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Daily Archives: October 22, 2020

Part II, yea or nay

22 Thursday Oct 2020

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

Covid traveling, illusion versus reality, one day at a time, online dating, plenty of good men, travelling with a stranger

“The truth is that the universe has been answering you all of your life, but you cannot receive the answers unless you are awake.” Rhonda Birne

Part II

Thank you to everyone that wrote to me with concerns about this trip.  I so appreciate the care and support of everyone!  Blessings All! ♥♥

As I mentioned I asked the Universe for a sign and I believe I got one.  Well, I took something that happened as a sign. I will get to that in a little bit.

The truth is I already knew what to do.  The idea of this trip, even though it was extremely exciting, wasn’t feeling right, not because of COVID, even though that should be a consideration, but because of him.  I was trying to make his lack of communication okay, but in the end it was not.

He eventually called.  I was completely honest with him, well, I am never not completely honest.  My problem is being too honest with some jerks that don’t deserve my honesty.  I mentioned that I had a problem with his lack of communication.  I said that questions had come up when I was excitedly planning for this dream vacation and he never bothered to text me back to at least see what I wanted.  I felt ignored.

I told him that the excitement of this romantic tropical vacation combined with finally meeting him blinded me to how crazy this was.  The resort may be amazing but I can certainly pay for trips and don’t need to act as if this is the last trip in the world. (Between you and I there is no way I am willing to pay $700.00 a day to stay anywhere, but he didn’t need to know that).  He agreed and mentioned that he has another timeshare to another expensive resort in Aruba. Gosh, who cares at this point?

In the end I cannot recall exactly what he added to the conversation that night as I believe that I did all the talking.  I hung up with the idea that the trip is off but that we are still on track to continue communicating and eventually meeting if he ever moves to NY.

Then he went silent.

****

“You will never follow your own inner voice until you clear up the doubts in your mind.” – Roy T. Bennett

The sign:

That morning. right after I asked for a sign I received a message from a guy on Match.  His profile didn’t have much information but he wrote me in perfect Portuguese which drew my attention. Right away he gave me his LinkedIn and phone number. I quickly did my Google research and found out a lot information on him.  This man is impressive.

There is so much I could say about him, but I always want to err on the side of not giving away too much information about anybody here.  He seems too perfect to be true.  He is 47 years old is very accomplished in the financial industry.  He speaks multiple languages, extremely well educated, and the best part, very spiritual. He has been to multiple retreats in different parts of the world, spent time with Indians in Brazil and healers in Hawaii.  He sent me videos and pictures from those experiences.  That is some of the stuff I love.  And he seems to have a sense of humor too.

Things developed very quickly.  I did all that I never do. I gave him my phone number right away. We connected on LinkedIn. On the first day we texted from 2pm to midnight.  By the time midnight was rolling around the conversation had gone from spiritual retreats to more spicy topics.  I take full blame for that.  Give me chemistry and a willing participant and I can be very free with my words.  In my defense, it had been ages, so it felt good.

. “I believe instinct’s the iron skeleton under all our ideas of free will. Unless you’re willing to take the pipe or eat the gun or take a long walk off a short dock, you can’t say no to some things. You can’t refuse to pick up your option because there is no option.”― Stephen King

Let me point out 2 things:

  • It has been fun with this new guy. I will call him The Swiss.  We will probably end up meeting at some point but I don’t think he will be the One in the long run.  We already had some miscommunications over texts because he was under the impression that I didn’t want to meet in person.  I have no idea how he came up with that.  Some of the smartest men make the dumbest assumptions out of nothing. The worst part is not asking questions to understand the situation correctly. That point has been addressed though.

Now we need to figure out when and where to meet.  He lives in NJ, it can take anywhere from over 1 hr to 2 hrs to get to.  And then there is COVID, which seems be getting worst again in some.  We shall see what we come up with.

For some reason I am not too concerned about meeting him at this point.  We have slowed the texting down to only a couple a day, and I prefer that for now.

“I had deceived myself. I will not deceive myself again. I have worn many masks and will wear them no more.”― David Rae,  Crowman

  • I saw his message as a sign, not because I think he is the One. On the contrary, I took this guy showing up as a sign that there are plenty of potential Ones right there.  I think it was the Universe showing me that I don’t need to get stuck on any one, no matter how amazing they seem to be. There are tons of even more amazing guys out there.

If he is not right for me, he is not right for me period.  I need to stop trying to make  some men into the perfect vision I have of them.  I need to stop trying to turn cubic zirconia into a diamond.

The right one for me needs to feel great all around right.   He needs to… oops I just realized that I was going to start to describing the perfect person for me. I don’t want to do that now, but I think it will be fun for a future post.  It will be fun to see how completely opposite the person I end up with really is. 🙂

And, just today some other interesting guy just showed up. I am not going to give him my phone number yet, but I am curious.

“Never stop dreaming,
never stop believing,
never give up,
never stop trying, and
never stop learning.”
― Roy T. Bennett

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