.  Even in person I have to keep asking him to repeat, so in the telephone was worse.

I tried my best to understand and I think we were able to get some things understood.  He misses me and wants me to call or visit.  I mentioned that I had sent him a card and he said he didn’t get it.

I hope the Nursing home is not holding on to the cards that I sent.  I bought Halloween cards to some of the residents I used to visit.  For convenience and because I didn’t have everyone’s last name I put it all in a FedEx envelope and sent them to D., the girl that works there and did the visits with em.  I can’t imagine her holding on to it and not handing out.

C.  has an appointment on November 11 with a throat doctor.  He said the doctor will inject Vitamin C on his vocal chords and he will be able to speak better.  I hope that all goes well with that.  It is so hard to watch him speaking.

I am going to see if the nursing home lets me visit him when I return from my trip.

*****

This feels a bit rushed as I am leaving in 5 minutes on my way to the airport. I am going to Brazil to see my family.  I am blessed, and even more blessed for knowing I am blessed! 

Thank you God, Thank you Universe! 🙂

“Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” 
― Charles Dickens

When the right thing is also the hardest thing!

11 Wednesday Sep 2013

Posted by in Daily Life

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

“Sadness is but a wall between two gardens.”  ― Kahlil Gibran

Last night was my last timr at the Nursing Home.  I went to say good bye to some of the residents.  I didn’t want to just suddenly not show up anymore.  I didn’t  want them thinking that I deserted them.  I think they have too much of that in their lives already.

It was not easy to follow through on the decision to stop volunteering there, but it was the right decision for me.  The director and I didn’t see eye to eye.  I respect their need for security and all the rules, but it made me feel like I could only volunteer if there was someone to watch me.  That didn’t sit well with me.  I need a place more flexible, with less structure that I can come and go as I please.

I tried to hold back tears as I explained to residents that this was good bye.  I was very wisely reminded by one of the residents not to say good bye, but to say see you soon.  Some took the news better than others.   I guess some are used to being let down.  Unfortunately I did just that.

I cried when their sad eyes asked me why.  I cried even more when Claude, one of the residents, said:  “You have to come back, I need you!”  I was happy that he eventually understood how I felt (or pretended to) and went on to dictate a letter to be sent to his son.  He made a point of mentioning me in the letter.

Deep in my heart I know I am making a decision that works for me at this point in time.  I have always listened to my heart, and this is another instance where I am letting my heart be my guide even if it hurts.  I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that I still want to give back.  So my search for volunteer works continues…

…and the friends that I made at the nursing home will be forever in my heart.  I have their names and I will send them a letter every now and then. There is something in me that says that perhaps I was getting too attached to them, or perhaps I am trying to looking for reasons to support my decision.

This feels right, but it is not easy!  I know there will be a place for me, I just have to keep searching.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

No good deed goes unpunished!

30 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Volunteering

≈ 39 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

I am crying, sobbing like a baby…  well it is PMS time so I am bound to cry over something.  This time I am crying out of sadness and anger.  I don’t know if it were not for PMS if I would be this emotional, but right now I feel so misunderstood and unappreciated.

It turns out that my days volunteering at the nursing home are over! Yep, you heard me right, over!  That didn’t last longer.  It took longer to get everything in order to volunteer.

Here is what happened:

I normally go to the nursing home on Monday nights for 2 hours and I just visit the residents.  In the beginning they were not sure what I would be doing, so they had me tag along and visit,  and I  realized that is what I enjoy doing.  I feel I would be the most helpful bringing joy and warmth to some people that seem to be forgotten.

This week I couldn’t go on Monday because I went to the opening night at the US Open tennis, so I wrote an email that I was going Tuesday instead.  I went Tuesday and was very happy when one of the nurses told me how happy and appreciative they were that I was able to go and visit.  I had asked her to let me know if I was interfering with anything.  She said absolutely not, that in fact I am a big help and I should come as often as I can.

That evening J., one of the residents, mentioned needing to talk to me (she has been talking about finding me a boyfriend – lol) but she couldn’t do it at that moment because her roommate was already sleeping.  She made me promised to return the following evening (Wed).

