Tags
brunch dates, Cuban food, Dating, hints of chemistry, older woman younger man, online dating, relationships, second date
“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” – Mark Twain
On Saturday I met my doctor friend for brunch. As I mentioned before we dated a few times 2 years ago and then things fizzled. Still every now and then we would talk or text.
After being too busy to meet the last few times he asked we met for brunch 2 weeks ago and it was fun. After one week he called and invited me to brunch again.
We went to the restaurant we always go to. In the past we tried different ones only to decide that this is our favorite. It was a Saturday and the place was quieter then on Sundays.
We were there from 12 to 4 pm. We drank a divine prosecco and talked about life. We challenge each other to think deeper and look further. We talk about everything, self-improvement, family, fears, wants, ego, karma, etc.
At one point he put his hand on my leg near my knee. He asked if I was okay with that. It may seem funny or weird, but I was okay with that. I knew it would not go anywhere so it presented no danger or awkwardness to me. I think the prosecco made him do it. I think the prosecco made me say ok.
At one point he was texting. I would normally not say anything to anyone about using their cell phone at the table, even if it bothered me but since we are always talking about being present and in the moment, I said:
Don’t you think you are being rude?
He apologized and said I was right and explained what he was texting about. He turned his phone off for the rest of the lunch.
I think he and I have an easy friendship that I don’t intend to change into anything else, hand on my leg or not.
***
“There is very little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude.” – W. Clement Stone
On Sunday I met a graphic designer I met on Match. This was our first date.
We both got there 30 minutes early. Him by design, me because I thought the agreed time was 12:00 instead of the actual 12:30.
I had scrambled eggs and a coffee as I was still not able to eat a lot food.
He was handsome, nice, personable and smart. But I didn’t really feel an attraction, a connection. Our lifestyle and life wants are different. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate the differences in people but in this case it would frustrate me.
He is very laid back and I feel I would have to be the one in charge of the relationship. I have been the one in charge of relationships in the past and I don’t want to do it again.
I say that not as criticism of him but just to point out why I think we are not a match.
He said he liked me and said he wanted to go on a second date, but hasn’t called yet, which I find it is often the case. I think he and most guys, wants me to call them back or say something first. Sadly he will have to wait forever.
****
I have just returned from a date tonight. He is a 34 year old Jewish accountant. Yes I said 34!!! I am 51!! So there is a bit of age difference. He is recently divorced with no kids.
Of course I think our age difference is too much for a relationship but I didn’t think there was any harm in meeting for a drink.
We were going to meet at a rooftop bar but it was closed for a private event so we just crossed the street and went to a Cuban restaurant.
M. was fun, personable, and cute in a boyish way. There were some hints of chemistry. I had a passion fruit drink and appetizer of beef and fried yucca, and they were delicious. After it, he walked me to the station.
On the way, suddenly, he stopped and kissed me. I still have stitches in my gum from my surgery, still I welcomed the surprising gesture.
We will see each other again, if anything to just settle a bet. We bet $5.00 on the Jet/Chiefs game on Sunday. I picked the Chiefs.
“Kissing – and I mean like, yummy, smacking kissing – is the most delicious, most beautiful and passionate thing that two people can do, bar none. Better than sex, hands down.” – Drew Barrymore
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. I’m glad to finally hear of some positive dates versus some of the previous weirdness.
Do you want a boyfriend, to get married or casually I date? Just wondering. I knew when I was on Match I wanted to get married. I dated 2 guys seriously –not at the same time — but the relationships just didn’t work out.
I eventually met my now husband through a shared friend. There were no immediate spark between him and me.
I don’t know what I would do if I had to join the dating scene again. Thank you again for letting me live vicariously through you! ☺
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Thank YOU for reading and always giving me your insight!
That is a great question that I have been asking myself lately. I want companionship and a committed relationship. I know myself and I know that I can’t have just a casual relationship even though it seems my life it would be so much easier if I could. That is one of the reasons that I know that a 34 yr old is not for me, as it would be fun for awhile but I know I would get attached emotionally; and I know it would never be a long term thing.
Stay tuned… Wishing you a blessed weekend! 🙂
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❤❤❤❤❤
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Hi Star, Although I always enjoy reading your posts, but in many ways I find you to be a complete enigma… Just where, why, & how do you manage to find all the required energy for all this dating/re-dating stuff? Swear that try as I might, I couldn’t & wouldn’t even want to waste my time & resources on most of these shallow players who could be probably “sussed-out” by a simple video call on Skype. Please don’t misread the intent of my post as any kind of personal put-down as nothing could be further from the truth.
I ‘m just overwhelmingly curious as to wonder what the “pay-off” is for yourself in the efforts you put forth on these dating or, re-dating experiences?-[*besides, the obvious answer of collecting fresh material from which to write an amusing blog:].
*grins*
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Hi, No worries I do not take offense by anything you said. I welcome all questions and different points of view. I actually hear those questions from friends all the time.
Why do I do all this dating? I am not sure if I know the exact answer. I know that I want to find companionship. Dating online exposes me to people that I would not normally meet on my day to day. I do get tired some times and that is why I do take some time off now and then. But then I miss it and get back to it. I am hopeful that I will find the one, so I may be searching forever.
I never Skype, as it is some guys only want to talk on the phone, so I can already see that some guys would want to only Skype. Also I can online tell chemistry face to face.
The pay off to me is the experience. The different people that I meet always teach me something new about myself. I think I have had more good experiences than bad. I have met some great guys but there was zero chemistry. Also I like to feel that I am being pro-active and not waiting for someone to knock on my door.
I don’t think I have been putting a lot effort lately, I am creative and practical, for example: I was going to Verizon this afternoon so I scheduled a date at Starbucks next door. I invested 30 minutes. To me that was worth it on the off chance he was the one. He was not!
I also like the entertainment, and I do like dressing up some times.
By the way I don’t write about every single day, such as the one today. While he was nice and interested there was nothing remarkable about it. I am trying to write more, and yes date more:-)
Thank you so much for the reading and for giving me your insight. Wishing you a blessed week! 🙂
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this is creative, with great details and lines!!
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Thank you! 🙂
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Hi!
I love Mark Twain. I’m a teacher; I’ve taught two of his books. Thanks for quoting him.
I met you at Jason’s Meet and Greet.
Maybe you can check out my blog if you need any blogging tips. That’s what I write about. I also have blog parties like Jason.
Janice
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Always delighted and giddy to read about your daring life! I came across this article that reminded me of what I went thru http://www.mindvsbrain.com/8-reasons-why-the-most-incredible-women-often-have-the-worst-dating-lives-2/…and I love that you are enjoying each moment! Personally, I’m rooting for the younger guys haha…but that’s just because of my own experiences 🙂 love your blog!
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I loved reading that!! Thank you for always giving me feedback and support! For some reason I can’t always get your blog. Right now it says that the domain is for sale lol
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Awwwwwww!!!!! I love hearing of your adventures!! Always inspiring!! My domain changed to pinkninjabi.WordPress.com I think as I didn’t renew the domain u buy haha…..hugssss…
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oh okay, I will check it out!!
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Hi,
I left you a comment about how much I liked your mark twain quote but I don’t see it here. I like your Drew Barrymore quote also. I am a fan of both of them.
I met you at Jason’s blog party. If you need any blogging tips, maybe you can check out my blog. That’s what I write about. I also have blog parties like Jason I blog over at https://mostlyblogging.com.
Janice
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Made me wonder if “will this be long lasting and/or romantic ?” is a sensible question if that is what we are looking for or just open to. Does this have to be the exclusive standard by which we critique our dating ? Oh it can but I think what about friends/buddies relationship with someone with whom we would not marry. Of course both must be on the same page on that. Often if we do progress to sex, the friend relationship usually weakens to something of less value yet perhaps intimacy on a positive plane. I am divorced over 30 years ago and there were relationships but nothing long standing. Parents moved in with me 2002 (mother passed 2012 dad still with me, 94) and have not dated since then. It just would not fit to start something . Now at 68 , romance seems far out of the question. I don’t think I’d like the two old people thing anyway. Find fulfillment in other things: children,grandchildren, blogging, reading, church, lodge, arts and crafts. Barren of love/companionship but safe and uncomplicated. I do fear being alone though esp in emergency.
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Hi Carl
I often ask myself what I really want, a casual relationship or something committed and long lasting? I like the ideal of something casual and just for fun, but I know myself and I know that I get emotionally attached
I do enjoy now a couple of platonic relationship with a couple of guys that I have met online. I enjoy male friends. I still hope to find companionship but if it never happens I am okay with that too.
Good for you for being there for your parents! I do understand that situation because I have thoughts of giving up life here to go take care of my parents. I know that if/when that happens my dating days will be over, so I am enjoying it now as much as I can.
Safe and uncomplicated, that does define my single life and I am only willing to let that go for the right person. There is nothing safe about falling in love but extremely rewarding.
You never know what will happen, you may be crossing the street tomorrow and meet someone. Never give up on love, leave the door open for the unexpected.
Thank you for sharing yourself with me and my readers! Wishing you a blessed week! 🙂
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Wonderful for you. Still think you should just move here and we work things out, but it’s okay, I understand! I hope you see this young man again. I wish to see a woman of about that same age. Haven’t met her yet, but I can wait…
Scott
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Hi Scott,
That is an idea!
I have to meet him to pay the bet I lost and to go to this one bakery to get some cookies. But I have already told him that I am not sure about dating. The age difference is just too much.
Good luck on meeting this new person! Blessings! 🙂
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