When you think you have a new friend they show their true colors. I was happy that I had finally gotten a dance partner. I had a couple of dates with him, then I felt he was playing games and decided that I was not interested in him romantically. I wrote about him in the past. Still we decided to became friends and dance partners.
Now I realized that he was never okay with my not wanting to date him. Last Wednesday after dance class I had agreed to go to dinner with him. He always wants to go to dinner after class but I often decline. This time I said yes.
At dinner he was curious to find out about my second date with this one guy I had mentioned to him. Since we had become friends I thought it was okay to share dating stories with him. I told him about the date and why there were probably not going to be a third date in the future. He took that opportunity to tell that I am too hard on people. That I don’t give men a chance.
From there he proceeded to say what a rude person I was. He said that he couldnt wait for the classes to be over because I had been rude from day 1. I was shocked! For a minute I searched my brain for an instance that I could have been rude to him, and I just couldnt find.
I was so shocked with and how he was telling me that tears started running down my face. He was being so rude and harsh, I should have gotten up and walked away, instead I sat down and cried.
I asked him to tell me of a time where I had been rude and after he searched his brain for awhile he said that I would keep pushing his arm up. I used to do that to remind him to keep his posture and he never had any problem with that.
From the first dance lesson he has been always apologetic for not keeping up and I always go out of my way to tell him that there is no problem. That I enjoy going and getting reminded of the dance steps. I always trying to compliment him and say he is getting better and not to show any disappointment.
For a few minutes I thought to myself: is it possible that I have been this rude and never realized
After a sleepless night I realized that I can be too honest and upfront but I have never been rude to him. If anything I have been extra nice to him.
I wasted my money on lessons where I learned nothing because it was all focused on him learning to get to my level.
I have bought him 4 books to help him deal with his daughter and life. I have spent hours after class talking to him, letting him vent and providing advice. I have been nothing but supportive. All of a sudden for him to attack me was not only shocking it was uncalled for. He was the rude one for making me cry and not even apologizing.
After he said what he said he also said that he wants to take the last lesson (we have one left). I said you can go ahead and take it alone. If I have been so awful why endure one more lesson.
I told the dance instructor about it. And the first thing she asked was if he was not interested in me. She also said that perhaps he will call and apologize, which an apology this late in the game is meaningless to me.
I think that he was interested in lessons because he wanted to date me, and since I havent changed my mind and will not change my mind he lashed out on me, on behalf of every guy I turned down before, I guess.
I accept criticism and the truth but in this case there is no truth to it.
I was hurt for a couple of days, but now I am over it. I will not accept someone disrespecting me and talking to me in such a way. I deserve better and in my life there is no room for poor treatment.
I am just disappointed that I thought of him as a friend. And he was just a snake in the grass. But I am happy that I got to find his true colors now.
Friends may fight, disagree and not see eye to eye, but friends to not go out of their way to hurt you, belittle you, and make you feel insignificant. That is not a friend, that is an insecure person that to feel good about themselves they need to put another person down. Run.