Author Archives: A Star on the Forehead

My handiwork and the flirty older man

23 Tuesday Jun 2020

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“This is the real secret of life — to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play.” ― Alan Watts

On Saturday I had to go into work to meet a couple of contractors, one to deal with some computer issues and one to measure the curtains.

They both showed on time and did what they needed to do.  Actually, the tech guy came, did his job and left.   The curtain guy seemed to want to stick around.

The curtain installer came to remeasure the rolling shades I am ordering for the office. He measured them, explained to me why I needed to go with the original measurements and kept talking.  I walked him to the door and he didn’t seem to want to leave.

“All right,” Roland said. “Rudeness is forgivable, Blaine; so I was taught in my youth, and the clay has dried in the shapes left by the artist’s hand. But I was also taught that stupidity is not.” ― Stephen King, The Waste Lands

It reminded of being in Brazil.  When guests leave your home in Brazil you normally escort them to the door and talk for awhile being they get into the car and leave.  Sometimes one stays another hour at door talking before the guests finally leaves. And you have to make sure to wait till the car is leaving, wave good bye and then go back inside.  It is considered rude to go inside before the car leaves.

Anyway, the curtain guy is a nice older man but I think that he was mistaking my friendliness for interest.  I think he was trying to flirt with me.  I definitely didn’t want to give him the wrong impression by being too nice, but at the same time I am incapable of being rude.  He thinks I am married and I made sure not to correct him.   

Finally I said I had to get back to my work in the kitchen, which I did; and he left.  

“Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. ” ― William James

I have been in this new office working alone and already I could see droplets of coffee on the wall behind the sink and coffeemaker so I decided I needed to have a back-splash installed before the employees came back to work.

I was going to use real tiles and make it lively and fun but I decided that at this point I just don’t have the time to dedicated to that.  I just need to get the office ready for when everyone start returning in next few weeks.  In the end I just went with the easy, fast and cheap route: peel and stick tiles.

“Why is patience so important?”
“Because it makes us pay attention.” ― Paulo Coelho

I have no patience to follow directions, but realized once again that I should have done so.  There were the instructions that came on the package, there were detailed reviews with additional instructions and also YouTube videos with additional tips, but I disregarded them all and did it my way.  

While I wish I had paid more attention to the instructions I am very happy with the result.  The imperfections are small and I don’t think anyone will notice them if I don’t point them out.  Next time I will follow directions, but for my tiny office kitchen this is perfect!

“If people knew how hard I had to work to gain my mastery, it would not seem so wonderful at all.” ― Michelangelo Buonarroti

The dizziness is speaking, I better listen

20 Saturday Jun 2020

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I was almost 100% better when all of a sudden some of the dizziness came back.  Now I know for sure that it is somehow related to stress.  Wednesday was a day beyond stressful, and the dizziness came back immediately.  Now I experience it sporadically throughout the day. 

I didn’t return to the doctor today as it was scheduled.  I didn’t see the point of going back to an ENT when he didn’t find anything wrong the first time.  If anything I rather go to a neurologist.  But for now my plan of action is to work on how to better deal with stress. 

I will write more about it on the next post as I am short on time and I want to make sure I am get enough sleep.  For now I will leave you with a beautiful prayer. 

My Lord, help me to tell the truth in front of strong people
and not to lie to obtain the applause of the weak ones.
If you give me fortune, do not take away my reasoning.
If you give me success, do not take away my humility.
If you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.
Always help me to see the other side of the coin.
Don’t let me blame others of betrayal just because they don’t think just as I do.
God, teach me to love people as I love myself and to judge me as I judge others.
Please, don’t let me be proud if I succeed, or fall in despair if I fail.
Rather remind me that failure is the experience that precedes triumph.
Teach me that forgiveness is a sign of strength and revenge is a sign of weakness.
If you take success from me, give me encouragement to learn from failure.
If I ever offend people, give me courage to apologize to them.
If people offend me, give me the ability to forgive them.
Lord, if I ever forget you please forgive me and never forget me.

