Tag Archives: menopause

Bye bye sleep. Hello hot flashes

23 Saturday Nov 2019

Posted by in Daily Life

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“For age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away
The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.”
― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 

My sister has been having hot flashes for a couple of years now.  I thought I was the lucky twin that had been spared.

Sadly I I find out I am not.  I am just late to that party.  This week I started feeling sudden flashes of heat that seem to start inside my chest and go up my body.

I should be happy to see an end to menstrual cycles, but I am not.  To me it is just another sign that I am getting older and older.  I don’t want to grew older!

I am watching my parents getting older and lose a lot of themselves.  They are lucky they my siblings and I to care for them.  Who do I have?  Well, that is another story, another post.

Back to getting hot, and I don’t mean excited …

During the night it has been a constant struggle with the covers. I pull the blanket off,  I put the blanket back on, over and over again.  That makes me wake up and then I have trouble going back to sleep.

I am also having some lapses in memory, having trouble thinking of names or things that I was about to say or do.

Instead of losing the 10 pounds I wanted to, I gained 10 pounds in the space of a couple of weeks – all around my now non-existent waist.

Is this all related to Menopause? the joys of getting older?

Now add the vertigo to that.  It has gotten better but still makes an appearance every morning and night.

Yes I have been feeling like a prize lately 😦

“I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

DATING:  Dating? What is that?  I am not sure what is going on with me as far as dating is concerned.  I lack the patience for it, that is what I can surmise.  I am making zero effort online to connect with anyone.  Let’s face it,  online dating requires effort and patience and at the moment I am lacking on those departments.

WORK:  I have been facing a lot decisions at work and the fear of making the wrong decision is almost paralyzing.  Constant prayers for wisdom!

“I am incapable of conceiving infinity, and yet I do not accept finity. I want this adventure that is the context of my life to go on without end.”
― Simone de Beauvoir ,  La Vieillesse

This has been a cry baby post, so please forgive me.  The next one will be better.  It will be about my skiing trip that is coming up.  I am getting very excited for it. 🙂 ♥

Life is beautiful and I am blessed!

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Doctor, doctor, please fix me!

25 Wednesday Jul 2018

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

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My hip in getting increasingly bad, so I decided that August would be the month that I would go see a doctor about it.

HIP DOCTOR: So much for planning for August.  The doctor’s next available appointment is September 19.  I was going crazy researching doctors, so when my doctor friend recommended him I just decided this is it.

I have gone to a hip doctor before but I was not that impressed with him.  It is crazy how time flies. I thought it was only a couple of year ago that I had gone to him but now that I checked it was 2013!!

At that time I had scans and MRI done, and the treatment recommended was physical therapy and cortisone shots.  I was diagnosed with bursitis, arthritis and a tear that was not severe enough to be operated on.

The cortisone shots made the pain worst but eventually the physical therapy worked and I felt like myself again.  After I was done with the therapy I took up tennis lessons again and the pain came back as if had never left.  I gave up tennis and have since then been talking about going back to the doctor.

Five years later I am finally doing something about it.  I feel a bit embarrassed about this procrastination.  I chose to live with pain and discomfort.  I chose to do only limited physical activities rather than address the issue. I no longer take tap and jazz classes.  I don’t weight lift or do zumba. All the things I loved I gave up.  Yeah, it is embarrassing.

Better late than ever.  There is no upside to beating myself up at this point.

“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I am also going to see some other medical professionals:

DENTIST: I am going in for a cleaning. I have some work to do but it is major, so I am thinking about doing it in Brazil for a fraction of the price.  I am only unsure I can stay away from work for 2 weeks.  I get cleanings every 3 months as my teeth needs to be closely monitored.

The surgery I had in my gums seems to be doing okay. The inflammation didn’t return and if that is the case it is a success and I will not need another procedure in that area and I will not need to lose one of the implants I have there.  Fingers crossed that this remains the case.

OBGYN: I have big news for my doctor. My period was late for the first time ever. I could set a watch by my period in the past and all of a sudden 40 days go by and nothing.

Menopause seems to be here, for better or worse.  And with it it is bringing a whole host of unwelcome visitors: Tiredness, excessive sugar cravings, mood swings, etc.  My hair feels and looks like brillo pad.  My mood is swinging more than Elvis’s hips. I am obsessed with Instagram pictures of chocolate cakes.  It is really bad!

INTERNIST: I need to schedule it.  I will bring those issues up with him.  In the past at my annual check ups all they said was:  make sure to eat healthy and exercise.

EYE DOCTOR: I go every other year for the past several years. I go to a specialist.  Since my mother has a retina disease I like to keep a close eye (pun intended) on it.   All is normally fine and the prescription just changes a bit.

***

I am feeling extremely exhausted lately.  I used to just jump up in the morning, singing and happy, now it is a struggle to get up.  It feels all my body wants to do is be horizontal.

I have been taking all kinds of supplements that is supposed to help with energy and fatigue but they don’t seem to be that effective.

My eating habits are insane.  One day goes well, the other I fall off the wagon.   One day is gluten free, the other is all about gluten.  Now that I am paying more attention to my eating habits it seems that all I want to do is eat.

My main problem is sugar.  The solution is discipline and willpower. Do you know where I can buy those?

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao Tzu

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I will write about G and I on the next post.  We are still seeing each other. I have no interest in seeing anyone else for now.  We are still a bit mismatched but at times I think I am just being picky.

It is weird that I met someone when I am at my worst.

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe