Category Archives: Finding Me

Anything related to the discovery of the inner me

Happy chaotic 2025

27 Monday Jan 2025

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Hi everyone,

I hope your 2025 is going well.  Whatever plans you have, start NOW!  Great advice, right?  Yet, I continue to be waiting on things to be finished so I can accomplish other things, so I can live my life.

I continue hoping for calm and order, but I will have to wait longer for that.  The construction/renovation on our condo will continue for a few, or several, more months. I am trying to keep positive and focus on the fact that things are progressing, but it has been a struggle. 

I like results and to have things completed and orderly, and my life at the moment is the total opposite of that.  There is dust everywhere. It is a daily ritual of vacuuming and mopping. Still, the dust persists.

We have been living out of the second bedroom. Everything we have is either there or in NY, waiting to be brought to Florida.  We will not be buying any furniture until all is finished.

Every day there seems to be little progresses here and there, so it seems there is light at the end of this tunnel.  At this moment some apartments are already having their exterior painted. I think ours will be painted in the next couple of weeks.

To renovate the exterior and correct all the damage in the balcony and exterior, they had to come into the apartment several feet. In doing that, there was damage to the floors, ceilings, walls and electrical work. 

We decided to take advantage of the fact that all is a mess and go ahead and remove the fireplace. In doing that we got more floor space and a little more view.

Everything is slow going as one crew depends on the other to finish their parts, and they all depend on the inspectors to come and approve the work. Nevertheless, I see progress and that provides me comfort.

To top the chaos, I have a physical audit scheduled, besides the regular audits – the auditors just love our little firm.  I also have dental surgery scheduled – more gum graft and laser surgery in my future.  Will expand upon those on the next post.

And then there is good, the ever lasting feeling of being blessed and the certainty that all that is happening now is for the best.

Love, light and blessings to all!

The twists and turns of October 2024

07 Thursday Nov 2024

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I feel my life is just like this tree I encountered the other day - all twisted - so different and gorgeous.

I feel my life right now is just like this tree I encountered the other day – all twisted – so different and gorgeous.

It has been over a month since my last post.  I keep waiting for normalcy to start writing more frequently, but I will probably have to wait longer for that.

I look forward to routine, but instead, I should learn to enjoy the adventure of chaos. I continue my struggle with not being able to stay in the moment and enjoying it for what it is, instead of dreaming with a perfect future.

After spending hurricane Helene in Florida, I decided not to chance it and went back to NY to wait for Milton.  I am happy to say that Milton came and went, and thankfully my apartment is still standing.   I still have plywood instead of doors and windows, but hopefully it will not be too long until I get my long-awaited view.

After the boss decided to relocate the business from New York to Florida, thanks to me, I spent some time searching for office spaces and legal firms.

After seeing some horrible office spaces, I found the perfect space in the historic part of Melbourne, FL. Well, not that perfect, because I don’t have my own bathroom and kitchen, but I figure I will have to settle. I got a fridge, coffeemaker, toaster and a portable sink.  I will get used to that.  I don’t plan on being in the office every day.  The bathroom is a shared one in the hall. Not that the end of the world.

The legal firm we hired worked on the paperwork and we are now officially a Florida company.  That part, after so much concern, was actually painless.  Fingers crossed that there will not be any unforeseen issues.

The time I spent in NY escaping Milton, was used to digitize all my files.  It has taken some getting used, but getting rid of paper is freeing. 

I also packed some more of my stuff from my apartment. I decided to have most of my belongings in Florida, and make that my official home.

Finally, the closing for the sale of my NY condo will happen next week.  I will not be there for it, the attorney will handle that. But I will get there a few days later to continue to pack some more of my belonging and to continue the closing of the NY office.  I have to set up my assistant to work from home, among other stuff.

And just when I think that things are quieting down, JPMorgan Chase has just informed my company that they are terminating their relationship with us.  I have never heard of that before. Why would they do that?  I am supposed to get a letter about it.  I am really angry about it, but powerless.

Now I have to scramble to get another bank account and get our customers and vendor to start using this other account.

Peace is a state of mind.  I repeat that to my myself, now more often than ever.  Peace is how I handle all the issues that I have to deal with and not the absence of any issue.

Michael has been the constant in my life, my routine and rock.

I hope everyone is enjoying a blessed beginning of November.  Be back soon.

Always blessed!

“It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available—more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don’t have to run into the future in order to get more.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

Today’s sights – October 4, 2024

04 Friday Oct 2024

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I have started riding my bike in the mornings again. It has been fun exploring my new town.

It feels great to start getting back to a routine.  Everything else feels in limbo, unfinished.  Will write about it on the next post.

Wishing you all a blessed weekend!

Tiradentes and Ouro Preto, sights and tastes

23 Monday Sep 2024

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“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Posada Casa da Tuta

Posada Casa da Tuta

In Tiradentes we stayed at Pousada Casa da Tuta. Cozy room, delicious breakfast. I would go back there for the chocolate cake alone.

a store in Tiradentes

a store in Tiradentes

In Tiradentes we had a delicious dinner in a restaurant that I cannot remember the name. It had a back patio with a jazz group playing great Brazilian jazz. I remember most the black rice risotto that I had, with fish and vegetables.

