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Monthly Archives: April 2014

Way to go Delta!

29 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

airports, Brazil, delays, Delta Airlines, flying, JFK, traveling

Delta

On Friday night I took my Mom to JFK Airport in NY for her flight back to Brazil.  She was travelling on Delta Airlines out of their Terminal 4.  Delta’ s Terminal 4 is new and checking in is very efficient.  The wait time was under 5 minutes.

For some reason I was more nervous than my Mom this trip, and I wasn’t even travelling.  I feared Delta would not allow me to accompany her to the gate.  She looks amazing for her age (79 years), and she is normally a dynamo but the truth is she gets nervous and confused when travelling.  It doesn’t help that she knows little English.  Normally when I ask to accompany her they say no and want to put her in a wheelchair.  It would be a great idea if she accepted that suggestion, but she doesn’t.  She gets offended and hurt; after all she is able to walk.  I can understand how she feels now that I am starting to feel the years in me.

I explained the situation to the agent, well truth is, it involved more than explaining, it involved a lot begging and pleading.  I made sure to mention that I am a SkyMiles Silver Medallion (not a big deal, but something) and the proud owner of a Platinum Delta American Express (again not a big deal but it shows my support for the Delta brand.  I also let the agent know that Delta is my airline of choice, which is!

The agent, after some consideration gave me a gate pass.  I wanted to go over the counter and hug and kiss her, but I think that would not go over well, so I mentioned how much it meant to me and profusely thanked her.  One would think she just handed me a winning lottery ticket.  To me being able to accompany my mother and provide her with peace of mind is priceless.   She always fears gate changes and delays and missing the announcements.

We go through security, which for some reason they put us in a line where it is not necessary the removal of shoes and jackets and standing in the x-ray with your arms up.  We feel extra lucky.

We find the right gate, Gate 37.  We seat and get comfortable as we know we have over 2 hours to kill as we are always at the airport many hours in advance.

After 20 minutes I hear an announcement that the gate has changed from Gate 37 to Gate 22, and the flight time from 9:29 to 11pm.  Mom had no idea that whatever they were saying was about her flight.  That is exactly the reason why I like taking her to the gate.

We find gate 22 and sit down, knowing that we will have a long wait ahead of us.

I am probably one of the most understanding passengers as delays and changes to not bother me.   Of course they are annoying but they do not mess up my day and my mood.   Delays and other issues happen to any airline, what set airlines apart are how they handle those occurrences.

Delta is not perfect and at the end of this post I will mention an area that I think needs improvement, but how they handled this delay I think it was awesome.

What I applaud Delta on was making sure that the passengers were comfortable and well-informed (ok there is the language issue that I will be mentioning at the end, but they tried).  They let the passengers know that the reason for the delay was the waiting for a part for the windshield wiper that was en-route from Atlanta.  I am not a big fan of being told exactly what the delay is when it involves something mechanical but that is just me.  I know most people want to know all details and perhaps there is  some kind of law that say that airlines must have full disclosure.

What was surprisingly and welcoming was all the food and beverages they gave to passengers, and how gracious they were when anyone had a question.  For what was supposed to be a less than 2 hours delay I expected nothing.  So getting snacks was a treat!  It also made me suspicious that perhaps we were looking at a delay that would be much longer than 2 hours.  (The flight time changed to 11: 30 later. I think they started boarding at about 11, and it took off after midnight)

They set out a cart with all kinds of beverages and another cart with all kinds of snacks, such as crackers, chips, granola bars, cookies, candy.  Later they passed a basket with chocolate (always a winner in my book).  Later they offered a delicious ham, cheese and arugula sandwich, fresh and delicious.  By then I had already over indulged on the snacks so I took mine home and ate the next day.  They also gave passengers playing cards.

Perhaps airlines are waking up and realizing that a little can go a long way.  In the 30 years I have been traveling there were plenty of delays and I don’t remember ever getting offered anything.

My mother told me that after she had boarded the plane they continued their awesome customer service trying to make passengers comfortable by offering extra pillows and blankets, etc.  My mother was sleeping at the time the dinner was served, but later the flight attendant made sure to check on her and see if she wanted her dinner.  And in the morning when she refused breakfast he once again showed his concern.  She felt special.

As her daughter I am grateful for the extra care.  As a passenger I feel valued!  I care that my mother had a wonderful experience traveling with Delta, even though in the end, the delay (waiting to board and in the plane) was 3 hours.

One area needs to be improved though.  Delta needs to get a Portuguese speaking person to be at the counter during the boarding.  Most of the time they don’t have anyone and there is always an issue with a passenger, and in those occasions another passenger needs to step in to help with translation.  On this one occasion they had a passenger make the announcements.  Her Portuguese was awful. I don’t even think she spoke Portuguese, I think she spoke Spanish.  The effort is appreciated but it is just not professional and not what is expected from an airline of this caliber.

