antigen covid test, covid blues, covid quarentine, delta or omicron, lacking focus and clarity, still struggling
“The most poetical thing in the world is not being sick.”
― The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare
I rarely get sick.
I was vaccinated with the Johnson and Johnson vaccine, choosing not to have a booster yet. I didn’t want a booster at all, and wanted to hold out for a long as I could. I figured I would get one in April, when I am traveling to Brazil again.
I have always taken all kinds of vitamins and supplements, and since 2020 I have been loading up on Vitamins C, D and Zinc, among others.
I have been mindful, but not paranoid. I have taken precautions, but chose to live as normally as I could. As soon as I could I flew to Brazil to see my parents. I went to casinos, I went on dates, I have met friends. I resumed life as much as I could after the shut down.
“Each patient carries his own doctor inside him.”
― Anatomy of an Illness
On December 26, I woke up with a scratchy throat. I just thought it was the beginning of a cold and I did what I always do: I took an Emergen-C in the morning. They work like magic for me.
When, the next morning, I woke up the same way again, I knew it was something else entirely. I knew I had covid even before taking the test in the evening of December 27,
Since then some symptoms have been changing, evolving, while others have remained the same.
“Be not sick too late, nor well too soon”
I have had the following:
- scratchy/sore throat (on and off, mostly during the night)
- headaches (only in the first few days)
- cough (very mild, on and off)
- body aches (only in the first few days)
- post nasal drip (on and off, more now in the last few days)
- mental fogginess (constant)
- lack of energy (constant, everything I do seems to take a lot effort)
- loss of taste (it started on day 4, December 30th and still remains today)
- chest discomfort (I wouldn’t call it a pain, very mild, but noticeable, when I cough or breathe at times)
- anxiety/ a feeling of doom/the all over sensation that I am off. Nothing feels right. (Every single day since it all started)
“The question is not how to get cured, but how to live.”
I dislike the question that I get often asked: Where did you get it?
It could have been anywhere. Unless there was a way to know exactly when I got it, I don’t think I will ever find out. Plus it feels like an accusation, or perhaps I am just hypersensitive now?
Other than my cousin that has been living in my apartment since he arrived from Brazil a month ago, none of my friends and people I have been in contact with have the virus. We all went to dinner with friends on December 23 and then had friends over on December 25. All those friends are healthy. My sister included.
It is crazy that my sister didn’t catch it. She has been with my cousin and I every day. She also takes the train into Manhattan daily and has had people in her office with the virus. Perhaps she is immune. She took the Pfizer 2 dose vaccine, I took the Johnson and Johnson 1 dose. Perhaps that is the difference.
At any rate, I hope to be 100% real soon. This off feeling is very annoying. I normally feel like conquering the world. Now I have no energy to do the dishes. I am still working from home daily because I have to. But I have been doing about 30% of what I would probably be doing normally.
I am glad I was the one to catch and not my parents. If I am this healthy and I am struggling, I can only imagine how awful it is for people with underlying conditions and weaker immune systems.
I hope you all are healthy and happy and on the way to making 2022 the best year of your lives!
“A chronic invalid has but one thought about his identity: He doesn’t want to be a sick man. The rest of the discussion seems frivolous to him-an immense privilege of the healthy. Still, I’m a novelist, and so I pursue it.” ―