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“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers
but to be fearless in facing them.

Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain
but for the heart to conquer it.

Let me not look for allies in life’s battlefield
but to my own strength.

Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.

Grant that I may not be a coward,
feeling your mercy in my success alone;

But let me find the grasp of your hand in my failure.” – Tagore

This was my third day working from home. I feel out of sorts.  I am a creature of habit.  Without the routine I feel lost.  Working from a desk in my bedroom I am busy the whole day and yet I don’t feel productive.  

My comfort zone is my routine and the accomplishments at work.  As I battle these uncomfortable feelings I focus on the potential growth hidden in these feelings.  

I think that at the core of this discomfort is fear.  Fear of tomorrow’s uncertainty.  I like order and I like having an idea of what the future may bring.  Now it is hard to tell.

As I put these thoughts out in the open I feel embarrassed at my silliness and even entitlement. How dare I feel lost and out of control?

“Man is not to fight with other human races, other human individuals, but his work is to bring about reconciliation and Peace and to restore the bonds of friendship and love. We are not like fighting beasts. It is the life of self which is predominating in our life, the self which is creating the seclusion, giving rise to sufferings, to jealousy and hatred, to political and commercial competition. All these illusions will vanish, if we go down to the heart of” ― Tagore

Today I woke up in my cozy bed, in my big bedroom.  I woke up safe and sheltered.  I don’t have to worry about where my next meal is coming from.  If I miss a few paychecks life will not fall apart. 

If I catch Coronavirus I have insurance and I am in the US, where, although healthcare needs improving it is still much better and more available than in a lot other countries.

Although I worry about my elderly parents far away in Brazil I know they are being well taken care of by my brother.  I really have nothing to complain about.

Living in the US, specifically in NY state, it is easy to take everything for granted.  For so many around the world, and even here in the US, Coronavirus is not even a thought as their daily struggles are as basic as food, shelter, clean water, electricity, etc.   

Feeling lost because I am working from home is a luxury.  Many would give anything for a home and a job. That thought slaps me in the face.

“Perhaps the new dawn will come from this horizon, from the East where the sun rises; and then, unvanquished Man will retrace his path of conquest, despite all barriers, to win back his lost heritage. ” ― Tagore

I return to gratitude, a space that I inhabit well.  A place where I belong.   Gratitude grounds me.  It provides me with the perspective I need in uncertain times.

Although there are moments I forget,  I am blessed and I know it. And so are you.

Be safe, be grateful and be blessed!  Above all, be kind!

All the poems/quotes here are from Tagore.  In 1913 Rabindranath Tagore was the first non-European person to win a Nobel Prize for Literature. He was born in Indian 1861 and died in 1941. He was a poet and scholar. 

“Where the mind is without fear
and the head is held high,
where knowledge is free.
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls.
Where words come out from the depth of truth,
where tireless striving stretches its arms toward perfection.
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost it’s way
into the dreary desert sand of dead habit.
Where the mind is led forward by thee
into ever widening thought and action.
In to that heaven of freedom, my father,