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Tag Archives: Lincoln Center

A night at the Opera

18 Sunday Feb 2018

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 35 Comments

Tags

a friendly night with an old date, dining at the diner, La Boheme, Lincoln Center, relationships and friendships, The Metropolitan House

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”  – Eleanor Roosevelt

On Friday I was so excited to go to the opera that I left work early to have plenty of time to get ready for it.  After trying many dresses I settled on a sparkly navy lace dress that hugged my figure in all the right places.  My hair was soft curls and my makeup was simple as I don’t wear much of it.  I had black patent leather pumps that were 3 inches high. I would be doing some walking so I didn’t want to have on anything higher than that.  I looked pretty amazing if I do say so myself 🙂

P. had called the day before and we had agreed to meet there.  I got to the Metropolitan Opera House at Lincoln Center at 7:15pm.  He got there at 7:30.

Since I had already made peace with his lack of interest and had by now lost total interest on him, I was indifferent about seeing him again.  The opera was what I was really excited about.

The Metropolitan Opera house is magnificent.  From the lush red carpet to the crystal chandeliers the interior of the building is absolutely gorgeous.  It is worth a visit just to see it.

When he came in I was by the entrance on the phone with my sister.  I just smiled while saying good bye to her.  We then hugged and after the hellos and how are yous we decided to head to the bar and get drinks.  We had a delicious prosecco and some fun conversation.

He had on a tuxedo with no bow tie and black patent leather shoes that matched my black patent pumps. He looked good.

I was not going to address any of what had transpired but he brought it up.  While having the drinks and also during intermission we talked about how things had fallen apart after we were getting along so well.

“Discussion is impossible with someone who claims not to seek the truth, but already to possess it.” – Romain Rolland

He said he didn’t understand why I got upset that he couldn’t come to the city to see me since he was keeping in touch by still texting daily.  He said that I reminded him of his ex-wife.  He said that he couldn’t go on with a relationship if he had the fear of being dumped when  he couldn’t come see me or do something that was expected.

I said that I don’t want a texting relationship.  At this point I know that I have zero interest in a romantic relationship with him but still for whatever reason I was hoping he would understand where I was coming from.  I hate being labeled demanding when all I wanted was to see him and was not expecting anything else other than what he had promised.

I won’t bore anyone with the details of the conversation.  The bottom line is that we have agreed to disagree.  He thought it was perfect acceptable that we were not meeting because he was still texting.  I had a problem with him no making any effort to see me.  In the end he really didn’t have a good excuse other than saying that he was busy.

He also said that I could have driven to see him.  I reminded him that I had offered to do so and he double talked and never agreed to that.  He had no answer to that.

It was actually a good conversation where we both said what we wanted to and no one was disrespectful or confrontational.  Neither one f us was trying to convince the other of anything.  I appreciated that.  Just a stating our opinions, as both of us knew it.  I still think he doesn’t get it, and perhaps he thinks I don’t get it but we made the best of it.

I don’t think there is anything worst than being told that you remind someone of their Ex. I said to him is that if someone reminded me of an Ex I would run away and so should he.

Still we had a great time, we held hands, we even flirted, but I don’t think either one of us were under the illusion that we would go back to dating.

He asked me a couple of times if I wanted to go dinner after the show.  I agreed.  I was all dressed up on a Friday in New York City and I wanted to make the most of it.

“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.” – Maya Angelou

La Boheme itself was awesome.  Even though I had an idea what the story was all about I was grateful to have the subtitles and not miss anything.  The performers were incredible.  I also loved the atmosphere and watching the fashion show, some people dressed to the nines.  Still there were a lot people dressed more casual which I think it detracts from the experience.

La Boheme is an Italian opera by Giacomo Puccini.  It is the story of a very poor poet and his seamstress lover in Paris.  The story was written by Giuseppe Giacosa and Luigi Illica based on a book by Henry Murger.

The only other opera I have seen is Madam Butterfly, also by Puccini.  I enjoyed it very much and hope to see others.

After it ended we decided to walk around and find a restaurant since the restaurants right near it would be packed.  Unfortunately we found out that the city that never sleeps does sleep.   It was now 11:40pm and most restaurants we went into were already closing. I guess only Times Square suffers from insomnia.

We went into a mall called The Shops at Columbus Circle with some very nice restaurants but all restaurants were either already closed or closing.  Our final attempt was Serafina, but again it had closed at 11:30 so we just went across the street to a diner.  I had a grilled cheese with tomato and bacon something I haven’t had in a long time and it actually tasted really great.

Again we had some light conversation, flirting, joking, talking about the opera, etc. There was nothing awkward or bad about it.  There was also no plans to ever meet again, which was perfect.

From there I just jumped in a cab to get to Grand Central Station to get in my train home.  I said thank you for the evening and said good bye with a kiss on the cheek.

