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alone on Valentine's Day, loving yourself, single and hating it, single and loving it, Valentine's Day
“You may be lonely in St. Valentine’s Day, but you must know that love is like an air, it is everywhere! You shall find it in any day and anywhere!” – Mehmet Murat Ildan
I was talking to my sister about Valentine’s Day. She just started living in the US this year so the concept of Valentine’s Day is new to her. In Brazil we have Dia dos Namorados, which is often translated as Lover’s Day, but literally means Day of Boyfriend/Girlfriend. It is on June 12 and it is meant only for people that are in a romantic relationship.
I said to her that I wanted to write a post about Valentine’s Day, but I didn’t want to write one of those posts about dating and loving yourself. She said: Write about that. Write about not wanting to write about that.
So here it is: I will not write about dating and loving myself on this Valentine’s Day. I feel it is somewhat expected that someone so positive and single like me would write something like that.
I don’t want to tout here that if you are single you should be loving and dating yourself today. You should be loving yourself every day. If you don’t, start now and every day going forward. Don’t wait until Valentine’s Day to realize that you can have fun by yourself and treat yourself.
If you can’t first love yourself you will never be ready to love someone else and you will never attract good loving people into your life.
My truth is that I want a boyfriend and I wish I had one today and every day.
No, I am not depressed or feeling sad. I am actually very happy with the way my life is right now. Things are the way they are supposed to be. I have to be and I am ok with not having a boyfriend at the moment because I know the right person will eventually come. There is no need to rush things or to be with the wrong person. Given a choice of alone or with the wrong person, I will take alone any day.
I love myself but I don’t want to date myself, especially on Valentine’s Day. I am not going to fool myself with special treats. I don’t need that. I already treat myself often. I get myself flowers every week, I get massages, I get chocolates (too often), I go to dinners, etc, any time my heart desires. Yes, I do spoil myself. I don’t deprive myself of anything I really want.
If I made a point of doing anything special today to me it would be a charade. I don’t want to come up with some gimmicky ploy to feel better on Valentine’s Day. It is what it is, and it is perfectly okay to be alone.
Being single is okay. Being single and happy is great. Being single, happy and wanting not to be single is okay too. I much rather be in a loving relationship and celebrate it with that person than being single today and any other day.
My boyfriend for now is still a thought in my mind, a song in my heart, a twinkle in my eye, a rainbow in the sky. He will come. I have faith. If he doesn’t it is okay but I will not sit here and pretend that today, of all days, I don’t wish he was already here.
On a second thought, how about going out of your way to send love to someone else that is alone today?
Thinking of love and the love that will eventually come I leave everyone with these awesome words by another one of my favorite poets: Kahlil Gibran.
When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard and steep. And when
his wings enfold you, yield to him, though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him, though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, so shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; and then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.
But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor
would it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God. And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy.
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
― Kahlil Gibran, Le Prophète
