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“No” is a complete sentence.” -― Annie Lamott

On Sunday my sister and I went to the New Rochelle Street Fair.  It was okay.  We didn’t stay long. We then walked back to R Cafe and Tea Boutique.  Miraculously, the only table outside was empty and waiting for us. It was a gorgeous breezy sunny day. 

For a second I felt like I was in Paris.  All because of the the French rattan bistro chairs and the perfect setting.  I have never been to Paris, by the way 🙂

Later in the afternoon we got foot massages.  In the evening I went to dinner to with my friend A., at Sonora Restaurant in Port Chester.  That is one of my favorite restaurants, and A. is one of my favorite people.

“Boundaries aren’t all bad. That’s why there are walls around mental institutions.” ― Peggy Noonan, Patriotic Grace: What It Is and Why We Need It Now

He lets me be.  I am the type of friend that likes her space.  I don’t want, or need, to be involved in my friend’s lives on a daily basis.  All my friends know I am here for them. If they need me, I will drop everything and be there, in body, heart and financial support.

Lately I am feeling overwhelmed by a couple of friends.  They are just too much.  Is there such a thing as “too much” between friends?  Yes, there is!  Or perhaps there is not, and these are not real friends.  Very possible!

They want to be enmeshed into my, and my sister’s life.  When a text is not replied to, then the phone calls start.  Not one or two, but multiple, in succession, to both my sister and I.  When we are available and finally able to answer, there is no emergency.  They don’t let a day go bye without reaching out.

“If you spend your life sparing people’s feelings and feeding their vanity, you get so you can’t distinguish what should be respected in them.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, Tender is the Night & The Last Tycoon

We almost feel like hostages, or worst, like there is no place to hide. And sometimes they invent excuses to just stop by, unannounced. Besides the multiple calls, there are multiple questions. Where were you?  With whom?  With a friend or a date? What are you doing tomorrow? What about next week?

We don’t want to be mean, specially since I know they went through a difficult situation recently. Which, by the way I helped them 100%.  But at this point it seems like it is a choice between our freedom to just be, or hurting them by setting boundaries. 

When put like that, it seems like a no-brainer.  I shall try, and we shall see.

“If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.” ― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No