It seems lately that I have this internal battle going on.  It sometimes subsides and then all of sudden it rears its ugly head again.

The jealousy battle. Every time Ex doesn’t reply to my text or e-mail, every time he says that he is going to call and he doesn’t, every time for any number of reason I start imagining things and creating all sorts of scenarios in my mind.

But the whole point is that it doesn’t matter what he does or doesn’t do.  I know that we will never be a couple again. Yes we are friends and see each other every now and then, but I don’t foresee this being a lasting thing.

I am probably going against all reason and sanity still seeing him, and my excuse and explanation is that I enjoy it. And why should I deprive something that I enjoy, which is his company.  Why can I enjoy his company for what it is.

That is the real question, isn’t it?  Can I enjoy his company for what it is, just a good time.  Can I live in the moment and not think of tomorrow or yesterday?

That remains to be seen! I guess if I master that I will be the master of my own universe!!!