Category Archives: Dating

Memories, Old and New

15 Thursday Jul 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 25 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

“I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don’t have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.” ― Virginia Woolf

Last weekend my sister, a couple of friends, and I went to Vernon, NJ.  We stayed at a condo on the Black Creek Sanctuary. It is only one and a half hours from my home. 

On the way there I realized that we passed right by Greenwood Lake, NY.  That is where M. lived.  He is the guy that I dated in January and February last year.  It brought back some memories.  It was the carefree time before the pandemic. He turned out to be a zero, but still we had some nice moments.

The place we stayed at was so beautiful and peaceful.  There are tons to do in the area, but we didn’t do much.  The weather didn’t help.  We enjoyed the pool and BBQed mostly.  We also managed to drive around the area and visit local shops.

Black Creek Sanctuary. It was too muddy to walk around, but a gorgeous place!

Great place to stay at and enjoy nature.

All around the property, there were gardens, and places to fish, hike, etc.

We visited a couple of farmer markets and antique shops

Greenwood Lake, NY – holder of memories

We will go back again to the same place at the end of the month.  We are hoping to do more then.  I am also hoping to go there in the winter, as this place is part of a skiing resort, so I am curious to try this mountain.

On the way home we stopped by Greenwood Lake, NY.  I wanted to show my sister and my friends the area.  Memories of a short-lived potential romance came and stayed with me.

No regrets. Not wanting the past to come back, or change anything. Just enjoying having had experiences and living a full life.

Greenwood Lake: It felt like discovering a new place, or is it, rediscovering an old place?

“Our memory is a more perfect world than the universe: it gives back life to those who no longer exist.” ― Guy de Maupassant

 

Another lackluster date update

10 Saturday Jul 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 31 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

“But you cant shut everyone out. I mean you have to have someone to love. . .someone to hold on to. . . someone–” ― Hubert Selby Jr., Requiem for a Dream

I have been canceling a lot dates lately.  I get excited about a person and schedule a date.  Immediately after, I start thinking of all the reasons why it will not work out.  Then I cancel it.  Why spend the energy and waste the perfume?  And of course, I don’t want to waste anybody’s time either.

I am not being pessimistic. I am just being being practical. And perhaps a bit lazy and disillusioned.

Still, I managed to go on a few dates the last couple of weeks.

Date 1:  We went to La Herradura, right in my neighborhood.  It is a Mexican place, and the food is always great there.  My date had mole chicken and a beer.  I often have the same thing there: quesadillas and a passion fruit mojito.  We both enjoyed our choices.

He is a 65 year old retired insurance agent.  We talked a lot about his grown kids and grandkids.  We also talked about his move to Florida at the end of the year. He is very family oriented and very happy about being retired. 

I am all about family also, but there is nothing sexy and romantic about talking about grandchildren and retiring in Florida.  Perhaps because I don’t have kids and grandkids. Perhaps because retiring in Florida was never my dream. 

He seems to have his life already planned and I would have to come in and make myself fit in.  I hate to say it, but in that sense he felt too old for me.  

“If you still think you’re a young pup then you are, no matter what the calendar says” ― John Grogan, Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World’s Worst Dog

Date 2: We went to Red Plum in Mamaroneck, NY.  It was my first time there.    My date had sushi and a beer.  I don’t eat sushi. I had a fried rice and crispy eggplant.  I really enjoyed my drink that was made with passion fruit, cranberry juice, vodka and some other stuff.

He is a 52 year old professional musician with a day job.  He plays some theatre and concert jobs.  He was handsome and pleasant.  We had some things in common, but I don’t think there was enough in common. 

He doesn’t own a TV and spends his evening studying different subjects, specially languages.  I admire that discipline, but it is not me. I want to watch TV, learn languages, exercise, etc.  I want it all, and he is more focused on a couple of things.   I think we would annoy each other in the long run.

