Tag Archives: Feeling blessed

Alive in Brazil

12 Monday Jun 2023

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Dia dos Namorados

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” ― Albert Camus

Hi Friends,

This is just to say I am alive 😊

I haven’t had a chance to go check your blogs and see what you all have been up to. For that I am sorry, and I hope everyone has been well.  I will be back to the US next week and hope to have more time to get back to my cherished friends here.

Life in Brazil has been incredibly busy.  Not only I had tons of things that I wanted to get done around the house, but I am also working remotely – my functions plus some of my co-worker that remains out being treated for breast cancer.

Here is a summary of what I have been up to since I arrived here on May 26:

  • I bought a car for my brother. Dealing with the dealership, insurance, Detran (Brazilian DMV), details about paying, etc, it all involved several days.
  • Painted my mom’s second kitchen and eat-in area. Some workers that worked on some water damage made a complete mess of the walls and floor. Not to mention the fact that they didn’t cover anything.  In April, when I saw that mess, I mentioned that I was going to clean it and paint it, when I returned – many doubted, but I did.  I am very proud of that.
  • I painted my brother’s room as well. This room is adjacent to that kitchen and it needed some refreshing. It was also a chance to re-organize and clean it.
  • Organized my brother’s room. My brother is not an organized person, so every time I come to Brazil, I make improvements.
  • Put contact paper on all the kitchen cabinets. Detailed job. I had a friend that is unemployed at the moment come and help.  She has been priceless in helping me with the cleaning and organizing.
  • I cleaned a small little house I have for rent. Again, I had my friend help. Actually, she did most of cleaning. I also had to have the yard, cleared of overgrown grass and trees. I contracted that work for a small fortune – everyone here things I overpaid.
  • M and I go to Pilates every week day from 1 to 2pm. Even though he works out hard at the gym every day while in the States, he is finding out that Pilates can be challenging.  The instructor has been targeting some dormant muscles. I should be in Pilates right now, but I am catching up on work, and I am stealing a few minutes to do this Update.
  • Speaking of M, he is fitting right in. He has been helping me with everything. From cleaning, painting, decisions about the car, to doing the dishes and cleaning. He is a keeper. Everyone here adores him, even though there is still the language barrier.  He has been working hard at trying to learn Portuguese.
  • There is always a stream of visitors at my house. Friends, old and new, that come to have coffee with my parents. Most come every week, other now come more often because I am here. That has always been the routine with my family. We never go to people’s house, they come to us.  Which, now that I think of, is the opposite for me in the US.  I hardly have anyone over; I often go to people’s house.
  • Today is “Dia dos Namorados” in Brazil, somewhat similar to Valentine’s Day in the US, but not that similar. This holiday is all about boyfriends and girlfriends.  went out and got me that beautiful sunflower.  Here in my town is hard to find cut flowers, we find mostly the actual plant to be replanted.  He also bought all kinds of chocolates for the rest of the family. 
  • I was able to have a couple of outings with friends, twice for dinner and twice for a day trip to the country.  I hope to share pictures and stories when I return.

I am feeling so exhausted mentally and physically – there has been many frustrating and angering moments. But I am also so so blessed to be able to be here with my parents, to be able to better their lives in little ways, and to have M. next to me. I believe he is the person I have been waiting for.

Wishing everyone many blessings, small and large. I hope you have many reasons to smile, but even if you don’t, smile anyway.  The reasons will come!

ps. sorry for typos and errors, no time to edit.

“…feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we’re holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we feel we’d rather collapse and back away. They’re like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we’re stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and, lucky for us, it’s with us wherever we are.” ― Pema Chödrön

A blessing often taken for granted

07 Monday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” ― Helen Keller

On Friday I left work at 11am.  My sister met me outside of our building.  She got in the car and we proceeded to discuss the best way to get to White Plains, NY.

Should we avoid the highway and just use the local route?  It would take a bit longer but we wouldn’t have the usual highway delays of lately.  We chose local.

We were wrong. We encountered two road blocks due to construction.  I feel the entire New York state is under construction.  At one point my sister asked if we were near, as we ended up taking some back roads that she was not familiar with.  I could feel her relief when I said that we were only 5 minutes away.

Finally we arrived our location.  Now we proceed to the parking near it. I didn’t think there was any room on the first level so I took the curvy route all the way to the 6th floor.  Getting out of the parking lot and into the street was another long story, as we kept getting off on different streets and had to go back and find the right exit.

