Superwoman has a shiner and is ready to shine

17 Saturday Oct 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me, Food

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“My past is everything I failed to be.” ― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

This morning I woke up with a shiner.  I am a star,  so I shine, but that is not the type of shining I am talking about.  And no, I didn’t wake up next to someone that was so amazing that he shined, or is it shone? 

Anyway, I am talking about the shiner that you get when someone punches you on the eye.  There is no pain or itching, just redness below the eye.

I Googled and found out I have an allergy shiner.  I had never heard of such a thing. The most common cause is nasal congestion due to some kind of allergen, which remains to be identified.    

It could be anything.  It could be the new rug that I got one week ago today. I never got my floors finished. It was getting me so stressed that I put all the flooring material in my storage for now and got this rug that covers the entire floor.   

“I take pleasure in my transformations. I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many women there are in me.”― Anais Nin

A doctor mentioned that nasal congestion could also be the cause for my vertigo, so perhaps I do have a real nasal congestion issue, even though I don’t feel it. 

Coincidently this week I started a regimen to detoxify my liver as I though it was the culprit.  This new routine has been hardcore for me.  I am looking to detoxify my body and create better eating habits.    

The worst part has been changing my eating habits.  I mostly eat whatever I wanted when I wanted, always with moderation.  Food has always been a source of pleasure and a show of love in my family. Sugar, a forever pacifier.

“A self is not something static, tied up in a pretty parcel and handed to the child, finished and complete. A self is always becoming.” ― Madeleine L’Engle, A Circle of Quiet

That way of eating may have been fine when I was 24, and perhaps 34 and 44 also, but now at 54 I realize I need a serious change. Now my metabolism is slower and certain foods affect me differently.

Now it is time to finally look at food as fuel.  As I struggled with vertigo in the recent past, and hives forever, among other ailments, how I treat my body has become increasingly important. I need to be nice to my body so my body in turn can be nice to me for many years to come. Not to mention that in my small immediate family of 5, my parents and my brother are diabetics.  Diabetes seems like a certainty if I don’t change things now.

I want to be and become the best I can be in all senses.  I am capable of more. I am starting with my body.  There is not much I can control, but I can choose how I treat my body and what I eat.

“I have laughed, in bitterness and agony of heart, at the contrast between what I seem and what I am!” ― Nathaniel Hawthorne

I figure that this detox may improve not only my health but the body I see when I look in the mirror.  At this moment I see a body that it is not where it should be.  My body is amazing and I am so grateful for it, but I am not being kind to it.  I do plan on getting naked in front of someone again some day 🙂 hopefully very soon…

All I did this week and plan on doing for a total of 3 weeks is a lot for me and not sustainable for a long period of time.  I plan on finding a more doable routine and keep it as a way of life.  It is not reasonable for me to think that I can totally give up certain foods and follow certain routines on daily basis. 

My plan is to follow this plan for 3 weeks Mon-Fri and on weekends relax a little and have a little bread.  Then slowly develop a more sustainable forever plan for me.  

Even though it is hard to recognize that I need to change, it feels good to embark on this road of betterment.

“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” ― Carl R. Rogers

This is what I have been doing for the past 5 days:

  1. No sugar, no carbs.  This is a huge one for me.  I love sweets and baked goods so much. No to have my daily bread and butter is torture. I am incredibly  proud of following through with it.  
  2. More water. I often forget about liquids. I set the alarm on my phone for every hour as a reminder to get up from my desk for a walk and a glass of water.
  3. Less salt. I am learning that I don’t need to always add that extra pinch of salt.
  4. More physical activity.  The gym in my building is closed and I am still not comfortable going to the Planet Fitness,  so I am trying to walk more and do more exercises at home.  I cannot decide on the perfect elliptical to buy.  The perfect one would be a combination of quiet, small and affordable. Until then I bought a Stamina InMotion Elliptical trainer to put under my desk at work.  It is arriving this week.  
  5. Sauna.  Since I cannot go to a sauna because of COVID, the sauna came to me.  I got a sauna blanket.  I have the HigherDose one. 
  6. Meditate.  I struggle with quieting my mind. For now I do it while in my sauna blanket.  I put some meditation music on,  close my eyes and tell my body to ignore that “too hot” sensation.  I often recite the Ho’opnopono prayer. It goes like this: “I’m sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.”
  7. Coffee Enema. I realize this one is controversial but my research tells me that it will help, so I need to try.  I also have spoken about this with my friend that is a naturopathy doctor and he agrees with me. 
  8. Getting more sleep.  I am trying to go to bed earlier. (I did everyday except one, that I was texting with one guy until midnight – I am going to write about it)
  9. Take Milk Thistle Dandelion.  On the bottle of this supplement it reads “Love for your liver”.  I am also taking other supplements and vitamins, as I mentioned on prior posts.
  10. Dry Brushing skin. It is for exfoliation and stimulation.  Before every shower I brush my entire body starting with the feet. I apply less force to sensitive areas such as the face.
  11. Oil Pulling.  Switching oil around in my mouth for at least 10 minutes.  I use coconut oil.  I have been doing this on and off for awhile. I think that has improved my gums.  My dentist agrees.  Well, what he said was: ” keep doing whatever you are doing – it is working”. For now, a surgery that the dentist was sure I needed has been postponed indefinitely and hopefully I will be able to avoid it altogether. 
  12. Tongue scraping.  In the past I used it a couple of times at night to remove bacteria.  Now I do it every morning when I get up to also remove toxins deposited on the tongue during the night. Now I am using a spoon until a new tongue scraper I bought arrives.

“The sky is not my limit…I am.” ― T.F. Hodge, From Within I Rise  

Disclaimer: ” Please note that all that I am doing is not in any way a recommendation or suggestion for you to do it.  These are things I wanted to try and carefully researched them.  Please do your research and consult your doctor, specially if you have any kind of health issue.”

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” ― Jim Rohn

Todays is only my 6th day, but here is what I noticed so far:

  1. I already lost a few pounds.  I am trying not to focus on the scale, but seeing the numbers go down is an incentive.  
  2. I haven’t slept well the last couple of nights, but that could have something to do with the allergy issues.
  3. No change in my skin, but I was blessed with good skin anyway.
  4. I have more energy.
  5. Emotionally wise I am feeling like a million dollars. 

“Beyond myself, somewhere,
I wait for my arrival.” ― Octavio Paz

 

 

 

A tray in a sea of tables and other pursuits

15 Thursday Oct 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me, Mosaic and other crafts, travels

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“Do not think of todays failures, but of the success that may come tomorrow.” ― Helen Keller

To prove I am not a mosaic one-trick-pony, here is a tray I just finished 🙂

I forgot to take pictures from the beginning.  I was too engrossed into already planning my next table (truth).

I am really getting into a good routine with mosaics.  I go to the studio every Saturday or Sunday for a couple of hours.  It feels great to pursue one of my passions, and not just do it once in a blue moon.  

“We can do anything we want as long as we stick to it long enough.” ― Hellen Keller

Now I need to tackle learning French and skiing.

French – I start teaching myself every few months.  I guess what I really need is to make sure to stay the course.  Every time is like starting over when I really should be fluent by now.  

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going” ― Helen Keller

Skiing – This one requires more effort.  Not only it requires more money and planning it requires me to let go of the fear of speed.  The moment I pick up any speed I panic.  I need many more miles under my skis to hopefully get more comfortable.

Now with Covid everything became even more difficult.  Who knows when I will have a chance to go again.  I want to book a trip but all is so uncertain that I think I will wait awhile longer.

But I am not giving up.  I will be perfectly comfortable skiing blues one day.  Mark my words! 🙂

“Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight.”― Helen Keller

Second Date? What second date?

13 Tuesday Oct 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.”― Rumi

The Saturday night dinner never happened.

Why?
Your guess is as good as mine.

He never called or texted. On Friday night I sent him a text. He never replied. Not an excuse or explanation. Nothing. Just silence.

I cannot say I am shocked. When it comes to dating nothing shocks me anymore.

I am baffled and perplexed. I am also curious. And sad, happy and grateful.

Why would he ask me out if he had no intention of following through with it. He went on and on about taking me to dinner Saturday night. Why?

Why ignore my text? Why not reply something like: I am busy or I have to work, or I changed my mind, anything…

What should I learn from this? According to Rumi everything is a lesson and everyone is a teacher. What is the lesson here? Perhaps in this case there was no lesson, there was only a grapefruit martini that was divine and I hope to have it again.

“This being human is a guest house. Every morning is a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor…Welcome and entertain them all. Treat each guest honorably. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”― Rumi

If he changed his mind, which I have been often guilty of, why not say so? Why act like an immature person and hide? I have zero respect for ghosts. This is ghosting, right? This disappearing act.

I am sad that people behave in such way when there is absolutely no reason for it. On the first date we talked about being respectful and preserving other’s feelings. We talked about honesty and integrity.  All talk I guess.

I am happy that I no longer need to know the reasons behind people’s actions. I just accept and move on. He acted like a jerk. End of story.

“Be like the sun for grace and mercy. Be like the night to cover others’ faults. Be like running water for generosity. Be like death for rage and anger. Be like the Earth for modesty. Appear as you are. Be as you appear.” ― Rumi

I am grateful! Grateful that he showed me who he is right away. No energy was wasted.

Any time something like this happens I always think that is the work of my always alert guardian angels. This person was not for me, not even as a friend and my very efficient angels quickly removed him from my life. How much more blessed can a person be?

No harm done. There will always be jerks and I can’t always spot them.  Still, I am not discouraged.  I am still going to get excited about dates and potential dates.

And on that note, A.-The Renter and I are back on track. I had ignored his last text because I was not happy with his lack of communication. On Saturday, about the time I would have been on that date that didn’t happened, he called.

He again explained how busy he is because of the promotion. I don’t think he will ever be the communicator I want but at this point I am still excited about the potential. I want to meet face to face before I make any decision. We are making plans to meet in 3 weeks. I will say more when the time comes.

“Ignore those that make you fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.”― Rumi

Date Report

10 Saturday Oct 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.” ― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

Last night’s date was very short. It was a quick drink that almost didn’t happen.

Early in the day we had decided to meet at 7pm. Later on I told him that perhaps 7:30 would be better for me. I had a guy coming over to my apartment to dismantle my bed frame and throw it out so I was dependent on that guy’s timing. I told my date that I would confirm the time later.

Later on I texted confirming 7:30. Unfortunately I texted somebody else. I texted the bed guy. It was not until he was done with the job and was saying bye that he said: “by the way I got the 7:30 text”.

I checked my cell and confirmed I had texted the wrong person. I often do that. I need to pay more attention when texting. Actually when doing anything.

When I realized what I had done I texted him and explained. It was already 7 pm. He called me right away and said that it would take him 40 minutes to drive to my city and asked if it was still okay. I said yes.

Later he said he thought he was being stood up when I didn’t text earlier.

We met at 7:45pm in front of Modern Restaurant. He had forgotten his mask so he went back to the car to get it and asked me to wait. Instead of waiting I followed him. There were some bars near where his car was parked so I figure he didn’t have to walk back, we could just go to one of those.

I joked that I was afraid he was going to run so I followed him. Later at the bar when he got up to go to the bathroom he jokingly pointed out that he was leaving the car keys at the table so I didn’t have to worry that he would try to escape. I appreciate humor.

We went to New Roc Social Bar. We sat outside. It was chilly but I was dressed warmly so I was fine. He clearly didn’t know that it would be that cold, towards the end of the date he started shivering.

He had a Corona, I had a grapefruit martini that was so delicious. I think it was made with grapefruit vodka, Aperol, St. German and lemon.

The conversation flowed. We both like to joke so there was a lot laughs. We also talked about our families, work, future plans, etc.

When we finished our drinks he asked what I would be doing on the weekend and said: I would like to take you to dinner Saturday if you are free? I said yes.

When we said good night he said he would get in touch so we can plan Saturday’s dinner. It is now Friday afternoon and I haven’t heard anything yet.

I think the whole date lasted a little over 1 hour. It was long enough to decide that it would fun to see him again.

I went in with zero expectations and was pleasantly surprised. Well, it is impossible to have zero expectations. I went in expecting a tough bike guy and met a sensitive funny one.

I am looking forward to the second date.

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” ― Isaac Asimov

Dates, friends and possibilities

08 Thursday Oct 2020

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“Take advantage of it now, while you are young, and suffer all you can, because these things don’t last your whole life.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

Dating, as it can be expected, has been slow going.  Still I have managed to go on 3 dates with a 62 year old attorney.  He thinks he looks younger so he set his date range on his profile to 40 to 54 years old.  I barely made it. 😊

Upon meeting him I thought he looked and carried himself a bit older than 62 .  I asked his age again to make sure.  He said he thinks he looks younger because he is active. I didn’t have the heart to tell him what I thought. I am glad he didn’t ask.

It got me thinking about what it means to be young.  My date thought that because he walks every evening and plays golf Saturday and Sunday that he looks younger.  It is awesome that he feels that way but it is not what I saw and felt.  (but really who cares what I think.  Good for him for feeling that way)

He didn’t have the characteristics that make me think of someone as being young.  It has nothing to do with a number or how they look.  It is how they carry and present themselves.  It is their attitude.

To me being young is never losing the sense of adventure. Being young is being eternally curious and always wanting and willing to learn. Being young is not being set on my ways, being capable of changing and to adapting.  Being young is being hungry.  Hungry for life.

What is important is how somebody feels, so great for him for feeling younger.   I just don’t think he is being realistic wanting to date someone as young as 40 years old. 

“All I want to be is very young always and very irresponsible and to feel that my life is my own-to live and be happy and die in my own way to please myself” ― Zelda Fitzgerald

Still I went on 3 dates with him.  After the third date I was sure that there was zero romantic chemistry.  I actually knew that after the first date.   Looking back, I guess I just wanted to get out of the house and he was a nice person, so why not.  At the time I thought I was being open-minded and taking a chance.

On paper he seemed like a great match for me. He was a gentleman, smart and successful.  I realized after those 3 dates that not only there was no chemistry, there was not much of meaningful conversation either.  I asked and he answered.  I asked about his profession, family, etc.  He didn’t ask about mine. 

I feel I know a lot about him, but he knows nothing about me. Whatever he knows about me is because I volunteered.  I enjoy the give and take conversation when someone is interested in finding out about me as much as I am about him.

I was relieved when, days later, he wrote me a message saying that we should be friends.  I agreed.  I thought I was never going to hear from him again, but he called over the weekend to say hi.  I was shocked he even asked about my sister. Go figure!

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” – ― Anais Nin, The Diary of Anais Nin

****
Then there is A.-The Renter. I mentioned him in a prior post. He is moving to NY from California maybe this month. We have been communicating for 2 months.  In the beginning there was a lot texting and phone calls.  I was very excited about him as it seemed that he could be the perfect match, but at this point it is hot and cold.

He texts me a lot one day then goes silent for many days, then starts texting again.  I am not happy about that and talked to him about it.  He mentioned he is very busy with his new position and that is why the infrequent texting.  He also mentioned that he is still very interested and nothing has changed as far as that. AS he mentioned: “I am the only one”.

It takes a second to send a text, so I don’t accept not having a second to send a text in as many as 5 days.  A few days ago he texted “Good morning” and I just didn’t have it in me to reply just to have him disappear again.  I ignored it.

I want to be open-minded, understanding and accommodating, but I am not willing to accept scraps, I want to be important in somebody’s life.  

If he ever moves here I am willing to meet.  That is, if he ever texts again.  Either way I am ok.  The earth will not stop moving.

****

I have a date tonight with a guy that is not really my type but he seems nice and I am curious.  He likes classic cars and has a motorcycle, not normally the guys that I go for, but when all else fails…

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” ― Isaac Asimov


Another table

05 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Mosaic and other crafts

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“We’ve taken the world apart but we have no idea what to do with the pieces.” ― Chuck Palahniuk

I love doing mosaic on tables.

Here is the latest.

When I broke the plates to use, I realized that it was not ceramic but glass covering paper. Instead of breaking as intended, it shattered.

I decided to use it anyway, even though it was not as I had originally planned.

I swear all my projects look much better in person than in pictures 🙂

The secret to attracting butterflies – Borboletas – Mario Quintana

29 Tuesday Sep 2020

Posted by in Daily Life

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This is a text that I like.  I think it was written by Brazilian Writer Mario Quintana but I am not 100% sure.

“Quando depositamos muita confiança ou expectativas em uma pessoa, o risco de se decepcionar é grande. As pessoas não estão neste mundo para satisfazer as nossas expectativas, assim como não estamos aqui, para satisfazer as dela.

Temos que nos bastar… nos bastar sempre e quando procuramos estar com alguém, temos que nos conscientizar de que estamos juntos porque gostamos, porque queremos e nos sentimos bem, nunca por precisar de alguém.

As pessoas não se precisam, elas se completam… não por serem metades, mas por serem inteiras, dispostas a dividir objetivos comuns, alegrias e vida.

Com o tempo, você vai percebendo que para ser feliz com a outra pessoa, você precisa em primeiro lugar, não precisar dela. Percebe também que aquela pessoa que você ama (ou acha que ama) e que não quer nada com você, definitivamente, não é o homem ou a mulher de sua vida. Você aprende a gostar de você, a cuidar de você, e principalmente a gostar de quem gosta de você.

O segredo é não cuidar das borboletas e sim cuidar do jardim para que elas venham até você. No final das contas, você vai achar não quem você estava procurando, mas quem estava procurando por você!”

Here is my loose translation:

“When we place a lot of trust or expectations in a person, the risk of being disappointed is great. People are not in this world to meet our expectations, just as we are not here, to meet theirs.

We have to be enough …  we alone have to be enough. And when we try to be with someone else, we have to become aware that we are together because we like to, because we want to and because it feels good, never because we need someone.

People do not need each other, they complete each other … not because they are halves, but because they are whole, willing to share common goals, joys and life.

Over time, you will realize that in order to be happy with the other person, you need not to need them. You will also realize that the person you love (or think you love) and want nothing to do with you is definitely not the man or woman for you.  You will learn to like yourself, to take care of yourself, and especially to like those who like you.

The secret is not to run after the butterflies, but to take care of your garden so that they come to you. Ultimately, you will find not who you were looking for, but who was looking for you!”

 

 

 

My ever loving sweet enemy: Sugar

24 Thursday Sep 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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The vertigo came back again.  I spent a couple of days last week barely functioning.  I started taking Claritin and Cocculus Indicus again.  Happily, most of the symptoms were gone in 2 days. 

I discovered a couple of things:

  1. Sleeping on my left side helps immensely to alleviate the symptoms.  So, no more sleeping on my back or on my right side.

2. Sugar exacerbates or perhaps even causes the vertigo.  The last 2 times I woke up with vertigo I remember having had lots of sugar the night before, in the form of ice cream and cake. 

No surprise discovery here.  Sugar doesn’t help anything.  Sugar feeds any kind of body inflammation and only wreaks havoc on the body.

Sugar and I have a long love/hate relationship.  I love it and it hates me.  Not only sugar, but carbs.  I am not talking about the naturally occurring sugar.  I am talking about all the refined ones that do not add anything good to my body.  But it tastes so good!

Back in 2012 I was already writing about this dysfunctional relationship.  https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2012/07/21/is-sugar-my-new-ex-am-i-looking-for-love-in-desserts/

12 years have gone by and I still have not done anything about it.  That is embarrassing. Why can’t I stop going to sugar on every occasion, happy, sad, indifferent…

At times I think that sugar and I can co-exist in peace.  I think I can just have a little bit on the weekends.  That peaceful existence lasts awhile, but then one day, out of the blue I just give in.  All of a sudden sugar has me again.

What is up with this emotional hunger? 

Baby steps… recognizing I have a problem, yet again, is the first step.  That is all I have.  No solutions.

