Category Archives: Dating

The 4th date and a misframe

13 Sunday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Mosaic and other crafts

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“I find only sadness and melancholy when I wade through the past, even when revisiting good memories. The past is gone; I can neither grasp it nor reshape it. Therefore, I must force my eyes to look toward the future where my mortal powers thrive.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Being Bold: Quotes, Poetry, & Motivations for Every Day of the Year

The fourth date was on Thursday night.  We met at a wine bar called Aura.  He remembered that this is the same place we had our second date 5 years ago.  At that time the place was called Gnarly Vine. 

He remembers everything about the few dates that we had 5 years ago.  He remembers where we went, what I said, etc.  I don’t remember anything, but as he shares what he remembers, bits and pieces come back to me.

It is crazy that I totally blocked out any memory of dates with him.  I remember liking him, and that is it.  My lack of memory of the past it is probably a combination of covid mental fogginess plus selective memory.  No sense in dwelling in the past.

We agreed to stop talking about the past and focus on the present. We are happy that we are getting a do-over.

If he doesn’t have to drive his daughter back to college tomorrow, Sunday, I will be going to his house for homemade pizza.  I am looking forward to seeing his home.  One can tell a lot from how a person lives. Fingers crossed that she is able to get a ride.

“. . .Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

While I was waiting for my latest piece (a bird) to dry, I decided to do a picture frame.  It was going to be a gift for my brother, but then came the flowers and the butterfly. And instead of grout I used glitter, tons of glitter.  It is hard to see the glitter in the picture.  It is no longer for my brother 🙂

A post about everything

09 Wednesday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Unlike Seinfeld, this post is about everything.

Bali is not enough!

I told the overly excited accountant that I am not interested in a second date.  He said: “It sounds like you have somebody else.”  I said: “No, that’s not it.”

And that is the truth.  Even if I was not interested in the Older guy from the past, I would still be saying no to him.  Being alone is not an issue for me. Being with the wrong person is.

He was a nice guy and he was trying hard. I feel for him.  He said he got divorced because his wife left him for a guy that made more money.  He is now very proud to be making a lot money.  Every conversation is about how well his business ventures are doing.

He was even talking about vacations in Bali.  He showed me the Instagram photos of the villa in Bali where we would be staying in.  All very tempting, but not tempting enough to forget that I know he is not the one for me.

“Rise above the deceptions and temptations of the mind. This is your duty. You are born for this only; all other duties are self-created and self-imposed owing to ignorance.” ― Sivananda

On the way to one month and more

Tomorrow night it will be the fourth date with B.  I will call him B. instead of Older Guy from the Past.  When do I stop counting dates?  Perhaps when it hits one month.  Then I will start counting months, then years.  Yes, I am feeling ambitious.

But no, I am not making any plans more than one date at a time.  The future no one knows, I will know when I get there. For now I am enjoying the infinite possibilities of the present moment.

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.” – Thomas Merton

Peaceful time at work

There were two people at work that really annoyed me.  There was the guy that blocked me.  I thought I had canceled him, but turns out I cannot cancel co-workers on this program. So I blocked him back when he tried contacting me.  He now has to use email to reach me. That has been working fine.

The second was a woman that, one day would act as your best friend and the next would bit your head off.  She would become so defensive that it was impossible to have a conversation.  Things got a little better when she decided to just continuing working from home. She was easier to avoid over the phone.

She was fired this week.  While I am happy I will have peace from her, I feel bad when anyone gets fired.  Her firing had nothing to do with me.  It was due to poor performance.  If she were still bringing money to the company, she would still be here annoying me.

Sending her good wishes. May she find a better fit for her.

“Being agreeable didn’t make people less difficult.” ― Stewart O’Nan, Henry, Himself

It is like looking for a boyfriend, only worst

I am in search of a Primary care doctor.  I never cared for the one I had.  He never discussed anything.  I always felt he was in a hurry.  Am I asking too much for a little more time and attention?  Is it crazy to want a primary care doctor to go over blood test results, especially if some numbers are high?  His assistants were also the worst.

He has been my doctor for the past 4 years. I don’t like changes, but decided that keeping him because I don’t like changes is stupid. Similar to dating, I decided to start looking until I find the right one for me.