I should be meeting 2 guys this week.  If I don’t cancel…

“Can I do it? I’d rather not try and fail.”    “That’s stupid talk, Maya. Every try will not succeed. But if you’re going to live, live at all, your business is trying. And if you fail once, so what? Old folks say, Every shuteye ain’t sleep and every goodbye ain’t gone. You fail, you get up and try again.” ― Maya Angelou, The Heart of a Woman

 

My week in pictures

25 Friday Jun 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 34 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

“Rule #1: Life is supposed to be fun!” ― John McGrail, The Synthesis Effect: Your Direct Path to Personal Power and Transformation

Since returning from Brazil I have been playing catch up with work deadlines and other personal stuff.   But I also have been making sure to fit fun into the picture. Here is what I have been up to:

I have played cards with friends. I had not done that in ages.  It is a Brazilian game called Buraco.  I think it may be similar to Canasta.

I went on a date with an accountant.  He introduced me to his 35 year friend that happened to be at the bar.  We sat with him. The friend and I talked non-stop. After the friend left, my date and I had a nice time, but not nice enough for a second date.  I wish the friend was older 🙂 We went to Sedona Grill in Mamaroneck, NY.

Went to Trader Joe’s and treated my sister and I to beautiful flowers. Every woman deserves to get flowers every now and then.

“We are never more fully alive, more completely ourselves, or more deeply engrossed in anything, than when we are at play.” ― Charles Schaefer

Went to a birthday/graduation party at the Melting Pot in White Plains, NY. AWFUL!! While the food was okay, the service was terrible. It took ages to get drinks or food.  It was clear that they were understaffed and undertrained. I guess it is really true that restaurants are having a hard time trying to get employees to get back to work.

Went on another date with a 60 year old hedge fun consultant. We went to Modern Restaurant. He was a nice guy, but that was it.

“And the sun and the moon sometimes argue over who will tuck me in at night. If you think I am having more fun than anyone on this planet, you are absolutely correct.” ― Hafiz

Burgundy hair and fashion rings do not spell romance

05 Wednesday May 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 38 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

 

On Friday I met Flexible Guy.  Flexible as in easy-going, not as in bendy; which he probably is also.  

We were scheduled to meet at Dubrovnik Restaurant at 6pm. He called me and let me know that he was going to be 15 minutes late.  It was going to take him 2 hours driving. I was walking 5 minutes.  That is fair! 😉 I am worth it.

I got there at 6pm to make sure to secure our table.  I was seated at the covered patio upstairs. To sit outside, in the beautiful courtyard, was out of the question. It was too windy, and with a chance of rain.

He came in 10 minutes later. In the meantime I had got acquainted with the couple on the next table. They were an elderly couple. The man kept joking and the woman pretending she was upset with his jokes. So cute to see.

My date walked in and I got up and gave him a hug.  I am a hugger.  He looked like his pictures. His hair was a weird color, which I asked him about it.  It was by design and not an accident.  I don’t like orangey burgundy hair on anyone, but he did manage to pull it off.  

He was wearing some huge rings.  One was a skull, one was an eagle and one looked like claws.  I liked them.  I like people that have unique style, and don’t care what people think.  

“There never as been, nor will there ever be, another like you. Your singular perspective may patch some small hole in the vast tattered fabric of humanity. Uniqueness alone, however, does not make you valuable. If you don’t do, if you don’t dare, then you rob the world — and yourself–of the chance to contribute something meaningful.” ― Ryder Carroll

It was a Croatian restaurant. Fish reigns there. They bring a platter with a variety of seafood, table side, to explain each one in detail.  It was a 5 minutes explanation on each type of fish and shellfish.

I didn’t care for any of the appetizers, as they were mostly shellfish, so we split some grilled vegetables to start.  For the main course I had the branzino with risotto.  He had the red snapper with potatoes and Swiss chard.  For dessert I had the chocolate cake that was made with almond flour, almonds and orange.  He had the Kremsnita, a puffy pastry with vanilla custard cream.  

Everything was delicious.  The only thing that was lackluster was the drinks.  The bartender had no idea what he was doing. I don’t like to send anything back, food or drink, but I had to send the cosmopolitan back.  Even after I doctored it with more cranberry juice, it was awful. I just got the prosecco instead, and my date had a dirty martini.  

After a few hours, the manager offered to give us a free drink if we chose to go to the bar so they could sit another party.  I was okay with that, we were already done and ready to go anyway.  We just sat at the bar so he could settle the bill..  We both declined the free drink.

