Tag Archives: focus

from burnt toast to wedding toast

08 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good.” ― Śāntideva

Sometimes I feel my mind is too small to fit in all I need /want to do.  I fear things will spill out and get forgotten and never done.  It is a weird feeling, but that is my life at this moment…so much to do, so little time, so little money, and no control over anything.  So many obstacles… people not doing their job, mishandled orders, parts broken, appointments missed, appointments never scheduled, car not starting, keys lost … but also tiny little blessings at every corner, keys found 🙂

“I may do some good before I am dead–be a sort of success as a frightful example of what not to do; and so illustrate a moral story.” ― Thomas Hardy

On Thursday my multi-tasking, or perhaps my lack of focus, cost the office our beloved toaster.  I put a couple of slices of bread in it and went on to do a few (several) other things (mistake #1).  All of a sudden someone yells “something is burning”.   I ran to the kitchen and opened the oven door (mistake #2) and flames just shoot out.  The next few seconds was a blur of panic.  Everyone failed to see the extinguisher a foot away.  One co-worker unplugged the toaster while the other threw containers of water on it.  In the mean time I looking around looking for a blanket or something like that to extinguish the flames, but all I see is paper towels (no, not mistake # 3).

I am happy to report that besides a dead toaster, a wet kitchen, a tiny little burn on my finger (I am not sure how I got it) and being the butt of many jokes the whole day, all is well.  Yesterday, Friday (Bagel Day in the office) was just not the same without the toaster.  I will buy another one, but I am now looking for one that has some kind of alarm or shut-off button.  Any suggestions?

This is both a warning sign and a lesson.  Let’s hope I did learn something and will not make the same mistake again.  I seriously doubt it… as I write this I am chatting with a Sears representative  online, I am doing a company Census, e-mailing the accountant and texting my date for tonight.  I need to learn to do one thing at a time and see it to completion before moving on to a new task.

***

“Maybe we are running from something because we don’t want to find out what we are running from” ― Iva Marija Bulić

Updating my previous post: https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2015/01/29/miss-fearless-is-terrified/

The man in question, I will call him Mr. TV agreed to slow things down.  It was either that or never see me again – so he chose the first.  We are going out tonight.  I am coming to the conclusion that the reason why I am rejecting him is because he wants me so much.  In his eyes I can do no wrong.  It is what I want, when I want.  It makes me think of Grouch Marx when he said: “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people like me”.

We shall see where this will go… For now I am controlling my need to run away for now.

***

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.” ― Elie Wiesel

Remember my first date after the break up?  https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2012/05/29/first-e-harmony-date/

He got married!  Yes, I have to admit that for a second I had the thought “it could have been me”.   He is a wonderful guy with a love for learning and traveling, 2 things that are near and dear to my heart.  I see pictures of the happy couple gallivanting around the globe and I do feel a twinge of jealousy.  But, the truth is I am very happy for him.  It seems he found the right person for him.  He and I were not a match, so no matter how unbelievable the life he could have offered me was, it would never make me or him happy.

The crazy part:  I was invited to the wedding celebration to be held in March in Atlanta!

The crazier part:  I am going!

It would be easier to decline the invitation, but I was never a fan of taking the easy route. I thought for awhile about what his invitation meant and what my accepting it meant.  I realize that I do not need to impart any serious meaning or ulterior motive to an invitation for a happy event.  Why must we always complicate everything?

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” ― Helen Keller

Mosaic Workshop

11 Monday Mar 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Mosaic and other crafts

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That is how I spent my Sunday, at a mosaic workshop in Stamford, CT.

I learned some great techniques and got the name of some materials to use.  I am definitely glad I went, but

one of the hardest parts for me was to be concentrating on one task for many hours straight.  I am the type of person that gravitates from task to task.  I also like to see results quickly, so it was such an exercise in focus and patience!

I didn’t even stop for lunch because I wanted to just get the project finished.  Quitting was not an option, so finishing it as fast as I could was.  Perhaps that means that mosaics are not the craft for me, but I like to believe that it just means that I need to learn how to slow down and how to be more focused. I also think that focus and talent are 2 different things.

and here is the final product:

Mosaic Project

My mom collects owls so I will be surprising her with this masterpiece (for some reason I can’t correct the orientation of the picture)

Of course right now I can think of many things that I could have done better, but still I am very proud of my owls!

shhh! Don’t tell anyone, but I took a nap today!!

21 Monday May 2012

Posted by in Daily Life

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I took a nap today! Yes, me!! The one that thinks that sleeping is wasting time.

I am forcing myself to some times do nothing! I have so many plan and ideas and I want to do them all now! But reality is, often times, I am busy, busy, busy with 300 different things and in the end I accomplish nothing.

I do lack focus, just one of the many things that I am trying to work on.

Just a quiet Sunday. Breakfast with the paper. Oh and speaking of the newspaper: Last weekend I was reading the Real Estate Section and saw the question and answer section, so I decide to e-mail the NY Times to ask them to answer a question that I have been pondering over for the last few months.

They say they cannot reply to your e-mail and will answer the question only in the paper. I wasn’t sure when and even if that they would answer.  So you can imagine my shock when I opened the paper yesterday and there is my question and the answer! I am so truly impressed! Thank you NY Times!!

Anyway, continuing with my Sunday, after breakfast I had my Pilates session, which I can’t stop raving about it.  Then ran some errands, then decided to go the park to get a beach and park pass.  That is where that picture above is from.

Got home without the pass because didn’t realize that they need 2 proofs of residency.  Oh well, but it was good just going there and getting the fresh air.

I worked a little bit on my mosaic project. Read a couple of chapters on a couple of books, took a nap.

There was something so luxurious and calming about it.  The idea that the world is going at many miles an hour and I decided to stop and do absolutely nothing just felt incredible!

I recommend it!!

Loving and not looking back

02 Friday Mar 2012

Posted by in EX Files, Finding Me

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Deciding to just love and not look back is hard but it feels wonderful!

I decide to see the ex every now and then, well it is pretty much when he wants.  I know that that sounds awful.  Sound like I am being used and settling for second best, but I don’t see it that way.  I see it as enjoying and cherishing the love we still have. We are not together as a couple for a variety of reasons.  It was mostly his choice not to work on this relationship and focus on his business and other situations.  Do I fault him? Do I think he never loved me enough? Yes, a big resounding yes, but I am choosing not to dwell on it.  I am choosing to accept his company and affection whenever possible.  At the same time I am not altering my schedule or previously made plans to accommodate him.

It is my plan to, little by little, to give you my background, so you will have a better idea of who I am and how I got here.

Learning to enjoy life without the pressure to follow society’s norm and ideas of when one should be married, have kids, etc is not simple.  But I am managing to do it.  Not always pretty and painless.