Tag Archives: be in the moment

Walk with Me, mindfully

11 Sunday Feb 2018

Posted by in Daily Life, documentaries, Finding Me

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“Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.” Thich Nhat Hanh

I just watched “Walk With Me”, a documentary narrated by Benedict Cumberbatch.  I loved him in Sherlock Holmes, so it was interesting hearing his voice in a different setting.

The film centers around the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk that has written many books about mindfulness and peace. It shows glimpses of the lives  of the monks and nuns that live at Plum Village and dedicate their entire lives to mindfulness.

Plum Village is a Buddhist meditation center located in the South of France.  That is also where Thich Nhat Hanh lives and teaches. The center offers retreats and workshops for individuals and families.

If I had to choose only one word to describe the documentary, unfortunately,  that word would be “uneven”.  I was hoping for inspiring, deep, meaningful, life changing, mind altering, but unfortunately I think that I, once again, approached something with so much expectation that it left me disappointed.

It had great moments, but the moments seemed a bit disconnected.  I will not describe the moments I liked here so I do not spoil it for anyone intending to watch it. I do recommend it that people watch it as it does offer some moments of contemplation.

When the first few lines appeared on the screen it hit me, it spoke to my core.  I couldn’t help but to be filled with expectations:

“I know what it is to get angry, and I know the pleasure of being praised.
I am often on the verge of tears or laughter,
But beneath of these emotions, what else is there?
How can I touch it?
If there isn’t anything…
why would I be so certain that there is?

I searched it and found out that it is from his book “Fragrant Palm Leaves”.  It is based on his journals from 1962 through 1966.  I just ordered it and plan on devouring it as soon as I get it.

Back to the documentary, I expected a journey into mindfulness, but it seemed to have never picked up momentum. The train never really left the station for me.

Looking back, I don’t think I watched the documentary as mindful as I should have been.  I kept expecting a big aha moment.  I was not watching it in the moment, I was watching it expecting the next moment.  The next moment never came.

Perhaps that is the lesson that I should carry with me: less expectations.  Be in the moment, in the very moment.  Welcome the moment.  Have no expectations of that moment.   Let the moment wash over you as a fresh rain, take it in, get wet.

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”  Thich Nhat Hanh

One day after another, we keep going

07 Saturday Oct 2017

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

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“There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’
No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.”  – Dalai Lama XIV

I am as shocked as most people are over the tragedy in Las Vegas. While the Hurricane was also tragic, specially the situation in Puerto Rico, which is heartbreaking, Las Vegas is incomprehensible.  The sheer thought that one person alone could cause such atrocity is beyond understanding.  It is revolting, scary, and alarming. We can almost understand Mother Nature, but the evil in mankind leaves me speechless.

When will this stop? It keeps escalating. How can owning such weapons be okay? I doubt our forefathers had Automatic Rifles in mind when they decided on the Right to Bear Arms.

I pray for peace. I pray for miracles. I pray for guidance.  Prayer is not enough, I understand that.  Prayer without action, without doing my part is meaningless. But Prayer brings peace.  Prayer brings clarity, brings comfort and solace.

What else can I do, other than sign petitions and contact my local representative?  Who is he/she anyway?  Are they really representing me?

***

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”  – Amit Ray

S. and I still email daily.  I am still not sure if it is going anywhere.  At times I want to meet him, other times I want to preserve things as they are.

We had a minor disagreement the other day. I thought it was rude to just leave a conversation and not say good bye, only to resurface several hours later like nothing happened. He said and I quote: “You seem to think it’s not okay to miss someone, even if terribly, and knowing they’ll be back”

I guess he has a point. I also guess he has never been ghosted before. What is annoying is not somebody disappearing; it is not knowing if they will ever come back.

I decided to relax and take it for what it is: a fun friend that comes and goes. Still I enjoy exchanging messages with him and will continue to do so until we either meet, get tired of each other, or get significant others, whatever comes first.

Speaking of meetings, I decided to go back to online dating sites. I miss going out on dates. I miss dressing up, having an alcoholic beverage, flirting and the potential of a second date and a kiss.

I also miss all the different people I meet. I miss their stories. They teach me a lot about myself.

I thought I would do so much with my life while away from online dating but nothing has changed. I am still not blogging as often as I would like.

Oh well, I will not pressure myself about that either.

***

“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”  – Dalai Lama XIV

I am not sure I have mentioned my problem with hives. Yes, besides, back, hip and neck/collarbone issues I also deal with hives. I am damaged goods, or perhaps those are the signs of a life lived well, or perhaps just the sign of a body not being taken care of as a temple.

After consulting with several doctors, including an allergist that assured me I am not allergic to anything: “perhaps a little allergy to dust”,  I am still not close to figuring why most days at the end of the day I break out in hives. Most of the time is annoying but not crazy, but yesterday it was just unbearable.

In looking at what I had to eat and what I did throughout the day the only thing that I would consider out of the ordinary for me was having a few slices of salami at dinner time. Could I be allergic to salami, or something in it?

I keep wanting to start a food diary and never do it, perhaps the time to start is now.  I had 10 years ago and it was an incredible weight loss tool.  I need to do it again.

***

Be here now and forget the rest!

08 Friday Apr 2016

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“Reality doesn’t impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.” -Anais Nin

This was another “feeling weird” week.  Perhaps it is PMS or the phase of the moon, or perhaps it is just the aftershocks of turning 50.  Whatever it is I need to escape this feeling, this rut.

Speaking of escape I am leaving for Brazil next week.  Going to see my family always fills me with mixed feelings and anxiety.  It can be the best time ever, but always there is some underlining stupid issue that becomes some drama. This time I am making a point of making it the best trip ever.  I am not going to let anything and/or anyone mess up my trip.  It is not the situation; it is how I let it affect me and how I react to it.  This time I am not letting anything affect me…well  I promise to try.

“Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.” – Epictetus

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“Change comes from confrontation. You have to be confronted or confront yourself.” – Bryant McGill

This week I had a disagreement with the workers at a Cuban restaurant near my job.  I was buying food for a homeless man and wanted them to give me more rice.  They insisted there was plenty of rice in the container and that I would have to buy another container just for rice for $5.00.  I said I had no problem in paying extra but wanted the extra rice in the same container, as well as the broccoli, which they also insisted on putting in another container (there was plenty of room in the same container).  The manager comes over and tells me those are the rules.  I am thinking to myself: is this really happening?  I am willing to pay whatever he wants to charge, I just want everything in the same container.  Does anyone here have common sense? I am saving them money, by not wasting separate containers.  Plus what happened to “the customer is always right”? I had even explained to them that I didn’t want to hand the man 3 containers and thought it would be easier for him to have it all in one. They couldn’t care less what my reasons were.

At that point I had a decision to make. A) I could continue insisting and making more of a scene, B)I could leave the restaurant and go someplace else or  C) I could get the food as is and move on.  I chose C.  I got the plate as is, no extra rice, with the broccoli on the side.  Sometimes one has to forget about feelings and principals and look at the bottom line.  The bottom line was I wanted to buy someone a hot meal on a cold rainy day.  Being right or getting my way was secondary and meaningless.

When I get to the cashier, the girl, who had been watching this whole interaction says to me:  I can put the broccoli in the same container if you want, that is simple. What? Now? After all this? I said: no, thank you, I just want to get out of here.

I think they now think I am this demanding customer, when I am totally the opposite.  Or am I?  And really, what do I care what people think of me?  What is important is that the man had this huge smile on his face when I returned with his food. (I had asked him first if I could buy him lunch, so he had been waiting for it).

“Welcome the present moment as if you had invited it. It is all we ever have so we might as well work with it rather than struggling against it. We might as well make it our friend and teacher rather than our enemy.” – Pema Chodron

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I started using Instagram.  I decided it would be a nice thing to go along with my blog, since for some reason sometimes I cannot add photos to my posts.   I just didn’t realize how much I would enjoy it.

I am the type of person that is always on auto-pilot. I go from one thing to the next without paying attention.  I get things done, I focus on results and often I forget how I got there.  I miss the details and the beauty in them. Instagram is changing that.

Instagram makes me pay attention to details.  I am paying attention to everything.  I see things I have never seen before.  Now I stop and see the flowers.

I used to think that people that took pictures of everything missed the moment.  Now I am one of them and I can tell you I am not missing the moment, I am focusing on the moment.  I am seeing and seizing the moment.

Wishing you all a blessed weekend!  Stop and smell the flowers.  Look around and discover all the hidden treasures!

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.” – Henry David Thoreau

My work is never done – Happily working and progressing!

12 Thursday Dec 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” ― Aristotle

Some days the quote above really comes to mind when I think how far I came emotionally in the last couple of years.  It seems that the more I learn about myself, the more I fine tune, the more I work on things I think need to work on, the more I realize how much more work I need.

