Tag Archives: wedding

Update – what I have been up to lately

24 Tuesday Sep 2013

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Update https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/08/21/being-a-bridesmaid-is-for-the-birds/

So the wedding has come and gone, and honestly I am so happy it is gone.  No more worrying about the dress.  I finally settled on a sleeveless Ralph Lauren Lace gown with a slit on the side.  The only guidelines were: it had to be long and champagne.  The other bridesmaids had gowns that were shinier than mine.  One of the girls looked like she was going to attend a Quincenera party.  I think that deep down inside she wanted to be more beautiful than the bride. 

All in all the wedding went well.  I ended up having to give a speech.  I expected the sister of the bride and who I thought the Maid of Honor was to do it, but at the rehearsal when the event planner asked who was going to give the champagne toast/speech all eyes turned to me, including my friend the bride, so I had to say yes.  That night I wrote a few words.  It was pretty good for a last minute thing, it had humor and it was heartfelt.  When the time came I got up, got the page to read the speech and, I guess, out of nerves, I couldn’t make a word out on that paper, so I had to go from memory and improvise a bit.  It worked! People laughed and applauded at the right times.

The most important thing is my friend (the bride) was happy with how everything turned out.

“I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.” 
― Jarod Kintz

***

Work is still up and down, and down, and down… when are we going to be stable and not have to worry about money???

***

Update https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/embarrassed-to-be-brazilian/

Finally I will be getting a Brazilian passport valid for 5 years instead of just 1 year. It is all about the person that helps you.  This woman that I talk to today didn’t want to see any documents other than the old passport and a copy of my birth certificate.  She said she doesn’t understand why I was given such a hard time in the past. All is well that ends well!

***

It was my dad’s birthday yesterday.  He is 77 years old.   Amazing he is alive after battling cancer and coming so close to dying.  His will to live, and fear of dying is what I believe made the difference. Well, the doctors also said that the fact that he never smoke or drank a day in his life helped insure the success of the operation he had to go through.

***

Classes:

I started a mosaic class last week.  It will be a total of 5 classes, and at the end I will have a finished product. I have to be honest and say I didn’t love the first class.  I loved the teacher’s loft with water views.  I want to live in a loft with water views!!!

I also started tap/jazz classes. It will be held once a week, on Friday evenings.  Not my first preference for the day of the week to have class, I already had to miss last week.  There will be a recital in June.  Tell me, why do I sign up for this stuff?

***

e-Harmony

it has been okay. Nobody interesting at the moment, but things can change rather quickly – this is the beauty of life, I guess – things can change in an instant.  Some times I am more motivated, other times I am realizing the joys of being single.

***

Brazil here I  come!! October 4th.  So now I am on the packing and shopping phase/craze.

***

Ex, oh Ex, why after 2 years you still matter? why does my heart still hurts?

Will devote a post to that in a couple of days.

“Love is the absence of judgment.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV

Being a bridesmaid is for the birds!

21 Wednesday Aug 2013

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“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should be happy that my friend asked me to be in her Bridal Party.  I am in fact  honored, but it is all such a hassle.  I was never one of those girls into these types of celebrations.  To me going to baby showers and bridal showers are a chore that I’d rather pass on.

I am guessing a contributing factor for my dislike for things bridal and baby is that I never yearned to have one of those for my own.  I grew up saying that I would never get married and that I would adopt if I ever wanted any kids.

All of a sudden I wake up and the missing ring on my finger and the missing baby in my arms is weighing heavily on me.  What, is it too late to change my mind? Why am I not allowed to change my mind?  Where did time go? What do I do now? Do I call life unfair?  Do I blame myself? Is this a life sentence? Do I marry the first willing guy?  What about the baby?

I try not to dwell on what could have been.  But I am only human and some times there is this little voice inside me that wishes things could have been different.  I relish myself on living a full life independent of what is or is not missing in it.  Lately my mantra has been:  “If you don’t have everything you love, love everything you have!”

I just surprised myself now,  this post was supposed to be about my awful experience shopping for a bridesmaid dress and the problems encountered:

1) too many choices.  the bride wanted to be nice and is allowing all the bridesmaids choose different dress styles, as long as it is Champagne and long.  This is a problem for indecisive me.

2) the worst salesperson ever.  Had me trying dresses that were not available in the color I needed, and twice I had to hunt her down on the sales floor only to find her staring lost in space.

3) lack of good choices. It seems that 99% of the styles are strapless and if somebody has been blessed in the breast department as I have it is just not flattering.  Yes folks, besides being blessed with the metaphorical star on my forehead I have been real blessed in the breast department!

4) crazy prices.  How can I in sane conscience pay over $200.00 (and that is choosing the cheapest dress plus alterations)  for a dress that I will never wear again.

It seems more of a hassle and waste of money.  I spent the entire Saturday hunting for a dress.  I went to so many stores and came back home empty handed. 

If it was only the dress, it wouldn’t be so bad, but when you add shoes, hair, nails,  make up, hotel, car rental, this can be as much as a nice skiing vacation.  Oh and not to mention the gift, that I still have no idea what that will be.  Any ideas?

By the way the only other wedding that I was a bridesmaid, they got divorced a year later.  Just saying…

oh gosh, I am sounding like a bitter old maid! I am making it all about me while the whole point is my friend and her celebration. It is not all about me and what is good for me.  Sometimes you do stuff you don’t care for, you spend money you don’t have, you wear what you don’t like, all because you love someone and their happiness is important to you.  This friend is important to me!  Therefore I am putting on a happy face and I am going to be the best, most helpful bridesmaid ever!

So, I will save this longing for a baby for the next post!

of trips and falls and the need to change …

14 Wednesday Aug 2013

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“Overconfidence precedes carelessness.” 
― Toba Beta

(I wrote this on Saturday,  August 10)

Instead of being en route to Boston I am sitting here at Penn Station with broken fingernails, scraped and painful knees, a sore wrist and wearing a pair of ripped jeans.  That is the result of falling while running to catch a train.

When I fell I had no time to be embarrassed, but the fact that I fell  on the sidewalk of a very busy street, right where there was the weekly Farmer’s Market is not lost on me.  I quickly gathered all the spilled contents of my bags and took off running even faster.  I got to the station with a 1 minute to spare.

The train is late, giving me time to finally assess the damages.  Only now I realize my jeans are ripped on the right knee.  2 fingernails on my left hand are broken.  My knees are throbbing and when I look through the hole I see blood.  I am not even sure what to think or feel.  I guess the prevailing feeling is anger at myself. I can’t blame this on an uneven sidewalk or anything else, this is all on me!

Finally after 10 minutes, that seems like 10 hours, the train comes and I jump in.  I get settled in the comfortable seat.  My entire body is sore, so it feels great to let my body relax in the seat and get ready for the 4 hour trip.

I am not relaxed for long.  When the conductor comes and takes a look at my ticket, his face falls.  He looks like he is going to start crying.  He explains I am on the train to Washington and not to Boston.  He cannot understand how I didn’t hear the many announcements he made.  I consoled him and said it was not his fault, three or four times.   I remember hearing announcements but never dawned on me to think to pay attention to what was being said.  Also, the fact that the train was heading South instead of North was another detail I had failed to notice.

The conductor informs me that luckily the train is making a stop at Penn Station in NY City where I can get off and catch another train.  After the conductor leaves I sit there thinking of how I need to change my ways. Why must I wait until the last minute to leave the house?  Did I really need to vacuum the apartment? Did I need to make my own salad to bring? Why must I come up with 300 things to do and then have to run like a bat out of hell?

I laugh welcoming this little curve ball, realizing there are lessons here! I need to learn them and change my ways otherwise some thing worst than a bruised knee and a ripped pair of jeans is bound to occur.

With all being said about my need to change my ways, my positive self thinks that all this happened for a reason.  I was not meant to be in that train and was meant to be sitting at Penn Station right now.  I do not know why.  I do not need to have a reason, I just need to believe that at this moment I am where I need and was meant to be!

“For myself I am an optimist – it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.”― Winston Churchill

***

After I wrote the above, my train was delayed and eventually canceled. I had paid $60 more to be put on the 12pm Acela Express instead of the regular 1pm train.  The Acela kept being pushed back due to mechanicals problems.  The girl at the Amtrak counter tells me to wait until 12:45 and if the Acela is not set to leave she will put me on the 1pm.  I make sure to ask if there will be still room on that.  She said: There is plenty of room.  Now, almost 12:45pm the announcement says the Acela has been canceled.  I go to the counter, not waiting in line and going straight to the girl from before.  When she tried to put me on the 1pm, she says: “oh, it is sold out!”.    I think at this point I have tears rolling down my face.  She feels my pain and is talking to co-workers and supervisors to see what can be done.  All of a sudden after a phone call to someone she says that the Acela is back on.

What Amtrak ended up doing was combining both trains in the 1 pm.  There wasn’t enough room, so take a guess who had to ride standing until the next station? At the next station people left and seats became available.  That station happened to be my town,  where I had started my trip 3 and a half hours early.  Yes, it was tempting to just get off the train and go home.

It all seemed like a never ending comedy, where the only not laughing was me!

My tears at the Amtrak counter were not about wasting money and time, or ripping my favorite pair of NYDJ jeans,  but about my lack of attention and care.  I tend to be an airhead, careless and klutzy.  I think I cannot waste a minute, and try to pack as much as I can on my day.  All I do is talk about the need to pay more attention to my surroundings and to be in the moment, but no changes have been made.  When am I going to start?  This quirk of mine used to be cute – on Saturday not so much!

At times I do think I suffer of overconfidence.

At the end of the day,  my trip was successful.  I went to Boston to help a friend choose a wedding dress.  That was accomplished, she has a dress now and she was extremely appreciative of my being there to help her choose it.

Now, for the wedding in September I think I will be driving! 🙂

“How could I have been so ignorant? she thinks. So stupid, so unseeing, so given over to carelessness. But without such ignorance, such carelessness, how could we live? If you knew what was going to happen, if you knew everything that was going to happen next—if you knew in advance the consequences of your own actions—you’d be doomed. You’d be as ruined as God. You’d be a stone. You’d never eat or drink or laugh or get out of bed in the morning. You’d never love anyone, ever again. You’d never dare to.” 
― Margaret Atwood