We still don’t have electricity in our offices, so today we bought laptops and rented a conference room at the Hilton Hotel.  We managed to get some work done. Some things happen and inconveniences us, but it also make us realize how blessed we are. I hope I can take this experience and use it not to take my day to day for granted.

**

I have been struggling with my wanting to reach out to Ex and make sure that him and C (the dog) are okay.  He lives in a very wooded area and I remember well what we went through with Hurricane Irene.

I have successively avoided any kind of communication with him, but I cannot deny that I still care about his well being. So I have been obsessing about wanting to reach out.

I don’t ever want to be with him again or even be his friend.  But, once you love somebody you cannot just snap your fingers and stop loving them. I believe you will always care, but you just make a choice to love and respect yourself more.

So yesterday I allowed myself to text him and ask if he and C were okay. He texted back that they were okay and that he appreciated my checking on him. And guess what happened? I felt so light afterwards, and best of all, I stopped obsessing about it.  It is funny it seems that I turned a corner.

It kind of freed me.  I have been working so hard at completely ignoring him that it was having the opposite affect.  Allowing myself to contact him made me to just be able to let it go.

Baby steps, but it feels so good!