Also, on the health topic, I have scheduled an appointment with a gastroenterologist.  Since I contracted covid at the end of December, I have chronic heartburn.  I removed some of the foods that seemed to trigger it, and I keep taking Pepcid AC, Omeprazole, and other medications. Those helped a little.  At this point, my family and friends are worried and want me to have it checked.  I will also be speaking to the doctor about getting a colonoscopy.  I never had it, and I think the time is now.

“Doctors always think anybody doing something they aren’t is a quack; also they think all patients are idiots.” ― Flannery O’Connor, The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O’Connor

That is all for now folks!!  Thank you for the joy you give me when you visit!  I offer you a calorie free virtual slice of homemade chocolate cake. ♥♥  I would offer you Godiva Chocolates if I had any 😉

 

Giving it another shot

07 Monday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

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Update on the date, well, dates, with the man that I had a few dates with 5 years ago. 

1st date. Feb 25. We met at Modern Restaurant.  I had a lychee martini, he had chardonnay.  We shared meatballs and zucchini frites.  Everything was delicious.

When I walked in he was sitting at the bar.  I approached him and hugged him hello. I don’t think he was expecting a hug. I had wondered what would be like seeing him after 5 years.  Nothing had changed.  There was still chemistry.

We quickly got started in updating each other.  When we last saw each other, my sister was just moving to the US.  Now it will be 5 years that she is here.  His daughter was starting High School, now she is in college.

He is not struggling with thoughts of the dead wife anymore. At this point he is done with the grieving process and has been actively dating.  I always thought the reason he ghosted me was that he couldn’t forget the wife.

He is the oldest man I ever dated.  He is 65 years old.  I normally get along better with younger men, but, for some reason, there is something about him.

At the end, he drove me home, a whole block away 😊.  At my door, I just said bye and left the car, there was no kissing or anything and it was perfect like that.

“I had to heal… I had to stop trying to nourish my present life with expired moments. I had to move on… So that I could experience new love without being afraid of old pain.” ― Steve Maraboli

On Sunday, Feb 27, he texted me, but I had to keep the texting short as I was getting ready to go to dinner.

On Tuesday, Feb 29, he texted again and asked if I wanted to go to dinner.  I said yes and we decided to meet the next day. He then wrote: “I will pick you up.” 

I said: “oh you will pick me up?”

He said: “yes, you mentioned you don’t like driving”

Stuff like that means the world to me.  It shows that he was paying attention to what I was saying, and to my likes and dislikes. 

People pay attention: Show you care by your actions and not by words.

We went to Rio Bravo, a Mexican Restaurant in Larchmont. I had chimichangas and he had the enchilada. I had a mojito and he had wine.

The conversation flowed and he mentioned that he didn’t think he ghosted me, he thought I was not interested.  In our last date 5 years ago, he said I was mad when I met him for dinner.  He had texted me something more risqué, and I thought it was too much too soon.  Then during dinner my sister called to mention the fire alarm going off, and I said I had to leave.  He thought there was no alarm and it was something that was pre-arranged to cut the date short.

I was shocked as I remembered none of it.  While I definitely didn’t plan on my sister calling to bail me, I am recalling bits and pieces of that evening.  I remember being moody about something. 

He also mentioned that at that point in time, he definitely was not in a mental space to date.  Perhaps we are both in a better space now.  Perhaps we are both older and wiser.

When he dropped me at my door we kissed good bye.  It was short, sweet and perfect.

“New love is grand. Savor all the crazy, muddled might of it.”
― Eli Easton, The Mating of Michael

The third date was on Friday, March 4th.  He offered to pick me up but I said I would drive.  I don’t like driving but it made more sense.  He lives near the place we were going to. 

I rather let him pick me up when the place is hard to get to, and parking is not easily available.

We went to Chat American Grill in Scarsdale, NY.  I had a couple of passion fruit cosmopolitans and he had chardonnay.  That is his drink of choice.  We shared some appetizers of spring rolls, salad and artichoke.   

When we left we walked to his car and he drove me back to mine.  There was some kissing involved.  And it was good. 😊

It is a bit scary to find someone I really like after so long, specially someone that I had a some history with.  I am trying hard not to start sabotaging this, and to give it a real chance. 

