being open minded, dates become friends, feeling young, forever young, not accepting scraps, online dating, wanting attention
“Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don’t last your whole life.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
Dating, as it can be expected, has been slow going. Still I have managed to go on 3 dates with a 62 year old attorney. He thinks he looks younger so he set his date range on his profile to 40 to 54 years old. I barely made it. 😊
Upon meeting him I thought he looked and carried himself a bit older than 62 . I asked his age again to make sure. He said he thinks he looks younger because he is active. I didn’t have the heart to tell him what I thought. I am glad he didn’t ask.
It got me thinking about what it means to be young. My date thought that because he walks every evening and plays golf Saturday and Sunday that he looks younger. It is awesome that he feels that way but it is not what I saw and felt. (but really who cares what I think. Good for him for feeling that way)
He didn’t have the characteristics that make me think of someone as being young. It has nothing to do with a number or how they look. It is how they carry and present themselves. It is their attitude.
To me being young is never losing the sense of adventure. Being young is being eternally curious and always wanting and willing to learn. Being young is not being set on my ways, being capable of changing and to adapting. Being young is being hungry. Hungry for life.
What is important is how somebody feels, so great for him for feeling younger. I just don’t think he is being realistic wanting to date someone as young as 40 years old.
“All I want to be is very young always and very irresponsible and to feel that my life is my own-to live and be happy and die in my own way to please myself” ― Zelda Fitzgerald
Still I went on 3 dates with him. After the third date I was sure that there was zero romantic chemistry. I actually knew that after the first date. Looking back, I guess I just wanted to get out of the house and he was a nice person, so why not. At the time I thought I was being open-minded and taking a chance.
On paper he seemed like a great match for me. He was a gentleman, smart and successful. I realized after those 3 dates that not only there was no chemistry, there was not much of meaningful conversation either. I asked and he answered. I asked about his profession, family, etc. He didn’t ask about mine.
I feel I know a lot about him, but he knows nothing about me. Whatever he knows about me is because I volunteered. I enjoy the give and take conversation when someone is interested in finding out about me as much as I am about him.
I was relieved when, days later, he wrote me a message saying that we should be friends. I agreed. I thought I was never going to hear from him again, but he called over the weekend to say hi. I was shocked he even asked about my sister. Go figure!
“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – ― Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin
Then there is A.-The Renter. I mentioned him in a prior post. He is moving to NY from California maybe this month. We have been communicating for 2 months. In the beginning there was a lot texting and phone calls. I was very excited about him as it seemed that he could be the perfect match, but at this point it is hot and cold.
He texts me a lot one day then goes silent for many days, then starts texting again. I am not happy about that and talked to him about it. He mentioned he is very busy with his new position and that is why the infrequent texting. He also mentioned that he is still very interested and nothing has changed as far as that. AS he mentioned: “I am the only one”.
It takes a second to send a text, so I don’t accept not having a second to send a text in as many as 5 days. A few days ago he texted “Good morning” and I just didn’t have it in me to reply just to have him disappear again. I ignored it.
I want to be open-minded, understanding and accommodating, but I am not willing to accept scraps, I want to be important in somebody’s life.
If he ever moves here I am willing to meet. That is, if he ever texts again. Either way I am ok. The earth will not stop moving.
I have a date tonight with a guy that is not really my type but he seems nice and I am curious. He likes classic cars and has a motorcycle, not normally the guys that I go for, but when all else fails…
“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” ― Isaac Asimov