Tag Archives: getting to know each other

The pizza date, I mean, debacle

15 Tuesday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“After a full belly all is poetry.” ― Frank McCourt

I got to his house at 4:30pm on Sunday.  He met me with a hug at the porch.

After some pleasantries while I removed my coat. He proceeded to give me a tour of the house. It is a big house, and the décor is country chic. He is a Virgo and it shows.  Everything is clean and organized. Even the attic and basement are impeccable. 

After the tour he poured us a glass of wine and we settled on the couch.  We talked and talked and talked. I am never comfortable with silence, so, if there is any I will pepper it with questions.  The good thing is that I am able to get a lot of information. 

We talked about our plans for the future, and that is where there are some details that I need to think about.  It seems there will be some compromising I will have to do if I want a relationship with him. Well, any relationship requires some compromising.  I just need to decide if I am willing to.  I will save those details for a next post.

We were very happy to be together.  There are tons of  chemistry between us. Fireworks and sparks were flying. There was some kissing and snuggling on the couch.

The only time there was silence was when I laid my head on his shoulders and I think I may have dozed off.  At one point he said something about being 8 o’clock and perhaps too late for pizza.  I didn’t hear him well and asked him to repeat it.  He then asked me if I was hungry and if I wanted him to make pizza.  Odd question since pizza is what I went there for. I told him that.

“The belly is an ungrateful wretch, it never remembers past favors, it always wants more tomorrow.” ― Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

In the following 30 minutes he asked me the same thing at least 3 times, but didn’t get up to make the pizza.  It was cozy just snuggling on the couch, but I started being aware of how hungry I was.  I also started thinking that by the time the pizza is ready for the oven and ready for eat, it will take another hour.  I don’t like to get home late on Sunday night.

I mentioned that I have a tendency to get hangry.  He said he did also. But still nothing. All of a sudden the hunger just hit me and I just got up and said that I had to leave.  He was a bit startled by my abruptness. 

He again asked me if I wanted him to make me pizza.  I said I would eat something at home.  He offered to make me a sandwich, but by now it was too late, I just wanted to leave.  I know how I get when I am starving and I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to become this mean, angry, short-tempered person right there in his home.

In seconds I put my shoes on, grabbed my coat and bag and left. It had snowed a little, so he came out and helped me clear my car. That slowed down my departure by a couple of minutes.

When I got home I texted him.  The text exchange is below. I was still hungry and a bit annoyed so my text was short, but not sweet.   He didn’t reply until the following morning.  I replied to him but he was silent until this very minute.  I am not sure what to say.  Something did go wrong the other night: There was no pizza!  The funny thing is I don’t even care that much about pizza.

I did have a great time and it is a shame that the night ended in such a way.  It could have been different if I had asked for something to eat, or told him to get the pizza going faster.  I didn’t think of it until he mentioned was already 8pm.

I always feel I can be too demanding and domineering. I often take the lead and start telling people what to do.  I also felt that he asked me over for pizza, so perhaps the pizza should have been further along by the time I got there, more than just the dough in a bowl.

Because I didn’t want to be a pushy, demanding person, I got too hungry and instead I became this crazy hungry monster that just ran out.  

“An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.” ― Albert Einstein

Valentine’s Day Weekend – joyous moments

18 Tuesday Feb 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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I had a lovely weekend of no expectations.  It is really amazing what happens when one decides to ignore expectations and let the moment be a surprise.  The result are beautiful experiences.

M. picked me up when he left work a little after midnight on Friday,  well Saturday morning really.  It is always wonderful seeing him.  I think he feels the same way about seeing me.

“The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again.”― Charles Dickens, Nicholas Nickleby

When we got to his house he was excited to show me the gifts he got me.  He said that he was not sure what to get me and thought it would be nice for me to have some things to have at his house.  In the below picture: a robe, a towel, a loofah (another one since he said he had used mine form last time), a pair of comfy slippers, a lotion, a delicious dark chocolate heart and a box of coconut chocolates, which he knew are my favorites.

What he got me for Valentine’s Day

I thought it was all perfect.  We know each for 1 month so really anything he gave me would have been perfect. It also included a card that was very romantic and signed Love.

I had no idea what to give him either.  Since he loves coffee I gave him a coffee grinder and organic coffee, which turns out he had one already.  He was gracious about it.  He said his was old and he would keep the new one.

I also gave him a picture frame that I made. I am heavily into my passion for mosaics at the moment so it seemed fitting to give him something I made myself.   I put the picture of a dog in it since he loves dog and eventually he can change that if he wants to.  He said it was beautiful.

What I gave him

We decided to have dinner at home on Saturday night instead of going to a restaurant. He asked me what I would prefer and I honestly didn’t care so he chose to make me skirt steak, which he knew was my favorite.  Old me would have wanted to go to a restaurant, but the present me is more interested in spending time alone together.  Cooking together seemed perfect.  Well, he cooked while I set the table.  Table setting in progress below.  I forgot to take a picture of the final set up and with the food on it. I guess I was too hungry by then. 🙂

Dinner was delicious! After dinner we were looking for a movie to watch on Amazon Prime.  We couldn’t decide.  By the time we chose one, which I don’t even remember what is it now, I fell asleep right at the beginning.  He said it was one of those predictable movies: boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl in the end.

On Saturday before we shopped for dinner he showed me more places around town:  the drive-in movie theater, some dairy farms, some local parks, some celebrities homes, including Derek Jeter’s home that is across the lake from his house and happens to be up for sale.

If interested take a look: https://www.businessinsider.com/derek-jeters-house-pics-2019-2

Sunday before he took me home we went to local carnival, where we ate good food.  They were going to have a Polar Plunge but I was too cold to wait for it.  I was not wearing a coat, just a turtleneck and a vest.  It didn’t feel cold when we left his home, but by the side of the lake with a frosty mist blowing by it was decidedly freezing.

I am afraid of guns but he spent some time showing me how to shoot cans with a pellet gun.  I failed miserably.  Still I am glad I tried.  He wanted to show me that it takes a skilled marksman to shoot exactly the leg or the arm.  I made the comment, that I guess he is tired of hearing, why don’t cops shoot the legs instead of shooting to kill.

Anytime we were home he had Brazilian Bossa Nova music going.  I think by the end of my stay we were both sick of it. It is beautiful and he wanted me to cater to me, so I appreciate his thoughtfulness.

I enjoyed the weekend immensely.  He is thoughtful and caring, without being too much and too needy.

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” ― Rumi

In getting to know him,  while sporting a new attitude,  I have noticed some things about me.  I will discuss them in the next post.

 

Second date and I am still excited

05 Thursday Jul 2018

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever” – Nicholas Sparks

I hardly ever have a second date and normally it is just to confirm what I had already known:  that I am not into this person.  But this time it is different.

The second date was last Sunday.  I went to his house.  It is a bit crazy for me to go to someone’s house this early in a relationship but I really wanted to see his home. I love seeing how people live.  It tells me a lot about who they are.  Also, he had told me his house was freaking adorable, so yes I was curious.

I had no doubt I would be safe, so I had no reservations about going there.

His house is indeed adorable. It is small and cozy.  He knew I would like it as I mentioned to him that I like vintage stuff, woods and metals.  His house is filled with all kinds of artifacts, vintage furniture and art pieces he has done.

It was like a log cabin inside and covered in all kinds of nick knacks.  Every item has a story.  G. is by profession a carpenter, but his passion and talent lies in woodcarving and other artwork made out of driftwood.

I specially loved the backyard. It is so fairy-tale like with so many birds, and plants.  One side of the house is totally covered in ivy. I didn’t see the vegetable garden he has on the roof and I didn’t shower in the outdoor shower.  Those are saved for date # 3.

Since I was going to his house and our chemistry is crazy we talked about the subject of sex.   We decided that we would not rush into anything.  We will take it slow and easy.  There was plenty of kissing and snuggling but no sex.

I got there around 9:30am.  It took me 50 minutes to get there.  After a long hug and a peck on the lips he handed me a cup of coffee and proceeded to give me a tour of the house. That probably took a couple of hours.  Not that the house was big, it was that each item, each corner has history and a story.

We sat outside for awhile, talking about the plants and the birds.  Then we went inside and he proceeded to make brunch.  I watched him for awhile and offered to help.  He told me to lay down in his bedroom and just relax.  He said he would call me when it was time to butter the bread.   I did, and after awhile he called to butter the English muffins.

“The Very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone.”  – Jane Austen

The reason he said laid down on the bed versus sit down on the couch is that from the bedroom where the bed was one could see straight into the kitchen where he was.  I imagine that was the reason, because now looking back it seemed odd.  In the moment all was perfect, nothing awkward or weird about anything.

He made sauteed sweet potatoes, sausage, and eggs. I never cared for sweet potatoes.  I could take it or leave it.  But these were the best sweet potatoes I ever had.

It was probably already 3 pm by the time we were eating. After lingering over our empty plates we laid down on a bed he has in this covered back porch.  I am not sure how long we were there.  There was some kissing.  It was awesome, but we didn’t take it any further.  We both fell asleep at some point.  .

Later we sat in the living room and talked about his plans for the future regarding his art and some other projects.  I love people that pursue their passions, so I am glad he is doing that.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

My sister called me at some point and told me: either you come home before it gets dark or you should stay there and come tomorrow morning.  I said: yes Mom.  I told him what my sister said and he said that I should leave soon.

I was a tad disappointed that he didn’t try to talk me into staying, but I understand his reasons.  While I would have no problem staying over it was too soon for that.  My sister trusts my judgement so she had no worries about me going over and potentially staying over.  For some reason her main concern was my driving in the dark.

We continue to text throughout the day and will see each other this Saturday.  I will probably go over his house again.  I rather go there and have him cook for me than to go to an expensive restaurant.  I am changing.

He is the type that is more at home around a campfire than at the opera, so if there is any area that potentially could there be a disagreement it would be the choice of vacation and entertainment.  I am open to do/try it all and he seems also, so eventually we will both be put through a test and see how our worlds mesh.

For now I am extremely happy to be getting to know him and seeing where this goes. I have made the decision not to look for potential problems.  I am not messaging or dating anyone else at this point.  He is not either.  We both are excited and want to give this a fair chance.

All I know is that I like him a whole lot and I don’t really know how to tone myself down with things I love.

“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” – Oscar Wilde

 

Kissing and Telling

17 Thursday Dec 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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 “Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing.” – Mark Z. Danielewski

Life is flying by while I try to hang on and get things done…in the meantime my blog suffers in silence, and for that I am sorry and will try to be much better in 2016.

Audit at work:  Still not finished.  It is a struggle for me to live with unfinished things such as this.  I like to know when things will end, and how will they end.  How audits on a company of 15 people take 4 months is beyond me.  Government at its best!

Family: It is hard being far from my family at this moment.  Mom and dad aren’t young anymore and right now they have a lot of health issues.  I am learning to live with the fact that things will probably get even harder.  I am learning to accept the natural progression of life.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”  – Lao Tzu

Christmas Spirit: I have never really been a Christmas person.  I normally don’t fly to Brazil to be with my family around the holidays.  I either spend it with friends or alone.  And just between us, I often favor being alone, making some nice comfort food and watching a fun movie.

Now for the kissing and telling:

It turns out that the kissing improved… a lot!  I realized that he was just so nervous around me on the first 2 dates.  I also realized that finding fault with his kiss is my way of finding something wrong and therefore an excuse to run away.

I decided to make more of an en effort.  I decided to be less critical and more open.  I am trying not to sabotage this relationship.  I am trying to let things be and go and flow as they will.  Still at times I catch myself testing him, trying to push him away.  It feels like I could say or do anything and he will still be here, it is such a wonderful freeing feeling.

This relationship is extremely new, just a month old and yet it feels like forever.  We have only seen each other a handful of times.  We continue to speak for a couple of hours every night.  Our conversations range from events of the day to childhood memories.  I find myself telling him stupid stories that I have never told anyone.  It is so easy to talk to him.  He makes everything seem easy.

We are very similar on our morals, wants, needs and dreams, but still we are extremely different on so much more.  He is shy, I am out there.  He is gentle, I am aggressive.  He is Pisces, I am Aries.  He is Monkey, I am Horse.  My brutal honesty and in your face approach doesn’t scare him.  He says he is up to the challenge.  I wonder if he knows what he is in for.  I wonder if the novelty will wear off.

He is thoughtful and remembers things I tell him.  Like when I said that my favorite flowers were daisies and sunflowers and he shows up with them.

I have already met his 8 year old son.  It was a short meeting and it went well.  I also already met his co-workers.  I went to his work Holiday dinner, it was fun and everyone was welcoming.  At the end of the December I am going to North Carolina to meet his best friend.  Perhaps it is all a bit too fast, but I figure that knowing the important people in his life will give me a better idea of who he is.

It feels wonderful to have someone that cares and is not afraid to say it and show it.  It is refreshing to meet someone that is not into all the dating games people play.  He says what he means and means what he says.

I feel I found that rare combination of friend and lover all in one.  The possibilities seem limitless.  My heart is constantly singing.

He had just started online dating when I met him.  I had given up, contacting him was my last act before taking down my profile.  When he replied and we clicked it felt nothing short of a miracle.  At times I feel he hasn’t been out there enough.  His divorce was final in March and he was separated a year before that.  When I tell him that he should do some more dating to figure out what he wants, he tells me that he has already found what he wants and doesn’t need to do any more searching.  I shut up and smile.

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow – this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” – Elizabeth Gilbert