Brazilians are travelling more and more overseas (as opposed to a few years ago when a trip on a plane anywhere was just for the rich).  I venture a guess that 90% of the people traveling to Brazil on Delta flights are Brazilian.  A lot of them don’t speak English, so it just makes good business sense to ensure that when they travel next they will think of Delta.

At the end of the day what my mother and I remember most is not the delay or the lack of Portuguese, but the caring attitude of the personnel.  It is not about the food that they served, but it is the message that it sent.  It told passengers:  we care about you and we are trying to make an unpleasant situation better.

Way to go Delta!  I applaud you on the continued improvement in customer service.  You continue to be my airline of choice!

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Still talking about Ex after all this time!

24 Thursday Apr 2014

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 29 Comments

Tags

family, frustration, heartache, letting go of the past, mother, relationships, work

My feet in Brazilian soil with my favorite flower

My feet in Brazilian soil with my favorite flower

“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” ― Pema Chödrön

Between the NFA and the CFTC I am going crazy at work.  There are so many new regulations (aimed at banks) that non-banks like us need to comply with that is making so hard to continue to be in business.  The worst part is that, they themselves don’t seem to know what they want.  All these regulations are doing is putting small companies out of business.  We are still around, but it has not been easy.   It has been an exercise in calm and patience, breath in, breath out.  🙂

IN DIFFICULT MOMENTS, BEHAVE LIKE A DUCK…     Keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but keep paddling away underneath! (not sure who said it)

**

My Mom is in town, as I have mentioned, so I have shopped, gambled and ate in excess.  I have a whole new wardrobe, some extra pounds on my body and less dollars in my wallet, but I don’t care as long as Mom is happy!  The moment she leaves I am back to fish and brown rice, no casino and no shopping!

“To be happy, make others happy.” ― Stephen Richards

**

“As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.” ― Albert Einstein

Life progresses…there are moments of internal unrest…an uneasy feeling, something off, something missing.  I see those moments as a wake-up call.  They tell me that there are a lot more learning and growing to do.  Comfort creates complacency.  Nothing great has been created out of people being too comfortable in their situations.   I confess:  I get lazy.  I, like we all, have so much potential, and yet some days it is just easier to sit on the couch and watch lives being lived, instead of getting out there and living my own life.

At these turbulent times I try to be as active as I can, physically and mentally.  Accomplishing things makes me feel motivated to accomplish even more.   I also stop and reflect on how blessed I am in all aspects of my life.  Focusing on the good is a wonderful way to feel centered and in control of my life.

Control!  At the end of the day I think it all boils down to that for me.

Perhaps, at this moment, this internal unrest is called PMS and it sucks!! L

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. 
…live in the question.”  ― Rainer Maria Rilke

***

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” ― Steve Maraboli

Now getting to the real topic: my writing about the not so ex Ex!

I fear boring you, reader, with my never ending writing about Ex.  I am frankly tired of thinking and writing about Ex and fear you are probably sick of reading about it too.

What do I do?  Should I stop writing about him and give you the impression that he is just a long lost memory? Or should I continue to write about him and bore you to tears? Perhaps worst than boring you I fear giving you the incorrect impression that I am this weak, needy, lonely soul.  I am a strong, self-sufficient and happy soul, but I do struggle with letting go of Ex and the life I had with him.

This blog was created as an outlet for my heartache.  It was a way of having a voice and letting my frustrations out.  Then, you reader, you became my friend.  I want to please, inspire, motivate, and make you laugh.  How do I accomplish both things, pleasing you and pleasing me?

I don’t know.

This blog is about my life, and above all, my heart, and unfortunately Ex continues to figure in it.  I will continue to write as my heart dictates, for better or worse.  I am sorry readers if I bore you with my thoughts of ex.  I am sorry I am not this amazing person that was able to so readily and happily able to let him go.  On the other hand, you get truth, ugly and all.

My life is amazing, and Ex is a part of it, even if I dislike that part.  So the best course of action is to make peace with it.  I need to stop thinking that miraculously I will wake up one day and no longer think of him.  It is a daily struggle.

Memories of him will come and go, like memories of anything in my life, good and bad.  I will treasure the good ones and I will let go of the bad ones.  There is no deadline to stop thinking of him.  It gets easier.  It has gotten easier.

I hope you continue to come and read and indulge me while I, once in a while, wallow in self-pity.  Feel free to set me straight – somebody has to!

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” 
― Steve Maraboli
,

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Jealousy, Happiness or something else?

11 Friday Apr 2014

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

breakup, Dating, ex-boyfriend, family, ghosts from the past, happiness, jealousy, relationships

Hi friends, It has been a longer than usual…Where do I start?  Life happens… good and bad, and all I can do is manage the very little I have control of.  I realize, more and more, the need to speak less and listen more.  It seems that will be the path to my personal wisdom. My impulsive mouth gets me in trouble every time.

Moving on… Work is chaotic at times, but I realize that is when I am more productive.  Reigning over chaos makes me feel powerful.

Mom is in town, which means more of everything, more eating, more shopping, more watching TV.  Did I mention more eating?

Having Mom in town has been great for dating, and I am not being sarcastic.  It has been a great tool to weed out some of the potential dates out.  If someone cannot wait 3 weeks or less to meet me, how great a partner are they going to be for me? I am not saying they are not great, but the person for me will understand that I have a limited time with my mother and I am choosing to put her first over somebody I didn’t even meet yet.

Speaking of dating, 3 ghosts from the dating past have resurfaced.  One called wanting to check if I still had the same work number – he announced he got married.  The second wrote wishing me a happy birthday – he announced he just got engaged.  The third wrote to tell me that he has met someone and they have been dating for a couple of weeks.  I am not sure why he felt the need to write and tell me that, perhaps he wanted to share his happiness or perhaps he wanted to tell me I missed out.

I honestly don’t know how to feel about all those ghosts from the “not so far past” being happily coupled.   Originally when I heard from all 3 in the space of 2 days I confess I felt a hint of jealousy.  Then on the next second I thought to myself, shouldn’t I be happy, or perhaps even relieved? I am the one that decided not to continue to date, or even to start dating them.  My feelings haven’t changed.  They are all great guys, but not great for me.  So in the end, I am choosing to be happy that they are happy.

Perhaps the real question here is:  Will there be a great guy for me, or should I settle for a great guy period? Perhaps my heart is stuck on that one “great”(and I use the term loosely) guy that is now known as Ex, and I am blind to everyone else?

“Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence.” ― Sholem Asch

I still continue to struggle with thinking of him.  The absurdity of such situation is not lost on me.  It will be 3 years soon.  When will I stop thinking of all those happy moments?  When will I not get so sad that I was so easily replaced? I am happy and content with my single life, or am I not and just fooling myself? Now that my Mom is here I catch myself mentioning his name more and more.  I actually told her that she is allowed to slap me on the mouth if I ever say his name again.  She agreed. I am happy to say that I have not been hit yet! 🙂

When will my heart understand what my mind and soul already knows?  That part of my life is over and done with.  There were great moments, but in the end that it is all that it was: great moments.  I am deserving of more and better.  I am deserving of always and forever.

The forgiving part was easy; the forgetting part has been a battle.  I am persistent and this war is not over yet.

“Without forgetting it is quite impossible to live at all.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

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Simply getting older or getting older simply?

02 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 41 Comments

Tags

better eating, better living, Birthday, exercise, family, getting old, more love, relationships, talents

“There is not love of life without despair about life.” 
― Albert Camus, The Stranger

 This has been a surprisingly difficult post to write.   Turning 48 it is not all about cake and candles, it is all about being near 50.  Having another birthday shouldn’t be a big deal for ‘positive’ me, but yet I am facing a multitude of feelings and not all of them are good.  

All of a sudden there is this looming sense of dread, finality and mortality.  What have I done with all prior years? I have this fear of life escaping between my fingers while I daydream about it.  I fear wasting talent and good healthy years.

“The day you lose your sense of wonder is the day you grow old.” 
― Marty Rubin

My mother is turning 79 in a couple of months and, even though she is a dynamo, is amazingly sharp and in great shape, I see the years in her.  And I see myself in her. When did she get old?

This post was totally different and way too long and contemplative of the past that I cannot change.  I have made mistakes, took turns when I should have gone straight, jumped head first when I should have tiptoed in, but still there is a sense of pride in doing life as I want and not as others expect.  There is beauty in following my heart! I will relish on that!

“Youth is wasted on the young.”― Oscar Wilde

So good bye long post, the whole message in this post is only 2 lines.  It is dedicated to my twin sister (who has been in the receiving end of a lot of criticism lately).  No long lists that I never look back at.  Just 2 lines that will improve my life and my years.

  • More water, sleep and exercise.  Less mindless eating.
  • More patience and listening.  Less reaction and criticism.

“The day you lose your sense of wonder is the day you grow old.” ― Marty Rubin

I will make myself accountable by being in the moment and keeping close attention to my actions.  Progress will be met with rewards (foot massages here I come!!) Failures, well there is not failure in trying my best!

 “Mortal as I am, I know that I am born for a day. But when I follow at my pleasure the serried multitude of the stars in their circular course, my feet no longer touch the earth.” ― Ptolemy

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