Category Archives: Daily Message

The Power of Consistency

22 Friday Oct 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently” ― Tony Robbins

Today marks the 100th day that I started using Duolingo to learn French.  

Throughout the years I have attempted to learn French, but I never really stuck to it.  I have mentioned it several times, but only to let it fall by wayside.  So, 100 straight days feels amazing.

After 100 days I know over 1300 words. I am able to read and write a lot.  My pronunciation is terrible, but I am not discouraged.   It took me a long time to be comfortable and not self-conscious speaking English, so I know that it will take time and effort, but it will come.

“Where focus goes, energy flows.” ― Tony Robbins

The fact that Duolingo keeps track of the days and let’s me know every time I complete a lesson, made it like a game.  How many straight days can I get?

I realize that being consistent is key to success to everything in life.  Now, even if it is just 5 minutes, I don’t go to sleep if I don’t login and do at least 1 French lesson.

It may be silly but the number 100 makes me feel powerful. What makes it important is that it is straight, every day with no days off.  It is the build up of one day at a time. It is the result of not leaving it for tomorrow, but doing it today, even if for only a few minutes.

Now, if I can only take this surge of energy and feeling of invincibility and let it flow over other areas of my life.  What else can I improve on, by dedicating just a few minutes a day? Everything!

Perhaps I van be more consistent here.  🙂

Wishing everything a weekend blessed with progress! ♥♥

“I can tell you the secret to happiness in one word: progress.” ― Tony Robbins

 

Many ways to break your neck, I mean, to be adventurous

06 Wednesday Oct 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Fiction

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“I didn’t want my life to be an occasional adventure. I wanted adventure to be  my life.” ― Jean-Philippe Soulé, I, Tarzan: Against All Odds

The other day a friend teased me when I said I was afraid to ride one of those e-scooters.  He said: You?  Really?  Aren’t you Miss Adventure?

I always considered myself adventurous, but what have I been doing lately that qualifies as adventurous? Just calling myself adventurous doesn’t make me adventurous.

There are over 200 e-scooters and 30 bikes available around downtown New Rochelle.  They seem fun and dangerous at the same time.  I toy with the idea of trying the scooter above out. 

Perhaps on a grassy field with no people or cars around.  Visions of attempting to rollerblade come to mind.  I didn’t do any better with piloting a motorcycle. I broke the mirror on my sister’s bike on the first try.

“Adventures are all very well in their place, but there’s a lot to be said for regular meals and freedom from pain.” ― Neil Gaiman, Stardust

Do I have to risk injury to prove I am adventurous, or perhaps I should just quit portraying myself as such?

Perhaps I can just be adventurous in mind and not in action. In my mind I am everything.

As far as the bike above, I am not afraid of it.  I just haven’t rode one in several years.  I figure one of theses days I will be riding one. It should be easy, after all, it is just like riding a bike 🙂

Or perhaps I should be afraid of it.  I still remember the last time I was on one.  It was right in downtown New Rochelle, and I think I was riding on the wrong side of the street or something like that.  A man stuck his head out of his van and yelled: “Lady, you are going to kill yourself”.

“Until you step into the unknown, you don’t know what you’re made of.” ― Roy T. Bennett

I rode home and was never on a bike again. I am not sure if he was the reason or if I just didn’t have a chance to ride again.

Can I just walk and be adventurous, or do I have to risk life and limb? I already risk myself skiing. 

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Why is it so important to me to be adventurous, or to see myself as adventurous?  I guess I equate “being adventurous” as “fully enjoying life” and “living with gusto”. 

I fully embrace the idea that we have to do things we fear to be able to grow.   Perhaps that is the reason that I hang on to skiing.  To feel adventurous. And to also feel young and powerful.

I fear being stuck, and not growing. One of the worst sins for me would be to one day look back in my life, and realize that I wasted my life for fear. Fear of trying, fear of getting hurt, fear of making a fool of myself, etc.

With all that being said: No, I am not trying that e-scooter any time soon.  And yes, I am going to continue to call myself adventurous. 

Hi, I am Ana and I am adventurous, and yet cautious. 

“To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one’s self…. And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one’s self.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

 

Coffee and friends: the perfect blend

30 Thursday Sep 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me, Mosaic and other crafts, Poetry

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“Either way, he figured a cup of coffee would hit the spot. For what is more versatile? As at home in tin as it is in Limoges, coffee can energize the industrious at dawn, calm the reflective at noon, or raise the spirits of the beleagured in the middle of the night.” ― Amor Towles, A Gentleman in Moscow

Again I am struggling to finish posts.  Blame it on lack of time and lack of focus.  Ideas come and go, and they fail to land on a page and be posted. 

I am trying to be better and do better.   

In the meantime my mosaics keep going.  Here is another one.  Now that I posted the pictures, I can see a lot of issues with the final product.  Such as, there are some areas where I need to clean some more of the grout off.  But if I am going to wait to do that first to post, this would be another post that wouldn’t see the light of the day.

Also, that is the beauty of mosaics, it is never perfect 🙂

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”
― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

“We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.”- Seinfeld

“What the hell makes you smart?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t go for coffee with you.”
“Listen – I wouldn’t ask you.”
“That,” she replied, “is what makes you stupid.”
― Erich Segal, Love Story

“Coffee and chocolate—the inventor of mocha should be sainted.”
― Cherise Sinclair, Hour of the Lion

“Coffee is a lot more than just a drink; it’s something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, a place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup” ― Gertrude Stein, Selected Writings

“Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.”-Anne Morrow Lindberg

And here is a sneak peak at the start of a ladybug, inspired by Monica at https://brilliantviewpoint.com/2021/09/03/ladybug-more-luck/

 

Feeling Inspired

24 Friday Sep 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

It was drizzling and cold very early this morning, when I walked to work.  I didn’t bother getting an umbrella.  It is always so windy around my apartment that umbrellas are useless.

I love, love this cool weather, changing into colder and colder, and then soon snow.  

I love the kind of days that some people call ugly: the rainy, cold, and dark days.  The best is to wake up to a day that is so dark, it is hard to tell if it is day or night.   I love the way it hits me.  It makes me feel alive.  It feels poetic.

I once told somebody that, and he said jokingly: “What is wrong with you? You should be a vampire.” Well, I had also told him that if were not for my sister and my plants I would never open my curtains.

I love the sun, but I think there is a certain comfort and coziness in dark spaces.  It is soothing. It embraces you like the welcoming arms of a lover.

It is now hours later, sunny and warm.  I am grateful for this Friday.  Nature is beautiful, sunny or cloudy, rain or shine, day or night. 

I am feeling inspired and Rilke came to mind.  The writing below is from “Letters to a Young Poet”.  I believe there is a young poet inside each one of us.  Sometimes the medium used is not words, but any art can be poetic.

From the poet inside of me to the poet inside of you:

“Describe your sorrows and desires, the thoughts that pass through your mind and your belief in some kind of beauty – describe all these with heartfelt, silent, humble sincerity and, when you express yourself, use the things around you, the images from your dreams, and the objects that you remember.

If your everyday life seems poor, don’t blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is not poverty and no poor, indifferent place. And even if you found yourself in some prison, whose walls let in none of the world’s sounds – wouldn’t you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, that treasure house of memories? Turn your attentions to it.

Try to raise up the sunken feelings of this enormous past; your personality will grow stronger, your solitude will expand and become a place where you can live in the twilight, where the noise of other people passes by, far in the distance. – And if out of this turning-within, out of this immersion in your own world, poems come, then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not. Nor will you try to interest magazines in these works: for you will see them as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it. A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. That is the only way one can judge it.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

A perfect Sunday and not so perfect boundaries

22 Wednesday Sep 2021

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“No” is a complete sentence.” -― Annie Lamott

On Sunday my sister and I went to the New Rochelle Street Fair.  It was okay.  We didn’t stay long. We then walked back to R Cafe and Tea Boutique.  Miraculously, the only table outside was empty and waiting for us. It was a gorgeous breezy sunny day. 

For a second I felt like I was in Paris.  All because of the the French rattan bistro chairs and the perfect setting.  I have never been to Paris, by the way 🙂

Later in the afternoon we got foot massages.  In the evening I went to dinner to with my friend A., at Sonora Restaurant in Port Chester.  That is one of my favorite restaurants, and A. is one of my favorite people.