Because of the comments of the nurse I was under the impression that I could show up at any time.  So I returned on Wednesday to see J, and of course, since I was already there, I went on to say hello to some of the others.

As I was leaving 2 hours later, around 8pm, the Head Nurse was at the front lobby desk and with an attitude she started questioning me and asking me if anyone knew I was there.  I said that I was there visiting and I didn’t think that they needed to know when I visited.  After all, visitors are allowed in any time until 10pm.  I mentioned to her that if the problem was that I signed the volunteer book I wouldn’t do that next time.

I was offended and could feel my face burning up and I walked out holding back the tears.  I am a very sensitive creature to begin with and PMS turns me into a cry baby.  My first instinct was to get home and immediately send an email to the Director of Volunteers and quit, but because I am becoming more aware of myself, actions and reactions I decided not to act on impulse.  I also know that the end of the month is her busiest time of the month and decided to respect that and talk to her later.

Well, it turns out that S. spoke to the director and here is the email I received from her:

” I really appreciate your enthusiasm in volunteering and coming in late in the evenings to visit.. However, you really should only volunteer when our staff members are present.  Also, please continue letting me know if you decide to come in  (like you have been doing) on days that you were not originally planning to, so I can let my staff and/or front desk know.. On Monday and Tuesday 2K and 2S, you can volunteer up until 8PM with D., and then for the rest of the week, B. and D. are only there till 7PM. So I guess for the front desk person, it looked a little strange when you showed up after the recreation people were no longer there (even if they were, their work hour would be over by then). It this situation changes,  I will let you know (as I really think we do need evening visitors!)—that is if you can just come in even when the staff members are not here.. But I will just need to clear it with the administration. Hope that’s Ok with you!  Again, thank you so much for everything. Our residents and recreation staff love you!!  My ladies think you are great with the residents!”

Here is my reply: (and I did reply on impulse…oh well…so much for getting to know myself and working on not being so reactive all the time)

“No it is not okay with me.  I didn’t appreciate how S. talked to me yesterday.  That was after being very happy when B. (she dispenses medicine) told me how great it was that I could come and visit on Tuesdays.  I guess I was under the wrong impression that I could show up any time and visit my friends.

I showed up yesterday because I had promised J.  I would. I guess I should have not signed the volunteer book.  My visit was going to be only 15 minutes but I lost track of timing as I decided to say hello to my others resident.

It is very unfortunate that you have to take time out of your busy schedule to deal with this.  So I will just make it easy on everybody and not volunteer anymore.  I thank you and apologize for wasting your time.  But that old saying is really true: “No good deed goes unpunished!”

I hope it will not be a problem for me to still show up as visitor to visit some of the new dear friends I have made.  I would hate for them to think that I just abandoned them!  Let me know if there is anyone I need to speak to in regards to that.  I guess I can just check on the website for the visiting hours.

Again I am sorry you had to waste time for something I did.”

So my plan is to go back to visit my new friends.  I am sure they cannot stop me from doing that.  The residents know me and have huge smiles when they see me.  When I say good bye they always ask me to come again.

I realize that at this moment I feel on my skin the way the residents feel.  They all tell me that they don’t like to be told what to do and when to do it.  Because I always visit in the evenings I witness them having to wait around to be put to bed.  I understand the staff does their best and try to accommodate everyone as quick as they can and with a smile, but still to the resident is a loss of their independence and control over their own lives.  I try to play it off and say how we are all slaves to some sort of clock and rules.  I mention having to wait for things all the time such as a train or an appointment, and having to respect a schedule at work (which I actually don’t but the point is making them feel they are not alone in feeling helpless and out of control at times).

I understand them.  I hate being told what to do, especially in this case when I know I am doing good and only have goodness in my heart.  Their smiles and laughter at the crazy stories I tell them about my life (I tell them about dates and my family and day to day happenings) not only tell me that I am bringing joy, but it warms my heart and brings me joy.

Lucky for me I am not a resident there,  I don’t have to play politics with this nursing home at this point.  I don’t have to obey their rules.  At this point in my life I can just walk away from things I don’t like.

I am not afraid of growing old or dying, I am afraid of becoming dependent on others.

****

As I was about to publish this I get a reply to my reply:

I am sorry this is how you feel. I would not want to lose you as a volunteer. Maybe we can talk on the phone. I spoke with S, and she really did not mean anything bad. She said she was sorry you felt the way you did. She was just doing her job.  We did have bad some experiences with unsupervised evening visitors. We also recently had instances of people just coming in and roaming around..  So we have undertaken extra-precautions.  Our primary concern is residents’ safety. And that is why it is a  the front desk’s person job to make sure they know who people are visiting , where they are going and why.  That is why the volunteer hours are specifically agreed upon by both volunteers and myself,  so that I can tell the night staff that people are coming.. For instance, your first day here, I told everyone that you were coming and to expect you. Of course, mature and responsible volunteers like yourself can probably visit in the evenings on their own, but I, as a director, am responsible for where they are going, and if I am not here, then, it’s other staff members who need to keep track—again, it’s really all done for residents’ safety.  Also, in my experience, you are the first volunteer who wanted to put in extra time—which is wonderful and much appreciated, but unfortunately, it is not common. I have just undertaken the volunteer department last November, so it will take some time for people to get used to  and understand how to treat different volunteers who only want to visit out of goodness of their hearts. But again, in the evenings, we do have to be extra-careful-that is why all we ask to let us know ahead of time.. I would love to talk to you more on the phone to explain, — maybe next week?

What next?  I don’t know! I don’t feel like replying.  I don’t feel like wasting any more time and breath on this.  I just know that all this seems stupid, a waste of people’s time and effort on a problem that shouldn’t be a problem to begin with.  Everyone is so worried about making sure they are “doing their jobs” and covering their ass.  What about reason and common sense?

… perhaps I am extra sensitive now, perhaps in a few days I will have a different view.

to be continued …

My first day at the Nursing Home!

07 Wednesday Aug 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” 
― Kahlil Gibran

As I pull out of the parking lot of the nursing home I feel tears welling up in my eyes.  I am trying to process the past 2 and a half hours.

I let the tears flow uninterrupted.  It is hard to describe the multitude of feelings that are all fighting for first place.  I am sad, happy, overwhelmed, calm, powerless, mighty, unsettled, determined, humbled, proud and the list goes on and on.  Last night was a defining moment for me.

It was my first night volunteering at the at the nursing home.  I have been searching for volunteering opportunities for a long time.  I volunteered in Breezy Point  in the aftermath of the Hurricane and I loved it, but I also overdid with the manual labor  and had to stop because of my hip injury.  I was so down about that. So I was happy to finally find a place that wanted me.

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” 
― Winston Churchill

Still in all my happiness to start volunteering, as the day was coming near I was growing more and more apprehensive.  I was making so many excuses in my mind on how this was a dumb idea and all the many different ways I could better spend my Monday night.  I had twinges of regret of having committed myself to this.  But making an excuse and not going was not an option.

I got there and was paired up with D.   D. works there as a therapist and the last 2 hours of her shift she spends visiting the residents.  I am so happy to report that this person embodies what a person that works in a nursing home should be like.  She is kind, calm, smiley and eager.  She exudes goodness.

She really didn’t know what job to give me as the person in charge of Volunteers is on vacation this week and had not left any instructions.  So I just tagged along  as she made her visits.  I love how respectful of their space she was, always asking for permission before entering their rooms, which is something,  that I have to be honest about it,  I would not have thought to do.

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 
― Mother Teresa

We went into probably 10 different rooms and met perhaps another 10 people in the halls.  Since I always focus on results, I am already doing the math and realizing that I need to come in more often to be able to see more people.   Sometimes I forget the middle, the during, the journey.   I forget the real reason some job is performed, not everything is about a final result.  The point is not to see as many people as possible, but to make sure that whoever I see and whatever amount of time I have with them is a special time for them.

Something miraculously happened within the first 30 minutes.  I gotta out of my own head and focused on each moment and made each person the center of my world for that moment.

“A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” 
― Steve Maraboli

At the end of the evening I realized I was born for this. Even though there is sadness in their disabilities and limitations, I like to think that I saw happiness too.  I saw fighters and warriors and I believe I a light that made them shine.  I made them smile and even if in an effort to make a joke I said the wrong thing I know they felt that my words were coming from a good place within in my being, from my heart.

My control freak side tried to make an appearance as this extreme fear of becoming old and dependent as everyone I met last night were. But why dwell on what I cannot control? It doesn’t matter rich or poor, beautiful or ugly, fat or thin, at some point our bodies and minds will start to go and no amount of fighting will be able to turn that around. 

“For it is in giving that we receive.” 
― St. Francis of Assisi

Please don’t think I am this great good-hearted  person.  Last night I gained much more than I gave.  I gained appreciation for my blessed life. I gained a different insight on the value of maintaining a healthy mind and body.   I gained love and acceptance from people that had never met me before.  Gosh, am I making volunteering all about me or am looking for lessons and opportunities in everything?   Is it all about what I can get out of it, or perhaps I am just exploring the extra benefits of extending a hand?  You be the judge.

I already have my mind made up that visiting the residents is what I want to do.  I had mentioned to the director that I was willing to take any job and help with office work, etc, but I think my time will be best used talking and sitting with the residents.  I am going to ask for a list of the residents that never have any visitors.  I want to bring them, in one word, Hope!  I want, not say, but demonstrate, that at least one person cares!

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” 
― Charles Dickens

A quick update on previous posts

31 Wednesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me, Mosaic and other crafts

≈ 36 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

Life happens and then all of a sudden I realize that I have not posted anything in one week.  I don’t want you guys to forget about me and find another blog to read, plus I miss all the terrific comments.  I have learned and grown so much from my post and the responses to it! 🙂

What has been happening is work has gotten really busy and after I goofed on a couple of things I am making sure that I am dedicating my time at work to work (what a crazy idea! lol).  I also have stepped up my hip exercises, and have been working more on my mosaics.  But all of that is no excuse not to make time to something I love: blogging!

So here are updates relating to previous posts:

“Magic trick: to make people disappear, ask them to fulfill their promises.“
Mason Cooley 

 
On The disappearing Act  https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/06/26/the-disappearing-act/

Since I could not let bygones be bygones I went straight to the point and asked Mr. Disappearing what happened.  He said that he is having medical and care issues with his mother, and he also added and I quote: “I felt you are still not over your last boyfriend. Dragging things and hopping maybe is going to turn better is not something i want to experience at this time..”

Fair enough!  Perhaps I should have not spend hours talking about Ex on that last date lol  oh well, I kinda knew the reason why he disappeared, but it is good to have a confirmation and not wonder anymore.

on the hip pain https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/05/02/my-hips-dont-lie-neither-does-my-back/

I continue to do physical therapy,  now once a week instead of twice.  It has gotten a lot better, but I am still not 100%.  What plagues my mind is the question: Will I ever be 100%?  I try to be positive and I know the reality that the answer to that question depends solely on me.  So I am doing my part!  I am following my exercises and stretches to a T.  I have also started using my elliptical machine again.  My aim is 30 minutes, but for now it is until my hip starts hurting which is after 15/20 minutes.  After the exercises and stretches, I am making sure I use a foam roller and I apply ice.

Slow and steady! Slow and steady!

Volunteering – https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2012/03/06/first-step-in-volunteering-and-going-back-to-dance/

Finally I am all set to start volunteering.  After, what I felt, it was a lot of red tape, I will start volunteering at a the Dementia/Alzheimer Unit in a nursing home starting this coming Monday.  I will do one evening a week and see how it goes.  On Friday I went for an orientation, then and now I am am experiencing a multitude of feelings, anxiety, excitement and nervousness about it.  I guess it is only normal to feel apprehensive about something new.  We shall see how it will go!

Milton https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com//?s=milton&search=Go

I continue to stop and chat with Milton.   This past weekend he said he took the subway to the Bronx and played cards with friends.  He won $27 dollars.  He said I brought him luck.  I am glad to see that he has friends he associates with.  Last week he wanted to get me a pink watch similar to the one he has.  I declined and said I have enough watches, which is true.  I am not sure what he meant by get.

****

The next 2 post will be update on Ex and Mosaics.  Ex’s absence in my life has played a huge role on where I am today.  I am getting more and more into my mosaics.  They still look like a child’s school project but I am so proud of them. Stay tuned…

I didn’t volunteer, I saw the rockettes, I missed my station, I ate Irish Soda bread, I am in love with my ski boots, I am thinking of craigslist as a viable option, andI am looking forward to bread again!

18 Tuesday Dec 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

I am so exhausted today that I fell asleep in the train on the way home from work.  I missed my stop and woke up in another state.  I woke up in Stamford, CT, okay it is only 30/40 minutes from my home in NY, but still, at the end of a long day at work all I wanted to do was get home and not have to 40 minutes past my home, then have to wait 20 minutes for the next train back.

Luckily my co-worker had given me a loaf of Irish soda bread (which I am nuts for lately), so enjoyed my train ride back eating bread – I had to do something not to fall asleep again! Plus lately if I go more than 3 hours without eating I go nuts.  The bread he gave me looks exactly like the one in this picture.

I am a bit down that I was not called upon to volunteer on Saturday.  I had pretty much my heart set on volunteering every Saturday for the rest of my life.  I love the cleaning and gutting of the houses, I love manual labor.  I am not sure why I was not asked to go.  I had sent an e-mail and didn’t receive a reply.  Since the person in charge knows my intentions I felt weird contacting her again.  I hate being pushy about anything.  I know that not being a good worker is not reason they haven’t called, as a matter of fact, I was singled out as working too hard in a smelly storage shed.  Perhaps they thought I was a show off! 🙂 oh well, I am sending another email tomorrow asking about next Saturday. If I don’t hear anything I am looking for agencies to contact, or perhaps I am going to go out knocking on doors and offering help.

Sunday I went to The Radio City Christmas Show.  The man I met on E-harmony ( from this post http://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2012/05/29/first-e-harmony-date/) came to his farm in upstate NY and stopped in NY City to take me out.  He knows we are just friends but I think that he is hoping that things will change.  I don’t see how.  I don’t see how can chemistry magically appear.  We do have a great time together, but I am not sure if continuing the friendship will only give him false hope.  And the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone.

The show was great, the Rockettes rocked!  I was seated in the same row as Jimmy Fallon.  Some people were going nuts because of him and asking for autographs, pictures, etc.  I am thinking: what is the big deal he is just a human being, it is not like he is Ben Afleck, in which case I would be going nuts!

My co-worker is on vacation so things are busier than usual for me. We are also having to deal with a lot of new regulations in our industry.  We under the wire, in danger of having our doors closed come 2013. Yep, a bit stressing!

But in all the stress, I am dreaming about a skiing vacation. To feel that I am close to going skiing I went ahead and bought myself skiing boots.  I am like a child, every now and then I open the box and look at them!

I was going to go somewhere close by in the Northeast, but I will have to rent a car, so it seems simpler to just jump on a plane.  Since I am going to Colorado in February, I am thinking either Utah or Canada in January, but there are so many choices. (suggestions on good (cheap) resorts for beginners are welcomed and appreciated 🙂 )

One of the problems with singlehood is when you see a great vacation deal and you are ready to buy and then you read the small print that says: double occupancy! I saw this great deal on this luxury hotel in Whistler, almost too good to be true,  I tried to book it and there it is, that double occupancy requirement to mess things up. 🙂

You know you are desperate when you consider putting an ad on craigslist for a travel companion. 😦

Got run, I want to get to bed earlier.  I don’t want a repeat of falling asleep on the train tomorrow… and the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner I can get up and have Irish soda bread with coffee.  I am so blessed and happy!!