I am doing all I can to stay in the moment, and enjoy all as is. It may last or it may not, and that is not the point.  The point is not to waste the moment trying to control the outcome.

“I know you think I’m crazy. Maybe that’s because I am. About life, about this moment, about you.” ― Crystal Woods, Write like no one is reading

Pay me no compliments, tell me no lies!

03 Thursday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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On Sunday I had a first date with the accountant that lives over an hour away in NJ.  He hit traffic, so it turned into an even longer drive.  He kept me informed along the way.  We ended up meeting an hour later than expected.

Unbeknownst to him, he picked a place within walking distance from me, Alvin and Friends, so his lateness was not a problem for me.  The food was great, I had ribs.  Yes, I had ribs on a first date!  He had the rosemary chicken.  Both delicious! 

The drinks were awful.  Later I saw that there seemed to be no bartender, the hostess appeared to be making the drinks. I sent my drink back.  I also mentioned to the waitress that they got my date’s order wrong.  He thought it was cute that I was “defending him”.  His words.

I am not a complainer and normally don’t make a big deal about things, but when it seems that the wait staff is not paying attention and is just careless, I will speak up. Politely.      

Getting back to the date.  He is better in person, in all senses.  He was handsome, funny, and very intelligent.  The conversation was great.

BUT, there is always a but!  He paid me compliments!  Yes, how dared he!!! Lol

I mean, he paid me too many compliments.  Yes, there is such a thing.  He went on and on, on how I was beautiful, smart, fun, etc.  He said that I was animated and talked with my hands.  He said my happiness was contagious. He would look at me with puppy eyes and marvel at how beautiful I was. It was over the top. 

The next day, Monday morning, he texted me at 7:03am, see below.  I made a point of not replying until later.

His enthusiasm is definitely too much too soon. This hurry, this sense of urgency, smells of despair and neediness, and that is not a great smell on a man, or anyone, for that matter.  It makes me feel it is not about how great I am, but instead, it is about how needy they are.

I think he is a great guy, but this hurry, just makes me want to run.  With the experience of that last guy, I am not even telling him to slow down anymore.  I am just talking to him tonight,  wishing him luck and moving on.  They may say they can slow down, but they really can’t. 

My dating life, or lack thereof

25 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

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“If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.” ― Marcus Aurelius

I haven’t gone on many dates lately, just a drink here and there.   I am busy with work, and most of the guys I have been matched with don’t seem to be good matches for me.

Most guys are either too young or live too far.  Some of the older ones are retired in Florida.  I am not moving to Florida any time soon, or ever.

Then, there are the usual jerks.   As an example, there was this one guy that asked if I was vaccinated.  I said yes.  He then replied:

“I need to be with someone who is intelligent enough to see through the narratives. Look at what they’re doing in Canada now. Martial Law.”

I was shocked.   There is really no response to that.  I just closed the chat.  

This, to me, is not about being pro or against the vaccine, but about people being so judgmental, inflexible and unwilling to have a conversation about different opinions; or the assumption of a different opinion.  

For the record: I don’t mind talking about the vaccine.  I was vaccinated because I felt I had to.  Once I got the 1 dose of JNJ, I felt it was the right decision for me at that point.  I have not gotten the booster yet.  I am still on the fence, leaning towards not getting it.

I got covid in December and I am still struggling with some remaining issues: heartburn, mental fogginess and anxiety. Would it have been worst without the shot? 

“I am what I might term an unprejudiced sceptic. I am not given to either believing or disbelieving things ‘on principle,’ as I have found many idiots prone to be, and what is more, some of them not ashamed to boast of the insane fact.” ― William Hope Hodgson

Moving on. Some of the guys that I am talking to and deciding if I am going to meet or not:

The hypnotist:  I am afraid he will hypnotize me.  I am scared he will turn me into a chicken or worse, make me believe I am so in love with him. Kidding/no kidding.   He gave me his whole information and I checked him out.  He is legit.    

The very young and very cute:  There are a couple of them.  They are both in their early 40s.  I am not.  Is it worth meeting guys where the relationship will go nowhere?  Probably not, but they have been so charming and, so far, saying all the right things.

The wordy accountant:  I may meet this one on Sunday.   I am not sure.  He lives over an hour away, but says he doesn’t mind driving to my area.  He is going on and on about the fact that he is looking for a long-term relationship and not a one night stand.  Is he trying to convince me or himself?

“Potential requires exploration.”
― Laurence Galian

***

Tonight I am going to have drinks with someone I went on a couple of dates with, 5 years ago.  I wrote about him in a couple of posts.  He is the guy (widower) that I mention towards the end of this post:

https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2017/06/07/what-is-so-bad-about-being-being-positive/

It is just a drink to catch up.  He was a nice guy, but reading back I realized that he kind of ghosted me.  I am keeping an open mind.  But I am doubly cautious about embarking in anything.  I keep saying I want to make new mistakes…

“The past is never where you think you left it.”
― Katherine Anne Porter

A non-date date

11 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“If you don’t do it this year, you’ll be one year older when you do.” ― Warren Miller

I had a quick date on Wednesday night.  I met this guy months ago on OKCupid.  I am not longer on that site.  He left the site first and gave me his number so we could keep in touch.

I eventually texted him and we started exchanging messages.  Even though we live only 30 minutes apart, it was hard to make plans to meet until now. 

We chose to meet in Bronxville, NY.  It is has a charming downtown.  We were going to meet at Starbucks, but when I got there he was standing outside.  They had just closed.  It was good thing. We walked around and found a better place.

“I feel the need to endanger myself every so often.” ― Tim Daly

The place we found is called Slave to the Grind. It reminded me of coffee shops in skiing resort towns, which was apropos since this was more of a skiing date, then a romantic date.

Let me explain: One of the reasons that we connected was our love of skiing.  Mine is more of a platonic love, since I seldom ski, and I am not really good at it.  His, is a full blown love affair. He has been skiing since he was 10, and still races from time to time.  

I just found out yesterday that he has a home in Whistler, BC, which is my absolute favorite place on earth! Icing on the cake!

He is over 60 years old, but I don’t remember his exact age, and didn’t want to ask again.  He looks younger in person.  Taller than me, bald, smart, cultured and personable. He is involved in international business.  Mostly retired now, he does some consulting on the side. 

“Cross-country skiing is fine as long as you live in a small country.” ― Steven Wright

We started talking as if we have known each other for years, and not just months of texting.  It was not a long date.  We mostly talked about our backgrounds and of course, skiing.

He invited me to go skiing on Sunday and I said yes.  I think he can teach me a lot.  I am hoping to get a few pointers and perhaps gain more confidence.

Even though he is a great person it seems that we are both more into being skiing friends than anything else.  It felt more like meeting a skiing buddy than a potential boyfriend.  I think that, at this point, I am more excited about finding a skiing partner than a love match. 

Before I forget, I had the mocha with oat milk and a scone.  The mocha was delicious and the scone was bad.  Is tasted old, I don’t think they make their own baked goods. I would go back for the coffee. He had a cappuccino, which I believe he enjoyed. 🙂

Skiing report coming on Monday!  Wish me luck!

“The problem with winter sports is that — follow me closely here — they generally take place in winter.” ― Dave Barry

Old-fashioned much?

26 Wednesday Jan 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

I finally met J. for a 4th date.   I was hoping that I would feel differently seeing him again, but I feel the same way.  Not too much excitement.  He is a great guy but the little chemistry that seemed to be there is gone.  

The absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder.  It made it grow indifferent.

I was honest with him, that I was feeling overwhelmed and pressured by all his attention, texting and calling.  It felt too much, too soon.  I felt he was in love with the idea of me and a relationship.

He mentioned that when I had Covid he wanted to send me flowers but didn’t have my apartment number.  I said I was glad that he didn’t, it would have been nice, but way too much too soon. He said that even if we were just friends he would still send me flowers if I was sick.  I doubt that.

On the first date he had mentioned that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was overdoing with the texting and sending pictures daily.  I pointed out now that he was doing the same thing to me.  He said he understood.  He said he was okay with just being friends.

“I can officially confirm that the way to a man’s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.” ― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

His birthday was on the beginning of January, so before we ordered our drinks and meals I mentioned that I was going to treat him for his birthday.  He didn’t want to accept, but finally agreed.

We always talk a lot, with some agreeing and disagreeing about different topics.  At one point he asked me what I wanted for my future, how I saw my future.

I answered that I wasn’t sure and didn’t really have my future/retirement planned out.  Then, I added that it would be perfect to have an apartment in Manhattan, one in Paris, a chalet on a skiing mountain and, for good measure, a beach house. 

He said: “Good luck with finding a man to give you that!”

I was taken aback, and honestly shocked and disappointed with his comment. It stopped me on my tracks.  I said to him:

“What? Why can I achieve that and more on my own?  You didn’t ask me what I was looking for in a man, or for a man to give me.  

He said that he was sorry, that he was joking.  But the damage was done.  Is that really what he thinks of me, and women? 

This clearly illustrates that he has no idea of who I am.  No one that knows me, would ever say that, even joking. We other points where we disagreed, and again he said he was joking.

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
― Henry Winkler

As I mentioned here, I don’t ever want to pay on the first date (I have at times when I knew I was never going to see the guy again and felt sorry he had overspent).  As a rule, I don’t care if it is a cup of coffee, I want to be treated on the first date.  On other dates, I don’t have a problem splitting the bill, or taking turns paying, like I do with my friends. 

With J., it has been no different.  After the first date, I offered to split the bill or treat him.  He always said no, and added that he would never have me pay.  Still, I have tried.  

If I wanted a guy to give me material things, I would have stayed with some of the rich guys I have met in the past, chemistry or not.  But that is not what I look for.  

What I want most is summed up by Steve Maraboli:

“I want love, passion, honesty, and companionship… sex that

drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane.”

Financially speaking, I don’t care what a man does for a living as long as it is honest, and hopefully it is something he is not miserable doing.   

He doesn’t need to be rich, all he needs is to be able to support himself.  I have no interest in doing that.

I don’t need or want a man to support me either.  I have been doing that very well since I was 17 years old, and I plan on continuing to do so.

Who knows, maybe I will have the apartment in Manhattan and in France, the house in the mountains and the house on the beach.  Achieving it all, all by myself! 😉

The next morning he sends me a picture. I guess he didn’t get it.

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” ― Lady Gaga

What is less than a break up, but still a break up?

14 Friday Jan 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Like some wines our love could neither mature nor travel.”
― Graham Greene, The Comedians

After 3 dates I had to cancel the 4th because of Covid.  He wanted to meet up last week, but I was still not 100% and decided to wait.  Then the following day he said he didn’t wake up feeling well.  He hasn’t been well ever since.  Yesterday, 7 days later, he finally took a home test and it was positive.

I don’t know when I will see him next.  The sad part is that I don’t care.  In the beginning of this potential relationship, I should be looking forward to seeing him, to talking on the phone, etc; and I am not. 

I feel overwhelmed by his attention, by the daily texting and wanting to talk on the phone.  He is kind, considerate, smart, such a great person.  But it all feels a bit too much to me. I feel drained at times.

“I felt as if each person within visual range were slowly draining the life from me. We were all connected, and the more them there were, the more I wanted to crawl under a table and cry.” ― Shaun David Hutchinson, We Are the Ants

He doesn’t know me yet. It feels like his excitement is not really about me, but the idea of me, the idea of a relationship.  If it really is about me, then he is definitely more into me, than I am into him. 

From the beginning I didn’t feel a lot chemistry, but I sensed potential.  I figured we would go on a few more dates and let things flow.  Instead, it feels I must make a decision now, otherwise I may be leading him on.

I didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone or on text, but I don’t feel I can wait anymore. I have mentioned to him before, how I feel pressured if it is too much too soon, but I don’t think he really understood.

It feels like a breakup, but when is a break up a break up?  We had 3 dates. I feel he tried to speed things up, and covid put a wrench on things, but I don’t feel we were a relationship yet.  

I think this is the case that if we were right for each other I would just welcome the attention and not feel pressured.  With the right person everything feels right.  

“I’ll tell you something, Harpy,” he said, his voice almost a whisper now. “It never even occurred to me that we wouldn’t make it. And it never occurred to you that we would. You were just waiting for us to go down in flames. I thought we could get through anything.” ― Kristan Higgins, My One and Only

He came with gifts

25 Saturday Dec 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Do you want a good advice on your path? Here it is: Don’t be sure of your path! Don’t ever be sure of it! Do you want more advice? Here it is: Doubt your path! And examine the other paths, know the other paths!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

He didn’t disappear or ghosted.  I didn’t cancel or run away.  I made it to the elusive third date.