By now it was 12: 05.  She had to be there at 12:15pm.  I pointed to a building in the corner and said: there it is.  She panicked when she saw that it said: White Plains Library on the building.  She feared we were on the wrong place.  I assured her that the right building was just next door.  Again, relief on her face on she saw the 111 Number sign on the building, signaling the right place: 111 Martin Luther King Boulevard, the address of the Westchester County Court.

We entered it, went though the security desk, and were pointed to the right courtroom.  There was a big signed that said: NATURALIZATION.

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.” ― Maya Angelou, Celebrations: Rituals of Peace and Prayer

On this Friday, November 4th 2022, my sister officially became a United States citizen.  I have been a citizen for a long time, but still, during the whole event I was moved and had a lump in my throat.  It was emotional to be in a room with 48 newly naturalized citizens and their families, with so many different cultures, languages, backgrounds and stories of trials and triumph.

Upon entering the courtroom, the new citizens to be first lined up to see the desk clerks to answer some final questions and to surrender their green cards.  Then they sat and waited for the ceremony to start.  When it started Tim C. Idoni, the court clerk and a previous New Rochelle Mayor, administered the Oath of Citizenship to the new citizens.  Then the entire room got up for the Pledge of Allegiance. 

Then the presiding judge spoke. I can’t recall her name but it was her first time presiding over the Oath of Ceremony. In her Congratulatory speech, she welcomed the new citizens and also added some of her personal history to it.  She mentioned she was the granddaughter of Irish immigrants, and the first person from her family to go to college, law school, and now become a judge.

Then they called names, 3 at a time.  The new citizens would go to the front, shake hands with the Judge and the County Clerk and be handed the Certificate of Naturalization.  My sister came back to her seat beaming with pride.  She was now focused on trying to get a picture with the Judge and the clerk at the end.  She wanted to document the day in any and every way she could.

As soon as they declared the proceedings over, she jumped up and went to ask for a picture with the judge and clerk.  They graciously agreed.  I took a few pictures, then realized that a line started to form of people wanting to take pictures.  She had started a chain reaction.

At first she loved the pictures I took, but later she took a closer look.  Apparently, I always cut the feet off when I take full length pictures of people standing up.  When she started to complain about it, I didn’t say anything.  I am learning the virtues of silence in certain situations. Also, it was her day!

In the evening I treated her to dinner at Sergio’s in Pelham, NY.  They have the best short ribs with risotto ever! Actually, my boss paid for dinner as congratulations to her.

After the ceremony, she called and emailed everyone she could think of.  She wanted the world to share in her happiness and good fortune.

It took my sister 12 years to get a green card, and then another 5 years to get the citizenship.  She is over the moon!  She is proud, happy, and above all grateful for this amazing opportunity.  I am all of that as well, and more!

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love—then make that day count!” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

When in Doubt… Go!

11 Tuesday May 2021

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“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” ― Robert Frost

I have been thinking a lot about my family in Brazil.  I have been waiting for the perfect time to go visit.  The perfect time would be when this virus is gone from here, and from Brazil.  But, who knows when that will be, or if it will ever be?

On the spur of the moment I bought a ticket to Brazil.  I am leaving on May 22 and coming back on June 12.  I am hoping 3 weeks is enough time to give my brother a break from taking care of my parents.  He has been doing it for almost 2 years with no break.  Normally my mom comes to NY twice a year, but Covid changed all that. 

“I sustain myself with the love of family.” ― Maya Angelou

My parents are 86 (mom) and 84 (dad).  Mom’s hip is really giving her a hard time, so my brother is doing more and more around the house.  We have someone that comes in twice a week to clean the house, and they order food out a few times a week, but there is always something to do.  

I am bringing a laptop and will try to work from there, but the main objective of this trip is to spend time with my parents.  Work will be secondary.  

“If Light Is In Your Heart, You Will Find Your Way Home.”- Rumi

I have 11 days to get all done before I leave. I am now starting a series of lists to make sure I don’t forget anything.  No one does my functions, so if I don’t do it, it will not get done. 

I have lists of deadlines at work, of what to pack, of gifts to buy, of people to contact, and on and on.  I am about to start a list to track all my lists ;-).  I love making lists.  It makes me feel that I am, somewhat, in control of things.  

“You need to make time for your family no matter what happens in your life” ― Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook

Let the shopping and packing start.  There are a lot things to buy to take home. The most requested items are: vitamins and supplements, Victoria Secret’s body lotions, Lindt Chocolates. I will also brings bagels and pita chips for the family.

Similar to how I felt about the vaccine, I was unsure about traveling to Brazil.  Then, at the moment I bought the tickets, it just felt right. AS if everything fell in place, and all is right in the world.

I feel blessed, yet again, for the freedom of coming and going.  Mask or no mask!

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ― Marcel Proust

 

If by Rudyard Kipling

02 Monday Mar 2020

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I needed to read this today.  Perhaps you need it to.

If—
Rudyard Kipling – 1865-1936

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings—nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run—
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Wishing everything a blessed week! Stay strong and faithful! ♥♥♥

In a Rumi kind of way… happy, grateful, blessed

23 Friday Oct 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”― Rumi

I am feeling so happy for no reason! Well, there is a reason. When I stop to really look at my life there are so many reasons to be happy. But I am happy because I am making a conscious decision to be happy! I always believed that happiness is a choice, I choose to be happy – it is that simple!

Well… no always that simple or easy. I sometimes have to remind myself to be happy. I sometimes have to force myself to be happy. I sometimes have to force a smile. When gloomy feelings and fears threaten to get a hold of him I need to tell myself: Be happy!

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.” ― Rumi

I have low moments as everyone else does, but where I differ is that I don’t allow myself to stay there for too long. I don’t allow myself to dwell on whatever I think is going wrong in my life. If I feel like crying I cry, I don’t hold back, but I make it quick. I don’t stay in that mood, feeling sorry for myself for too long. If I allow myself to stay in that dark place too long I may never get out. I cry, dry the tears then I move on.

• I come up with ideas and plans to correct and change whatever I think is wrong. Making plans for the future makes me feel accomplished.
• I make a list of everything I have going for me (a gratitude list). Getting reminded of all I have makes me feel blessed.
• I look for a lesson in the problems. There is always a lesson! Realizing the opportunity for growth makes me feel wise.
• I look for the blessing in the problems. There are blessings in disguise all around. Being able to find positive in the negative makes me feel powerful.

“Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.” ― Rumi

Being happy when all is going fine is easy. Being happy when everything is falling apart and nothing is going my way it is not so easy. And that is when it is most necessary to rejoice, to get centered and not lose sight of the bigger picture. The big picture is that nothing lasts forever, good or bad.

The bad, the complicated, the not so great times are necessary so that we can appreciate the good times even more.

My doctor friend once said to me that God gives us difficult days as a gift for us to grow and develop into better people.  Who am I to be mad at God for giving me such a gift?

I have been trying to be grateful for everything and everyone as they have a reason to come into our lives.  I fail more times than I succeed,  but I keep trying.

Right now I have this weird grin on my face and this weird feeling in my heart. It is as if I know that something huge in my life is about to happen. I don’t know what it is and I don’t know when it will happen, but I know it will be magical.

“Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.” ― Rumi

May your weekend be magical! Let your heart and soul sing a happy tune! Be grateful! Be love! Choose happiness!

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.” ― Rumi

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead: Not just a name, a belief and a way of life!

31 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

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I am exhausted from hosting my brother and his girlfriend for 3 weeks.  I need a vacation from their vacation.  It was fun and I got to do a lot of touristy stuff, but happy to have my solitude back!

“Visits always give pleasure–if not the arrival, the departure.” ― Portuguese Proverb

An update on my date (the doctor) from the previous posts:  He texted a couple of Sundays ago asking me if I was free.  I said I was going to be free after my brother left on the 29th.  We texted back and forth and also spoke on the phone that day, but I heard nothing since then.  When I asked him why he went silent the first time he said: “You could have called also”.  When he asked if that answered my question I said no, he then said:  “Women need to understand that men are insecure too!” I don’t understand how my honesty and telling a man I like his company would make him feel insecure.  I realize I need to date a man that is not insecure, but we can still be friends and I did enjoy all our conversations. His silence now doesn’t bother me at all, so I think I will text him to wish him a nice weekend.  It is amazing how different things feel when you take the emotional investment out of it.  When you feel you have nothing to lose you take more chances. With more chances there is more to gain.

“A man’s spirit is free, but his pride binds him with chains of suffocation in a prison of his own insecurities” -― Jeremy Aldana

***

I received an email asking me about the meaning of “a star on the forehead”.  So I decided to write here a brief summary about it.

I arrived in the US on November 9, 1984 at the naïve age of 17 years old.  I was clueless as to what awaited for me. I was full of dreams and totally fearless (it is easy when you have no clue at all that could have gone wrong).  At that point in time Brazilians would come to NY to work for a year or two and make enough money to buy a house or start a business. Looking back I am not sure what my plans/goals/dreams were but I knew 2 things:  1) No matter what I would not go back to Brazil a failure and 2) I would not give any reasons for my family to worry about me (so I never complained and never told them the truth of how incredibly hard and difficult my beginning here really was).

I will leave all the details of eventually finding work and creating a life for me here for a future post.

On Sundays I used to meet an old acquaintance from Brazil.  On this particular day she was going to the Bronx to a fortune teller, so I tagged along.  Even though I always enjoyed that type of stuff I had no money to spare so I was not going to get my fortune read/told.

We get to this very poor decrepit area in the Bronx, go to this one house and proceed to wait in this waiting area.  A woman comes out and calls my friend’s name and we go in.

There was this very large man sitting on a rug or a very thin mattress.  For some reason I was expecting the fortune teller to be a woman.   He was very heavy, it seemed that his body spilled over and it became one with this mattress/rug.  As soon as we entered the room, he man covered his eyes with one hand as if attempting to shield the glare of the sun.  He pointed to me and said: “You, don’t sit down! I am not wasting my time with you.  You have a star on the forehead!  You will have everything you want, school, work, money, anything.  Anything you want will be yours; you will just have to want it.  That is all you need to know!”

And that was all I ever needed to know.

I just moved away and my friend sat in front of him and he read her fortune.  I am not even sure if he used cards or what he did.  His words were swimming in my head the whole time as he was giving her some bad news.

Even though he spoke in Spanish (he was Puerto Rican) I was able to understand exactly what he meant.  My friend later reiterated the same thing, so there is no doubt.  At that point was not even about what he really said but about what I heard and how I felt.  I would be lying if I said that it didn’t affect me.  It affected my entire life and still does.  I took that as a sign that I was specially blessed. I held on to that at all times and still do.   To me it was a sign that my work was going to pay off and the hardships and pains were simply bumps in the road.  That was exactly what I needed to hear at that difficult time.

Since then I go through life thinking I am special.  Don’t get me wrong, I do think we are all special and we all should focus on our blessings and be more positive. There is nothing to be gained or accomplished by feeling like victims and being pessimistic.  So why not smile more, walk taller and know you are blessed?  I often say that we are all blessed, but the only difference is that I know it and recognize it and some people are totally ignorant to it.

Today, 30 years later I have an amazing life. I call it amazing, but it is simple, no frills, I just love the fact that I can afford my parents anything they need/want.  Nothing was handed to me freely and easily.  Everything I have I achieved on my own, with my own hard work and perseverance.  I have been blessed with the opportunities and skills and have made the most of it.  I have been blessed with the certainty of a Superior Power that watches over me and has my back.  Nothing can cause me harm!

I plan on one day writing in detail all I went thorough in the past 30 years.  From the very tough early days,  the trials, tribulations, the laughter and the fun.  I don’t feel ready to write it yet.

I believe anyone can have whatever they set their hearts on.  I believe that if I don’t have something I want,  it is because 1) it is not the right timing or 2)I don’t want it bad enough and therefore I am not working hard to get it.

And that is how I came up with the name of my blog.

“In the difficult moments believe in yourself.  Believe that you are whole, perfect, powerful, and blessed.” ― Debasish Mridha

It made my day!

18 Wednesday Apr 2012

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This morning in the kitchen at work I received a compliment form a co-worker. He said: You look great, you lost so much weight!

ok, it does feel a little bad because for a second I think: Gosh, I wonder how bad I looked before. But that thought disappears and I bask in the glory of the realization that I do look good.

He asks me: Are you eating? I had to laugh, he didn’t realize I was holding this huge piece of French bread walking over to the toaster.  Yep, I am eating, and everything I want, just not going crazy on the sweets like in the past.

I really need to thank God yet again for this body that he gave to me, a body that responds well to any little change I make in my life.

Life is beautiful, compliment or not, so many reasons to feel blessed!

What are you feeling blessed for?