Tags
dating sleepovers, Found on Plenty of Fish, getting to know each other, merging two worlds, online dating, Survived the second date, Third date on the horizon
“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever” – Nicholas Sparks
I hardly ever have a second date and normally it is just to confirm what I had already known: that I am not into this person. But this time it is different.
The second date was last Sunday. I went to his house. It is a bit crazy for me to go to someone’s house this early in a relationship but I really wanted to see his home. I love seeing how people live. It tells me a lot about who they are. Also, he had told me his house was freaking adorable, so yes I was curious.
I had no doubt I would be safe, so I had no reservations about going there.
His house is indeed adorable. It is small and cozy. He knew I would like it as I mentioned to him that I like vintage stuff, woods and metals. His house is filled with all kinds of artifacts, vintage furniture and art pieces he has done.
It was like a log cabin inside and covered in all kinds of nick knacks. Every item has a story. G. is by profession a carpenter, but his passion and talent lies in woodcarving and other artwork made out of driftwood.
I specially loved the backyard. It is so fairy-tale like with so many birds, and plants. One side of the house is totally covered in ivy. I didn’t see the vegetable garden he has on the roof and I didn’t shower in the outdoor shower. Those are saved for date # 3.
Since I was going to his house and our chemistry is crazy we talked about the subject of sex. We decided that we would not rush into anything. We will take it slow and easy. There was plenty of kissing and snuggling but no sex.
I got there around 9:30am. It took me 50 minutes to get there. After a long hug and a peck on the lips he handed me a cup of coffee and proceeded to give me a tour of the house. That probably took a couple of hours. Not that the house was big, it was that each item, each corner has history and a story.
We sat outside for awhile, talking about the plants and the birds. Then we went inside and he proceeded to make brunch. I watched him for awhile and offered to help. He told me to lay down in his bedroom and just relax. He said he would call me when it was time to butter the bread. I did, and after awhile he called to butter the English muffins.
“The Very first moment I beheld him, my heart was irrevocably gone.” – Jane Austen
The reason he said laid down on the bed versus sit down on the couch is that from the bedroom where the bed was one could see straight into the kitchen where he was. I imagine that was the reason, because now looking back it seemed odd. In the moment all was perfect, nothing awkward or weird about anything.
He made sauteed sweet potatoes, sausage, and eggs. I never cared for sweet potatoes. I could take it or leave it. But these were the best sweet potatoes I ever had.
It was probably already 3 pm by the time we were eating. After lingering over our empty plates we laid down on a bed he has in this covered back porch. I am not sure how long we were there. There was some kissing. It was awesome, but we didn’t take it any further. We both fell asleep at some point. .
Later we sat in the living room and talked about his plans for the future regarding his art and some other projects. I love people that pursue their passions, so I am glad he is doing that.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi
My sister called me at some point and told me: either you come home before it gets dark or you should stay there and come tomorrow morning. I said: yes Mom. I told him what my sister said and he said that I should leave soon.
I was a tad disappointed that he didn’t try to talk me into staying, but I understand his reasons. While I would have no problem staying over it was too soon for that. My sister trusts my judgement so she had no worries about me going over and potentially staying over. For some reason her main concern was my driving in the dark.
We continue to text throughout the day and will see each other this Saturday. I will probably go over his house again. I rather go there and have him cook for me than to go to an expensive restaurant. I am changing.
He is the type that is more at home around a campfire than at the opera, so if there is any area that potentially could there be a disagreement it would be the choice of vacation and entertainment. I am open to do/try it all and he seems also, so eventually we will both be put through a test and see how our worlds mesh.
For now I am extremely happy to be getting to know him and seeing where this goes. I have made the decision not to look for potential problems. I am not messaging or dating anyone else at this point. He is not either. We both are excited and want to give this a fair chance.
All I know is that I like him a whole lot and I don’t really know how to tone myself down with things I love.
“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” – Oscar Wilde
i’m so glad to read this, there is hope for me after all. i tend to get put off/bored/disinterested after the first date. or he does –
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It has always been the same way with me. I was mostly never interested on a second date. The rare times I was the guy just disappeared. Now I know why, they were not the right person for me.
This time it feels so different, so right. I know it could be just my wishful thinking, but I am going with it. I am enjoying it for as long as it lasts.
I hope you never give up. I never will!
Thank you and many blessings! 🙂
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It sounds so wonderful, Enjoy and take it as it comes. Hugs Ute
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Hi Ute
Thank you so much! Blessings! 🙂
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So, don’t tone yourself down, be enthusiastic, be romantic, let yourself fall – just hold a tad in reserve so that, should there be a problem, you will see it and do what needs to be done.
Scott
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Hi Scott
I am being watchful but I am also making sure to enjoy it and not be predicting doom and looking for issues. It may last forever or it may last a day, so I will be all in.
Thank you for caring! Many blessings! 🙂
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Welcome
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Very good! He place sounds interesting and adorable – like something out of a novel! I am very happy you’re enjoying this special time as you learn more about him. Sending warm wishes for an even better Saturday date.
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Hi Patricia,
His house was really enchanting, like something out of a novel is a good way to describe it.
Thank you so much for the good wishes! Blessings! 🙂
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I am glad to hear that things are going well.
When it comes to differences in interests perhaps you should focus on now and no worry too much about the future. Plus having some different interests should be better in the longer term
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Thank you so much! “Focus on the now” is always a good advice that I need to be reminded of often.
So, thank you for reminding me to focus on the now and just see how things develop.
Many blessings to you! 🙂
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What a wonderful second date, I am SO excited for you! I have been married for almost 20 years, but I remember the butterflies in my tummy, that feeling you get when you are falling for someone and happy, excited, nervous and a million other feelings that go through you. This is a lovely time in your life, enjoy every moment, maybe in 20 years you will be saying these words to someone else too!.
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Hi Lilly
Thank you for sharing my excitement. It does feel amazing that I found someone that I feel like spending time with.
Congratulations on your 20 years and I look forward to be celebrating 20 while you celebrate 40!!
Many blessings to you! 🙂
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Oh, have fun! Try not to overthink it and just enjoy it.
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Hi Dee
I see your name and I think about baking cookies… we should be near each other 🙂
Thank you so much for the great advice! Overthink is my middle name. 😦
Many blessings to you! 🙂
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We aren’t far away. Next time I plan to be in NYC I’ll let you know. We may be able to meet up for brunch or something. And I do make cookies that travel well…
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Please, please do! I would love to meet up. The cookies will be icing on the cake! 🙂
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Looking good…happy for you!
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Hi V.J.
Thank you so much! Sending you blessings! 🙂
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Very exciting!
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Indeed it is!! Blessings! 🙂
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This sounds promising, and he sounds like a truly interesting person.
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It does and he is. I will post about additional dates this week.
Thank you and blessings! 🙂
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Sounds fab! Enjoy your next date!!!
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Thank you so much! I have 🙂
Blessings!
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I am cautious but do feel you must trust your gut. It is great you are not putting up roadblocks. I usually like to meet one of the person’s friends or family members before I go too far physically. Mainly because it makes the person accountable to more than myself. It usually helps to find out the relationships he has. They can say they are close to family but I need to know this. Isolation is a very trick and mind controlling thing that I have experienced before so my dear is a quirky man may actually be an antisocial man. . . It may all be unnecessary to explain this but just in case there are women (or men) who are naive who think it is ok to do what you did on this second date. I hope to read more about him and hear a happy ending! 💕
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