― Mahatma Gandhi

50% damaged, but 100% blessed and amazing

15 Monday Jun 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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“Peace begins
When expectation ends.”
― Sri Chinmoy, Perfection and Transcendence

It is always the same story for me when it comes to doctor visits.  I am always so hopeful before I go, and then so disappointed in the end.   

I expect to get answers and a proposed plan of action, but normally end up with just maybes. I expect validation of my feelings and symptoms, and end up feeling like it was all in my mind or the issue so minor that it was all a waste of time.  

“He wondered, with some annoyance, whether he would finally learn what he wanted to know, or if he would have in the end to content himself with what he already knew. He felt that, at his age, patience was ceasing to be a virtue and was becoming a luxury he could less and less afford.”― Romain Gary,  The Roots of Heaven

On Friday I went to an ENT to talk about my vertigo symptoms.  Conveniently for me there is one right in my office building. 

I was given an hearing test and then saw the doctor.  According to the doctor I have some, very minor hearing loss on the right ear.  Nothing to worry about it and nothing to do about it, as there is no nerve damage. It is not related to the dizziness that I have been feeling either.

I explained that even though I am still wobbly in the mornings I am 90% better by now.  Still I would like to discover the cause of it.  He said that this is the type of situation that is very hard to diagnose.  Guessing game here we go. 

Last time I had vertigo, about a year ago, my primary doctor instructed me to take allergy pills.  According to him the cause is often nasal congestion, even though I didn’t feel congested at all and don’t fee it now.

“The most exquisite pleasure in the practice of medicine comes from nudging a layman in the direction of terror, then bringing him back to safety again.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

This time I took allergy pills a couple of times and also motion sickness medication.  They seemed to help a little. 

The doctor said he would try something.  He lowered the table while I sitting up straight, then he pushed me back really fast.  It was uncomfortable but okay.  Had that been done on prior days I would probably pass out from the dizziness.

He said that because I had taken the medications they were probably suppressing the symptoms. I mentioned that I had only taken it a couple of times and the last time it was a day ago, but he said that still would interfere.    

He asked me not to take any more medication and return in one week. I asked:  “Should I still come back if by then I have no more symptoms? The symptoms are almost all gone by now.”

He said he still wants to see me anyway.  I said okay, but now that I think about it, what is the point? I am not sure I will go back if there aren’t any symptoms.  I don’t see the point.

“The doctor arrived towards dinnertime and said, of course, that although recurring phenomena might well elicit apprehension, nonetheless there was, strictly speaking, no positive indication, yet since neither was there any contraindication, it might, on the one hand, be supposed, but on the other hand it might also be supposed. And it was therefore necessary to stay in bed, and although I don’t like prescribing, nevertheless take this and stay in bed.”― Leo Tolstoy,  The Devil

Today, Sunday, I feel 95% better. We shall see how I feel by Friday when I have the follow up appointment.

I understand that I am not being  realistic in my expectations every time I see a doctor.  He is only human and not a miracle worker.

Moving on from this topic, I have one curiosity.  Is everyone more prone to have physical issues on one side of their body versus the other? All my problems are on my right side.  Is that because I am right handed and perhaps use and overuse more my right side?

These are my issues:

  • Right wrist.  I was developing carpal tunnel on my right wrist.  I now use the mouse on the left hand and all is fine.
  • Right hip. I have bursitis, arthritis and a tiny tear on my right hip.  I got used to living with the pain.
  • Right clavicle.  I have Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS) on my right clavicle.
  • Right eye.  Every now and then I have a sharp pain in the back of the right eye accompanied with some redness. I have a check up every year by a specialist and he says it is nothing.
  • Right ear.  And now I have been told that I have a minor hearing loss on the right ear.

Is there a spiritual meaning to that? I think there is a spiritual meaning to everything, so perhaps someone can enlighten me.  Why is my right side crying for attention and help?