“Boundaries aren’t all bad. That’s why there are walls around mental institutions.” ― Peggy Noonan, Patriotic Grace: What It Is and Why We Need It Now

He lets me be.  I am the type of friend that likes her space.  I don’t want, or need, to be involved in my friend’s lives on a daily basis.  All my friends know I am here for them. If they need me, I will drop everything and be there, in body, heart and financial support.

Lately I am feeling overwhelmed by a couple of friends.  They are just too much.  Is there such a thing as “too much” between friends?  Yes, there is!  Or perhaps there is not, and these are not real friends.  Very possible!

They want to be enmeshed into my, and my sister’s life.  When a text is not replied to, then the phone calls start.  Not one or two, but multiple, in succession, to both my sister and I.  When we are available and finally able to answer, there is no emergency.  They don’t let a day go bye without reaching out.

“If you spend your life sparing people’s feelings and feeding their vanity, you get so you can’t distinguish what should be respected in them.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender is the Night & The Last Tycoon

We almost feel like hostages, or worst, like there is no place to hide. And sometimes they invent excuses to just stop by, unannounced. Besides the multiple calls, there are multiple questions. Where were you?  With whom?  With a friend or a date? What are you doing tomorrow? What about next week?

We don’t want to be mean, specially since I know they went through a difficult situation recently. Which, by the way I helped them 100%.  But at this point it seems like it is a choice between our freedom to just be, or hurting them by setting boundaries. 

When put like that, it seems like a no-brainer.  I shall try, and we shall see.

“If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.” ― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No

 

 

The implied and inferred meaning of a hug

16 Thursday Sep 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“I had embraced you…
long before i hugged you.”
― Sanober Khan, A Thousand Flamingos

Mr. Stocks and I continue to text. Unfortunately we often have some sort of miscommunication or misunderstanding.  Now, I come to find out, not only my words, but also my actions are being misunderstood.

I thought it was a pleasant hug goodbye, with a potential future.  He thought it was a rejection. 

The texting starts when he is letting me know about his decision about a job offer that he had been considering.

I am not sure what the next chapter will be, but I am proceeding with caution.  I don’t want to hurt him or get hurt, or worst of all, damage the friendship.

I think he is more sensitive than other guys.  Or perhaps more insecure, and more afraid of getting hurt.

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” ― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

Some tennis watching and a back massage

08 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“Everyone has the fire, but the champions know when to ignite the spark.” ― Amit Ray, Enlightenment Step by Step

This Labor Day weekend, similar to prior years, except 2020, I went to the US Open on Saturday. 

I was pleasantly surprised that there were almost no lines to get in.  They checked the vaccination card and tickets very quickly.  There were some people with masks but the majority had no masks.  It felt freeing.

This time I wasn’t too excited to attend, as my two favorite players weren’t there:  Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams.  I need to find new favorites.

I do have a Brazilian player left in tournament, Bruno Soares.  He is in the Men’s Doubles semi-final, playing with Jamie Murray (Andy’s older brother).  I am not sure who they are playing against, but I will be watching that match.  

The weather was perfect.  While there, we had  a great lunch at The Mojito Restaurant.  They make the best yucca fries.  Inside the stadium we had Honey Deuce, the official drink of the US Open while watching the Novak Djokovic/Kei Nishikori match. Novak won. I was not happy.  Still it was a great match.

“Life has but one true charm: the charm of the game. But what if we’re indifferent to whether we win or lose?” ― Charles Baudelaire

One new and interesting thing is that there are no line judges anymore.  There is the chair umpire only. The line calls are made with the Hawk-Eye electronic line-calling.  The electronic voice that yells “OUT”, can be female or male, depending on what the other courts that are near are using, so not to confuse the players. 

It makes a big difference.  There are no longer challenges, which eliminates a lot of the drama.  I used to enjoy some of the drama though 🙂

On Sunday I went to Wegmans grocery store for the first time.  It is new in my area, and some people were raving about it.  It was a good store, but I don’t get excited about grocery stores. After lunch I got a back massage.

While I was getting a massage, I was just trying to relax and think of nothing.  It is an impossibility for me. While fighting random thoughts, the Jewish Holiday, Rosh Hashanah came to mind.  I thought to myself that I should text B. a Happy New Year.

B., is a woman that was very helpful to me in my first years in the U.S. We helped each other, but her coming into my life helped me achieve everything I have today.  

Last time I texted her she didn’t reply.  I don’t need a reply to text someone. I made a point of holding on to that thought to text her when my massage was over. 

After the 1 hour massage, with thoughts of what is for dinner, and no longer thinking of B.  I picked up my phone and I am shocked to see I have a missed call from her.  At the moment I was thinking about her, she was calling me.  I love the little  synchronicities of the Universe.  The Universe is always listening.

I called her back. She apologized for not texting back. We talked for a little bit.  Everything felt right in the world.

“Our intentions attract the elements and forces, the events, the situations, the circumstances, and the relationships necessary to fulfill the intended outcome.We don’t need to become involved in the details—in fact, trying too hard may backfire.It requires attention, and it also requires detachment. Once you have created the intention mindfully, you must be able to detach from the outcome, and let the universe handle the details of fulfilment.”
― Deepak Chopra, Synchrodestiny: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence to Create Miracles

On Monday I had dinner with someone that I have been speaking online for the past 6 years, and had never met before.  I am going to write about it next. Was it a good or bad meeting? Stay tuned to find out.

 

Not bad for an Old dog

01 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“If you want to do a few small things right, do them yourself. If you want to do great things and make a big impact, learn to delegate.” ― john c. maxwell

I have always struggled with asking people to do anything for me.  I also struggle with letting go of control.  That combination makes it very hard for me to delegate at work.

As a result I have been overworked for years; even though I do have someone to assist me.

I work for a very small firm, so I wear many hats.  From being the Treasurer to being the Compliance Officer, and everything else in between.  My assistant does the daily contracts.

I was doing way too much.  I realized that she could do more and alleviate some of my burden. Now, slowly, I have been giving her more responsibilities, and making her accountable for some tasks.

I learned that I need to:

  • Give step-by-step instructions
  • Communicate the expected outcome
  • Establish clear and realistic deadlines
  • Have tons of patience

“Focus on what you are good at; delegate all else.” – Steve Jobs

It has been tough.  A lot doesn’t get done as I would like.  Relinquishing control of functions that I always took pride in is difficult.  I have always felt that anything leaving my office is a reflection on me as a professional.

I am finally learning that to delegate is to learn to accept that something will not be done your way, but it will still get done.  So what if an email is not written as perfect as I want?  It is not the end of the world.

At work, I have been guilty of expecting people to take initiative.  I expect people to see that something needs to get done and to step up and do it.  Some people will never do that.  Some people need to be told what to do.

It is okay.  We are all different.  Some people are born to lead and some are born to follow. It doesn’t make one better than the other, but it should serve as a guide to where people should concentrate their efforts.

“The more control, the more that requires control. This is the road to chaos.— PanSpechi aphorism”  ― Frank Herbert, The Dosadi Experiment

In delegating, letting go of control and the need for things to be done my way, I have found some more time in my day.

I have found freedom.  Freedom from the need to be perfect.  Freedom from being in charge of everything.

I am finally learning to work smarter.  I have not only learned to delegate, but I am also learning to say no to additional work.

Who said an old dog can’t learn new tricks?

“I’ve seen too many leaders misunderstand leadership for legacy. Even the most experienced leaders will divide instead of delegate and incite instead of unite to advance hidden personal agendas.” ― Richie Norton

Henri, the hurricane, changed my plans

25 Wednesday Aug 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.” ― Robert Frost

My sister and I were supposed to spend last weekend in Boston, but the hurricane cut the trip short.  So, instead of Sunday night we drove home Saturday evening.  

We spent Saturday at Quincy Market, enjoying the sites and sounds.  There are all kinds of street performers, from violin players to jugglers. So much fun and talent!

We had breakfast inside the Boston Public Markets.  The bagels (Levend Bagelry) and popovers (The Popover Lady) were delicious.  The coffee was just ok (George Howell).

Quincy Market

Faneuil Hall served as a meeting place of Patriots during the American Revolution.  Nowadays is still used for public ceremonies, such as Citizenship Oath Ceremonies. One can feel the history walking through its doors.

