Tags
in love or just needy, over the top, ready to be in a relationship, slow down, too many compliments, too much too soon, you move too fast
On Sunday I had a first date with the accountant that lives over an hour away in NJ. He hit traffic, so it turned into an even longer drive. He kept me informed along the way. We ended up meeting an hour later than expected.
Unbeknownst to him, he picked a place within walking distance from me, Alvin and Friends, so his lateness was not a problem for me. The food was great, I had ribs. Yes, I had ribs on a first date! He had the rosemary chicken. Both delicious!
The drinks were awful. Later I saw that there seemed to be no bartender, the hostess appeared to be making the drinks. I sent my drink back. I also mentioned to the waitress that they got my date’s order wrong. He thought it was cute that I was “defending him”. His words.
I am not a complainer and normally don’t make a big deal about things, but when it seems that the wait staff is not paying attention and is just careless, I will speak up. Politely.
Getting back to the date. He is better in person, in all senses. He was handsome, funny, and very intelligent. The conversation was great.
BUT, there is always a but! He paid me compliments! Yes, how dared he!!! Lol
I mean, he paid me too many compliments. Yes, there is such a thing. He went on and on, on how I was beautiful, smart, fun, etc. He said that I was animated and talked with my hands. He said my happiness was contagious. He would look at me with puppy eyes and marvel at how beautiful I was. It was over the top.
The next day, Monday morning, he texted me at 7:03am, see below. I made a point of not replying until later.
His enthusiasm is definitely too much too soon. This hurry, this sense of urgency, smells of despair and neediness, and that is not a great smell on a man, or anyone, for that matter. It makes me feel it is not about how great I am, but instead, it is about how needy they are.
I think he is a great guy, but this hurry, just makes me want to run. With the experience of that last guy, I am not even telling him to slow down anymore. I am just talking to him tonight, wishing him luck and moving on. They may say they can slow down, but they really can’t.
charliecountryboy said:
My but he is an eager beaver, isn’t he? 😂 You must be very beautiful indeed, it sounds like you swept him off his feet 😂
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A Star on the Forehead said:
hahaha he certainly thinks I am all that, but I am definitely not everyone’s cup of tea.
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charliecountryboy said:
Is anyone, Ana? 😂😂
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A Star on the Forehead said:
good point!!
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beth said:
I get what you’re saying, baby steps please…. otherwise it terrifies me
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A Star on the Forehead said:
exactly, when they are too eager, I run!
Blessings to you Beth!
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dfolstad58 said:
How dare he compliment you! ha ha I think I understand, if you open a window for this guy he will swoop in feeling. It reminded me though of Mark Twain – he said he was embarrassed by compliments, disliked them in fact because……………. they stopped too soon. ♥
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A Star on the Forehead said:
hahaha, that is funny!
everything in moderation, even compliments.
Blessings!
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Cassa Bassa said:
😀😅he was miles ahead of reality…
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A Star on the Forehead said:
for sure! planning to stay in a hotel, etc, is just too much.
Wishing you a blessed weekend! ♥
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Cassa Bassa said:
💚
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Sheree said:
I think you’re spot on
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you Sheree!
Have a blessed weekend! ♥
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Sheree said:
You too
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utesmile said:
Moderation is good. Compliments are great but not over the top yes. Enjoy them though, but if it is too fast for you, let them know, as you do!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
You are right Ute, moderation is key!!
Wishing you a blessed weekend! ♥
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The V Pub said:
Great. First we find out that Covid is contagious, and now – you’re happiness is contagious, too. When will it end???? 😀
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Indeed! you have been warned, don’t get near me or you will become instantly happy.
There is no mask or hand sanitizer that can prevent it! 🙂
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DutchIl said:
Thank you for sharing!!… 🙂
“Never say I love you
If you really don’t care,
Never talk about feelings
If they really aren’t there.
Never hold my hand
If your going to break my heart
Never say your going to
If you don’t plan to start.
Never look into my eyes
If all you do is lie
Never say hello
If you really mean goodbye.
If you really mean forever
Then say you will try,
If not, then never say forever
Cause forever makes me cry
(Author Unknown)
Until we meet again…
May the sun shine all day long
Everything go right, nothing go wrong
May those you love bring love back to you
And may all the wishes you wish come true
(Irish Saying)
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you Larry!
I love, love, love this!!
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JanBeek said:
Lots of red flags there. Yup, he’s waaaay too needy. And obsessed with how much this or that costs. You can do better. Move on!!
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Jan,
That is a very good point you have, when you say he is obsessed about how much things cost. Thank you for that! I just realized that every conversation involves something about how much money he is making or saving now and in the future. Blessings!
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Dave said:
It’s a good example of how texting complicates a budding relationship. Without texting this person would’ve suggested another date at the end of the first one (or even better, called you the next day). Instead, he waits for the option to hide behind his typing. Not sure what this says about him but I can’t imagine his suggesting “staying over” to your face. Glad you recognized the dead giveaway of his neediness.
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Dave,
Good point! Texting makes it very easy for people to say things that they would not normally say otherwise. There is also a lot miscommunication with texting. Some jokes don’t goes as planned and relationship becomes doomed before they get started.
He was way too eager even on the date, so I was already thinking about declining a second date. I have to just let him know now that I am not interested in anything. I have a problem letting people down.
Thank you and blessings to you!
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Carol anne said:
Definitely it sounds as if he’s needy! 7:03 AM? Wow! Too damn early in my opinion! X
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Hi Carol Anne
I agree. Specially after one date only.
Blessings to you!
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Cindy Georgakas said:
look how attuned to your senses you’ve gotten…. 1 and done…love it! no grass grows in desperation! 💖💖💖👏
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A Star on the Forehead said:
haha, indeed, no desperation here, NEXT!
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Cindy Georgakas said:
Bravo and well said!!! 👏👏👏
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c.a. said:
Go to a good Bible-teaching church. Much better prospects, keeping in mind there ARE wolves among the sheep as well, so you still have to be discerning, but obviously you are. Church guys beat internet and bar meetings, hands down.
😉
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A Star on the Forehead said:
Thank you for the advice! There are indeed great people in church, but there are also good people in the internet and bars,
Since I don’t go to church that often, I don’t feel someone that goes to church religiously would be a good fit for me.
Blessings to you!
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