“There will be no New Year for those who keep living in the older years! If you really want to enter a new year, shot all the doors behind you and stick yourself to the New Year where everything is ready for you to be designed by you! Every man is an artist and every artist has the power to create infinite things; just be in the present time and design your life! No man can design his life by being in the past because present time is the only studio we can do our work!” -― Mehmet Murat ildan

2019 is here!  Now what?  Now we get to forget all the failures of 2018 and have a whole year to be successful. How exciting: A whole year to make new memories!

I want to do more this year.  More of everything. More dating, more exercise, more reading, and more writing. I want to live more.  When I die I don’t want to leave any living on the table.  No regrets!

*** DATING

Mr. M. We had a couple of dates. He is a 60 year old executive in the health industry.  We kissed on the second date and it was okay.  The earth didn’t move, but I wouldn’t mind being kissed again.  Then things fizzled.  I think he wanted me to be more aggressive and ask for a third date. I am not that into him to go after him.

Mr. J.  He is a construction engineer and we are having a first date tonight.  I don’t know much about him. We both enjoy skiing, that is what I am most excited about since I am dying to go skiing.  Perhaps we will hit off and plan some skiing trip.

Mr. A.  He is a psychologist. We have been exchanging email where he is mostly instructing me about Meditation and some other spiritual stuff.  It has been fascinating.  I think this will be a beautiful and rewarding friendship.  We are not talking about meeting yet but it will happen in due time.

I am open to meeting great minds and great hearts. I love meeting people that are open to sharing their knowledge with me. In that sense I am a sponge. Everyone is a teacher, and I am always ready to learn.

Mr. R.  We had a date last year then he disappeared.  He is now back asking me out for a drink.  I didn’t say no yet, but I don’t think I want to revisit the past.  He explained why he disappeared but even if he hadn’t disappeared I probably wouldn’t have gone on a second date.  He is smart and funny but we had zero chemistry.  I am going to offer friendship.

“Why did you do all this for me?’ he asked. ‘I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.’ ‘You have been my friend,’ replied Charlotte. ‘That in itself is a tremendous thing.” ― E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

I have been hanging out a lot with my friend A. We have definitely become great friends.  Remember, he is the friend that I kissed on occasion, but that I decided not to do it anymore. A kiss is harmless, but why do it if we don’t care for each other in that way?

On Sunday we went to the sauna, to a juice bar and then Starbucks.  We skipped the gym.  We had been there on Saturday and my hip was not happy.  Then in the evening he invited me to go to an Ethiopian Restaurant.  The food was good and I enjoyed giving it a try, but it is not at the top of my favorite cuisines.

After the restaurant he wanted to go to a specific bar, but it was closed.  He then asked if I wanted to go see his apartment, which I have never been to before even though it is only a 5 minute drive from my home.  I have been curious to see his apartment as I am always curious to see how people live but I decided to decline the invitation.  I didn’t want to be in a situation where he would try to kiss me and I would have to refuse. He would respect that I am sure but it would be awkward.  We have a great friendship going, why chance it? We joke and flirt but at the end of the day we both just want to be friends.

***

On the first day of the year I had lazy day, then in the late afternoon my sister and I went to the movies. We saw The Green Book.  It was awesome.  It is a road trip where differences disappear and hardships unite.  Ultimately, to me, it was about friendship. It is about recognizing that we are all the same in our core.  Everyone just trying to survive and be happy.   It is a message of respect and kindness. I highly recommend it.

“Sometimes, I feel discriminated against, but it does not make me angry. It merely astonishes me. How can any deny themselves the pleasure of my company? It’s beyond me.” ― ZORA NEALE HURSTON