, , , ,

“God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites so that you will have two wings to fly, not one” ― Rumi

This is such a weird post to write.  I originally started writing about being ghosted by the guy I had 2 dates with.  I have been ghosted many times before.  I was a mixture of being angry, concerned and totally indifferent – if that makes any sense at all. 

We had 2 great dates, and have been exchanging messages every day.  Last time I exchanged messages with him was Sunday.  We talked about meeting during the week and on Saturday he was going to cook me dinner.  

On Monday there was silence. I sent a text when I didn’t hear from him by 2pm. At 7pm I reached out again.  Then yesterday I texted, and at 3:30pm I called. It rang until it went into voice mail. I left a message. At 7:30 I left another voice mail.

He is an accountant, so I am aware that this is his busy season. But no one is that busy that they cannot send a text saying at least: “I am busy”, or “Go away”.

“Because I thought it was still possible everything was all right. Why did I think that? Because I had not heard otherwise. I was in the middle of a mystery.” ― Sebastian Barry,  The Secret Scripture

Two days of silence is not a lot, but he had seemed so serious about me. Today I decided to call the hospitals because of something he had mentioned before.  He said he had been in the hospital with Covid some weeks prior.  I called the hospital he had mentioned first.  Nothing.  Then I called the hospital where his house is.  Nothing.  Then I called the hospital where he has his apartment.

There is a patient there in ICU with his name.  He has a fairly common name, so there is still a possibility that it is not him, but it probably is.  The nurse at ICU wouldn’t give me any information because I am not family.  

I feel awful and powerless.  I have no information about his family.  We had 2 dates, I can’t even be considered a friend yet, so I am not even sure if they would even talk to me. 

My hope is that someone in his family is monitoring his phone and they will eventually see my texts and text me back.  He is very close with his family, I would think that he mentioned my name to them if he was as serious about me as he seemed.  I know he has mentioned me to a friend named Pat.

I guess, at this point, all I can do is to have patience and wait.  Wait for something.  I pray that he will be okay.

“The more you pray, the less you’ll panic. The more you worship, the less you worry. You’ll feel more patient and less pressured.” ― Rick Warren