We had a late lunch at State Street Provisions. We shared a little of everything, fish and chips, cheeseburger, avocado toast, street corn, salads.  The food was good.   The drinks were disappointing. I ordered the Triple Lindy (Vodka, Strawberry St. Germain, Yellow Chartreuse, Orgeat and Lime).  It sounded amazing on paper, but it tasted boring and flavorless.

After the late lunch, we browsed an outdoors fair and bought some glass jewelry.  By 7pm we were getting to my friend’s house to change to go out to dinner and more fun.  That is when another friend called me and scared me with the news about hurricane Henri.  He said: it will hit NY and then travel to Boston.  If you don’t leave now, you may not be back until Monday or Tuesday.

I was not afraid of missing a day or two of work, but in such situations I rather be in my home and not stranded at a friend’s house.

“All human plans [are] subject to ruthless revision by Nature, or Fate, or whatever one preferred to call the powers behind the Universe.” ― Arthur C. Clarke, 2010: Odyssey Two

Faneuil Hall

I loved, loved, loved the harbor.  It was such a beautiful sunny day. We didn’t take any boat trips or tours.  We were interested in doing the Duck Boat Tour on Sunday, but that never happened.  Will do that in a next trip.

I guess I should start paying more attention to the weather reports when I plan trips.

“Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential.” ― Winston Churchill

Boston Harbor

All in all it was a fun Saturday.  The storm was not as bad as expected, but I don’t regret returning home.  Better safe, than sorry.

“Ester asked why people are sad.
“That’s simple,” says the old man. “They are the prisoners of their personal history. Everyone believes that the main aim in life is to follow a plan. They never ask if that plan is theirs or if it was created by another person. They accumulate experiences, memories, things, other people’s ideas, and it is more than they can possibly cope with. And that is why they forget their dreams.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

Work in progress, or just unfinished?

17 Tuesday Aug 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“It is wise to master your self, but it is wiser to leave a few rogue thoughts, some few doubts, and some loose ends. It is into the wild and unfinished places that we can grow.” ― Chris Ernest Nelson

I have so many posts started, on topics such as “How to break up with a friend”, “Do I really need a pap smear every year?”, and everything else in between.

I start writing about something and go off to do something else. By the time I get back to it, hours or days later, it doesn’t feel fresh anymore.  That topic is not at the forefront of my mind anymore.

I don’t want to serve you guys anything stale 🙂  So it is pretty much your fault lol

Perhaps I should get back to all those drafts and either finish it and post it, or just delete it. I may be on to something here.  I have drafts from when this blog started in 2012.

“I keep turning over new leaves, and spoiling them, as I used to spoil my copybooks; and I make so many beginnings there never will be an end. (Jo March)” ― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Moving on for now.  I continue my streak of canceled dates. If it is not one thing, it is another.  Mostly it seems that it is becoming harder to actually schedule a date.  Everyone wants to talk on the phone, then becomes all confused about meeting up.

I guess I am growing impatient in my old age 🙂  I want someone that will take charge and not be wishy-washy.  I want someone that will be direct and make plans.  Plans that actually take into account that I am a woman, and that this is our first meeting.  

Lately, I feel I am getting all the lazy guys.  If they can’t drive 30 minutes to see me now, what kind of effort will they put into the relationship?

Where are all those guys that drove over 1 hour to see me?

oh, yeah, I remember… I didn’t like them in person. 😦

“Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic.” ― Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

The last guy that went bust, last week, after we had decided on a Friday night date, wrote me:  “You don’t mind coming to Harlem, do you?

Sure (eye rolling), I would love to go to Harlem on a Saturday night to meet someone for the first time!  I am sure there are great places in Harlem, but also scary ones too if you don’t know where you are going.

I wrote back: “Actually, I do mind.”  He never replied again.  

That was easy!  That shows his level of interest to begin with.

In the meantime, life has been so busy with work, mosaics, friends, gym again, and learning French.  Yes, I am going to parle Français once and for all.

I am not discouraged from dating.  Everything in life ebbs and flows. 

“I want to see you.

Know your voice.

Recognize you when you
first come ’round the corner.

Sense your scent when I come
into a room you’ve just left.

Know the lift of your heel,
the glide of your foot.

Become familiar with the way
you purse your lips
then let them part,
just the slightest bit,
when I lean in to your space
and kiss you.

I want to know the joy
of how you whisper
“more”
― Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi