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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Category Archives: Dating

My instincts were right: The first Bumble date was a hit

21 Thursday Oct 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 43 Comments

Tags

dreaming with a baby, Eastchester, Gigante Restaurant, great first date, kissing on the first date, the meaning of dreams

“Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.” ― Anais Nin

We met at 7:30 at Gigante Restaurant in Eastchester, NY

Before I actually met him there were a couple of hiccups.

First, as I got to the door of the restaurant, a gray-haired man came and opened the door.  I thought he was my date, but I wasn’t sure because of the gray hair.   The guy I was hoping to meet had dark hair in his pictures.  We exchanged greetings, then he asked: “Do you want to fix your hair?”

When I looked at him quizzically, he added: “Do you want to go to the ladies’ room?”

I said: “I guess I need to fix my hair.”

He said: “It looks fine to me.”

After going to the ladies’ room to check on my hair and making sure my hair was fine, I was met in the lobby by the same man and now he had the hostess with him.

I said I was meeting someone, and the hostess said: “Oh yes, there is someone waiting by the bar.”

“Hope is a waking dream.” ― Aristotle

As I am walking towards the bar they were both walking with me.   In front of the bar there are some couches.  The man pointed to a guy sitting on the couch and asks me: “Is this him?  I said: “I don’t know I never met him before.”

I could only see the back of the guy’s head, and he had dark hair so I thought it could be him.  I go around the couch and with a big smile I say hi. The man looked up at me and just stared.

At the same time, I hear my name from the other end of the bar.

I look over, and there is my date by the bar,  laughing.

I burst out laughing.  Everyone is laughing. I wanted to find a hole and just hide in it.

I went over and we hugged.  We both couldn’t stop laughing.

My date said: “That was cute.  I am glad that we got the awkward moment out of the way.”

The man with gray hair felt bad.  He offered to take us to the most romantic table he had.

I still don’t know who that gray-haired man was, perhaps the owner or manager, but he was definitely dressed to go on a date and not to work in a restaurant.

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours..” ― Thoreau, Henry David

My date was well dressed. He had khakis, a nice dress shirt and a sports jacket.  I had a blue blouse, jeans and high heels.

The restaurant was beautiful. It was large, modern, beautifully decorated for Halloween with spider webs.  Sounds weird, but it worked.   The atmosphere and service were perfect.

He had a beer, and I had a the Gigante Spritz.  It was a cocktail made with raspberries, Pinot Grigio, Stoli Raspberry, St. Germaine and Prosecco Rose.  It was delicious.

For appetizer we had Crispy Chicken Parmesan Rolls.  It was a chicken egg roll and it was delicious.  For the entre, I had the Chicken Milanese.  I wasn’t going to have chicken again but the waitress mentioned being their best dish.  It was indeed delicious.  My date had the filet mignon and it was perfect.  He shared some with me.  For dessert I ordered a mango panna cota. I ordered it because of the coconut whipped cream and the berries.  I wouldn’t order it again.  But it was so pretty I took a picture of it.

During the date we talked about everything and nothing.  I don’t think we found out too much about each other’s past.  But in a way, it felt right, it felt light and unburdened.   This is different for me than other dates.  Normally I ask so many questions and come away knowing a lot.

I found out that he has been divorced four years.  Because of his two daughters he hasn’t dated at all until now.  One is in college, and the other will be going very soon.

We are both Aries. He is an adrenaline junkie. We both love massages and quote Seinfeld. He is self-assured but unassuming.  I normally don’t get along with Aries guys, but in this case it seemed to work.

We talked about sex, actually, the lack of sex in our lives and how we want to change that. We both think similarly on the topic. It needs to be meaningful. I introduced the topic.

There were tons of sparks.  At the end, he walked me to my car.  He asked me for my number. And when we hugged goodbye, we kissed.  I am not a big fan of kissing on the first date, but it seemed the perfect way to end this date.

He later texted to say thank you, and this morning again he said thank you for the great evening.

I had to describe him with only one word it would be: gentleman.

I am sure we will see each other again.

“I have dreamt in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind. And this is one: I’m going to tell it – but take care not to smile at any part of it.” ― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights

**

On another note.  I woke up at 4am from a nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I had a dream that I was entrusted to take care of a newborn baby. All of a sudden, I realize that I had not been giving the baby a bottle.  I remember feeling a terror inside that the baby was probably going to die or was already dead, because of my neglect.  I hurried to warm up the milk for the baby. The baby looked like he was sleeping serenely all wrapped up in a white blanket.  Or perhaps it was already dead?  I alternated thoughts of “the baby is dead” with “the baby will be okay”.

This dream really messed me up this morning.  I should have been dreaming of rainbows and butterflies and not potentially dead babies.

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”― Louisa May Alcott

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OKCupid sucks, Bumbles rocks. Excited over a first date.

20 Wednesday Oct 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

Bumble dating, Bumble rocks, excitement over a first date, first date, OKCupid sucks, real blind date, sparks and fireworks

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!” ― Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life

Hi everyone, I am stopping by quickly to say I have a date tonight.  Please send me good vibes. This is not just another date.

I just joined Bumble last week. It is so much better than OKCupid and all the other sites I have been on before.  If I were to rate them, this would be the order:

  1. Bumble
  2. Plenty of Fish
  3. Match
  4. E-Harmony
  5. OKCupid

My rating has to do with the matches I made, and that is probably sheer luck.  They all have their share of fake profiles and take time and energy to search through all the profiles.

I have come across only 1 fake profile in Bumble, and all the guys that I have messaged have been polite and real.  Perhaps it is because it is my first week 🙂

Oh, and guess who was the first person that matched up with me?  The guy from the last date.  I don’t get it why he would try to match with me again.

“It is the possibility that keeps me going, and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible.” ― Nicholas Sparks

I have 3 dates lined up, but it is the one tonight that has me all giddy.

This doesn’t feel like just another date.  I am excited about it, and I seldom get excited about dates anymore.

I don’t really know why I am this excited.  If I were to describe a reason, there isn’t really one.   We don’t even know much about each other.  Because I don’t have much information, I was not able to do all my Google research.

We have been exchanging messages for a total of 4 days.  And it wasn’t that many messages.  We didn’t even exchange numbers or spoke on the phone.  And that is perfect for me, as I don’t care for speaking on the phone before meeting anyone.

There is just something about the easy flow of the messages.  I didn’t feel pressured to talk on the phone.  I hate to be cliché, but I do feel like I know him for ages.

There wasn’t a single moment since I scheduled the date when I am coming up with reasons to cancel, as I do 99% of the time.

Tonight is all about a feeling.  Not necessarily a feeling of love, but a feeling of finding a similar soul.  I truly believe I am about to meet a lasting friend.

There something about him, and tonight I will find out.  I hope there are sparks.

“I thank you for your courage to expose yourself.
This courage is needed by everyone because without this courage, you cannot hope for any possibility of transformation – into a new world, into a new consciousness, into your authentic being, which is the door to ultimate reality and to the ultimate benediction.”
― Osho, Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other

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Date Report: Short and not sweet

13 Wednesday Oct 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 32 Comments

Tags

Chat 19 in Larchmont, first date fiasco, He was not it!, high maintenance and happy about it, next!!!!, no second date, Prince Charming is still out there

“But what really matters is not what you believe but the faith and conviction with which you believe…” ― Knut Hamsun, Mysteries

Time: 12pm

Place: Chat 19, Larchmont, NY

Weather: Cold and drizzling

Date: 57 year old businessman

Beforehand:  We have exchanged messages on and off for the past few months.  I knew he was not the best at making conversation but I thought that in person things would flow.  I figured that we could tap in some things we have in common.  We are both immigrants.  He speaks French, and I am learning French.  He loves soccer and I do too.  His business is similar to mine. He has traveled to some of the same places I have.