We had a great time, talking and laughing.  Unfortunately there was no chemistry for me.  He wanted to go on a second date, but I don’t want him to drive another 2 hours when I already know that I have no interest in romance. If he lived closer we would probably go out again as friends. 

“And what is a kiss, specifically? A pledge properly sealed, a promise seasoned to taste, a vow stamped with the immediacy of a lip, a rosy circle drawn around the verb ‘to love.’ A kiss is a message too intimate for the ear, infinity captured in the bee’s brief visit to a flower, secular communication with an aftertaste of heaven, the pulse rising from the heart to utter its name on a lover’s lip: ‘Forever.”― Edmond Rostand,  Cyrano de Bergerac

The woman from the office next door came over to ask me how my date went.  Yes, I do announce to all that will listen when I am going on a date. 🙂  Well, not really, but I am the type that if you ask me what I am doing tonight I will tell you exactly what.

I just simply said that it was good but there will not be a second date.  Some people don’t understand why I don’t want to go on a second date, and see if anything develops. To me, it is there or isn’t there.  It is that simple.  She insisted, asking me Why? why? over and over.

“Because I don’t want to kiss him” – I said.  She burst out laughing.  I was not trying to be funny.  If I don’t see myself potentially kissing someone, then I don’t want to waste my time or theirs.  Of course, relationships are not only about that, but if that is missing, then there is no future. 

Sorry David  https://dfolstad58.wordpress.com/ ,  Once again I didn’t take a single picture of my food or the restaurant 😦  The picture at the top was found online, it is of their courtyard.

“The saddest word
in the whole wide world
is the word almost.

He was almost in love.
She was almost good for him.
He almost stopped her.
She almost waited.
He almost lived.
They almost made it.”
― Nikita Gill

The Dream, The Dreamer, The Inflexible and The Flexible

30 Friday Apr 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 37 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all
of which have the potential to turn a life around.” -― Leo F. Buscaglia

Date with The Dream: This guy looks exactly like a picture I have on my vision board.  I don’t have a type, but I wanted my board to have the picture of someone symbolizing a partner.  So I cut the face of a guy from an ad in a magazine.  This guy looks exactly like this picture.  It is uncanny.  It felt somewhat like faith when he contacted me.

We exchanged messages for months, even though he lives not too far from me.  He may have been concerned with Covid. He is 8 years younger and a professional photographer.

We met at La Herradura for dinner and drinks.  I was happy to see that he looked exactly like his picture.  He was sweet, and such a gentleman.

BUT, for some reason his speech and mannerisms were very distracting to me.  It detracted from his image.  I don’t think I would be able to date him and not want to change him.  I have the combination of an accent and a lisp, so I am well aware of the hypocrisy here.

I have learned about photo shoots, and working with clay. I had fun, good food, and we parted as friends.

“We are all hypocrites. We cannot see ourselves or judge ourselves the way we see and judge others.”― José Emilio Pacheco

Date with the Dreamer:  This man is 54 years old, and has lived in different parts of the country.  He is now in Pennsylvania to help with his parents.  I appreciate that!

He is very smart and well read, full of ideas for the future.  He wants to write a few books and shared his ideas with me.  I admire his ambition but it seems that he has lot of ideas, and not enough action.

We had a fun time over appetizers and drinks at Maria’s Restaurant, but not enough chemistry to embark on a long-distance relationship.

I learned about all his interesting book ideas, and also parted as friends.

“Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment.” -― John O’Donohue

Date with the Inflexible ex-cop:  He is my age, in great shape, takes very good care of his appearance; and apparently of his home.  He is retired from the police force and now works in security.

We met for coffee at R Café & Tea Boutique.  We spoke about everything for a couple of hours.  It was clear that even though he was a great guy, he is not for me.  He seemed a bit too set on his ways, inflexible in some areas.  I guess so am I.  I may be guilty of hypocrisy again ☹

I have learned about home improvements, and also of the struggles between a father and his adult children.  We parted as friends.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ― Rumi

Date with the Flexible Gym Guy.  Tonight, I will be going to dinner with a 45-year-old tech guy.  That is, if he doesn’t annoy me too much with the request for pictures. He often sends me pictures of himself while out driving, exercising, whatever. Then he asks me to send one in return.

I never did, and the more he asks the more I don’t want to do it.  Yesterday I sent a picture of the crystals and rocks I have on my desk.  Perhaps he got the message finally.  I am not into exchanging pictures before meeting, and won’t feel pressured to do so.

He seems very intelligent, and plays the guitar.  He is very focused on his body lately.  He has a personal trainer and goes to the gym religiously.  He says he is at his best, as far as strength and flexibility. I am not that into exercise lately, so perhaps it is good to meet someone that is.  Maybe it will rub off on me.

Stay tuned for the details of the date.

“If you limit your choice only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.” ― Robert Fritz

From ghosting to gaslighting, to goodbye

20 Tuesday Apr 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 61 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ― Alexander Pope

P. is out of the hospital and home recuperating. It is disappointing how I found out.

I hadn’t heard any updates from his sister or his friend.  Originally I was alternating sending daily texts and messages on OKCupid.  Then it was every couple of days.  I didn’t want to be overwhelming.  My messages were short and all it said was something like: “I hope you are getting better. Sending prayers.”

I imagined that he would be happy to see that there was someone thinking of him and wishing him well, as I would.  I thought that once he could get to his phone he would send me a note.  Not that I thought we would resume dating where we left off.  I thought we could be friends and go from there.   His focus should be on his health. 

Imagine my surprise when I logged on the dating site on Sunday morning and saw that the green light next to his name was on, meaning he was online. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, perhaps somebody had his phone or computer or something.

I logged a few more times throughout the day and continued to see the green light.  Since I had been texting and messaging him all along it made no sense to text him again, so I texted his friend.

I was surprised.  Clearly, Peter has been getting my messages. I wonder why not say anything. Even if just to make me go away.  Say something like: “I am out of the hospital and resting.  I will be in touch when I am well.”

His friend seemed to imply I was bothering.  I took the hint. Case closed.

An hour later Peter wrote. Clearly his friend let him know I texted him.  At the top is my last text to him from 6 days earlier.  I don’t think I was over the top with the texting amount and content.



I didn’t reply.  Ten minutes later he messaged on OKCupid saying the same thing. I didn’t reply there either.  Clearly, he only texted me because his friend said something.

Just now, as I am writing this, I noticed that he sent me that text yesterday (it was an extra busy day yesterday). It changes nothing for me.

This chapter is done. I am glad he is out of the hospital and doing well. 

Later, still on Sunday, his friend wrote again:

WHAT?  He is surprised I am concerned?  He is the one that tracked me down on the dating site to let me know Peter was in the hospital.  Peter is the one that was already planning dinners and trips; and talking to friends and family about me.

This, to me, is an example of gaslighting.  Making it seem like I imagined things.   I didn’t reply.  

Then last night, he wrote again:

Offended? no.  Annoyed? yes.  But not worth the time and energy explaining to him that he was out of line. It is best to just move on.

I replied this morning:

It is indeed all good.  Everything is always good, and it is always as it is meant to be.  There are lessons here and I will eventually learn them.  But I will continue treating people as I want to be treated. I can live with that regret.

My disappointment is not because of another potential romance that has failed.  A romance failure just means I am getting closer and closer to the real thing.  I am disappointed that Peter couldn’t have had the decency and kindness of reaching out before being forced to.  He left me wondering if he was dead or alive. In the meantime he was checking the dating site.

NEXT!

“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.” ― Henry David Thoreau

In other news, life is busy and I still manage to go on a couple of dates that I will be writing about next. Stay tuned, this rollercoaster never stops for long.

 

Cute or Cruel?

09 Friday Apr 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 29 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

“Sometimes I go to God and say, “God, if Thou dost never answer another prayer while I live on this earth, I will still worship Thee as long as I live and in the ages to come for what Thou hast done already. God’s already put me so far in debt that if I were to live one million millenniums I couldn’t pay Him for what He’s done for me.” ― A.W. Tozer

P. remains in the hospital.  I didn’t get in touch with his sister again.  I reached out to his friend Pat.  Pat gives me the updates that he gets from P.’s sister.   She is very frustrated by the treatment he is getting in the hospital he is in now.  She happens to be a top nurse in the hospital where he was treated for Covid a couple of months back.

