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“Oh, poor human! You have so many dreams, but so short period of time! You are living in the ocean of desires, but dying in the deserts of limited time! Oh, poor human!”― Mehmet Murat ildan

What happened to Wednesdays? Since I started working from home, about 1 month ago, I haven’t seen a Wednesday yet.  Every week it jumps from Tuesday to Thursday. It is the weirdest thing.  Is anybody else feeling the same thing or is it just me? 

I am making a point of not missing this Wednesday, tomorrow. We shall see…

“When a man has little time, he must take care to maintain his calm. We must act as if we had eternity before us.”― Umberto Eco

As I mentioned in the prior post I am busier than usual. Besides all that I already do at my job, and taking longer to do it since my set up at home is not ideal, I am now dealing with organizing our relocation.  It turns out I will only go back to my office in NY City to pack.

I have also been busy with getting all the applications filled out and the computations calculated for the PPP government loan.  I thought that we, my job, would be immune to this crisis, but no one really is.  The energy market has been so insane that most of our customers are too scared to move. So our business, which is mostly in Crude Oil and Ethanol, has suffered drastically. 

“The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly; it is dearness only that gives everything its value. I love the man that can smile in trouble, that can gather strength from distress and grow.”― Thomas Paine

We had to fill applications 3 times due to each time being transferred to a different vendor/department.  Each time we were promised that we would not lose our place in line.  Guess what? we lost it.  So we didn’t get the loan on the first go, and we are now waiting to see if we can still get it.  

I have been reading about all the big public companies that applied and got huge loans.  That was never the intention of this program, but then again that is often the case, the ones that need the most never get it.  And I am not even talking about my firm, we need it, but there are others that need the most.  I would like to see all the little local businesses get help before all others.

“I looked up fairness in the dictionary and it was not there.”― William Giraldi

Now going back to this move that my boss has been talking about forever.  It is happening now. Instead of an office in Manhattan we will now have an office in New Jersey for the employees that live in that area and an office in my city, New Rochelle, for the employees that live in the NY area. or all that is 

I will be working 5 blocks from my apartment.  My commute will be a 5 minute walk.  This move will save me $250.00 for the train pass and 1 hour of commuting a day.  

It is also a new beginning in a way.  I love new beginnings.  I was really bored and unhappy at my job.  This gives me a chance to like it again or to realize that I am really done with it.

“We get a second chance at everything, including our mistakes.”―  Christopher X. Shade

It feels bittersweet. I have been working in Manhattan for almost 20 years. I thought I would have a chance to say a proper goodbye.  I don’t even know what I mean by a proper good bye.  

It is as if I am quitting Manhattan cold turkey. No time for goodbyes.  I know I am being a bit dramatic.  It is not as if I can’t ever go back.  I only live 30 minutes away by train and I am sure I will go back every now and then for a show, museum or a drink with someone.

At the end of the day my list of struggles is long (having some personal financial issues that I am losing sleep over, but who isn’t?), but my list of blessings continues to be immense! I am never losing sight of that!

“When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.”― C.S. Lewis

I have to go now, there is an electrician wanting to know how many outlets I want in each wall, there are boxes to order, there are vendors to be notified, the list is endless. 

Keep safe, healthy and creating joy every day.

“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry