Category Archives: Daily Message

They are yellow, but they can also be red. They love the sun, and they make my heart sing!

09 Thursday Mar 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

≈ 38 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

“All this was new to me. Life takes us by surprise and orders us to move towards the unknown – even when we don’t want to and we think we don’t need to.” ― Paulo Coelho

I arrived home yesterday and there was this huge flower box waiting for me by the door. I suspected was from M. 

 And it was.  He knows that I love sunflowers and daisies. So, to celebrate International Women’s Day he sent me 10 beautiful sunflowers.

I am so happy with his care and attention.  Everything he says and does, makes me feel not only wanted, but cherished and safe.

There is only one detail with the beautiful flowers.  Each flower should have been protected by netting, as per the description inside the box.  Because they were not, some were damaged.  I didn’t tell him that, but I want to give him a tip when ordering flowers again.

Since I have been disappointed,more than once, with 1800Flowers, I now search for a florist in the area where I am sending to.  I get a local florist and get flower arrangements done with attention and care. 

Would you say something, or just leave it alone? I don’t want to appear ungrateful.

“I have been finding treasures in places I did not want to search. I have been hearing wisdom from tongues I did not want to listen. I have been finding beauty where I did not want to look. And I have learned so much from journeys I did not want to take. Forgive me, O Gracious One; for I have been closing my ears and eyes for too long. I have learned that miracles are only called miracles because they are often witnessed by only those who can can see through all of life’s illusions. I am ready to see what really exists on other side, what exists behind the blinds, and taste all the ugly fruit instead of all that looks right, plump and ripe.” ― Suzy Kassem

Maya Angelou: Phenomenal Woman

08 Wednesday Mar 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

Happy International Women’s Day! March 8, 2023

To the phenomenal woman in you, I salute you!

Please take the day to celebrate all the beautiful women around you, international or otherwise. Tell them how much you love them, and how much better off your life is with them in it.

Chocolate and flowers are allowed.  Even recommended 😉

“Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.”
― Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman: Four Poems Celebrating Women

Always and Forever an Enigma

17 Friday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

“You might question a winkle – a feeling that came to you right out of the blue – but you didn’t question knowing.” ― Stephen King

I wrote this post last week. I was not sure I was going to post it.

Last night as I was in bed drifting off to sleep, out of the blue, Enigma came to mind.  He is the guy I mentioned in these posts from November 2020:

Finally the date with The Enigma happens

Say What?

I immediately got up and went to Google.  I don’t like to check on people I have dated.  I feel that every time I look back, it prevents me from embracing my present and future. Every time I look back it sets me back.

But this time, I didn’t stop to think if I was going to look back or not.  I had to do it.  It was already midnight, I was tired, and had to wake up early the next morning. Still, I had to do it.  I had to look him up.

“There’s always someone who knows something.” ― Stephen King

It had been over 2 years; I couldn’t remember the exact spelling of his last name.  I spend a long time just googling whatever I could think of.  Searching phone numbers was useless. On the brief time we interacted he changed numbers 3 times.

Then I started attaching the names of towns I thought he lived at to different last names.  After a couple of hours…yes, that is how long it took me.  I wouldn’t give up.  I become a dog with a bone any time I want to try to find any information.

Then I found his obituary!!

He passed away in September.  I was shocked, and yet not surprised… if that makes any sense to you.  It was shocking because he was so young – he was a month shy of 50 years old.  I was not surprised because there was always a lot danger in the stories he told me.  It seemed to me he was reckless when it came to his well being. It is difficult to describe him.

Now, the next step was to find out how he died.  And that is where Miss Can Find Anything on the Internet came up empty handed.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

There was nothing, not a hint, not a clue.  In the obituary/memorial site there were only 7 comments, and they were all about what a great person he was and words of comfort to his family.

I then was able to find his ex-wife’s Facebook.  There were 154 comments on her post of his passing.  There was not a single hint from the post or the comments as to how he passed.