Now he is in another hospital where his sister has no say.  They tested him again for Covid.  It came back positive as it was likely it would. Because of the positive result they put him in the Covid ward and no visitors are allowed.    

I continue to send daily texts to his phone with positive messages in the off chance that he sees them.  I can’t imagine being in a hospital, disconnected from loved ones and depending on strangers. Sending prayers and good wishes every time he comes to mind.

“Within her presence, I had once been used
to feeling—trembling—wonder, dissolution;
but that was long ago. Still, though my soul,
now she was veiled, could not see her directly,
by way of hidden force that she could move,
I felt the mighty power of old love.”
― Dante Alighieri

Moving on to a man from the past. I wrote about this person before, here: https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2015/08/26/a-baby-made-me-cry/ and here: https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2019/05/09/eliminating-the-distractions/  and in some other posts.  I referred to him as J. or JW.  I had blocked him before but we somehow started communicating again.

He calls and texts every several months.  I normally return the call if it is regarding business.  I last spoke to him a couple of months ago and put him in touch with a colleague regarding a business idea. 

The calls are mostly friendly and always ends up with the idea of one day meeting for drinks.  I know it will not happen, but it has been always the way we end phone calls.

Out of the blue, a couple of days ago, I got the text below:

I didn’t reply, and will not reply.   I feel bad because I don’t like to ignore people.  But in this case I feel I am being the voice of reason for both of us.  I am not adding fuel to this potential fire.  I am not adding my poetic self to his fairy tale view of this almost romance.

What is the point of looking back?  I am single.  He is married.  End of story. I am not going there.  I am sure that he is probably at a point in his marriage that he is bored.  I am variety, I am spice, I am what if.

I have to be honest and say that the attention massaged my ego for a second. Someone is thinking of me, it warmed my heart.  Originally I thought it was sweet, but almost immediately felt annoyed.

“Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

 I know it may seem like it is just a text.  It is not! It is so much more.  It is the fairy-tale.  In between those lines I read so much more. It is what I dream of and search high and low for. 

My heart took a leap.  Yes, my heart is a dummy dreamer that doesn’t know the difference between lust and love.

Why play with somebody’s heart and emotions like that?  I thought it was a tad thoughtless.  I think he has this fairy-tale idea of the romance we almost lived.  I am not even sure if we would be a good match if we were ever single at the same time. But the question mark remains and it is forever enticing.

It would make a good story, star-crossed lovers that met in a train…

My sister tells me daily that I should write a book…perhaps I should, just to memorialize the eternal search for love… in all the wrong places.

Wishing you all the most amazing weekend!  May it be blessed with surprises! ♥♥

“A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is… A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in.” -― C.S. Lewis

 

Feeling blessed: Pat found me, P. is getting better and A. celebrated me

07 Wednesday Apr 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, EX Files

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

, , ,

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” -― Lao-Tzu

P.’s sister hasn’t contacted me again, as she said she would.  In the meantime, his best friend Pat, contacted me on OKCupid a few days ago.  He wanted to let me know that P. had not ghosted me.

I was very surprised.  It was nice of him to do that.  I gave him my phone number and asked him to let me know if he receives any updates. 

Since I hadn’t heard from the sister, I texted Pat yesterday morning.  He got back to me at the end of the day and he let me know that P. is off of the respirator and out of the ICU. 

I am relieved and happy that he is getting better.  I know I will be speaking to him at some point, but I know he now needs to focus on getting better.  

In the meantime I do sent him texts and messages just sending prayers.

***

Last Friday I was treated to a late birthday dinner by my friend A.  He said he would pick the restaurant.  I was surprised since I am the one that often chooses where we go when we get together.

He picked Lusardi’s, a Mediterranean restaurant in Larchmont, NY.  He said he remembered I mentioned I never went there before.  I was touched that he remembered something I had mentioned in passing a long time ago.

He had red wine and I had a delicious hibiscus martini. We shared a couple of tuna appetizers and salad.  He had a gluten free pasta with vegetables and I had grilled char with cherry tomatoes and artichokes.  We shared a chocolate fudge cake. 

