Tag Archives: self awareness

Back to my waiting life!

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in Daily Life, Fiction

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“Old places fire the internal weather of our pasts. The mild winds, aching calms, and hard storms of forgotten emotions return to us when we return to the spots where they happened.” ― Siri Hustvedt, The Sorrows of an American

I returned from Brazil 2 days ago.  In some instances it feels I have never left the US, in others it feels like I was away for years.  I am blessed to be a citizen of two countries, but at times I feel I belong in neither. I love taking time away and being with my family but I am happy to return as I cannot stay away from my routine for too long.   Is it the fear that things will fall apart in my absence? Or perhaps the opposite, the realization that all progresses very well in my absence?  I think it is a matter of being a control freak. I always come back renewed and hungry to improve in all areas of my life. I got use this momentum to get moving in the things I want to accomplish.

“Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet and everyone you meet will be genuinely interested in you” ― Rasheed Ogunlaru

A couple of highlights from last week: I met very interesting people at the airport.  (I will talk to anyone that makes eye contact 🙂 ) I met a young entrepreneur from Liechtenstein building a business that empowers women affected by human trafficking.  I will write more about him and his business as I learn more.  He introduced me to 2 women and a man from the Masai tribe in Tanzania.  They all had come to attend events celebrating The International Women’s Day at the United Nations in NY.  The 2 women spoke no English other than a couple of words.  The language barrier was replaced with smiles.  Later I was able to get M. (also from Tanzania and attending the event, but not from the tribe) to translate.  The two women from the tribe were shocked to find out I was not married and have no kids. One commented that I must have turned down many marriage offers.   G., one of the women said that she is sure God will send me a child as she made some gestures towards the sky.  I joked that I need a husband first.  It seems I am an anomaly in any culture or anywhere in the world.  Be it in the US or Tanzania, to be in my late 40s, never married and have no kids is shocking!

“Each person you meet is an aspect of yourself, clamoring for love.”  ― Eric Micha’el Leventhal

Meeting them was awesome for so many reasons! It renews my love of different cultures and this dream of travelling the word.  They were eager to invite me to visit them.  In that way they are like Brazilians; our doors are always open to new friends.  This chance encounter also reignited my volunteer flame. To me education for all girls, actually boys too, as well as men and women, especially in impoverished countries, is the key to a better future for all.  Knowledge brings empowerment. I have to find a way to do my part.

“To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected” ― Luke 12:48

Being with my family is always a blast! We don’t always agree on everything, but whatever disagreements we have are normally out of too much love.   We eat, we laugh, we eat some more.  Who knew just one week could do so much damage to my waistline?  It is great to see that mom and dad are doing well! Dad has completely won his cancer battle! My brother and sister are thriving professionally with great plans towards the future.  To me happy people make plans.  Any time someone has plans to look forward to it, it shows their hope for the future.  Hope is the best thing a person can have, I cannot ask for anything else for them. My dad was always a homebody, which only got worse after he amputated his right leg, so it is great to see him getting out a bit more.  Lately, whenever I am in Brazil he agrees to spend one afternoon at the pool house and also to go to brunch at a winery.

“Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.”  ― Carol Saline

One low moment,  realizing that my sister and I get along better from a distance.  On the phone we rarely have disagreements, in person we get so critical and so defensive that at times we were unable to have a conversation.  I guess it has to do with expecting the best from each other, knowing what our potentials are and expecting more.   I am sure being identical twins contribute to that.  Anything I said seemed to spark defensiveness. Perhaps I should not call this a low moment but a huge opportunity.  An opportunity for more communication, more acceptance, more love and more self-awareness and self-reflection.  I need to look in the mirror, as I am sure that which I find fault in her is what I am guilt of. The best thing is feeling loved and well received and that is clear to see from all of them!  I am blessed with a great family!

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” – Steve Maraboli 

What seeds am I planting?

20 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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Whistler, BC, Canada

Whistler, BC, Canada – where I would love to be at this moment!

I was thinking of 2014 and I realized how important what I am doing at this very moment contributes to my future – no earth shattering news there but sometimes I catch myself going through the motions and not really living or paying attention to what I am doing.