For some reason I suspect that it had something to do with the war in Ukraine.  He had mentioned his involvement with a private military company in Russia.  He mentioned that was scheduled to go and do some work overseas for them.  I don’t want to reveal the name of the company here and some other details.

I don’t know if all he told me was true or not. Or perhaps it was make believe.  I don’t know, and probably never will.  He will remain an Enigma to me.  So gentle and caring, a teacher and volunteer; and then there was this other side that seemed incredibly dangerous and reckless.

TCM, I believe in your kindness and good heart.  I hope that you have found peace and contentment where you are.  Thank you for our brief encounter, flowers and the book!

(I still have the little purple flowers that he gave me on our date.  I dried them and kept them in a vase on my counter in my bathroom.  I am not sure why I did that.  I never kept any flowers from any date – something about not wanting to think of them)

“When he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.”
― William Shakespeare

Show it, don’t say it!!

14 Tuesday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

HAPPY VALENTINES EVERYONE!!

“The deeds you do may be the only sermon some persons will hear today” –― St. Francis Of Assisi

Yesterday, as I was walking to work, I see a man turn a corner, running and screaming towards a school bus. A little boy of around 6 years of age is running behind him.

He is screaming at the top of his lungs at the bus driver while waving his phone.  He is yelling: “7:14 now, not 7:15.”   I am guessing the bus is supposed to leave at 7:15am, and it was leaving a minute early.

I recognize the boy.  I always see him standing with his mother at the corner.  I notice them because the mother is always speaking Portuguese to him.  I assume she is Brazilian. I think to myself: The mother manages to be there early everyday.

“Knowing when to fight is just as important as knowing how.” ― Terry Goodkind, Faith of the Fallen

This man is so furious, it is scary.  I am hyper alert now, thinking that I may have to end up calling the police.  Confrontations such as these always terrifies me.  When people can’t control their temper, anything can happen.

I, and some others walking by, slowed down to watch this unfold.

I am glad the female bus driver didn’t engage. I see that she attempted to say something but he was too loud and too furious to hear anything, so she gave up.

The boy got in the bus and walked to his seat.  The driver closed the bus door and proceeded to leave.  The man, still mumbling some choice words, walks along the bus to where the boy was sitting.  He hits on the window, waves and yells “I love you” to the boy.

“Instruction is good for a child; but example is worth more.” – ― Alexandre Dumas, Twenty Years After

Is he serious?  After such a neanderthal display, he thinks that saying I love you will erase how he just behaved.  Or perhaps, even worst, he didn’t even realize what he just did.

He may or may not have been right about the bus schedule, but nothing gives him the right to act in such a way.  Doesn’t he realize the scene he caused? Doesn’t he realize what he is teaching his child?

Is he that way inside his home? With the wife? With the kid?  I cannot picture this man being able to have a civil disagreement.

So many men, and women, are so ill prepared to be parents. Actually, so many people seem ill-prepared to live in society.

“If behavior is contagious, is yours worth catching?” ― Frank Sonnenberg, The Path to a Meaningful Life

I understand the aggravations of the day to day.  I understand bad mornings, but have a little more control of yourself, for the sake of your child and everyone in earshot.

I wish I would have said something, but I was afraid.  This man was so mad it looked like he was going to punch someone.  I am not about to risk my life, unless I really have to.

Parents, don’t just say I love you, show it.  Show love by the way you interact with others.  Show love by respecting others.  The children are our future, we can’t afford to have them think that this is acceptable behavior.

I know I am being judgmental, but watching this yesterday morning really shook me.  This man disturbed my peace, and that of others around.  I felt for the driver.  I also made me realize how easy  “I love yous” are thrown around as bandaids, pacifiers, rewards, weapons, etc.”

“Peace does not mean an absence of conflicts; differences will always be there. Peace means solving these differences through peaceful means; through dialogue, education, knowledge; and through humane ways.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

A healer, a guru and a medium walk into a bar…

12 Sunday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, documentaries

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

“The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.” ―Mahatma Gandhi

I have been watching documentaries while walking on a treadmill in the mornings and at lunch time.

