Do you know what happened when I let down my guard for one second? I had the date from hell!
I normally don’t take long to decide to go on a date with someone, but by the time I set a date I already know a lot about him, as I am the queen of Googling and finding information about people. This time I didn’t bother doing any research. We spoke on the phone and he seemed okay. I figured there would be no harm in meeting him for lunch on a Sunday a couple of blocks from my home.
He seemed very secure and very accomplished so I was curious about him. The date started okay. Before I got to the restaurant he spoke to the chef and pre-ordered a few small plates. He said he didn’t want to waste our time together reading the menu. The problem with that is that he continued to remind me throughout the date how nice and considerate he was by doing that. Right away upon meeting him I asked to see a picture of his daughters. He showed me pictures and a video of the youngest, a 4 year old. He found at least 2 women to have kids with – That is a crazy thought after what I have seen!
He kept listing his accomplishments and knowledge. He was indeed knowledgeable, but really accomplished people don’t have the need to flaunt it. I also had to hear countless times about his antique yacht, antique Ferrari, and all other antiques he owned. He said no women (or man for that matter) could ever intrigue him or teach him anything because he knows everything – yes, he did say that more than once. Still I continued to sit there and listen with an open mind. I kept hoping that eventually we would start talking about something more interesting than himself (perhaps me – Lol) .
I kept thinking that perhaps he was just a tad eccentric and not a total jerk. Some people are so intelligent that they are a little lost in social situations and seem a little disconnected with reality. I was willing to give him that. I knew we had no future but still I was still trying to keep an open mind and was looking for the lesson. I am all about learning. Can he teach me something? Well he taught me to be more careful next time and to follow my instincts.
He mentioned how beautiful and sexy I was but that was the extent of his interest in me or whatever I had to say. Don’t read too much into him finding me pretty, he also mentioned he was handsome and there was nothing handsome about him. Anyway, who says out loud that they find themselves handsome?
He was already planning the 2nd date: kayaking near his home and 3rd: a seafood meal in City Island (a small island not far from my home).
Still he seemed considerate to the staff in the beginning. Later he complained that they had lowered the AC and raised the music in an effort to get us to leave. That is when I said we should leave because I felt he was going to actually make a big deal of that.
As we were walking in my neighborhood towards my front door he kept pointing out some issues with the design of some Mercedes tires and disks (yes, among many specialties he is also a specialist in Mercedes). While pointing at a car, a man standing next to it asked him if there was something wrong with the car. I didn’t find a problem with the question or tone of it. I too would be curious if someone was standing next to my car and pointing at it. My date took issue with the question, he said: Why, are you the owner? His tone was rude and confrontational. I shrank. The man said no. He proceeded to say that the guy was clearly lying and that he was the owner. I made sure to keep walking so he had no choice but to walk away with me, pointing out to me that that is one of problems with the US, liars like that man.
At that moment I decided I was never going to see this man again (I was willing to put up with a know it all, but I draw the line at rudeness and lack of social skills and social awareness)
I should have said good bye at that point, but no, instead I continued to go and show him my favorite fruit store. From there we walked a block to my apartment. Here is another big mistake: When we stopped at the entrance door to my building I blurred out that I wanted to go across the street to the dollar store to get a folding chair.
So we crossed the street and went there. The usual store keepers weren’t there and the ones that were there were a bit confused. They kept tried telling me what kind of chair I wanted. I told them that the chair I wanted was not on the floor and needed to be retrieved from upstairs. I am the world’s most impatient person but still that didn’t bother me. But my date kept getting increasingly upset.
Finally they bring the chair I want down, but now the problem is they don’t know the price. I tell them I paid $10.00, but they say they still need to call the boss. I am okay with that, perhaps is cheaper than that. My date is going crazy at this time.
He starts telling me that now they are not only wasting my time but they are also calling me a liar. I am not answering him or engaging him and that’s when he turns to the young man behind the counter and asks him why all the merchandise don’t have prices on and if he understand that that is illegal. Whatever answer the guy gave him was not good enough. Now he is telling him that he is a professor of Finance and he knows more about that subject than him. When the man tries to interject and say something my date became furious. He then says the guy was rude and should not talk to him like an equal as they are not equal and he is at a much higher level. How dare him talk to him like they are on the same level, and it kept escalating. At one point he called the man an animal.
I was shocked, I froze. I couldn’t believe I was listening to those words. At this point I felt like I was on that TV show: “What would you do?” and I am ashamed to say that I have failed. When I watch the show I always like to believe that I am going to be the person that is going to speak up and defend others. I didn’t! All I wanted was to get out and not let the situation get any worst.
At that point I just walk out and he follows me continue to spew his indignation, he kept going on and on on how he is going to report that store.; how he is going to make phone calls and close it down. How he knows the governor and they all know him. He says that he will write a letter and that in less than 2 months that store, and all others affiliated will be closed.
I still cannot believe what just transpired, well, it is still transpiring, because he is still talking. I am thinking of how I can escape, so finally I cut him off and I just say good bye. He leaves telling me he is going to call me to schedule the second date.
I am relieved and run inside. Was that just a dream? I mean, nightmare.
I am embarrassed and wished I had behaved differently. The man behind the counter in the store was an immigrant like me; so it is an additional reason why I should have stood up for him. I should have said to my date how delusional he was being. Still I am not sure if I would do things differently next time. I think he has serious mental issues that need to be addressed and I am not qualified to do it.
I didn’t go back to the store yet. I still want the chair. Perhaps I should tell them that I have no idea who that guy was and that he just followed me in. 🙂
That experience was surreal, scary, and served as an eye-opener. All my dates are mostly nice normal men so I was starting to get careless about doing my homework before meeting someone. I actually considered never doing online dating again. That thought lasted a total of 5 minutes. I realized that there are jerks everywhere. I realized I am blessed for having seen this man’s true colors right away.
Right now I am getting ready for a date that sounds amazing. I know everything about him. He is a well respected children’s librarian. How bad can he be? Don’t answer that! lol