Pousada do Arcanjo

Pousada do Arcanjo

In Ouro Preto we stayed at Pousada do Arcanjo – a historical themed bed and breakfast. Great breakfast, comfortable rooms, but I would have prefered a more central location.

Pousada do Arcanjo

Pousada do Arcanjo

We ate at Tropea Cantina Armazen https://www.opassopizzajazz.com.br/tropea and Bene Flauta http://www.benedaflauta.com.br/. Both great restaurants, but I don’t recall exactly what we had. In one Michael had pizza and I had the chicken fried steak with pasta. In the other I had cod fish cakes and salad, and I cannot remember what Michael had.

Bene da Flauta Restaurant

Bene da Flauta Restaurant

Everywhere I went I would choose a drink of passion fruit and cachaça, but at Tropea I tried a drink with gin, passion fruit and ginger foam.  It was delicious.

Tropea Restaurant

Tropea Restaurant

Downtown Ouro Preto

Downtown Ouro Preto

“We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.” ― Epicurus

Visiting Ouro Preto and the surrounding towns in Minas Gerais, Brazil

19 Thursday Sep 2024

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“It’s a road trip! It’s about adventure! . . . It’s not like we have somewhere to go.” ― John Green

While in Brazil, juggling work, and personal issues, Michael and I managed to take one week off to take a road trip through some towns in the state of Minas Gerais.

One town I want to make sure to visit was Ouro Preto (Black Gold). I was there with my mom and sister when I was14 years old. I wanted to return and show Michael that area.

Ouro Preto is a charming colonial mining town, full of history, beautiful baroque churches, cobblestone streets, and so much more. It was funded in the 17th century, and it was the center of the gold rush at that time.

Besides staying a couple of nights in Ouro Preto, we stayed 1 night in Tiradentes, spent a day in Mariana and Congonhas.  We also stayed at a remote bed and breakfast in Brumadinho for a couple of nights.

We wanted to be near Instituto Inhotim, and also spend time quiet time in nature.  Inhotim is a gorgeous open air museum with beautiful gardens, galleries and installations.

On the way home we spent 1 night in Varginha. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time to see all the UFO related tourism. Varginha supposedly had an UFO sighting in 1996.

And lastly, we spent a day in Pocos de Caldas, a town that is just is just 35 minutes away from my parent’s home. We took the cable car to Christ at the top of a mountain and enjoyed the view.

We had an amazing time and cannot wait to embark in more road trips in Brazil. I will post some photos of this trip here and in the next few posts.

Floppy in Florida

10 Tuesday Sep 2024

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“Disruption of our mental construct can be deeply disorienting. Still, it may also provide an opportunity for growth and reevaluation, prompting us to rebuild our mental frameworks perhaps more resiliently than before. (“Then everything was capsizing.”)”― Erik Pevernagie

Even though we have closed on our new condo in June, we are only now returning to Florida.

We chose to stay at an Airbnb for a couple of reasons. First, we have no furniture, linen, silverware, anything at all; and second and more important, we didn’t know how the work being performed on the exterior would be affecting the interior.  

In Florida, every building that is 3 stories and higher must undergo a Milestone Inspection to assess the health of the building. This building failed miserably and it resulted in major work to be done. And major assessments.

While the seller had paid for all the assessments by June, it turns out that there will be more assessments necessary, as the work continues. We expected that.

We just didn’t expect that the work in the balcony would be coming into the living room.   The doors, windows and wall facing the ocean have been all taken down.  At this moment, our beautiful ocean view is blocked by sheet rock.

Michael and I were a bit startled by the amount of work that needs to be done, and how dismantled the whole front of the building is. But we are trying to remain positive that in the end we will have a perfect structurally sound place.

 Fingers crossed that the work will go fast and be done correctly; and that there will not be tons of extra assessments. 

Tomorrow, I will be going to DMV to get a Florida Drivers License and will also be continuing my search for office space.  Wish me luck 🙂

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.” ― Roy T. Bennett

Here and there, and everywhere

09 Monday Sep 2024

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Hi Friends,

I am not sure what happened to my last post. Al I see is one quote.  I am guessing that when I hit edit after it had been published, I somehow accidently deleted all of it, except for that 1 quote.

In that post I was talking about being back from Brazil after being there for 2 months, and all I did there. My time there flew by, and yet it felt like time stood still.

After 2 months in Brazil, I was in NY for one week, and now I am in Florida, working out of an Airbnb.

In the next few posts, I will be expanding on my time in Brazil, and will be posting pictures of a road trip that Michael and I took. I will also be giving you an update of my life now, in NY and FL.

I am also hoping to reconnect with my friends here. I have been catching up on your blog, and hope to have a chance to leave comments, as I cannot leave likes (thank you WP!)

Love, light and blessings to all!