I decided, to quote my favorite movie “Shaswhank Redemption”, get “busy living” instead of get “busy dying”.  I decided to take a look at my present behavior to see if I am conducting myself in a way that benefits my future.  What seeds am I planting?

Here are the questions I am asking myself, and in a way here is my self improvement list:

1)    Am I getting enough sleep and drinking enough water?

2)    Am I learning to accept, love and take care of my body the way it deserves?

3)    Am I watching what I eat and drink?  Am I getting enough protein and less sugar?

4)    Am I making sure I am not overindulging in anything, and letting any one thing control me? Chocolate, TV, even a good thing such as exercise can become an addiction if I let it control me.

5)    Am I reading more and watching less?  Books are food for my mind and soul, TV can sometimes desensitize us and make us life observers and not participants.  (of course there are bad books and good TV shows too!)

6)    Am I making sure I am not wasting my time online with useless distractions?  Online life can be addictive and unreal.

7)    Am I simplifying my life?  Getting rid of the excess, old and unused? Donate, trade, re-purpose!

8)    Am I recycling and not wasting resources?

9)    Am I keeping clean surroundings?  A clean desk, house, mind means more efficiency.

10)  Am I respecting my parents and my elders? Am respecting their opinions, their limitations?

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. ~Anaïs Nin

11)  Am I being kind to strangers?  Am I being kind to all, especially when it is most difficult to do?

12)  Am I surrounding myself with quality people, good energy people? Am staying away from negativity?

13)  Am I getting myself out in the world and networking and cultivating good relationships?

14)  Am I updating my resume and qualifications? Am I being ready and prepared should I come to need it?

15)  Am I giving back to the community, to the world? Am I volunteering my time and energy to worthwhile causes?  Am I donating money?

16)  Am I obeying the laws, written and unwritten?

He who knows others is learned;
He who knows himself is wise.
~Lao-tzu

17)  Am I being moral and ethical? Am I making sure that I am not taking shortcuts?

18)  Am I replacing old bad habits with new good ones? For example, taking a walk after dinner instead of sitting in front of the TV.

19)  Am I facing my fears and getting out of my comfort zone? This is the where and when my soul shines and my self esteem rises!

20)  Am I smiling often? Am I smiling when things are good and smiling even more when things are bad?

21)  Am I making sure I am not settling for less than what I deserve for fear (of something, the unknown, of being alone, etc)?

“It takes courage…to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” 
― Marianne Williamson

22)  Am I talking less and listening more? Am I using my words for the good?

23)  Am I using my skills and talents to the best of my abilities?

24)  Am I always learning something new?  (to me this is the key to staying young)

25)  Am I praying and having positive thoughts throughout my day? Am I trusting the God/Universe/Light within me?

26)  Am I being in the moment?  Am I being conscious of my actions and not going through life as a robot?

27)  Am I forgiving and forgetting? Am I forgiving others for wronging me?

28)  Am forgiving myself for past mistakes? Am I taking corrective measures to right and wrong but not dwelling in it?

29)  Am I learning to ask for help and accept help when I need it?  Am I offering help?

30)  Am I creating goals and working towards achieving them?

All men should strive to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
~James Thurber

31)  Am I keeping stress at bay, by learning to relax, breathing and hitting pause when necessary?

32)  Am I being non-reactive? Am I making sure that I am not being impulsive with my actions?

33)  Am I being financially responsible and living within my means?  Am I cutting out unnecessary expenses? Am I having respect for my money and the hard work I put in to get it?

34)  Am I accepting people as they are, and not imposing my will on them? Am I being non-judgmental?

35)  Am I welcoming pain, problems, obstacles, challenges, etc, as a growth opportunity?  Am I looking at the situation and learning from it?

36) Am I loving when hating would be easier?

37) Am I being grateful for all I have been blessed with?  I am honoring my blessings and not taking anything for granted?

This is an on-going list as I am a work-in-progress!

“It is necessary … for a man to go away by himself … to sit on a rock … and ask, ‘Who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?” 
― Carl Sandburg

My favorite flowers: daisies

My favorite flowers: daisies!