Tags
Donald Trump, Immigration Reform, love always, love your enemy, more love and sensitivity, ok to be a racist now, respect all, step into each other's shoes
“It’s an universal law– intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.” – Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn
G., who I thought would be a good friend showed me his true colors. We were texting back and forth the other day when he made a rude comment about the fact that I was an illegal immigrant once. I replied that his comment was not cool.
He said that he was making fun of me when I was 17 years old and first arrived in this country and not of the present successful American citizen I had become. As if that made it okay. Because I was able to find a law to fit in (applying as an unskilled laborer), and also because I was lucky to win the Green Lottery I am now immune to the attacks on illegal immigrants.
I said I sympathize with all the illegal immigrants and their search for a better life. They could be me. I was them. Again I explained I found his remarks very insensitive. I wanted him to see it from my point of view. It didn’t work.
He continued trying to justify his remarks by going on and on with ignorant blanket statements. At one point he asked: “what will happen when the free beer and chips run out?” implying that the immigrants come here only to get things for free.
That was even more insulting to me as I never took a single dime from the government for anything. I know some illegals do use and abuse, but to generalize it is ignorance.
“Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.” Walter Cronkite
I said to him: “My huge tax bill pays for services and freebies for tons of lazy Americans and illegals alike.”
This is not complaining about my tax bill, I am paying a lot because I am making a lot. I see it as a reflection of my success. I said that to him to remind him that not all immigrants are liabilities, some are incredible assets.
This is also not to say that I don’t believe in public assistance services. They are very much needed and should be used by anyone in need. I want my tax money to help others.
I think deep down inside he resents me for being in a better financial condition than he is. He also resents me because I said I didn’t want to see him romantically again. He found the perfect way to attack me by attacking people like me.
I said to him that I agreed that we needed an Immigration Reform and I can see both sides of the argument. I added that I rather not talk about a subject that we clearly have opposite views on. He then called me a Liberal, I called him a Trumpster and he continued his speech.
I don’t have a problem discussing difficult subjects with people but in this case I didn’t want to waste my breath with someone that clearly was set on one way of thinking and no matter what I said wasn’t willing to listen. He seemed intent on hurting me. Such ignorance!
The Immigration topic is not a simple one. I can see both sides of the argument. I choose to view it from the point of love and understanding. We are all one under God and on this Earth. Let’s see our fellow human as a person no matter where he comes from, no matter his color, race, sexual orientation, point of view, etc.
“All things truly wicked start from innocence.” – Ernest Hemingway
Let’s step on into each other’s shoes and imagine how it feels. I expect more from the people that know me and know how hard I have worked to be where I am now and to have all that I have. I expected more from him.
It shocks me that I didn’t know how he felt this whole time. It is true that I avoided speaking of Trump. It is true that I would be dying to see him, then when I was with him things wouldn’t go quite right. There was something off. Now, looking back, I see hints that I should have picked up on.
I really dodged a bullet. He is not boyfriend material and he is not friend material. I hope that he reflects on our conversation and perhaps realize how insensitive he was. Perhaps a little light bulb of sensitivity will eventually go on.
I doubt it!
Racism and nonacceptance were always here, but I blame Trump for making it okay for people to attack each other and spout misinformation. The President is on Twitter attacking whoever he thinks doesn’t fit his idea of great America. Why would I think the average Joe would be more considerate, more understanding?
Love is the way out. Love is the only way. I am choosing Love. I am choosing to send love to G., but I am choosing not to be his friend and be subjected to his views anymore.
“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” – Isaac Asimov
Your well expressed personal words on your experience reminds me the wise words of Maya Angelo when she told us that when someone tells you who they are, believe them. All my best to you on this Labor Day Weekend. Thank you.
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Hi JoHanna
I spend a lot time making excuses for people, giving them second and third chances, always wanting to see the best in them.
It will be wise for me to heed Maya Angelo’s advice. Thank you for the reminder and for the best wishes!
Wishing you a blessed week ahead! 🙂
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The funeral of John McCain showed us how great we are and how low others have sunk. I have friends on opposite sides of the political divide, and I don’t know how they do it. When I ask my female friends how they manage knowing their husbands support a misogynist, they reply that they just don’t discuss. I don’t think I’d be able to maintain such a relationship. My husband and I share core beliefs on religion, politics, and social issues. He’s my best friend, and with a best friend, I need to be able to talk about everything. I’m glad you discovered the true feelings of this man before it went any further. The fact that he kept on defending his statement after you made yourself clear on your views says it all. I have said since 2015, that the orange monster gave all the a**holes permission to come out of their underground caves.
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Hi Patricia
I couldn’t agree with you more.
I do have friends with different points of view and the only way we are able to still be friends is to not talk about certain subjects. With that being said I realize I keep seeing them less and less. It is hard to connect when the values are so different.
I, similar to you, don’t think I would be able to be with someone with opposite views/values.
Indeed, the fact that he continued on when I mentioned how I felt showed me that he had complete disregard for my feelings. I lost all the respect I had for him.
I love your last line!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I wish you a blessed week! 🙂
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I agree with you. We will not have happiness in this world until we see each and every human being as such.
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Thank you for seeing my way. We need more union and less separation.
Wishing you a blessed week! 🙂
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Well said – and how rude and insensitive this person is. Trump (ugh- I hate even writing his name) has made it OK to have no compassion for others. Shame on him and those like him who think that it’s OK to treat and talk about people who need America the most like they are nothing.
AND by the way – I want to let you know – in case you didn’t see – that
Judicial Watch, a right-wing anti-immigrant website https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/judicial-watch/ put a petition on this post “Sign this petition and stop George Soros and his devious activities”. I reported the ad.
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Thank you! I agree, he made it ok to discriminate, to be an open racist and proud of it.
I don’t need to be friend with people like him. I am glad I found that out sooner rather than later.
I hadn’t seen that. Thank you for pointing it out. i will check it out!
Many blessings! 🙂
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Bravo and couldn’t agree more.
My grandparents were all immigrants and unless your friend is Native American, he was an immigrant once, too. Sheesh, some people are so entitled.😒🙄
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Thank you! It is hard for me to understand his thinking.
The entitlement and ownership some people feel just because they were born on a certain side of an invisible line is just incomprehensible to me.
I understand the need for laws and rules, but everyone could benefit for a little more kindness in the enforcing of those rules.
Sending you blessings! 🙂
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Without diversity we would all be extinct. Diversity makes a breed stronger!
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Great point! Right on! 🙂
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Good for you for choosing not to be his friend anymore. You have to protect your space and your energy. I had to do something similar this past weekend when a Facebook friend, who disagreed with my last blog post, chose to write a scathing, nasty commentary under the post. I deleted his commentary and blocked him. He is known for that – always on the verbal attack with any and everyone.
He reads all my post (I know this because he’s told me) and never offers a compliment on the ones that he liked or agrees with. Never as much as a “well written” comment but as soon as he disagrees he goes in for the kill. Obviously, it’s okay to not agree with all my opinions, but there is a way to express your dissenting opinion without being obnoxious and condescending. Further, if you have zero compliments to give when I do a decent job at something then you’re not allowed to criticize, especially when you’re not doing so in a constructive manner.
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Hi Rakkelle
Good for the both of us for choosing who we surround ourselves with. We don’t need opinionated, hurtful and negative energy in our lives.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have seen those types. They lurk around just waiting for something they can criticize, just waiting for a moment to spew their venom and toxicity.
I can accept disagreement and I respect opinions that are different than mine but I will not stand around for disrespect and insensitivity. I suspect you are the same.
Here is to us continuing to grow stronger and smarter, capable of making the right choices even if difficult.
Many blessings to you! 🙂
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You cannot open a mind that is so tight shut. Don’t even bother trying. I read sour grapes from him, because you don’t date him anymore, the green eyed monster is also alive and well and he is cultivating it nicely. What a shame he can’t do a better job with himself. This is his failure, let him keep it.
I admire you greatly, as I suspect do a great many other people. x
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Thank you so much for your kind words!
I do suspect that sour grapes did have something to do with him not letting up.
At any rate it was good finding out soon that even a friendship is out of question.
Wishing you many blessings! 🙂
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Citizens of the World, unite. You have nothing to lose but your prejudice.
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Well said! Blessings! 🙂
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You show great wisdom and dignity.
It may interest this ‘white natives’ wing of the US population that they would be subjected to the same style of ignorant and prejudiced assumptions from their mirror-image cousins in the UK’s far left-wing . Maybe they should come over here and face it, then reflect on how it feels.
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Thank you so much!
Great point and great idea!
It would be indeed awesome if there was a way that people could experience each other’s life so that they would know exactly how it feels to be discriminated against.
Wishing you a blessed week! 🙂
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Thank you and to you too.🌸 🌼 🌻 🌞
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Thank you! Sunflowers and daisies are my favorite flowers. 🌻🌼😀
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😃
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You absolutely dodged a bullet there! Remember, sometimes when things don’t work out they way we would like them to, there is a reason.
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Hi Dee
Yes indeed, he seemed so perfect and at the same time there were hints of something being off.
I need to thank my guardian angels and move on. No looking back!
Wishing you a blessed week! 🙂
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🙏🙏🙏
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I agree with many things you have said in this post. And most importantly I agree that the current GOP Administration ( I made a decision recently to not use the name of the current president unless I HAD to.) has given a stamp of approval to racism and bigotry and …..and …and…. Good post and bravo for saying this and for taking a stand with the friend.
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Nice thought process
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Thank you! Blessings! 🙂
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