Tag Archives: Seinfeld

The first date

20 Monday Jan 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“An open mind and a willing heart are the beginning of many a great adventure. Let’s get started.” Colleen Houck, Tiger’s Dream

M. is 56 years old and works in law enforcement. I like that he took charge and chose the location and time of the first date. He asked if I was okay with his choice or would like something else. I was fine with it.

We went to Chat 19 in Larchmont, NY, a place I have been to several times and enjoy. When I got there at 7pm he was waiting for me in the vestibule. We hugged hello, walked in and sat at the bar.

I had a passion-fruit mojito, he had red wine. We shared an appetizer of spring rolls. The conversation just flowed. We talked and laughed non-stop. We talked about everything.

If I was one of those people that paid attention to things I would be able to describe his clothing and shoes, but I am not, so I can’t. I know how he made me feel: comfortable, safe and wanted.

He mentioned that he never gets nervous but he was a little nervous at that moment – I could tell. He apologized if he was staring too much but he said couldn’t help himself because I was so beautiful.  He complimented my face and skin, and said I don’t look my age. He loved my small hands and said I could be a hand model. Even if he overdid a bit (or lot) I enjoyed receiving his compliments. There is no way that I could ever be a hand model, but it was fun to hear him say that.

The conversation about being a hand model led us to talk about our mutual love of Seinfeld. We both also love the movie Shawshank Redemption. We have similar tastes in a lot of things.

Then he brought up politics and the similarities ended.  I cringed. Lately it seems that is one topic that can make or break potential relationships. Turns out he voted for Trump. I mentioned that I didn’t and will not ever. We talked a little bit about our reasons, but quickly moved on from that subject.

We survived that topic.  I liked that he didn’t try to convince me of anything.  He was respectful and open minded.

Then a musical trio arrived at the restaurant and started playing. It was fun but it was loud so we listened to a few songs and headed out.

We walked towards my car holding hands. It felt natural and comfortable. We got to my car and as I said goodnight we leaned into each and quickly kissed on the lips.

I got in and started the car. I lowered my window, he leaned his head inside the car and kissed me again. After he moved away I pulled him back in and this time it was a longer kiss. I could kiss him the whole night.

We then said good bye and I drove home. Five minutes later he was already texting me to say thank you for the great evening and that he couldn’t wait to see me again. I felt the same way.

It was clear we liked each other. This is exciting and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

The second date is already tomorrow.  It is Martin Luther King’s day and I am off from work so we are going to have lunch before he goes to work. He works from 3pm to midnight.

Stay tuned…

“I want love, passion, honesty, and companionship… sex that drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane.”― Steve Maraboli

It’s not you, it’s me!

30 Saturday Jan 2016

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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MF and I bonded over our love of Seinfeld.  Unfortunately in breaking up I will have to use the “It’s not you, it’s me” routine.  He will react as surprised as Seinfeld, as it seems all is going well.  And it is, because I have been willing to ignore the lack of passion and certain nagging feelings.

I realized that I have been trying to convince myself that he can be the one.  I have been forcing it and trying to make it work.  Love cannot be forced.  Chemistry cannot be created and it doesn’t magically appear.  It is either there or not there.

I took the day off from work yesterday and went skiing with him.  We had a great time… as friends on a day out.  Romantically something was missing.  Something has been missing from day one.

We just don’t match in the romance and intimacy department.  I thought he was just shy and nervous in the beginning and that things would improve.  They did improve but not enough.  We are just different and expect different things.

He is a great friend and a great company. He is kind and considerate. He is up for anything I want to do or try.  I am going to miss the company and I hate to hurt him but leading him on is not fair.

I will be back to having to do things alone, but I much rather that than to feel I am using someone.  What I am going to miss most is the nightly phone call where I get to go on and on about stupid stuff and he so patiently listens.

Besides the lack of romance, there is this nagging feeling that something else is not right.  I have a feeling that there is something I don’t know.  He has been very open with me, but still there is this feeling that I cannot shake it.

It may sound silly but I am not willing to ignore this unsettling feeling.  I am also not willing to settle for a relationship without passion, without sex.  If this relationship, that is barely 3 months old is already this passionless, I cannot imagine it 6 months down the road.

“A great fire burns within me, but no one stops to warm themselves at it, and passers-by only see a wisp of smoke” – Vincent van Gogh

We don’t see each other often and when we do we already act like we have been married for 20 years.  I want a man that cannot wait to see me and take me in his arms, as in my past relationships.

I have already talked about that with him a month ago.  I mentioned my needs and wants.  He asked me to be patient and to give us a chance.  I feel I did.  To keep going when I know something is lacking will make me feel like I am using him.

He is a great guy, hard-working, honest, great father, and many other great qualities.  Many women will love to be with him, but he is not the one for me. I tried to make it work, but it has gotten to the point that I settled for passionless.  I also now find fault with a lot things he does.  I am now like a dictator telling him exactly what he needs to do.  I don’t like that feeling.  I am becoming a critical nag.

I hope he understands my feelings and that he can still be my friend, as I love talking and spending time with him.  He mentioned in the beginning that we would always be friends, so we shall see.

I also feel that if I stay with somebody that is great but not the one, I am not leaving room in my life for the right person to arrive.  I am also impeding the other person from finding their true match.

I want everything or nothing at all.  I want a friend and a lover.  I don’t think I should have to choose.  Better alone than with the wrong person.

Now back to singlehood!

 

“I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
Like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.”
― Pablo Neruda

Day 2: A bunch of nothing

23 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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I realize that having to write something every day will have me writing about day to day mundane stuff.   That is a little tough for me, to feel that I am writing about nothing.  I guess I will become the Seinfeld of the blogging world – haha.  A blog about nothing!

So you can look forward to a post about socks disappearing in the washer and my not being able to find my car in a parking lot!

So here is today’s nothingness:

I had a piece of delicious pound cake with butter for breakfast – yes I know better!  I know that I need to stay away from cake and all its carb relatives, but thinking about it makes me crave carbs more!

I am still itching like crazy.  Today I didn’t take Benadryl as it didn’t really help yesterday and it was making me so drowsy that is impossible to concentrate on any work.

So, the plan is, if it doesn’t get better by tomorrow morning I will be walking to the Docs located in the building next door. At least their location is convenient!

I need to get better by Thursday as I have this great night to look forward to!  I am going to see the Counting Crows at the Roseland Ballroom and then will stay at this great hotel complete with a rooftop bar.  Everything promises to be an amazing evening, so I better not be itching or it will put a big damper on the night.

Until tomorrow …