Because of timing, I had to decide on dinner or movie.  I didn’t want to do both, I thought it would be too long.  I chose movie.  I have been eating too much and with more big meals to come, I figure I would just go with popcorn.

“Doubt everything. Find your own light.”
― Gautama Buddha, Sayings Of Buddha

We saw West Side Story.  Again, I was expecting more. Some people I know that had seen it, said they cried.  I didn’t.  I was more annoyed at the lack of common sense, but the movie rings true even nowadays, or perhaps even more so.  And in that sense it is sad.  We, as humanity haven’t evolved, we are becoming worst to each other.

At the end of the movie we walked back to my building, where he had left his car.  He wanted me to walk to his car. I said I was not going.  He insisted.  I said ok but I am not getting in.  He said you don’t have to.

“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.” ― Bertrand Russell

Turns out he wanted to pick up Christmas gifts that he brought, not only for me but also for my sister.  I was shocked and embarrassed.  He said it is just something simple. I hope so.  I got him nothing, but ordered a book now.

He also brought my sister, white pine needles for her to make tea. Apparently it has many benefits, including improving the immune system.

He texted now asking me out for Sunday.  He wants to meet during the day, has a couple of fun ideas.

“Expressing doubt is how we begin a journey to discover essential truths.” ― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

I meet a guy that seems perfect. He is a gentleman, spiritual, handsome, interested in self growth, funny, family oriented, plan dates, open car doors, pays for everything, etc, etc.  So why am I hesitating?  Why am I so unsure?

His only apparent flaw as of now:  liking me too much!!

Since I didn’t post this yet, and it is now Christmas morning and we have already opened our gifts, here is what he got for us:

My sister got a beautiful candle above and I got an assortment of bath salts, mango scented scrub and a special Greek oil.  Plus chocolate.  He tried to hit all my favorites.

“In these times I don’t, in a manner of speaking, know what I want; perhaps I don’t want what I know and want what I don’t know.” ― Marsilio Ficino, The Letters of Marsilio Ficino, Vol. 3

I hope you guys are having a beautiful, peaceful and joyous Christmas!  Blessings to us All! 

He came with pink flowers

22 Wednesday Dec 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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I forgot to mention on my last post that J. brought me flowers on the second date.

My nails had pink polish on the first date, and he complimented them.  I mentioned liking pink nail polish and he assumed I liked all things pink. 

So he chose pink flowers. I appreciated the gesture. It is always special to receive flowers, no matter what color.

We are going on the 3rd date tonight.  We haven’t decided where to go yet, as I am not sure what time I will be able to leave work.  He mentioned dinner and a movie again, but I think it will be too much since I have to be up very early tomorrow.

He reaches out every day, and continues to say all the right things.  I am still skeptical, but I plan on:

  • Proceed with caution, but not forget to enjoy the moment  
  • Speak up – Say what I need and want. Don’t expect him to read my mind.
  • Ask questions  – when is doubt, ask.  If something is bothering, talk about it
  • Keep fear and doubts at bay – Not let the fear of getting hurt sabotage a potential good thing.  Acknowledge the fear, but not let it paralyze me. 
  • Not look at everything as a red flag.  Don’t assume the worst.  Look and assess the evidence.
  • Listen to my instincts – they are very good at guiding me.

“THE WEATHER OF LOVE

Love
Has a way of wilting
Or blossoming
At the strangest,
Most unpredictable hour.
This is how love is,
An uncontrollable beast
In the form of a flower.
The sun does not always shine on it.
Nor does the rain always pour on it
Nor should it always get beaten by a storm.
Love does not always emit the sweetest scents,
And sometimes it can sting with its thorns.
Water it.
Give it plenty of sunlight.
Nurture it,
And the flower of love will
Outlive you.
Neglect it or keep dissecting it,
And its petals will quickly curl up and die.
This is how love is,
Perfection is a delusional vision.
So love the person who loves you
Unconditionally,
And abandon the one
Who only loves you
Under favorable
Conditions.”
― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem