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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Tag Archives: USA

The joys of returning home and being aware of my flaws!

16 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

blessings, Brazil, chances, changes, forgiveness, home, new beginnings, USA

“Every traveler has a home of his own, and he learns to appreciate it the more from his wandering.” ― Charles Dickens

I am back!! And happy to be back!

I love going away, but I love returning home even more. I love getting back to my routine, going to work, feeling like a productive member of society. I have been living in the USA for almost 30 years. I love Brazil, but US feels more like home by now. I don’t tell anyone this, but I feel a bit out of place in Brazil. It is not a matter of liking here better, is a matter of being more comfortable here – of knowing what to do and how to behave.

I had fun in Brazil; I did nothing and overindulged in sweets. I probably gained 10 pounds – no kidding! The cakes in Brazil are to die for (well, literally if you overindulge hahaha). Condensed milk and heavy cream are present in almost every dessert.

There was a major miracle during my stay there. For the first time in ages my father agreed to go to a restaurant with us. He never liked going out to eat much, or going out for any social reason for that matter. After one of his legs was amputated (a combination of cancer and diabetes) he has become even more of a homebody, mostly enjoying staying in and watching sports. We try to get him to go out but we don’t bother him too much, we are just extremely happy that is still alive and with us after the cancer scare. So when my mother said to him: “on Saturday we are going to eat at Casa Geraldo”, a winery and restaurant in the country side, we were all surprised, well, actually shocked, when he agreed. We were all expecting to hear all the excuses that he normally uses not to go. I was sure he was just changing his tactics and at last minute would choose to stay home. But surprise, surprise, there was no mind changing at the last minute.  We all went and had an awesome time.

Yummy food, beautiful place, great wine! Here is to people changing old habits and trying new things. Here is to open mind and open hearts! So much fun, I cannot wait to return: http://casageraldo.com.br/site/?page_id=10

Mom has come back to the US with me. She will stay for one month and drive me nuts by trying to over-feed me. Since Mom is here this will be the month of casinos, shopping, Chinese food and homemade treats!!

While in Brazil I had a minor disagreement with my sister and last night when my head hit the pillow I had a revelation. I realized that I am oftentimes (and this very evening) guilty of what I was blaming her. It is indeed true that we are normally guilty of having the very same traits that we mostly dislike on people. I am guilty of harping on a subject when nothing will be accomplished by my doing that, of not letting something go, of not letting sleeping dogs lie! I did that last night to mom and later was sorry for having acted that way. So last night in my prayers I not only thanked God for all my blessings but I asked for calm, sensibility and the ability to realize when I need to let a subject drop. And of course I asked for forgiveness.

Always when returning from a trip I come back renewed and refreshed with new ideas and the motivation to start new projects and continue old ones.  So here is to new beginnings and completion of goals. May this new motivation stay and not fall by the wayside.

“Rushing into action, you fail.
Trying to grasp things, you lose them.
Forcing a project to completion,
you ruin what was almost ripe.

Therefore the Master takes action
by letting things take their course.
He remains as calm at the end 
as at the beginning.
He has nothing,
thus has nothing to lose.
What he desires is non-desire;
what he learns is to unlearn.
He simply reminds people
of who they have always been.
He cares about nothing but the Tao.
Thus he can care for all things.” 
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

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the one instance when I am embarrassed to be Brazilian!

25 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 35 Comments

Tags

Brazil, Brazilian, consulate, passport, USA

Don’t get me wrong, I love Brazil and I love and pride myself on being this hot blooded sassy Brazilian.  But every time I go to the Brazilian Consulate in NY and see how rudely the agents there treat Americans and Brazilians alike I cringe and shrink in my seat.  The agents are short tempered and condescending.   They don’t think twice about sending you away, it doesn’t matter how many hours you have traveled to get there.

When I think of a consulate I think of an organization that was created to help citizens in foreign countries.  Unfortunately that is not what you happens when you visit the Brazilian Consulate in New York.  They go out of their way to make Brazilian’s lives difficult.  They take pleasure out of making you feel inferior.  I dare say that they resent us for leaving Brazil and choosing to live in another country.  I don’t know if that is a fact or not but it is the feeling that I get.  And I am not alone, every Brazilian that I speak to is quick to point out a problem that they have faced in dealing with the Consulate!

Last year I needed a passport in 24 hrs, and after a lot of begging they gave to me, but to penalize me, instead of renewing for 5 years they renewed it for 1 year, which meant that 6 months later I have to go through the whole process again (forms, pictures, money from the US Postal Service – they do not accept it from any place – it has to be from the Post Office)

So there I go again last week, armed with my old (well, 6 months old) passport to renew it.  I fill the application online, email to ask for appointment, I take the picture as per the specifications, I get the money order from the Post Office and on the assigned day I stand in line for over 1 hour.  When my turn comes, the woman at the window looks at my documents and makes faces at everything, she questions me on the quality of the copies of my documents, she lectures me on the need to get some of my identifications redone.  She has a smirk on her face every time she points out something I should do better or different.  I am biting my tongue and trying the nice approach first.

After she collected all the documentation she issues me a number and a receipt so that I can come in one week to get the passport.  I feel an immense relief! First time that I will get this done without numerous trips and some begging.  I am thinking to myself, once I get my passport I wont have to deal with these people for another 4 1/2 years!

3 days letter,  I get a voice mail from the consulate agent that helped (well that is really not the right word)  with my paperwork.   To summarize her message, she said that unless I present an original birth certificate they will not give me a passport!

I guess giving me a passport for the previous 30 years is not proof enough that I am Brazilian! And of course I am not going to dare ask them to give me then a Visa on my American passport instead- I made that mistake years ago an still remember the scolding I got!

After searching through my documents I find 5 different certified copies of my birth certificate, one even includes a certified English translation. I go back to the consulate and after the required waiting in line time, I talk to her and present everything I have, and promise to get another copy when I get to Brazil.

She looks at each copy and is clearly not happy with any of them, she narrows in on the fact that the letter I in my name is faded from the birth certificate being folded for many years.  She again preaches to me how I should go and get another one the first thing I do when I get to Brazil, and how easy it is – I am not going to explain to her that it is not as simple as she is describing. And she tells me to sit down and wait.  I am happy and feel that telling me to wait is because they will give me the passport.

After waiting for 30 minutes she finally calls me over and hands me the passport and asks me to sign it (I am so happy and relieved!), I ask where and she says: The same place where you signed the last one! Yes it would kill her to point out to me where to sign.  I eventually find the right line and as I am signing she says:  next time if you have all the documentation in order perhaps you will get one for 5 years!!

My face fell, my spirits sank, no they didn’t! Yes they did!! Again they gave me another passport valid for 1 year only.  So in approximate 6 months I will have to do all this all over again.  By then I will have redone all the documentation that they gave me a hard time with.  I wonder what will they find fault with next?

But to summarize, it is not even all the impossible and picky requirements, it is the holier than thou attitude, it is the condescending tone of voice, it is the unnecessary preaching and lecturing that makes you feel 2 feet tall! That is what makes me feel embarrassed every time I am in the consulate and see non-Brazilians being subjected to that!

I was once told that it is called reciprocation, that that is the same way Brazilians are treated at the American Consulate in Brazil! Tit for tat? To me that is not a good excuse.  At least no one can say they discriminate, no matter what your race is you will be treated badly!

Thank you Consulate General of Brazil in New York! You make me proud! NOT!

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