That is not to say that I am not giving myself credit for all the work.  I feel that spiritually and emotionally I am at a much better place and only scratching the surface of how awesome I can become.  I am excited to put in more work and watch myself blossom.

“Hard work does not go unnoticed, and someday the rewards will follow” 
― Allan Rufus

Here are some of the things that I am constantly trying to work on:

Being fully present in every moment.  Concentrating on the now is one of the best things you can do for your future.  The past is gone.  Some memories are good but to continue to relive the past is not healthy or beneficial.  At the same time don’t just live in the future. Do not dream of how amazing your life will be when something you really want happens, such as losing weight.  Start living that life now and do whatever you want to do now! Be conscious of every moment, pay attention to every moment.  Don’t be a robot!

“Forever is composed of nows.” 
― Emily Dickinson

Stay away from negative energy/people. We all know some people that sag our energy,  that drag us down.  They have a way of making us feel defensive or irritated or cause us to have some other negative feeling, so why choose to share space with them? Stay away!  Of course sometimes it is not possible to avoid them, in that case don’t give them power and opportunity. Don’t engage them in unnecessary conversation.

“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” 
― Joel Osteen

Stay away from bad influences and situations.  I know that there are certain situations I am vulnerable to.  For example, I know that there are certain types of guys that I start talking to and energy flows but I know they are not good for me in the end, but I am having fun so I continue in the slippery slide.  I need to avoid putting myself in those situations that I know it will not be a good for me.  Another sensitive area is sugar.  I know that if I buy a whole chocolate cake I will be tempted to slowly eat the whole thing, so now I only buy a slice. So this goes back to being present in the moment and asking myself if what I am about to do is beneficial to me in the long run.

Stay busy and active with things that matter. An idle mind is the devil’s playground.  That is so true and to that I will add: an idle body is also the devil’s playground.  But don’t just keep yourself busy with just anything.  Busy yourself with activities that benefit you and/or others.  Learn, build, construct, help, etc.  Make your actions meaningful.  With that being said, make sure to rest and have fun.  Don’t be a slave to and addicted to anything. Even healthy habits can be detrimental if you make them your God.  Practice balance and moderation!

Be kind to yourself.  No one is perfect.  We all err, and sometimes we make the same mistake twice, three times.  Don’t penalize yourself.   Take ownership of the mistake and move on.  Promise yourself that you will do better next time. Reward yourself for goals met and for accomplishments.  Don’t wait for anyone to tell you how awesome you are!   Be your biggest fan!

Act with love and kindness.  Just think of everyone as your brother/sister and treat them as such.  Even when it is the hardest thing to do, and is at that time that there is more value in doing it. Choose kindness, understanding and forgiveness.

“Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV

You are always and already whole and perfect as God intended.  Nobody can take away your values and morals.  People and circumstances may leave you feeling down, deflated, less than perfect.  Things and people may break your heart, your bones, take your money and material things, but no one can take your essence away.  Stay true to them.  Stay true to your morals and beliefs.  Don’t let anyone make you think that you not a good person.

“There are two kinds of perfect: The one you can never achieve, and the other, by just being yourself.” 
― Lauren King

Accept pain and problems as lessons and opportunities for growth.  Each roadblock is a little step towards a better you, towards a better future.  Each situation offers a chance for growth.  So welcome the hardship, but don’t suffer unnecessarily. Contemplate the situation and learn as much as you can from it.  Understand the part you played in it so not to repeat it.  Don’t stay in the pain and don’t act like a victim!

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”― Haruki Murakami

Never lose faith and hope.  No matter what happens in your life proceed with the faith and knowledge that as long as you continue working hard the best outcome will be yours.  Realize that at the most difficult times your faith is being tested, and that is when you need to believe the most!  Believe in yourself and the Creator and Universe within you!

“Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right.” 
― Max Lucado

Don’t be reactive!  I am quick to react to anything, good or bad.  I normally blame it on being an Impulsive and impatient Aries.  Be in control of your steps and movements and actions.  Before anything, Stop and reflect!  (This one I learned, well still learning, in Kabbalah and I am still trying to apply to my life. It is not easy, before I know I already reacted)

“Spiritual practice involves being constantly aware.” 
― Shri Radhe Maa

Last, but not least, Smile! Don’t forget to smile! Smile in good times and in bad times smile even more!

“Peace begins with a smile..” 
― Mother Teresa