I didn’t text him to say that I arrived home okay.  He didn’t ask either.  I am not sure if I will hear from him again.  I am indifferent.  I am open to friendship but will not make any effort to start and nurture one at this point.  There is still something off and that is not being revealed.

I am glad I went. I had a great evening with no awkward moments.  No regrets!  I was living in the moment and it paid off.

“Life is a balanced system of learning and evolution. Whether pleasure or pain; every situation in your life serves a purpose. It is up to us to recognize what that purpose could be.” – Steve Maraboli

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What to wear to the ballet?

30 Friday Sep 2016

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

an evening at the ballet, being grateful, developing better eating habits, getting back in shape, Lincoln Center, managing expectations, not settling for less, online dating, settling down

“You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

I am trying to get back to my routine after my brother’s visit is over.  It is fun having guests but it is hard on my eating habits and exercise routine as I tend to indulge on everything my guests do or don’t do.  After they leave it takes me awhile to get back to my normal.

As a result I have accumulated some extras pounds.  I am not a fan of diets.  I think losing weight is easy, maintaining it is the real hurdle.  Also I cannot deal with feeling deprived.  If I resolve not to eat an item, that is all I crave.

I need to return to better eating habits.  Whatever I want whenever I want is translating into excess weight.  Chocolates, bread, cookies, ice cream on a daily basis is hardly a good diet.

I cannot blame it all on guests being here for 2 weeks.  A lot of my eating habits have to do with the way I handle stress.  I run to sugar. I am a big emotional eater.  I am sad I eat, I am happy I eat!

Anyway, I am not going to spend too much time beating a dead horse.  I need to change and soon! Admitting I have a problem is the first step.  I have a problem!  But who am I kidding?  I have already admitted I have a problem a long time ago.  Now it is time for action!

Speaking of stress, it is never ending lately.  Actually problems and challenges are a necessary part of life.  I just need to get better at handling them. It is indeed not what happens to me but how I react to it.

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” -Amit Ray

Right now some of issues I am dealing with:

1. Broken car. My 29 year old car wouldn’t start. While I am at work now I have a tow truck coming to tow it to the mechanic. It feels weird letting that happen while I am not there. Remember I am a control freak.  I feel that I have a decision to make when it comes to this car.  It is a classic, but every time it needs repair it is extremely expensive since parts are not easily available.

2. Again there are issues with one of my rental apartments.  The problem now is with the cooling/heating system. There comes another repair bill.  Next year around July, when the contract with the tenant is over,  please remind me that I said I was going to sell that place.  Hit me if you have to!

3.  Meetings with immigration attorney to finalize my sister’s green card.  This process seems endless and the documentation required can be overwhelming.  There is also not so minor detail that finally after 32 years my identical twin sister and I will be dividing the same roof.   Even though we would die for each other,  if we are together for long we tend to become overcritical of each other.  That is how love is sometimes, you want the other person be the best that they can be and you think you know how that is achieved.

I do realize the blessing of problems and challenges.  They refine us, they provide us with the chance of becoming better people.  Some challenges makes us realize what is really important in life.  At the end of the day, what doesn’t kill us indeed make us stronger.

***

“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”  -Donald Miller

Now I am resuming dating.  There is someone very interested, and that right there is the problem.  I realized that the worst thing that could happen is a guy showing me too much interest.  I feel like running away, and I immediately start looking for problems and for flaws in him.

What is my problem?  Fear of commitment?  Fear of getting hurt? Fear of settling for the wrong person?  Fear of hurting someone?

Or perhaps I just like the chase.  I like the challenge.   I don’t want to settle but at which point I manage my expectations and appreciate the great men I meet?

I do fear hurting him because I don’t know what I want and he seems so sure.  I figure I will give him complete honesty and that is the best I can do.  So I am being completely honest about my feelings.

I don’t want to give out too much information about him.  He is a classical musician, in his late fifties.  Everything about him seems great.  So why am I not that excited? Why am I so cautious?

“How much I missed, simply because I was afraid of missing it.”-Paulo Coelho

In the meantime I am exchanging emails with a much younger fake guy.  I know this guy is fake.  But like some fake guys in the past, I know they are fake and I keep going, playing along. Why am I investing time and energy into this losing proposition?  Perhaps I know the answer to that…they are safe to me, they require no commitment.

So that brings me to the question that is the title to this post, what should I wear to the ballet at Lincoln Center?  If I overdress it may scream of “first timer”, if I under-dress it may seem I am not appreciating the event and location.  I think the little black dress may be the right ticket here.

and lastly a word in defense of online dating.  Yes it can be a pain, with its share of losers and players, but so is real life.  One has to be safe and take precautions before meeting anyone, but at the end of the day I grateful for its availability, as I get to meet men from all walks of life that normally I would never bump to in my day to day.

“Not knowing when the dawn will come
I open every door.”  – Emily Dickinson

 

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