Here is a quick summary of some of what I have seen lately:

Mucho mucho Amor – The Legend of Walter Mercado – This brought me back to the first time I had seen him on TV – so outrageous, so out there. He was so exuberant and positive while discussing astrology.  He mentioned his mother encouraged him to be himself, to be different and follow his passions.  What a wonderful advice a mother can give her child! He was so ahead of his time, always marching to the beat of his own drum. Unfortunately he was too trusting and was taken advantage of. 

“The measure of a man is what he does with power.” ― Plato

The Deep End – This is the story of Teal Swan, a self proclaimed spiritual leader. I hadn’t heard about her before, but she has been around since 2011. I started watching it, excited to learn about some new spiritual teachings. All I learned is that she seems to be a dangerous narcissist, more interested in becoming a millionaire cult leader than in actually helping people.  She preys on the weak minded and the sick, the most vulnerable ones in our society.  In the end it was all just disturbing, specially in how she treated those around her.

“Power resides only where men believe it resides. […] A shadow on the wall, yet shadows can kill. And ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

Brikam – Yogi, Guru, Predator – This was about a celebrity yoga guru from 20 years ago. He amassed a huge following that was so quick to buy into his cure-all proclamations. People were willing to be yelled at and demeaned. So many predators hide behind spiritual practices.  It is scary that everyone is so quick to follow the latest guru, the next cure. Yoga should be aligned with the spiritual side, a whole mind-body experience, but many were just interested in being part of the latest new thing. 

“When it comes to controlling human beings there is no better instrument than lies. Because, you see, humans live by beliefs. And beliefs can be manipulated. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts.” ― Michael Ende, The Neverending Story

John of God – The Crimes of a Spiritual Healer – This is the story of a healer that was internationally known, and later was revealed to be a sexual abuser and predator. I didn’t want this story to be true; not because he is Brazilian like me, but because I do believe in mediums and in spiritual surgeries. When something like this happens, it discredits the good mediums, doing work for the right reasons.  

I have gone with my father to one of those mediums in Brazil. I went to the IMA – Instituto Medicina do Alem (Medical Institute of the Beyond). I know it can work. I do feel for the women that were abused and I am glad that the abuses came to light.

Except for Walter Mercado, the others are mixture of charlatans, abusers and predators. Did they start out that way, or did they actually had good intentions at the beginning? Did money and fame corrupted them? I want to believe in the goodness of people, but also want to believe that good and love can’t ever be corrupted.

This is a reminder for me not to follow the crowd without doing my own research and drawing with my own conclusions. We need to always follow our gut and intuition. If something feels wrong, then act on it, and speak up! Don’t be a follower!

“Anger … it’s a paralyzing emotion … you can’t get anything done. People sort of think it’s an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don’t think it’s any of that — it’s helpless … it’s absence of control — and I need all of my skills, all of the control, all of my powers … and anger doesn’t provide any of that — I have no use for it whatsoever.” [Interview with CBS radio host Don Swaim, September 15, 1987.]” ― Toni Morrison

Life is as beautiful and fragile as a multicolored glass vase

09 Thursday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Message, Finding Me

≈ 49 Comments

Tags

, , ,

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” ― Seneca

To all that sent good issues to my brother, I thank you so much.  All the good wishes and prayers worked.  I am happy to report that he is doing much better.

Here is my latest project.  I keep trying different materials and projects, to eventually find my voice.  Perhaps I don’t have one specific voice.

This vase looks great on a window with the sun hitting it from behind.  I took the pictures at night, so I added a light to achieve the same effect.

   

“Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8 color boxes, but what you’re really looking for are the 64 color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64 color box, though I’ve got a few missing. It’s okay though, because I’ve got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8 color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation. So when I meet someone who’s an 8 color type…I’m like, hey girl, Magenta! and she’s like, oh, you mean purple! and she goes off on her purple thing, and I’m like, no I want Magenta!” ― John Mayer

All about Me, Myself and I

07 Tuesday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

≈ 29 Comments

Tags

, , , , ,

“In daily life we experience suffering more often than pleasure. If we are patient, in the sense of taking suffering voluntarily upon ourselves, even if we are not capable of doing this physically, then we will not lose our capacity for judgement. We should remember that if a situation cannot be changed, there is no point in worrying about it. If it can be changed, then there is no need to worry about it either, we should simply go about changing it.”
― Dalai Lama XIV, Dalai Lama’s Little Book of Inner Peace: The Essential Life and Teachings

Hello, I hope you all had an amazing weekend!

For the last few days, I have been dealing with feelings of powerlessness.

Family far away. I found out on Saturday that my brother has COVID.  My brother takes care of my older parents.

So many thoughts.  What if my brother gets so ill and has to go to the hospital?  What if my parents get it?

It is the type of situation that I wish I could get on a plane and get there asap.  But I can’t.  It is not that simple.  I have my tickets to Brazil already bought, but they are for April.

Fortunately, from Saturday until now, he is doing much better. So far, my parents haven’t contracted it.

It is so hard to live far away and not be able to just go and be with them.  I should be used to that situation already, after living in the US for the past 39 years.

Canceled date. I was going on a date on Sunday and my date canceled.  He also contracted COVID.  I was looking forward to that date.  Not because I thought we were such a good match, but because he seemed so intelligent and I imagined great conversations.  I no longer focus on the future of a date, I focus on the moment.

He wanted to talk on the phone until he recovers, I said no.  I am not sure why.  I keep going with my gut on the phone situation.  Sometimes I will give my number and talk on the phone, while other times I insist on meeting in person first.

Two people I know in 2 separate parts of the world getting Covid is to me such a reminder that Covid is not only still around, but it is here to stay.  We just need to learn to deal with it.

Cold sores.  I have never had a mouth/cold sore until last week.  I am glad it was small and not too unsightly.  This morning, it seems, I may be getting another one.  I am blaming it on the stress of work in the last months.  Stress and a possible weak immune system.  I have relaxed a bit on all I was doing to take care of myself.

It is all common sense the items on my list below, but it is so easy to relax a bit, and all of a sudden all I am doing is eating cake and watching Netflix.

So, starting now, I am focusing on:

  • Eating well. I do eat well, but 2 words: Less sugar!!
  • Sleeping well. Get to bed before 11pm.
  • Take Vitamin C. I take plenty of vitamins and supplements, but I just realized that I haven’t taken vitamin C in months.
  • Exercise more intentionally.  I walk on a treadmill every day, sometimes twice a day.  Every now and then I do some light weight training. I need to follow a program and a set of exercises.
  • Meditate (or just sit still). It does wonders for me when I take some time out of my day to just be still.

I am disappointed that I didn’t handle these feelings of powerlessness better.   I have read so much, experienced so much, wrote so much about it.  I should be a master at dealing with situations which I have no control of, by now.  This is another reminder that some lessons are never done.  We are constantly being tested.

I am disappointed when I realized that I had been putting myself and my well-being last. Work has been first for so long.  First with my assistant our for 3 months, then the audit for 6 months.  There was hardly any time for me in there.  2022 was very tough on me and my psyche.

The rest of 2023 will be all about me! ME! ME! ME!

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” ― The Dalai Lama

 

Everything works out in the end, if it hasn’t… just be patient

03 Friday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Happy Friday everyone!

I am sorry about all the issues that some of you are having trying to reach my blog.  I hear you and I have been attempting to fix it.  I suspect things will get worse before they get better, so please hang in there.

I have also been experiencing issues while visiting some of you. I like or comment a post, and at that moment it shows.  If I refresh the page or go back to the post, it is no longer there.

I emailed WordPress and I am waiting on their response.   Please be patient with me and my blog.

And on the topic of patience, that is the always current lesson in my life.  I struggle with it; I fight with it.  It always fights back, and it always win.  Time and time again I realize that things are not on my timing.  I have to respect that, and get in line.

