Tag Archives: commitment

Brazilian fans: Is it passion or bad manners?

10 Wednesday Aug 2016

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rio 2016

Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person. – Albert Einstein

These days I have been busy watching the Olympics.  I watch everything and anything I can. Any sport, any team, any country, I don’t care.  I love seeing the passion, the love, the attitude.  I love the patriotism. I love seeing the triumph of the underdog with resilience and heart.  Even when the body says no, the heart says yes and keeps going.

Of course another reason to watch is that it is happening in Brazil.  Part of my heart is there.  Anytime they show the fans, they show the people, I see me, I see my people.

Like everyone else I was not convinced we would be able to pull it off.  With the threat of the Zika virus, the political climate of Brazil, unfinished buildings, the crime rate, the polluted water, terrorist threats, it all look really iffy for awhile.  But here we are with the games in full swing.

“Set the standard! Stop expecting others to show you love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when you don’t even show that to yourself.”- Steve Maraboli

I was very happy with the Opening Ceremony.  Of course there were a lot things that could have been done better, but when I compare it with the opening of the World cup this was a masterpiece.

All is not perfect though, there are reports of many athletes being robbed while walking around and that is embarrassing for us, even though having 0 crimes in Rio is totally unrealistic.

As far as Brazil’s performance in and out of the field that is up for debate.  A lot has been said about the noise of the fans.  They watch and root for every sport as if they are watching futebol (soccer).  I can see how that can annoy a lot people, other fans and specially some of the players.  There is a lot talk about teaching Brazilians the correct decorum for every sport.  Well, good luck with that.  We wear our hearts on our sleeves, we are passionate about our players, and even other players.  Even if we don’t have a horse in the race we will pick the underdog and root for him/her as if they are family.  I can see beauty in that.

But some go too far and should learn to use a little restraint at times.  We could show our passion and roos for our favorites without booing the opponent.  Seeing fans booing and cursing players is distasteful and disgraceful, but I can’t help to think that at that moment Brazilians are letting out their frustrations for all that is going wrong in Brazil.  Still we should aim it at the right targets.

No matter who the opponent is, he is there with similar goals, to represent himself and his country the best he can.  He/She is there with the same passion and motivation and deserving of the same respect.  At the end of the day may the best person win, the one with the most heart and resilience, the one that never gives up.

I love that our first Gold Medal was won by Rafaela Silva, a woman that came out of slums.  She is from the favela Cidade de Deus (City of God slums).  She benefited from a social project called Reaçao (Reaction) started by a Judo player name Flavio Canto.  He wanted to introduce poor kids to sports as a way to get them off the streets early on.  Her victory shows the benefits of such projects.  That was a victory for the real Brazil, the poor hard worker, the one that gives their blood, sweat and tears every single day of their lives and have little to show for it.

The successful person makes a habit of doing what the failing person doesn’t like to do. – Thomas Edison

I was going to now write about passion and commitment, about envying the passion these athletes feel and how they dedicate and commit to this one goal above all things. I was going to talk about my need to find my passion in life and my lack of commitment to things lately.

Then the phone rings and it is my gynecologist.  I know it is not good news as they never call after a Pap Smear unless it is bad news.  My test results were abnormal and she wants me to come back tomorrow for a Coloscopy.  It is a simple procedure to further explore the cervix and collect a sample for a biopsy.

Chances are it is nothing, but the idea of the possibility of cancer changes everything.  My emotions get the best of me.  I see life flashing before my eyes.  I think of so much living I still have to do.

Yes I am being a tad dramatic, this is probably nothing! But I will use it to fuel my love for living and my idea of, until I find my passion in life, to be passionate about everything.

So smile more, dance more, laugh more, reach out to friends and family, go out and do that scares and excites you, feel alive! Be grateful for every new morning and for every breath!

So to quote my favorite movie “Shawshank Redemption”:  “Get busy living or get busy dying”!

“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” – Masaru Emoto

 

 

Advertisement

Back in the swing of things

19 Monday Oct 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

I am back.  Unfortunately I didn’t return rejuvenated.  This trip wiped me out. On the day I returned I even lacked the energy to unpack.   My mom has returned with me and she will be spending 1 month here.  That is normally the routine: twice a year I go to Brazil and twice a year she returns with me and spends one month here. It is a good break for her and a good bonding time for us.  It will be one month of shopping, casino and over-eating and under-exercising.  I am going to do my best not to ignore my new resolve of becoming healthier.  We shall see…

The moment I returned to work the auditors got in touch with additional requests.   I was happy they waited for me and I actually welcome the work and the routine of it.  After a couple of days they went silent, so I am hoping this is the end.  I am just awaiting for their final write-up.

I am still in touch with the doctor from the many previous posts.  I guess that is what is called dating.  We were seeing each other a couple of times a week before I went to Brazil.  Now that I am back we have texted several times.  We shall see what will happen.  He does a wonderful job of not showing me all his cards.  It is hard for me not to know exactly where I stand.  I struggle with feeling not in control of the situation.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli

Before I went to Brazil I decided to remove the content and pictures from my online dating profile.  My decision was two-fold: I needed a break plus I don’t want to date more than one person if I am intimate with one person.  Even though we didn’t talk about commitment, to me being intimate means commitment.

Even if the doctor was not in the picture at this moment I would still take a break from online dating.  I think every now and then it is best to take a break from things and reevaluate needs, wants and expectations.

“Without commitment, you cannot have depth in anything, whether it’s a relationship, a business or a hobby.” – Neil Strauss

Online dating was becoming too much work.  I also had started looking at everyone the same and not looking at people as people but things that come and go and that can be tossed aside at any point.  Returning to it in a few weeks or months with fresher eyes and attitude will be best.

Now I feel free from the demands of replying to countless messages that often get nowhere.  I also feel free from the pressure I had put on myself of having to find someone.

Even though I no longer have pictures and content I was still getting messages from some people I was corresponding with, so I went online to leave a message of my decision to take a break.  While there I saw that the doctor added new pictures to his profile.  While I didn’t expect him to stay away from online dating, seeing new pictures gave me this weird feeling.

“Set the standard! Stop expecting others to show you love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when you don’t even show that to yourself.” – Steve Maraboli

Believe me when I say I am trying hard not to make any assumptions or read too much into people’s actions or lack of it, but it is hard not to think about what his new pictures means.  In a way it told me what he thinks of me and this relationship.  It means that his level of commitment is not the same as mine and he probably doesn’t see the potential I see in this relationship.  Or still, maybe, he is suffering from something that a lot people that do online dating suffer from:  They find someone but they always think that there could be someone else even better out there.  Fear of settling and missing out.

We have never had a conversation regarding dating each other exclusively.  In the beginning when I brought up dating other people he mentioned something about not going there.  I got the message.

Still I became intimate with him without having a commitment.  Becoming intimate seemed like a natural dating progression.  I also felt that we were on the same page regarding our feelings for each other.

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose – and commit myself to – what is best for me.” – Paulo Coelho

At this point I have a decision to make.  I enjoy his company and our amazing conversations.  I just need to decide what I am comfortable with.  Am I okay being intimate with someone that is probably getting intimate with other people?  Absolutely not!  That was never my intention.  That is not something I am comfortable with.

Being intimate was probably more my idea than his.  He seems completely happy to just go to dinner.  So I think he will be perfectly fine with dialing back that part of our relationship.

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”  – Peter F. Drucker

Oddly I am completely okay with whatever way this relationship goes.  It is fine if it progresses and it is also fine if just becomes friendship.   I saw potential in him as he is the first guy that has this same very positive outlook in life that I do.  We have the same ideas and beliefs when it comes to religion and other deeper matters.  We read the same books and like the same things.  But there are many differences also.    He is a vegetarian that thinks sugar is the devil.  I like meat and want sugar to be my friend.  He is very much into bettering himself.  I am too, but not at his level.  He is hardcore about it and bettering himself and others seems like a mission to him.  I love that,  but I cannot keep up.  Perhaps I am lazy and not that committed to my health.  I am looking to improve that but I know that I cannot be hardcore about anything otherwise it will just backfire.

The bottom-line is I am happy, happy, happy!  With him or without him.  With commitment or without commitment.  I am happy with the knowledge that I am blessed.  I have so much going for me.  I have options.   There may be the right guy out there for me, and there may not be.  That no longer matters.  I am enough!  More and more I know what I want and what I don’t want. Right now I just want to be in the moment and enjoy it to the fullest.

For a laugh: “When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.” – Warren Farrell