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” -― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Gosh, I made myself sound so physically damaged 😦 Still I feel like I am only 25 years old.  That is, when the room is not spinning.

 

 

 

Wobbling my way through the day

09 Tuesday Jun 2020

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Pachira Aquatica (money tree)-legend has it that it brings wealth. I bought for the new office.

“The most poetical thing in the world is not being sick.”
― G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare

Thank you everyone for the get-well-soon wishes.  I am feeling much better now.  I still wake up wobbly.  It takes awhile to get going, but by the afternoon I am feeling more steady on my feet.

On the day when this vertigo crisis started I woke up with a long list of things to do.  Most of it had to do with getting my new office up and running.

All of a sudden, all the deadlines, the reports I had to hand in, the calls I had to make, all the deliveries I had to meet, it all took a back seat to me just being able to stand up.

In the afternoon I walked to the office, with some steps wobblier than others.  Next time I see people not steady on their feet I will never again assume that they are drunk or on drugs.  They could be afflicted with vertigo, like me, or some other condition that affects their balance.

“You need to spend time crawling alone through shadows to truly appreciate what it is to stand in the sun.” – Shaun Hick

Not feeling well puts everything in perspective.

Humbling. Getting sick and not feeling well is humbling.  The world hasn’t stopped.  All is moving as it should. I am meaningless.  It does show me that the world doesn’t revolve around me. I am no longer the one that can get it all done.

How can I continue to be wonder woman if I can’t even stand up and walk straight?

Vulnerable. I am not invincible.  No one is. Having my body not respond as I want and expect is scary. Is wobbly my new normal? Feeling ill makes me look at being healthy in a different light. Being healthy is a necessity, not a luxury.

Liberating. All of a sudden I am free from all that NEEDED to be done and all I WANTED to get done.  There is nothing more important in the world then getting well and feeling better.  All rest will have to wait.

Control and Acceptance. Feeling ill reinforces the idea that I, as a human being, am not in control of anything.  The only thing that I can possibly try to control is my actions and reactions.  I accept my powerlessness at this moment.  I accept I am not 100%.

Reflection. Feeling ill and unable to do anything other than just lay there looking up at the ceiling is the perfect time for reflection. To reflect about the world and my role in it. To reflect about the lessons, as I am sure there are many being taught me now.  I can’t miss them.

Planning. It is also a perfect time for planning.  Because, of course, any time I don’t feel well, the first thing I dream of doing when I am better is conquering the world. Don’t you? I have this overwhelming feeling that I wasted precious healthy time.  That I didn’t do enough or as much as I should have. Therefore it gives me a renewed sense of purpose and urgency.

Gratitude.  Waking up every morning is a blessing and waking up healthier is even more so.  Not only the next day is not a guarantee, that we will be feeling well the next day is a gamble also.  I am being taught to appreciate every single moment and get busy living and doing all I can while I can.

I am grateful for the vertigo for slowing me down for awhile so I can come back with a faster gear and new resolve.

“I didn’t expect to recover from my second operation but since I did, I consider that I’m living on borrowed time. Every day that dawns is a gift to me and I take it in that way. I accept it gratefully without looking beyond it. I completely forget my physical suffering and all the unpleasantness of my present condition and I think only of the joy of seeing the sun rise once more and of being able to work a little bit, even under difficult conditions.”
― Henri Matisse

May we all get better in body, mind and soul

05 Friday Jun 2020

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For the last couple of days I have been suffering with vertigo, so all has taken a back seat until I feel steady on my feet again.  What was urgent now has to wait.

May you and your loved ones all find peace and joy this weekend! Blessings ♥♥

I found this prayer and wanted to share:

“May all beings everywhere
Plagued by sufferings of body and mind
Obtain an ocean of happiness and joy
By virtue of my merits.

May no living creature suffer,
Commit evil, or ever fall ill.
May no one be afraid or belittled,
With a mind weighed down by depression.