“A warrior of the Light is never in a hurry.
Time works in his favor; he learns to master his impatience and avoids acting without thinking.” ― Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light

Good news: Yesterday we had our audit exit interview.  It went well, no major findings.  They will be sending an official letter in the next few days.  Once we get the letter, we will have 10 days to reply.  I will probably have to write a couple of pages regarding the findings and corrections necessaries, but it shouldn’t be too bad.

And that should be the end of it.  Well, until we hear from them again.  We have been audited by our industry regulators in 2015, 2019, and 2022. The last one, ending now, after 6 months.

I still have plenty of other work to do, but not having auditors hanging over my head, never knowing when more questions are coming, is such a relief.

I found the writing below and it seems to have been written for an Aries (it fits me to a T). If anyone knows the author, please let me know so I can give it credit.

“Prayer of an Anonymous Abbess:

Lord, thou knowest better than myself that I am growing older and will soon be old. Keep me from becoming too talkative, and especially from the unfortunate habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and at every opportunity.

Release me from the idea that I must straighten out other peoples’ affairs. With my immense treasure of experience and wisdom, it seems a pity not to let everybody partake of it. But thou knowest, Lord, that in the end I will need a few friends.

Keep me from the recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point.

Grant me the patience to listen to the complaints of others; help me to endure them with charity. But seal my lips on my own aches and pains — they increase with the increasing years and my inclination to recount them is also increasing.

I will not ask thee for improved memory, only for a little more humility and less self-assurance when my own memory doesn’t agree with that of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be wrong.

Keep me reasonably gentle. I do not have the ambition to become a saint — it is so hard to live with some of them — but a harsh old person is one of the devil’s masterpieces.

Make me sympathetic without being sentimental, helpful but not bossy. Let me discover merits where I had not expected them, and talents in people whom I had not thought to possess any. And, Lord, give me the grace to tell them so.

Amen”
― Anonymous

Have a blessed weekend!

April and May 2022 – Dream and Doom

19 Thursday Jan 2023

Posted by in Daily Message, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

“There’a a phrase, “the elephant in the living room”, which purports to describe what it’s like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, “How could you let such a business go on for so many years? Didn’t you see the elephant in the living room?” And it’s so hard for anyone living in a more normal situation to understand the answer that comes closest to the truth; “I’m sorry, but it was there when I moved in. I didn’t know it was an elephant; I thought it was part of the furniture.” There comes an aha-moment for some folks – the lucky ones – when they suddenly recognize the difference.” ― Stephen King

Continuing my recap of last year, here is April and May. I will focus on my relationship with B., which was the main theme of those months. (to read in detail, go to Archives)

Towards the end of March and beginning of April, B. and I met several times. He was kind and had flowers for me every time we saw each other. But there were times where we weren’t really in tune. He kept pushing to see me more often.  He was showing a possessive and insecure side.

In April I went to Brazil to see my family and bring my mom to the US for her biannual visit.

While in Brazil, I spoke to B. every night.  I wanted to pacify him. We grew closer and couldn’t wait to see each other.  This relationship was looking more and more like the love story I have been looking for.  He was again acting insecure and possessive on the phone, but I was blinded by the potential.

He would frame some outbursts as done out of loving me so much and didn’t want to get hurt if I was not as serious about the relationship as he was.

When I returned to the US, on April 19, things didn’t go as I had hoped.  I had mentioned to B. that my time was going to be limited because of my mom’s visit.  He said he understood it, but he kept complaining about not seeing me enough.

When we were together, he would say the right things, give me flowers and apologize for being demanding of my time.  When we were apart, he would fire off texts showing a possessive and insecure side that was not attractive at all.

There was one date, for our 2-month anniversary, that I acted like a baby.  I think it was already my gut, my instincts rebelling against this relationship.

Twice I had said to him that some of the texts he sent while angry were not acceptable. I told him that this push-pull behavior made me feel like I was being emotionally abused. He was shocked to hear that, apologized and promised to be more thoughtful before sending another one of those texts.

 “I am stuffing your mouth with your
promises and watching
you vomit them out upon my face.”
― Anne Sexton

Then, the day before I was to leave to Brazil to take my mom back, he got upset.  We had already said good bye with a dinner, but he wanted to see me one more time.  I changed my schedule a couple of times to see him again, but when there was another change, I said I couldn’t make it.  He then sent me a text calling me an a-hole.  Shock is not even the word to describe my feelings when I read that. He sent a couple of apologies in messenger and WhatsApp.  I didn’t reply and blocked him on both.

I will not be called names, specially by someone that supposedly loves me.  It is unacceptable to me.   I feel I dodged a bullet.  His demanding behavior and possessiveness kept getting worse.  His insecurity and fear of getting hurt always got the best of him. But that is no excuse.  A grown man should know how to behave, or seek help.

Had he not called me an a-hole, I would probably still be in that relationship.  Still trying to make it work, because it seemed so right sometimes.  I fell for the flowers and the potential.

I am glad I was leaving for Brazil the following day.  Being far away made it easier to not be tempted to give him yet another chance.  I was too busy with my family to think about him.  Well, I did think about him, but it made it easier to distract my mind.

Now, almost a year later, I am happy that I got out of that relationship relatively fast.  Had I stayed in it longer I can only imagine how it would destroy my mind and well-being.  Looking back there were so many issues, signs, offensive words disguised as “loving too much”.  There were so many things I ignored because it seemed so promising.

I remember when I wrote about it last year. I was embarrassed, and still in doubt about using the word “abuse”.  But it felt in my gut, it was in all the little words that hit me like a knife, and also in the beautiful flowers that made me smile.  At the end of conversations I was spent and questioning my sanity.  Yes, it was abuse and I am glad to be far from it, and to now be better able to recognize it.  Abuse comes in all forms.

My sister had already recognized it.  I would tell her about the dates. There were a couple of times that I remember her saying: “I am afraid of you going to his house.  He is unstable.” I thought she was overreacting.  I pacified her, and said that he would never physically hurt me.

Lesson learned:  Don’t ignore the red flags and your gut.  If someone is acting in a way that you think it is harmful to our mental health, don’t hang around.  Situations and actions escalate.  If you wonder if you are being mentally abused, you are! Run!

“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.” ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

 

Friends, Food, Fun and a Dog!

11 Wednesday Jan 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

≈ 42 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

On Saturday evening, my sister and I went to dinner at a friend’s house. She is married and has 2 kids.  The boy is 16 years old and the girl 14 years old. I remember when the boy was a toddler.  He was a little terror.  I  thought he would grow up the same way.

How wrong I was! These two are the best kids ever.  The whole time we were there not once I saw either kid with a cell phone.  They were talking to us, helping with dinner, playing with the dog. Such a pleasure!  We don’t see them often but every time we do, it is the same way.

The least well-behaved person was the husband.  I am kidding, but he is so stubborn and can be a bit of a know-it-all. It is often hard to have a conversation. At times I would just agree with whatever he was saying because it was just easier this way.  I blame it on him being an Aries.  I am an Aries, so I know I can be that way sometimes.  Still, he was and has always been a very nice host.

“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
― G.K. Chesterton

To drink we had sparkling wine.  The sushi looked great, as you can see by the picture below, but since I don’t eat sushi I had tacos and all the trimmings.  For dessert we brought over a delicious strawberry shortcake from a French bakery I like.  My friend also served cherry pie. All was delicious.

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

It was our first time seeing their dog.  Her name is Nela and she is only 6 months.  Since she is just a child, she is a just a big bundle of energy. I wish I lived in a house with a yard, I would definitely have my own Nela.

 “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” ― Josh Billings

It was an awesome night. We always promise to see more of each other but for some reason, we don’t. It seems it is always an once a year thing.

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” ― C.S. Lewis