Exhausted, but happy!

02 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by in Daily Life

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

, ,

Today I went to Breezy Point, Queens, NY with a group of volunteers. We cleaned out a basement and gutted and demolished 2 houses.

house, Breezy Point

It was eerie getting into Breezy Point.  All I saw was policemen, firemen, and other organizations.  The house and other properties seemed abandoned.

There were no kids playing, teenagers running around, people walking/jogging, nothing of the usual images that makes up what we think a small shore town should look like.

The houses we worked on were right on the water, the view and location was amazing, but it is hard to reconcile the beauty of the view with the destruction that I am witnessing.

I ask myself: Would I want to live this close to the water?  the answer is no!  I love and I am grateful for nature and the ocean, for the beauty of it and for all it affords us, but since the tsunami in 2004 my respect for nature is becoming a fear. 😦

Breezy Point

Unfortunately besides all the garbage and debris removed from the houses, at one of them we located the owner’s dead cat that we found behind the insulation.  I guess it tried desperately to escape the rising water and failed.

It has been a real long time since I have felt this physically exhausted.  Every muscle in my body hurts.  But it is good pain.

I enjoy manual labor, I enjoy cleaning.  I wish I could do it more often.

Besides the joy of the manual labor and the joy of helping families that desperately need help, I had the joy of bringing home this old wooden tennis racket (only a tennis lover could appreciate it!).   We had saved some of the contents of the houses that we were clearing out for the owners to confirm it was garbage.  The owner decided that she no longer wanted to keep her mother’s old tennis racket, so I happily brought it home!:)

I am looking forward to Pilates tomorrow because of the stretching that I get at the end of it.  I am also looking forward to volunteer again next Saturday!

Volunteer Efforts Update

23 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by in Volunteering

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, ,

Unfortunately right now nothing is happening.

the “Friends of the Library” hasn’t called, despite the fact that I was told that the lady in charge desperately needs help.

The Medical Center needs me to get tested, but it is a 2 day process, and I feel that I already have taken 2 days off. One for the interview with the Volunteer Coordinator and the other to go get a physical. I wish they would work with me a little better.

So right now I am take a breath and rethinking everything.  I still want to volunteer, and I am still looking for opportunities, but I am not in the great hurry I was before. I am impulsive and tend not to think things through, so I am  trying to be less impulsive here.

The Medical Center said they really need volunteer like me during the week days, which for me doesn’t work, so she would have me helping out with the seniors living at the resident center on Wednesday because they can always use extra hands there.  But it didn’t sound like they really needed anyone.  Yes it was kind of disappointing.

Do you know of any volunteer opportunities for someone that works full time and can spare several hours in the evening and weekends?

Interview at the Hospital

14 Wednesday Mar 2012

Posted by in Volunteering

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

I am not sure how I feel about my interview to be a volunteer at the hospital.  While it was a pleasure meeting with the coordinator, it left me unsettled.

I guess I made the mistake of having expectations.  I wanted to hear that they had a perfect position for me and that I could start right away.  Instead I was told there is not a lot available on evenings and weekends, specially since she thought I was a people person and it was a shame to give me something such as stocking pharmacy shelves.

She said that there are some activities on Wednesday nights at the Senior Residence and I could help there.  But before I even start that I have to get a physical done, then get some shots done and then I have a book to read and a test to take. I am trying not to get discouraged and seeing those little road blocks as tests of my motivation. So I will follow through with what I need to get that.  No harm in getting a physical done anyway. I hope that I will be able to help more than 1/2 hours on Wednesday night.

Now finding a doctor to get a physical is another story… there are some doctors that want you to become a member of their practices, which mean paying an annual fee!!! Now have you heard about that before?  I don’t like that idea, so I am staying away from that doctor.

Strange day for me.  I don’t seem to have my emotions under control.  It is ironic, control is the key word. I need to stop trying to control everything.  I know better!  The more I try to control something the more it controls me.