My First sight:  He looked like his pictures.  Not the best looking, and I am fine with that.  I don’t want good looking.  I want interesting, funny, with things to talk about, and serious about making a connection.  He was none of those things.

His first sight: He commented that I looked good.  As he was saying that he reminded of the Big Bad Wolf looking at Little Red Riding Hood.

Sitting: I wanted to sit inside.  He wanted to sit outside.  We sat outside.  A lot things don’t bother me, so we sat outside.  I immediately took up my long flowing hair into a bun.  Not 10 minutes later we had to move inside once the rain got heavier with sideway winds.

My Ordering: Besides where to sit, this was another sign of trouble.  I am very specific when I order because I want to eat/drink exactly what I want and don’t want to send anything back.  I asked for half a cup of coffee with a side of whipped cream.  The waitress seemed confused with that order and started offering other drinks instead, such as a cappuccino, etc.  I insisted on my order. He made faces and gave me the impression that  he thought I was being high maintenance.  So I asked if that was what he was thinking and he confirmed.

His Ordering: While perusing the menu he mentioned that he wanted to substitute the goat cheese in an omelet with Swiss cheese.  When the waitress came, he didn’t say that.  So, I asked him if he didn’t want another cheese instead of goat cheese.  He said no, that was fine, he didn’t want to be difficult.

My food: I enjoyed my coffee with delicious mini scones that were in the bread basket.  By the time my bacon cheeseburger and fries arrived I had had enough. Of him and scones.  I took only one bite of my burger and took the rest home for dinner.

His food: He barely touched his omelet.  He made all kinds of faces at the omelet and said it was not good, it was too strong, and he should have gone with the Swiss cheese.  I said I told you so. I am normally not the type to say that, but I couldn’t resist.

The conversation: What conversation?  It was mostly him ranting about the state of the country, about the lack of immigration policies, and all sorts of political stuff.  None of which I felt like talking about on a first date.  I tried discussing other things such as soccer and travels, but those didn’t go far.  Then I gave up and waited for the end, knowing that it would be soon.

The aftermath: Thankfully, it was a short date, as we barely touched our food.  He had mentioned wanting to go watch a soccer game, so I used that as an excuse to hurry up and leave.  When I got home I had a text from him saying he had a good time and saying we need to meet up again. What? NO!! Was I there?

“Be believing, be happy, don’t get discouraged. Things will work out.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley

My advice to him on his next first date:

  • Don’t drive over 1 hour to meet someone if you are in a bad mood. It is best to say you are sick and cancel it.
  • Let the lady choose where to sit.
  • Ask the lady some questions. If you don’t have anything nice to say or don’t know how to make conversation ask questions.
  • Don’t talk politics or any sensitive subjects on the first date.
  • Don’t make her feel like she is being high maintenance, specially if you have any intentions of asking her on a second date.

My advice to myself on my next first date:

  • Who am I kidding, No advice, I am perfect 😊
  • Continue being yourself
  • Continue asking for what you want
  • Continue knowing your worth
  • Continue being high maintenance and ordering what you want, how you want
  • 1 advice, next time insist on where to sit

In the end, I am glad I went, so I can move on to the next, knowing he was not the one.

I want to be looked at like I am the only person that matters in the world at that moment. To the right guy I am not high maintenance, I am quirky.  He will not be slobbering while looking at me,  he will have a twinkle in his eye. He will be interested in what I have to say.  He will ask questions and not rant about all that is wrong in the world. Because, sitting in front of him, is all that is right in the world.  And for that guy I am willing to wait forever and a day!

 

 

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Online dating: rejection reasons

10 Sunday Oct 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 54 Comments

Tags

e-harmony, finding Prince Charming, Love-hate relationship, match.com, OKCupid, online dating world, reasons why I rejected a date, reasons why I was rejected

“The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” ― Albert Einstein

I have a love-hate relationship with online dating.  I love the idea of being proactive and  not sitting around waiting for someone to knock on my door.  I love meeting people that I wouldn’t normally meet on my day to day life.

I dislike a lot about it.  I hate all the catfish and fake profiles. I hate the people that are not serious about meeting someone.  I hate the time and energy that I need to put into it to come away with one or two good dates.

At the moment, I am only on OKCupid.  It is by far the dating site I like the least.  I have been on E-harmony, Plenty of Fish and Match prior to OKC.   I am normally able to find interesting people to meet, but so far here it has been slim pickings.

Perhaps I shouldn’t blame only the site. I can blame Covid.  I need to take some of the blame also.  I go through phases.  Phases of putting more energy into it, and phases of not having patience for it.  Lately, I lack time, energy and patience.

“You walk like others? You talk like others? You think like others? Then the world doesn’t need you because others are already abundant in the world! Be original!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

Here are some of the reasons why I chose not to meet someone after we matched online and started exchanging messages:

  • All he did was badmouth his ex-wife.  I didn’t ask or invited the topic, but he kept finding reasons to mention her.  I don’t appreciate that.
  • HIs finances are a disaster.  He volunteered that he has tons of credit card bills and lost his home due to overspending.   I appreciated the honesty, but don’t want to embark on that sinking ship.
  • He lived too far and expected me to drive to him to meet for the first time.  He said we could meet by a coffee shop near the highway.  How was that supposed to be enticing to me, I will never know.
  • He never called me by name.  It was always honey, sweetie, babes, etc, in a way that felt condescending. It just rubbed me the wrong way.
  • He was a show off and thought he knew it all.  I couldn’t get a word in.  It was all about his exotic vacations, expensive cars and artwork. It was all very unattractive to me.
  • He couldn’t make conversation or form a sentence.  In texting it was only abbreviations and slangs. There was never any real conversation.
  • He was too young.  Even though he seemed like a great person, more than 20 years difference is just too young.  Tempting, very tempting.
  • He lied about being older.  After sharing phone numbers and scheduling a date, I found out that he was over 70 years old.  On his profile it said he was 62.  I didn’t appreciate only finding that out because I asked. What else was he not telling me?
  • He was too slow to respond.  He said he was very busy, only sending a message on the app every other week. I am very busy, but if someone interests me, I make the time.
  • He wanted to speak on the phone and text forever, always being too busy to meet. I don’t want nightly phone calls with somebody I never met and doesn’t have time to meet.
  • He had 5 kids by 3 different women.  It just felt too much for me.

“I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be okay with being different, and with being this alive, this intense. (xxvi)” ― Eve Ensler, I Am an Emotional Creature

Here are some of the reasons why they chose not to meet me or continue exchanging messages:

  • I didn’t want to give him my phone number right away.  I like to know something about the person before speaking on the phone or texting.  His initial message was: Hi, what is your number?
  • I mentioned I don’t pay or split the check on a date, specially the first date.  He said that I am not a modern woman.
  • I was not willing to have a first date at his house. He said I was uptight and not fun.
  • I didn’t want to talk on the phone every night.  He felt I was not interested in him enough.
  • I was too much of an adventurist.  I said in my profile that I was adventurous.  What is adventurist anyway?
  • I was not interested in his attempts at sexting. He said he was looking for someone more fun.
  • I was vaccinated. The moment he found out I was vaccinated all he did was talk about Eugenics and depopulation agenda.

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” ― Margaret Mead

Am I too picky, or perhaps just overqualified for the job of girlfriend?  I am happy as is, and that makes it difficult to add a person to that situation.

It is a matter of what feels good to me and my heart.  Who makes my heart sing, who makes me feel comfortable and at home.  Who makes me feel special.  Perhaps I am antiquated in my dating views, but I am sure there is an antiquated guy out there for me.

Someone pointed out to me at this rate I am going to end up alone.  I joked: “That is not a problem.  I love my own company”.  Well, I do!

And on that note, I am leaving now for a brunch date.  Will report late.

“Journey to the Heart of Beauty; do not be obsessed with mental and egoic ideas of form and perfection. Get your hands and feet dirty, dance in the rain, and rejoice in the Life that is Living Itself through the Uniqueness of You!” ― Laurence Galian, The Sun At Midnight: The Revealed Mysteries Of The Ahlul Bayt Sufis

 

 

 

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The implied and inferred meaning of a hug

16 Thursday Sep 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

acceptance or rejection, extra sensitive, implied vs. inferred, no extra meanings, Texting miscommunications, to hug or not to hug

“I had embraced you…
long before i hugged you.”
― Sanober Khan, A Thousand Flamingos

Mr. Stocks and I continue to text. Unfortunately we often have some sort of miscommunication or misunderstanding.  Now, I come to find out, not only my words, but also my actions are being misunderstood.

I thought it was a pleasant hug goodbye, with a potential future.  He thought it was a rejection. 

The texting starts when he is letting me know about his decision about a job offer that he had been considering.

I am not sure what the next chapter will be, but I am proceeding with caution.  I don’t want to hurt him or get hurt, or worst of all, damage the friendship.

I think he is more sensitive than other guys.  Or perhaps more insecure, and more afraid of getting hurt.

“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” ― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

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Dinner with Mr. Stocks

12 Sunday Sep 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 42 Comments

Tags

bright future, friendship or romance, Gilda Radner, Le provencal, Life is fun., Life is joy, meeting an old new friend, Milk N Cookies

“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.” ― Groucho Marx

He offered to pick me up and I agreed.  At 7pm he was standing outside my building. We smiled and hugged. It felt familiar and comfortable. 

He drove a small, vintage, or just old, Porsche. One of those cars that is hard to get in and out of it.  It reminded me of my old vintage Mercedes.  It even smelled the same: a combination of old leather and burning oil.

I asked him to choose the restaurant. He chose a French one called Le Provencal, located in Mamaroneck.  So happens, it is the same restaurant ex took me for my birthday on our second date.

On the way there I told him that and he offered to go someplace else. I wanted to go there anyway and make new memories.

When we got there the restaurant was empty, so we got to choose our table.  He wanted a table in the middle, but I opted for one in a corner.  It felt cozier.  It was the right choice.

The meal: We both had a cocktail made of elderberry.  It was delicious.  We shared an onion and bacon tart as an appetizer.  He had coq au vin with mashed potatoes and asparagus.  I had John Dory fish (who knew there was a fish with that name?) with eggplant caviar and spinach.  I love eggplant, so I was intrigued by the eggplant caviar. It was a major disappointment.  It was a pate of eggplant with tons of cinnamon.  

I didn’t want dessert at the restaurant.  I got a lemon tart with raspberry coulis to take to my sister.

“I got you to look after me, and you got me to look after you, and that’s
why.” ― John Steinbeck, Of Mice and Men

The conversation:  There was not a single boring or awkward moment. We talked about everything.  We talked about work, vacations, finances, sports, etc. We had a lot fun. 

We both agreed that we were having fun and that we were the same in person, as we have been in the phone, for all these years.  He said I am exactly what he expected:  confident, intelligent, full of life and above all, happy.  He had my name listed as “Happy Ana” in his phone. 

I expected to have a great time, but it was surprisingly even more fun than I expected.

At one point he asked if we were on a date.  I hesitated, but then said: no.  I reminded him that from the beginning he had mentioned he was not open to romance.  We had become friends, and this, to me, was a dinner with a friend.  He seemed disappointed, but understood. 

He said that he is in a better place as of 6 months ago.  I guess he forgot to mention that to me.  Not that it would make a difference.  He became a friend, and once that happens I am not sure I want to risk a friendship for a potential romance.

“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.” ― Groucho Marx

After dinner:  We decided to take a walk around and look for a place to have dessert.  We went to Milk N Cookies and got some cookies to take home.  Then we stop at a Paleteria and got ice cream on the way to the car.

He drove me home.  He got out and opened the door for me, We hugged good bye.

Later he texted me to say what an amazing time he had.  I said I did too.

“Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough.” ― Emily Dickinson

The future:  I have no idea, but I feel I met a great friend in person. We will meet up again, and hopefully it will not take another 5 years 🙂  

Yesterday he sent me a video that he said reminded him of me.  He said I should share it with my sister.  At first I didn’t get it.  My sister thought it was a commentary about the difference in our hair.  Her with the crazy curly dark hair, and me with the lighter, straight hair.

He said it was not about that and explained:

He is not wrong! 🙂

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” ― Marianne Williamson

 

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The prelude to the Unmasking of Mr. Stock

10 Friday Sep 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Fiction

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

anonymous friends, finally meeting, getting used to disfunction, masked and unmasked, online dating, plenty of fish

Disclaimer: I am writing this post in 2 parts due to lack of time, so please forgive me for that.

“If you wear a mask for too long, there will come a time when you can not remove it without removing your face.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo

It is hard to say exactly when I first started speaking to Mr. Stock (that is what I will call him here).  We met on the dating site Plenty of Fish.

At first he said he was not ready to meet anyone and was only there to make friends.  He sounded vague in his messages, but still, I started exchanging messages with him. Perhaps it was because I love making new friends, and also, I felt a certain compassion towards him.  He felt safe and harmless.

I detected some underlining pain. A pain, that according to him, he wasn’t ready to talk about, but that, slowly, revealed bits and pieces of it.  Much later I learned that he was dealing with the long illness and, eventual passing of his wife.  He hinted at also having some social anxieties and not being comfortable in crowds. I am not sure if the anxiety came about from the grief or was already an issue prior to that.

“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

I am not sure what we talked about at that point.  Perhaps the weather.  I do remember, at times, being annoyed that we would never meet. We are only 30 minutes apart, so I didn’t understand why we couldn’t meet as friends. At times I would stop replying to him, but would give in and reply anytime he reached out.

Eventually I got off of POF, and gave him my number.  We would say hello every couple of months or so. We would have disagreements. I don’t deal well with negativism, and sometimes he was in that mode.  His unwillingness to see the beauty in life annoyed me.  My optimism was too much for him.

Still, we would always check in with each other.  He would talk about meeting every now and then, saying that he was going to try.  But after so many times I just never believed it would happen.  I had made peace with being phone/text friends.

Months, years passed.

One day I asked him a question about stocks, since he is an investor.  He loves talking about stocks.  From that day on, we speak and text more often.  He would often talk about meeting and teaching me about stocks in person.

Every time he would say something about meeting, I would think about The Boy Who Cried Wolf.  I never thought we would meet, and honestly, by now, I didn’t care.

“Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.” ― Khalil Gibran

A couple of weeks ago, he mentioned he was on vacation and then texted: “Just make sure we go to dinner while I’m on vacation”

That text infuriated me. I let him know how mad I was.  To me it implied I had control about meeting or not. Also, it implied we had never met before because of work. It also felt that “meeting”, was always a carrot that was being dangled in front of me.  I don’t like carrots!

We talked it out, and he said it was miscommunication and he would try to meet.  In his mind he had decided to meet months ago but had been too busy with work.

Last Saturday at 7pm he asked if I wanted to meet for dinner or something.  First, I was surprised and second, I was annoyed.  After so long, you don’t just ask me out last minute like that.  I said that I was not free, but said I was available the following day. He said he was not sure about the next day because of the Jewish holiday. I said ok, and I meant okay.

On Sunday,  at 11am he wrote to see if I wanted to go out for dinner, drinks or anything else that evening.  I agreed to dinner and asked him to pick a place in my area.

I thought he would cancel it. I was willing to bet that it wouldn’t happen.  I was ready to get the cancelation phone call.

But it did!

to be continued…

“Masquerades disclose the reality of souls. As long as no one sees who we are, we can tell the most intimate details of our life. I sometimes muse over this sketch of a story about a man afflicted by one of those personal tragedies born of extreme shyness who one day, while wearing a mask I don’t know where, told another mask all the most personal, most secret, most unthinkable things that could be told about his tragic and serene life. And since no outward detail would give him away, he having disguised even his voice, and since he didn’t take careful note of whoever had listened to him, he could enjoy the ample sensation of knowing that somewhere in the world there was someone who knew him as not even his closest and finest friend did. When he walked down the street he would ask himself if this person, or that one, or that person over there might not be the one to whom he’d once, wearing a mask, told his most private life. Thus would be born in him a new interest in each person, since each person might be his only, unknown confidant.” ― Fernando Pessoa

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Some tennis watching and a back massage

08 Wednesday Sep 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

annoying phone calls, Arthur Ashe Stadium, Billy Jean King Tennis Center, foot and back massages, Honey Deuce drink, Jamie Murray, Novak Djokovic, synchronicities, the Universe is listening, US Open Tennis

“Everyone has the fire, but the champions know when to ignite the spark.” ― Amit Ray, Enlightenment Step by Step

This Labor Day weekend, similar to prior years, except 2020, I went to the US Open on Saturday. 

I was pleasantly surprised that there were almost no lines to get in.  They checked the vaccination card and tickets very quickly.  There were some people with masks but the majority had no masks.  It felt freeing.

This time I wasn’t too excited to attend, as my two favorite players weren’t there:  Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams.  I need to find new favorites.

I do have a Brazilian player left in tournament, Bruno Soares.  He is in the Men’s Doubles semi-final, playing with Jamie Murray (Andy’s older brother).  I am not sure who they are playing against, but I will be watching that match.  

The weather was perfect.  While there, we had  a great lunch at The Mojito Restaurant.  They make the best yucca fries.  Inside the stadium we had Honey Deuce, the official drink of the US Open while watching the Novak Djokovic/Kei Nishikori match. Novak won. I was not happy.  Still it was a great match.

“Life has but one true charm: the charm of the game. But what if we’re indifferent to whether we win or lose?” ― Charles Baudelaire

One new and interesting thing is that there are no line judges anymore.  There is the chair umpire only. The line calls are made with the Hawk-Eye electronic line-calling.  The electronic voice that yells “OUT”, can be female or male, depending on what the other courts that are near are using, so not to confuse the players. 

It makes a big difference.  There are no longer challenges, which eliminates a lot of the drama.  I used to enjoy some of the drama though 🙂

On Sunday I went to Wegmans grocery store for the first time.  It is new in my area, and some people were raving about it.  It was a good store, but I don’t get excited about grocery stores. After lunch I got a back massage.

While I was getting a massage, I was just trying to relax and think of nothing.  It is an impossibility for me. While fighting random thoughts, the Jewish Holiday, Rosh Hashanah came to mind.  I thought to myself that I should text B. a Happy New Year.

B., is a woman that was very helpful to me in my first years in the U.S. We helped each other, but her coming into my life helped me achieve everything I have today.  

Last time I texted her she didn’t reply.  I don’t need a reply to text someone. I made a point of holding on to that thought to text her when my massage was over. 

After the 1 hour massage, with thoughts of what is for dinner, and no longer thinking of B.  I picked up my phone and I am shocked to see I have a missed call from her.  At the moment I was thinking about her, she was calling me.  I love the little  synchronicities of the Universe.  The Universe is always listening.

I called her back. She apologized for not texting back. We talked for a little bit.  Everything felt right in the world.

“Our intentions attract the elements and forces, the events, the situations, the circumstances, and the relationships necessary to fulfill the intended outcome.We don’t need to become involved in the details—in fact, trying too hard may backfire.It requires attention, and it also requires detachment. Once you have created the intention mindfully, you must be able to detach from the outcome, and let the universe handle the details of fulfilment.”
― Deepak Chopra, Synchrodestiny: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence to Create Miracles

On Monday I had dinner with someone that I have been speaking online for the past 6 years, and had never met before.  I am going to write about it next. Was it a good or bad meeting? Stay tuned to find out.

 

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Work in progress, or just unfinished?