May the blind see forms
And the deaf hear sounds,
May those whose bodies are worn with toil
Be restored on finding repose.

May the naked find clothing,
The hungry find food;
May the thirsty find water
And delicious drinks.

May the poor find wealth,
Those weak with sorrow find joy;
May the forlorn find hope,
Constant happiness, and prosperity.

May there be timely rains
And bountiful harvests;
May all medicines be effective
And wholesome prayers bear fruit.

May all who are sick and ill
Quickly be freed from their ailments.
Whatever diseases there are in the world,
May they never occur again.

May the frightened cease to be afraid
And those bound be freed;
May the powerless find power,
And may people think of benefiting each other.

For as long as space remains,
For as long as sentient beings remain,
Until then may I too remain
To dispel the miseries of the world.”

-Dalai Lama, Prayer from Shantideva’s Way of the Bodhisattva

 

Love is the answer to every question

03 Wednesday Jun 2020

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I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.- Martin Luther King Jr.

Everyone is hurting.  Can we just stop this hurting and chaos?  Destruction and violence is never justifiable in my opinion.  What happened to respect? We are destroying each other.  We are destroying Mother Earth and everything in it.

Is this the kind of world that we want to leave behind?  Is this the legacy we want to leave our children?

Why is all this going on? Is it because some people think that their color, their race, their gender, their religion, their possessions are superior than that of his/her neighbor? And because of that they think they have more rights and less obligations?

Anytime you think you are better than somebody else you lose.  As Teddy Roosevelt said “Comparison is the killer of joy.” 

No one has more rights then his/her neighbor.  We all have the right to breathe and enjoy life free of persecution and fear.  We have the obligation to not interfere with somebody else’s right to live free.

“Judgment…is one of the ego’s tools to foster separation through comparison.”― Peter Santos

We are all travelers in this road called life.  Everyone is fighting some kind of battle.  Let’s not be judge and jury and guardians of the truth.  Let’s be messengers of peace, delivery people of goodness and love.

When I think about the meaning of life I think of it very simply.  I think of making someone smile.  I think of helping others.  I think of making memories.  There is no room in any of that for hate and violence.

“That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.”― Aldous Huxley

What about the COVID19? I thought it had come about to teach us the huge lesson that we are all the same. The virus didn’t discriminate.  We were, and still are, forced to be apart…everyone starving for a hug from a loved one.

What about the big plans we had of being kinder to each other? Did we already forget?

It all starts right here with each one of us.  It starts at home and how we raise our children and how we treat our neighbors. Will we ever learn that we need to embrace and protect each other?  that we need to embrace and protect our families and communities?  We all just hunger to feel safe and protected.

“The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”― Maya Angelou

Let’s stop this craziness!  Let’s stop the stupidity! Choose love now and always! It shouldn’t be that hard.

It feels silly writing about something that should be so obvious:  Let’s all follow The Golden Rule.  Let’s treat each other as we want to be treated.  Let’s treat each other’s property as if it were our own.

Stop promoting violence in name of justice. Looting and riots have no place in the fight for equality. It only hurts, destroys and spreads fear.

Let’s treat Mother Earth as if it was our home and every human being as if he was my brother and sister!  oh wait, it is, and they are!

“Dare to Be

When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.

When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.

When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.

When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.

When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.

When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.

When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.

When times are tough, dare to be tougher.

When love hurts you, dare to love again.

When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.

When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.

When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.

When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.

When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.

When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.

Dare to be the best you can –

At all times, Dare to be!”
― Steve Maraboli

My brother is your brother

31 Sunday May 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”― Nelson Mandela

I hurt for George Floyd’s family.  May his soul rest in peace, and may God comfort his family.

I am at a loss for words, and I am sure I am not the only one.  My heart and soul hurts.  Why can’t we all just live in peace? Yes, I know that it is naive of me, but I dare to still dream.

Discrimination and prejudice is alive and well in the US, as well as in Brazil.  Instead of progress in the race for equality it seems we have taken huge leaps backwards.  Specially now that we have presidents that made it okay to be racist and to discriminate.  I say presidents because our Brazilian president, Bolsonaro, is just the tropical version of Trump. 

I don’t want to assign blame and point fingers, but I think I am entitled to have expectations of the president of a country.  I expect a president to lead the country in unity.  I expect him to lead by example in treating everyone the same.  I expect him to quickly condemn racism and mistreatment of the minorities. 

“I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.”― Nelson Mandela

That is not what is happening. Instead both presidents seems to condone violence and discrimination.  Trump,  from the beginning with all the talk about the Mexican Border Wall has preached separation and discrimination.  I expect presidents to build bridges and to bridge gaps, and not to build walls and applaud division.

Trump made it okay for the racists to come out in the open. It seems that now they can hate and discriminate out in the open.  I feel he gave the green light to hate and to attack.

I am hurting for 2 countries that I love.  I am hurting for my brother and sister that because of their skin color live in fear.  I am hurting for those that have no voice because of their social standing and social economic condition.  I am hurting for the ones not free to express their religion or sexual orientation.

I am hurting for the black mother that sees their child go out of the door and can only pray that they will return safely home.

I pray.  I pray for awareness.  I pray for each person to look inwards and start spreading love. I pray for peace and miracles.

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”― Nelson Mandela

No matter your belief or where you stand, you cannot deny that George Floyd’s death was was murder.  His life was completely disregarded by the one’s tasked with defending and protecting life. It didn’t need to happen.  It could have been easily avoided. And he is not the only one to die in such a senseless manner.  He is only the last one.  

We need the police.  I am grateful for the officers that every single day risk their lives to protect me.  But there is huge problem that needs to be addressed.  Not everyone is qualified to perform that job.  They need to be better trained.  Complaints of brutalities need to be taken seriously.  The good officers need to have a safe environment to speak up against the bad ones. 

What can I do?  I will continue doing what I have always been doing.  I will continue treating everyone the same.  I will continue donating money to causes that I think are important, specially focusing in education, children and the elderly.  I will continue listening when my brother/sister speak.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”-Nelson Mandela

So many tragedies.  Still, I dare to be positive.  I dare to look for blessings.  I dare to expect miracles. I dare to see angels. I dare to still be happy.  I dare to search for the meaning and the lessons.

I stand with goodness.  I stand with God.  I stand with following the law. I am against using violence to protest violence. Please if you are marching to protest be careful, and do so peacefully.  Tearing down our neighbors property, and causing injure to others is not the answer.

I don’t have any answers.  I have prayers and love and I will continue to spread those.

“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”― Nelson Mandela

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A brand new day! A brand new world?

27 Wednesday May 2020

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“The chief beauty about time
is that you cannot waste it in advance.
The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,
as perfect, as unspoiled,
as if you had never wasted or misapplied
a single moment in all your life.
You can turn over a new leaf every hour
if you choose.”― Arnold Bennett

Today, May 26, 2020 is a great day.  New Rochelle, NY, where I live, and now also work, entered Phase One of the Coronavirus Pandemic Reopening.

In March, New Rochelle was the epicenter of the virus in NY state.   We have now turned a corner and began moving in the right direction. In the direction of less and less cases.  I hope that people will respect and abide by the restrictions of each phase so that we can quickly progress towards full reopening.

These is how they list the 4 reopening phases: 

  • Phase One:
  • Constructions
  • Manufacturing
  • Retail with curbside pickup
  • Wholesale Trade and Agriculture
  • Phase Two:
  • Retail
  • Real Estate
  • Phase Three:
  • Restaurants
  • Phase Three:
  • Arts and Entertainment
  • Recreation and Education

Now that there seems to be light at the end of this very long tunnel I hope we all can move together towards a better world.  After all is said and done I hope that we are able to take something away from it, a lesson, an idea, a goal, etc. 

Actually, if this quarantine hasn’t thought you anything or have not opened your eyes to anything, then stop and look again.  You don’t want to miss this chance to make life changes, to make a better future for yourself and others.

There is a reason for everything in this world. I am not sure of all the lessons here, but I know that there will be many.  There will be different lessons for different people.  For beginners we will probably value more our family and our freedom of coming and going as we please.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson

I have yet to make an inventory of the lessons I have learned, since we are still not completely out of the woods and the learning is daily and on-going.  I will continue to be all about my family, and less about material things.  I will appreciate more my freedom, hugs and faces without masks.   I will continue moving towards a more minimalist life.  I want less things to weigh me down. 

Let’s not waste any more time.  Let’s get busy living. Don’t postpone ideas and wants.  Don’t postpone passions.  Follow your heart.  Follow your bliss!

But more than thinking only about ourselves, we need to think globally.  Planet Earth needs our protection.  Mother Nature needs all of us to be more thoughtful and less wasteful. Let’s take care of each other. Let’s be kind to our neighbors.

“Possessions, outward success, publicity, luxury – to me these have always been contemptible. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best for both the body and the mind.”― Albert Einstein

 

“Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.” ― Confucius

24 Sunday May 2020

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“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”― Confucius

I caught myself being short tempered yesterday.  I was at the new office dealing with different issues. There was the electrician, the cable guy and the appliance delivery guy.  The delivery guy was rude.  I tried to ignore it and make conversation, but all I got was grunting.  I didn’t say anything but I wanted to. I wanted to ask what was his problem.  But I didn’t.  Instead I gave him a $20 tip.

I realized that my interaction with him was going to be very short lived and there was no need to be confrontational.  Also, I realized that I have no idea what battles he is fighting.  He is out there putting himself at risk so people like me can get their appliances, and whatever else we order. I decided not to make any assumptions.  Not everyone is friendly and likes to talk.

I constantly need to remind myself to be less critical of others and to stop expecting people to act as I would. I needed to choose respect and understanding.

“Consideration for others is the basis of a good life, a good society.”
― Confucius

Confucius uses the word “jen” to describe love or humanity, or more specific, a compassionate love for humanity/the world.  Having jen is having compassion and love for each other and that is something that we need a lot now more than ever.

Nowadays it seems that everything is about division and we are forced to take sides on every issue. I don’t mean to imply that people should stand in silence in the face of injustice, but not everything is a fight, not everything needs to be made into a war.

“Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others.”― Confucius

I am a democrat but I don’t need to love everything about the democrats and hate the republicans.  I don’t have to choose a side.

I want people to stay at home, but I am not a hypocrite.  I stayed as long as I could. Once the lease and construction of the new office was finalized I have gone out every now and then to get it up and running. I expect deliveries.  Things don’t magically show up.  There are many people behind each package I get.  That fact is not lost on me.

Everyone staying at home 100% of the time  it is just not doable. Not only from the monetary aspect of it, but also the mental one.  Not everyone is equipped to stay that long locked in.

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”― Confucius

Let’s remember that to everything there are exceptions. There is always the gray area.  There is the need for common sense.  There is the need to be reasonable, to reflect before jumping to conclusions. There is the need to respect our difference of opinions.

Before a quick retort, before an unkind word, before a confrontation, stop and reflect. Ask yourself if it is really necessary to act in such a way.  Kindness is the answer to every question.

We need more jen.  According to Confucius we are all born with jen, but it up to us to cultivate it.

“Tzu Chang asked Confucius about jen. Confucius said, “If you can practice these five things with all the people, you can be called jen.”

Tzu Chang asked what they were.

Confucius said, “Courtesy, generosity, honesty, persistence, and kindness.
If you are courteous, you will not be disrespected;
if you are generous, you will gain everything.
If you are honest, people will rely on you.
If you are persistent you will get results.
If you are kind, you can employ people.”

So, today try to look with kindness to all, starting at home with your family.  We are all struggling.  Some are better equipped to deal with this quarantine.  Let’s respect each other’s limitations.

Let’s not assume and impose our opinions on others. Less judgment and pointing fingers. Let’s create a Love Pandemic.  Let’s spread kindness.

“If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character.
If there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home.
If there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nations.
When there is order in the nations, there will peace in the world.”
― Confucius

What about Dating? Am I too busy, too lazy , too distracted or just not interested?

20 Wednesday May 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, EX Files, Finding Me

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“Many things interested her and nothing satisfied her entirely.”
― Ivan Turgenev

Do you remember my friend A, the natural doctor?  It had been a long time since we had spoken on the phone.  I met him on a dating site in 2015. We had a couple of dates and then he disappeared.  When he resurfaced we started going out again but only as friends.  We became great friends.

For awhile we had a Sunday routine of going to the gym, then the sauna, then going for a healthy meal.  Then he got busy, I got busy.  Then he got a girlfriend, and became even busier.  Our friendship just became a text every now and then, which he initiated because, to be honest, I am the worst at keeping in touch. 

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”― Mark Twain

The other day he reached out and we scheduled a call to catch up.  It was fun.  We spoke about everything, including as:

  • Canceled trips: He was going to Paris and Italy in April with his girlfriend.  I was going to Brazil in April.
  • Supplements and vitamins: I have been taking pretty much the same ones I listed here: https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2018/08/08/vitamins-supplements-and-positive-thinking/.  He is the one that has prescribed most of those to help me with my gum issues. He mentioned that he is now also taking Blue-Green Algae and raved about it.  I need to look into that.
  • Real Estate: He is talking about buying an apartment.  He lives in the same town I do.  He has been renting but his rent has been increased so he thinks that now it is time to buy.  I am all for buying and stop paying rent.
  • Books: The list of books that I have started and have yet to finish is endless.  I realized that in going on and on about all my books I never asked him about what he is reading now.  He did mention that one of the ones that I have yet to finish is his all-time favorite book: The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer.
  • Plans for when the quarantine is over:  We both agree that we miss getting massages and going out to eat the most. 
  • and among many other topics, he asked me one question that stumped me:  What about dating?

“Is it that you don’t like people, or that you just grow tired of them and can’t for the life of you remember why you ever found them interesting?”― André Aciman, Find Me

What about dating indeed.  I haven’t thought about dating at all, since M. and I parted ways, a couple of months ago.  I was about to take a break from dating when I met him. I deleted my profiles and gave us a chance.  It didn’t work.  Any time a relationship, or just a date doesn’t end up as I wished,  I don’t despair.  I feel it brings me a step closer to the one time that it will work. I always walk away with something, some lesson.  This time was no different.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”― Haruki Murakami

There were red flags.  I ignored them and hoped for the best. I erroneously thought I could have a relationship with a die-hard Trump fan.  I thought that as long as we didn’t discuss politics we would be okay. Wrong! Politics, specially nowadays need to be discussed, even if just to agree to disagree.  

https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2020/03/14/loves-trump-hates-immigrants-and-is-clueless-about-sex-not-my-match-the-mistakes-i-made-and-lessons-i-learned-in-this-short-lived-relationship/

When it all came to a head I knew I was ready for that break.  Then quarantine hit, and on top of that I got busy with working on getting my new office set up.

Dating took a back sit.  Still, it is only a matter of time until I get back to online dating.  I enjoy meeting new people, the flirty back and forth, the first date, and all the infinite possibilities.  Above all, I will forever look for my Mr. Right until I find him, if he doesn’t find me first.  So sooner or later I will be describing first dates again.

But for now I am just too busy, too lazy, too distracted or perhaps just not that interested.

“Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends feel there is something special in them. Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only the best, be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.”― Norman Vincent Peale