Tag Archives: keeping positive

An update on my dating life, or lack thereof

20 Friday May 2016

Posted by in Daily Life

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“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.” – Rita Rudner

  1. The Doctor continues to text every now and then and it seems that we have settled on friendship.  I am happy with that.  He is not boyfriend material as he doesn’t seem to know what he wants, but he can be a great friend. File under “No romance, but great conversations”
  2. The perfect guy that was emailing me has not reached out since I didn’t reply to his last email.  Were he real he would wonder what happened and probably write inquiring.  File this under “I dodged a bullet!”
  3. The much younger guy totally disappeared.  I am considering filing a Missing Person’s Report. :-). File under “It was going to be a mistake anyway”
  4. I met someone (still from the Craigslist ad).  We had a great time at dinner.  He asked me on a second date that same evening and I said yes and said I would let him know when.  I am having second thoughts now.  He is recently divorced with 5 kids, and I have to say that 5 kids scare me. Also not a whole lot of chemistry, so I am not sure if I will go through with the second date.  File under “Perhaps… the jury is still out”
  5. There was another guy emailing me, and even though he seemed nice he kept pushing me to meet him.  I explained that my mom is in town and I am having some other stuff to take care of and asked for his patience.  Still he continue to push me. I hate to be pressured on doing something, and I told him so.  I think that it is the end of that. File under: “Patience is a virtue”
  6. My great blogger friend Vanessa from the Vanessence blog thought she had the perfect guy to introduce to me.  Unfortunately when she reached out to him she found out he just got a girlfriend.  I am not disappointed at all as it was a real long shot, but I am extremely happy that someone would think I am a great person to introduce to friends. File under: “It is good to be thought of”
  7.  And now for the last update.  On my post of May 11 I talked about a man from my past that I dated in 2007.  He has never given up and always texted me every now and then, even thought I always ignored him.  Right after Mother’s Day I gave in and replied to one of his texts. We started exchanging flirty texts, or so I thought; only for him to tell me that he has had a girlfriend since 2008.

At which point I said I was not interested, but he is still trying.  Here are the texts he sent the following day (May 12):

Screenshot 1

I didn’t reply, I thought he would get the hint, but then again he doesn’t understand hints, so below are the texts from yesterday, to which I replied:

Screenshot 2

Screenshot 3

Screenshot 4

I cut off the rest of the message as there were personal information and names of people pertaining to the details of this event. I didn’t reply and will not again.

I have to come clean and confess that a tiny part of me would love to attend this Dinner Dance event.  I also would love to see him again after almost ten years.  I am curious.  But not looking for drama.  So this is an invitation that was easy to pass up.

If the past is any indication I will continue to hear from him every now and then.   It is up to me not to reply again.  Even though he has no business contacting anyone if he has a girldfriend I have no ill feelings towards him and I still think he has a good heart.  I feel he is just misguided.  He should invest the time he is wasting texting me into fixing his relationship.

Clearly they are growing apart.  I once too thought it was okay for my boyfriend and I to go to events alone and take vacations apart.  I am talking about the first boyfriend (one day I will write about that relationship – we were together for 20 years!!).  I remember he never wanted to attend my work events.  Even though I had always lied to myself and said it was fine, that he was just not comfortable in that enviroment, it was never fine.  It signaled  problems in the relationship.  We disguised the unwilligness to support each other as freedom and individuality.

Relationships are hard work.  It takes compromise and the willingness to venture into the uncomfortable to support each other.  I want my significant other to be there next to me.  I no longer need to stand alone somewhere to prove that I am my own person.

I would hate for somebody else to spend 20 years with someone that is not their match.  Still, not regrets!  Hidsight is 20/20.  Moving forward.  Looking back to just see how far I have come!

and file all this under: “Keeping the faith!  It is not if, it is just when”

“Sometimes the comfort of being in a relationship lulls you into mundane complacency; you become irrelevant in each other’s lives. We call this phenomenon ‘growing apart’.” – Steve Maraboli

 

A little about me, but it is not all about me!