17 Tuesday Aug 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

canceled dates, Learning French, online dating, poems of Rumi, Rumi, unfinished post

“It is wise to master your self, but it is wiser to leave a few rogue thoughts, some few doubts, and some loose ends. It is into the wild and unfinished places that we can grow.” ― Chris Ernest Nelson

I have so many posts started, on topics such as “How to break up with a friend”, “Do I really need a pap smear every year?”, and everything else in between.

I start writing about something and go off to do something else. By the time I get back to it, hours or days later, it doesn’t feel fresh anymore.  That topic is not at the forefront of my mind anymore.

I don’t want to serve you guys anything stale 🙂  So it is pretty much your fault lol

Perhaps I should get back to all those drafts and either finish it and post it, or just delete it. I may be on to something here.  I have drafts from when this blog started in 2012.

“I keep turning over new leaves, and spoiling them, as I used to spoil my copybooks; and I make so many beginnings there never will be an end. (Jo March)” ― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women

Moving on for now.  I continue my streak of canceled dates. If it is not one thing, it is another.  Mostly it seems that it is becoming harder to actually schedule a date.  Everyone wants to talk on the phone, then becomes all confused about meeting up.

I guess I am growing impatient in my old age 🙂  I want someone that will take charge and not be wishy-washy.  I want someone that will be direct and make plans.  Plans that actually take into account that I am a woman, and that this is our first meeting.  

Lately, I feel I am getting all the lazy guys.  If they can’t drive 30 minutes to see me now, what kind of effort will they put into the relationship?

Where are all those guys that drove over 1 hour to see me?

oh, yeah, I remember… I didn’t like them in person. 😦

“Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic.” ― Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

The last guy that went bust, last week, after we had decided on a Friday night date, wrote me:  “You don’t mind coming to Harlem, do you?

Sure (eye rolling), I would love to go to Harlem on a Saturday night to meet someone for the first time!  I am sure there are great places in Harlem, but also scary ones too if you don’t know where you are going.

I wrote back: “Actually, I do mind.”  He never replied again.  

That was easy!  That shows his level of interest to begin with.

In the meantime, life has been so busy with work, mosaics, friends, gym again, and learning French.  Yes, I am going to parle Français once and for all.

I am not discouraged from dating.  Everything in life ebbs and flows. 

“I want to see you.

Know your voice.

Recognize you when you
first come ’round the corner.

Sense your scent when I come
into a room you’ve just left.

Know the lift of your heel,
the glide of your foot.

Become familiar with the way
you purse your lips
then let them part,
just the slightest bit,
when I lean in to your space
and kiss you.

I want to know the joy
of how you whisper
“more”
― Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi

 

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Somewhat like a flower

21 Wednesday Jul 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Mosaic and other crafts

≈ 47 Comments

Tags

busy and bored, flowers and crafts, mosaic pieces, mosaic tecniques

“Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world’s weight he had never chosen to bear.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

Hello, I hope everyone has been well. There is a lot going on here, and at the same time, nothing.  If that makes any sense at all.

I canceled two dates.  The two men were both annoying me for different reasons so I decided not to meet them.  I have been on this canceling phase for some reason. It will pass. 

I am meeting my friend Anthony tonight.  I miss him and our conversations, so I am looking forward to it.  He nourishes me spiritually.  Thanks heavens for the friends that brighten our lives.

“Feelings are for the soul what food is for the body.” ― Rudolf Steiner, How to Know Higher Worlds: A Modern Path of Initiation

I have finished two mosaics pieces.  One is below, and and the other will be on the next post.

I think I am the lazy mosaic maker.  I often start with a canvas with already a design there and frame, and go from there.  I have been told canvas don’t work  for mosaics but it has been working for me.  

I have been trying different materials and techniques.  I see growth and it feels great.

It looks better in person, I promise 🙂 The colors don’t look quite right in the pictures.

“That which causes us trials shall yield us triumph: and that which make our hearts ache shall fill us with gladness. The only true happiness is to learn, to advance, and to improve: which could not happen unless we had commenced with error, ignorance, and imperfection. We must pass through the darkness, to reach the light.” ― Albert Pike

 

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