 

I Want a Little Sugar in My Bowl – Nina Simone

I want a little sugar in my bowl
I want a little sweetness down in my soul
I could stand some lovin’, oh so bad
Feel so funny, I feel so sad
I want a little steam on my clothes
Maybe I could fix things up so they’ll go
What’s the matter daddy, come on, save my soul
I need some sugar in my bowl, I ain’t foolin’
I want some sugar in my bowl
You been acting different I’ve been told
Soothe me, I want some sugar in my bowl
I want a little steam on my clothes
Maybe I can fix things up so they’ll go
What’s the matter daddy, come on, save my soul
I want some sugar in my bowl, I ain’t foolin’
I want some sugar
In my bowl

Live Simply and Simply Live!

17 Thursday Sep 2020

Posted by in Daily Life

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Today I came across the above writing (my loose translation is below) from the Brazilian Writer Mario Quintana. 

“Suddenly everything becomes so simple that it scares.

People let go of their needs and wants, and start reducing their baggage.

The opinions of others are really those of others, and even if they are about us; it doesn’t matter.

We give up certainties, because we are no longer sure of anything. And, we don’t miss them. 

 We stop judging, because there is no longer any right or wrong, but only the life that each of us choose to experience.

Finally, we understand that all that matters is to have peace and quiet, to live without fear, to do what makes your heart happy at that moment.

That is all!”

I had read it before, but today it hit me in a different way.  Today it made sense.  

Today I dream of simplicity.  Today I want to get rid of the excess and of the unnecessary.

Today I want to make space in my life for only what makes my heart sing.  Let spaces be empty until the right item, person, task, etc comes along.

I am happiest when I clean and organize, when I get rid of things (donating all instead of throwing out).  I feel unburdened and light.  

Let’s get rid of excess in all things.  Let’s get rid of people and things that are dragging us down and not contributing to the life we want to lead.

I wish the entire world to live simply and simply live! Less is so much more!

 

Tell the truth or keep a friend?

11 Friday Sep 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“Is it true; is it kind, or is it necessary?”― Socrates

I have this long time girlfriend that is such a sweet, giving person but has terrible taste in men.  I don’t think she knows her worth and keeps settling for much less.

Years ago I was very vocal about a boyfriend that she had.  To make a long story short, she took offense to some things I said to her and stopped speaking to me.

Eventually we started speaking again and she apologized. Since then she has had other boyfriends that I also didn’t think were good enough for her but I never expressed my opinion again.  She lives a couple of hours away so we don’t see each other often, but any chance I get I just make sure to tell her to put herself first.  

Fast forward to this past weekend when I was visiting her area and she was excited to introduce her new boyfriend.  She is still getting rid of a prior boyfriend and is immediately starting up with someone else.  A mistake in my opinion.  My advice to her and to everyone after a breakup is to be alone for awhile, focus on oneself. 

“Truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy.” ― Warren Wiersbe

I am happy for her excitement but I don’t think the new boyfriend is any better than the prior one.  I don’t want to go into detail here why I don’t think he is the right person for her.  I met him for 10 minutes and in that short time I think, as they say in Brazil, she is changing 6 for half dozen.  

Later she called to ask my thoughts about him.  I was not sure how to kindly tell her that I was not impressed.

How to tell the truth to someone that cannot handle the truth?  By truth, I mean my truth, the way I see, which can be wrong or right but it is my truth as I see it. 

One of the good traits and also bad trait of Aries is the brutal honesty.  I normally just tell it like it is.  But with age comes wisdom and I realized that I don’t have to always tell it like it is.  There are times that it is okay to be less than 100% honest.  

“The trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”― Norman Vincent Peale

I keep wanting her to be alone for awhile and focus her love and energy on herself.  But I have said all of that before.  

This time when she asked my opinion I mentioned to her I didn’t want to say anything because of our past experience.  She said she was immature then and apologized for it again.  Still, this time I chose a more refrained honesty.  I said to her that 10 minutes was too short of a time to form an informed opinion of him.  I said it wouldn’t fair to judge him on that little interaction. 

I did, however, pointed out to her something he did that I had an issue with.  She promptly came up with 2 excuses for said action.  The fact that she made excuses for him tells me she is not ready to hear exactly what I think. 

She is excited, happy, full of renewed energy and making a lot plans.  I couldn’t put a damper on that. So this time I chose kindness instead of brutal honesty.  I felt those were my only choices.   I pray I am wrong and he is not another one to take advantage of her.

“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.”― Robert Brault