Tags
friendly or romantic, giving a second date a try, not dismiss before before giving it a chance, online dating, open minded, relationships
The Litigation Attorney
We met on Match.com and after some back and forth messages I gave him my phone number. I have no rhyme or reason for giving or not giving my phone number to someone. It is all about a feeling and how a person asks.
After some short texts we met in person at a wine bar called Pino. It was a tiny cute place and the manager was very nice.
We both like to talk a lot, so we had a very lively fun conversation. I just had one glass of rose wine and he had a couple of tequila drinks. There was no food involved. I had eaten before hand because he asked me for “drinks” so I assumed correctly that there was no food involved.
He is single, never married, no kids. Just like me. He is selling his apartment in the city located just a couple of blocks from my office, and buying a house on the New Jersey shore. I don’t envision retiring and spending my days on a boat so I already see issues if this relationship is to go forward.
It was more friendly than romantic, but I need another date to confirm it. We have been exchanging a few texts and a couple of quick phone calls. We are scheduled to go out tonight and I am still trying to decide if I should go through with it.
The Data Architect
We met on POF. He is Scottish living in the US for a long time. He is divorced with one 11 year daughter.
He works from his Hoboken, NJ home for a company several hours away. He knows I like mosaic and whimsical art so he has been sending me pictures of every mosaic and art work he has encountered along his way. And there has been a lot. I thought that was cute and thoughtful.
We agreed to meet at the subway on 33rd and Park and from there we rode to Astor Place. Once there we saw some street art and started walking around. I love that area! At one point we stopped by a bakery and we each had a miniature cupcake. It was okay but nothing I would care to eat again.
After a few more blocks of walking around and him explaining the details of this once very Ukrainian neighborhood I saw a restaurant called Yuca Bar and immediately became interested. I love fried yucca.
It was a Latin restaurant with lots of Brazilian flavors. I had the passion fruit caipirinha and it was on point. I was disappointed with the yucca fries as it was not just the root boiled and fried but a mixture of mashed yucca breaded and fried. It was okay but not the real thing. He had guacamole and chips and I had the skirt steak and rice. He is vegetarian.
After dinner, we went to a dive bar called Blue & Gold and talked about soccer while I sipped a club soda and he had draft beer. This bar had the cheapest drinks I have ever seen in Manhattan.
We then took the Subway back to Grand Central. He walked me to my train and we hugged good bye.
We have been exchanging texts since then. I don’t think there is any romance but I may go on a second date to confirm that. He asked me on a second date this Saturday but I am busy so we will choose another day.
The Commercial Real Estate Agent
We met on POF over a month ago. In that time he went on a hiking vacation in Argentina and still managed to contact me every day. He doesn’t have my number so we just exchange messages on POF. He said he gave me his number. Maybe he did. Maybe I will use it.
We finally met Tuesday at Stout, a pub on 41st street. I had eaten before meeting him so it was mostly drinks. I had Prosecco, he had draft beer and we shared fingers. All was delicious.
He is divorced with 2 teenage daughters. He just bought a house very far and now commutes over 2 and a half hours each way every day. That has me already thinking that geographically we are not an ideal match.
He is a very nice gentleman though and even though, again, I didn’t feel any real chemistry I am willing to go on a second date and see what happens.
***
All 3 are very interesting guys and I am glad I met them. I am willing to go on a second date with all of them. I do also see some issues with all of them. Are these real issues or am I just working extra hard to find something wrong with them? who knows… I am trying to keep an open mind and go on second dates before dismissing a nice person.
“One of the reasons the team on NCIS works so well-is that they live by their leader’s rules-which are not a secret .
What are your rules/standards? Do the people in your life know what they are? Do you hold grudges/resentments when they don’t measure up? Do you pretend that everything is fine-when it’s not-and close up a little every day?
And most importantly-
When was the last time YOU reviewed/upgraded your standards/expectations rules-and took a look at the impact around you/checked in?
(Hint-most people live from rules/standards/expectations created from reactions/perceptions formed around the age of six)
Might be time for a review/upgrade……..”
-Dave Rudbarg