“I come home—and I have a feeling of returning like a ghost to its haunt.”― Virginia Woolf

Absence makes the heart grow fonder :-)

03 Tuesday Sep 2024

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“For a moment I felt the quiet hungering thing that comes inside when you return to the place of your origins, and then the ache of mis-belonging. It was beautiful, this place, and it was savage. It swallowed you and made you a part of itself, or it you proved too inassimilable, it spit you out like the pit of a plum.
I’d left here of my own will, and yet it seemed the city had banished in much the same way I’d banished it. Seeing it now after so long, seeing the marsh grass pitching wildly around the edges of the city, the rooftops hunkered together with their ship watches and widow walks, and behind them, the steeples of St Philip’s and St Michael’s lifted like dark fingers, I was not sorry for loving Charleston or for leaving it. Geography had made me who I was.”
― Sue Monk Kidd, The Invention of Wings

Birthdays… who needs them?

09 Tuesday Apr 2024

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“There is still no cure for the common birthday.”
― John Glenn

Last month, in the midst of finishing an audit, tax returns and other work deadlines, I turned 58 years old.

58 is just such a foreign number to me.  I don’t feel it at all.  Perhaps it is denial.  

My twin sister and I celebrated by going to dinner at Sergio’s, our favorite Italian restaurant. We went with Michael and our cousin.  It was fun, we had delicious food and talked about a trip that we plan to take together in the summer.

Birthdays have a special way of reminding us that this one life is finite.  Our days here are numbered and we owe it to ourselves to make the most of all our days.  That is my plan.

I don’t always succeed.  Some days feel wasted.  I am one of those people that want to see results, that feels that I need to be always productive.  But life is not about results, it is about “ing”, the doing, the living, the trying. And that could be just ‘nothing”.

On those days that feel wasted, I look back, and I see the details.  I look at the nothingness of the day and I see the immensity of it. And I am grateful.

Life is in those little details. Life is the experiences, but also the down time. Yes, it is just as it sounds:  I am justifying and giving permission for me to do nothing 🙂

“I have a peculiar capacity for doing nothing and yet enjoying myself.”
― Elizabeth von Arnim, The Adventures of Elizabeth in Rügen

 

Skiing in Breckenridge

13 Wednesday Mar 2024

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“I feel the need to endanger myself every so often.” ― Tim Daly

After returning from Florida, we spent one week in NY then went skiing in Colorado.  Breckenridge was divine.  Too bad we cannot be on vacation forever.  Real life was here waiting for me. 

The audit headache continues.  The new auditor that we had to hire is proving to be more difficult than the actual regulators.  He has given me information that is different than the regulation that I know.  At this point, with 2 weeks to go, I have no choice, but just go along and get this done.  After this audit is submitted then I will have decisions to make.

Right now, after putting out a fire, I am taking a break to have coffee. I am using this moment to tell you about my skiing vacation.

I am sharing some of the pictures from Breckenridge below.  Here are some of the highlights and lowlights:

  • We got upgraded to first class on the flight there. On the return we were upgraded to Delta comfort only, but still we had tons of room and a great flight.
  • The shuttle from and to the airport worked out perfectly. We didn’t want to rent a car or to take a chance with Ubers.
  • I was inflicted with altitude sickness for 2 days. I missed one day of skiing. Still, the good 4 days more than made up for those 2 days.
  • The weather was perfect!! It snowed overnight a couple of days, and also on the last day there.
  • It was not crowded on the mountain. There was no wait on the lift lines.
  • My new ski boots are amazing. Easy to put on and remove it, and so comfortable.  Comfortable boots makes such a difference.
  • My new ski goggles, with room for my prescription glasses, was a game changer.  In the past I was pretty much blind on the mountain.  Now I can read the signs, use my phone, etc.
  • My new skis are great, and it means that I don’t have to deal with the hassle of renting. I will still rent when bring my own skis may not be convenient.
  • We ate out 4 evenings. I am highlighting 2 of the meals here.  The best and the worst.
  • The best meal was at Mimos Fancy Tapas. Everything was delicious and perfect. From the service to the ambiance.  We will definitely return next time we are there.
  • The worst meal was at Mi Casa Mexican Restaurant. The food had no flavor and the service was inattentive. Will never return and will warn others about it.
  • Michael wanted to stay in Breckenridge an extra week. I have to keep reminding him that I still have a job. So, we came back.

Skiing continues to terrify me.  I still struggle with it.  I feel out of control. I panic.  Still, I continue… because… I absolutely adore it! Go figure…

Now my focus is on getting this audit done.  We will probably go back to Florida, and also go to Brazil at some point in the next few months.  So much to do, so little time available to do it.

I hope everyone is having a great March! 

Delta’s delicious breakfast

Best food at Mimos Fancy TapasBest Food at Mimos Fancy Tapas

Mimos Fancy Tapas

Mi Casa – worst food ever – flavorless

Tom’s baby-the largest piece of gold found in Colorado

On the chairlift , feeling grateful

My happy place

A gorgeous snowy day

Ten Mile Station lodge

Ten Mile Station lodge

“I am jealous of those who think more deeply, who write better, who draw better, who ski better, who look better, who live better, who love better than I.” ― Sylvia Plath