, , , , , , ,

Empty Chair

What comes to mind when you look at the picture above? Peace and tranquility?  Solitude and loneliness?

What do you see first, the beautiful vast mountain or the cold empty chair?

To me it is impossible not to see the brilliance of God and not to feel immensely blessed to have the opportunity of witnessing such majestic views.

There was also a pang of sadness as this was my last day in the resort and I imagined the chair was empty because I was leaving.

I just returned from my skiing adventure in Park City, Utah. I am still shaky and lack confidence in my skiing skills but I am proud of myself for not giving up on something I have grown to love but that it remains challenging.

I enjoy the freedom of being on the mountain and making my way down at my own pace, not pretty and not perfect but always feeling powerful when I arrive at the bottom.

“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.” – Albert Einstein

I didn’t do much, other than skiing during the day and walking around in town in the evenings.  Did I feel alone? Not really.  Would I rather have someone there with me?  Absolutely!  Everything is better when shared with a loved one.

Last time I went skiing alone I made contact with people that were going to be at the resort at the same time I would.  I made plans to meet a couple of people and one became a good friend/pen pal. This time I didn’t have the time/inclination/energy to spend time posting and doing research on people to meet, so I knew there would be dinners alone.

“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.” – Charlotte Bronte

I am coming to the realization that loneliness is a state of mind.  I skied alone, I sat in restaurants alone and yet I didn’t feel alone.  I talked to people around me. Some were happy to talk while others were monosyllable.  It didn’t bother me when someone didn’t feel like talking.  Not taking things personally is a skill that I am mastering.

I am sufficient, I am enough!  It is a great realization!  The more self sufficient, the happier I am alone,  the better a partner I will be when the right person comes along.  There is empowered in solo adventures.

I plan on doing much more travelling alone if no one wants to come with me.  Everyone is welcome to join me but I am not waiting for anyone.  Life waits for nobody, why should I?

“At first I felt dizzy – not with the kind of dizziness that makes the body reel but the kind that’s like a dead emptiness in the brain, an instinctive awareness of the void.” – Fernando Pessoa