We had an awesome time.  It was a cold evening and we sat next to the fireplace.  We talk about all things spiritual, love, finances, health, anything and everything.  We always have the most amazing time together. 

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

My date has been found

02 Friday Apr 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 36 Comments

Tags

, ,

“The most poetical thing in the world is not being sick.” ― G.K. Chesterton

Updating from my last post.

By this afternoon I still hadn’t heard from P. I decided to call the hospital again. I spoke to the nurse in ICU. I explained to her who I was – someone that had 2 dates with him; and also that I had no idea even if he was the right person.

She offered to take my name and number and give it to the family.  I imagined all kinds of scenarios. She tossing the number away. Giving to the family and they choosing to ignore it. Or perhaps receiving a call from some woman saying: stop calling my husband.  My imagination went into overdrive.

The nurse gave my number to his sister when she called in.  The sister called me this evening. I am embarrassed to say that I got so overwhelmed and anxious with the phone call that I really didn’t ask anything. I assumed a lot things. I need to work on that.

“Assumptions are the enemy of coherence,” Sharine said.
In other words, You’re an idiot.” ― Nalini Singh

I understood that he didn’t feel well on Monday, and ended up going to the hospital on Tuesday. As of today he was in the ICU was on the respirator.

I didn’t ask why he was on the hospital. I assumed it had to do with having had Covid-19 in the past.  He mentioned having to be in the hospital for 5 days because of breathing issues.

She said that she knew we had plans on Saturday night, and that I was probably trying to get in touch with him. She has his phone but not password to get in.

She said she will be visiting him tomorrow and will text me with an update. I will try speaking to her and actually getting more information. I will try letting her get the words out before I cut her off with my assumptions.

At least now we know what happened… well, kind of.  It is too much like a romantic comedy; if it was not so tragic.

Prayers for his recovery are welcomed and appreciated! ♥♥

“Every sickness has an alien quality, a feeling of invasion and loss of control that is evident in the language we use about it.” ― Siri Hustvedt

Accepting uncertainty and hoping for the best

31 Wednesday Mar 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one” ― Rumi

This is such a weird post to write.  I originally started writing about being ghosted by the guy I had 2 dates with.  I have been ghosted many times before.  I was a mixture of being angry, concerned and totally indifferent – if that makes any sense at all. 

We had 2 great dates, and have been exchanging messages every day.  Last time I exchanged messages with him was Sunday.  We talked about meeting during the week and on Saturday he was going to cook me dinner.  

On Monday there was silence. I sent a text when I didn’t hear from him by 2pm. At 7pm I reached out again.  Then yesterday I texted, and at 3:30pm I called. It rang until it went into voice mail. I left a message. At 7:30 I left another voice mail.

He is an accountant, so I am aware that this is his busy season. But no one is that busy that they cannot send a text saying at least: “I am busy”, or “Go away”.

“Because I thought it was still possible everything was all right. Why did I think that? Because I had not heard otherwise. I was in the middle of a mystery.” ― Sebastian Barry,  The Secret Scripture

Two days of silence is not a lot, but he had seemed so serious about me. Today I decided to call the hospitals because of something he had mentioned before.  He said he had been in the hospital with Covid some weeks prior.  I called the hospital he had mentioned first.  Nothing.  Then I called the hospital where his house is.  Nothing.  Then I called the hospital where he has his apartment.

There is a patient there in ICU with his name.  He has a fairly common name, so there is still a possibility that it is not him, but it probably is.  The nurse at ICU wouldn’t give me any information because I am not family.  

I feel awful and powerless.  I have no information about his family.  We had 2 dates, I can’t even be considered a friend yet, so I am not even sure if they would even talk to me. 

My hope is that someone in his family is monitoring his phone and they will eventually see my texts and text me back.  He is very close with his family, I would think that he mentioned my name to them if he was as serious about me as he seemed.  I know he has mentioned me to a friend named Pat.

I guess, at this point, all I can do is to have patience and wait.  Wait for something.  I pray that he will be okay.

“The more you pray, the less you’ll panic. The more you worship, the less you worry. You’ll feel more patient and less pressured.” ― Rick Warren

***