22 Saturday Aug 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 21 Comments

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DATING

I am happy to report that I haven’t heard from any of those 2 crazy dates I had.  I have exchanged texts with that doctor I had 3 greats dates with, but it went nowhere.  I really don’t understand what happened as everything was always great and, even in text, we always have so much to talk about.  I thought the worst that could happen was that we could have been amazing friends.  Oh well, I am not going to lose any sleep over that and I will trust the Universe’s decision.

I have had dates with 2 seemingly normal guys.   One was with an IT guy that travels a lot for business.  He texts me every now and then.  It seems he is waiting for me to ask him out (he will have to wait a real long time).  The other was with this guy that has a Heating/Cooling business.  He talked about hanging out on Sunday (tomorrow).  I said I would call him about it, but since there is no real chemistry I don’t feel like wasting his or my time on a second date. I will leave space for him and I to find the right people.

“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” ― Steve Maraboli

***

WORK

Right now I am going a bit nuts with setting up offices in TX, IL and FL.  We hired 3 employees that don’t want to move to NY, so even if it is just for one or 20 employees I still have to go through the trouble with filling paperwork for a myriad of things, such a new leases and new unemployment accounts.  Hopefully these new hiring will be successful.  Our tries at expanding before weren’t successful, we are still trying to recover from those losses. My boss is an Aries like me, so he is a go-getter, adventurous and not afraid of taking a chance.  We shall see what will happen.  For now I am being positive and doing my part to help it be successful.

“Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

***

DOCTORS

I decided to pay a little more attention to my health as I have been lax on that.  I haven’t gotten a physical in 2 years, but I am faithful to my OBGYB.  This year I got a bit scared as she detected a little cyst.  For a second I saw my life flashing before my eyes.   For now we decided not to do anything about it, just take a wait and see approach.  It was a good wake up call to think about health instead of vanity.

The eye doctor graduated my prescription (as I knew he would).  I scheduled a physical with a new doctor. She is a geriatric doctor and has great reviews so I am excited.  Next I am thinking of going to an Allergist to check on my shellfish allergy, do I really have it?  I hope to get that question answered.  I also want to get to a dermatologist, and I am also thinking about seeing a hypnotist.  Can he/she help me with my sugar/bread addiction?  I am saving my recurring hip issues for last as I know that I will have to dedicate a lot to that.

And as I am thinking more about getting healthier I am getting even crazier about sugar and carbs.  That is all I want to eat. 🙁

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” ― Hippocrates

***

THE WORLD AROUND

I just watched a documentary called “On The Way to School”.  While I believe that the filmmakers could have done so much more with the topic, I am in love with the message. It reminds me so much of my childhood, not that we were that poor or that far from schools. But of how hungry my sister and I were for knowledge and of how my parents (that have only gone to third grade) always believed that education was key. We didn’t have access to books but we would read anything we got our hands on, from the writing on food can labels to Walt Disney’s comics that we were lucky enough to borrow from a vendor in a flea market.

I think every school child, well actually everyone, should be required to watch it.  It would perhaps instill in them the appreciation and gratitude for the opportunity to attend school, among other opportunities.  Everyone can benefit from seeing how some people in other parts of the world live (I am aware that there are people living in poverty in the US also).  I feel kids (and adults too) nowadays take everything for granted. There is so much available, that things lose their value.  Even though there are many problems with education in the US, what I see is that the opportunity is there for those that are willing to put in the work.

“We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing, we must follow that logic”  this line is said by one of the children featured in the documentary.  How incredibly wise! It is an amazing powerful phrase that makes me think about our purpose here; and how much material stuff we really need to live on.  Are we focusing on the right things?  Or along the way we got lost and all of a sudden to have the latest fashion is the most important thing in the world?

There are many messages in this film but to me they are:

  • Stop craving more and learn to live with less (material stuff)
  • Be grateful for everything and act as such
  • Don’t take things for granted, pay attention to what you have
  • It is not always about me, there is more to live than me and my apartment
  • It is about “we” as a world that needs to take care of each other and specially our children
  • Be respectful of people’s culture, and see beauty in the differences
  • Happiness is a choice, is a smile.  Happiness is hope!

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” ― Epicurus