“If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.” ― Letters from a Stoic
I have been in Brazil for 2 weeks now. Life continues to be too busy, but it gets busier in Brazil. I am hoping for an easy routine. I am tired of work and family pressures. Don’t get me wrong, I feel incredibly blessed to have both: work and family. And I am sure I will find myself missing this craziness some time in the future – or maybe not!
I feel I have worked enough. I dream of retirement and of my time being my own to do whatever my heart desires.
I haven’t been able to establish a good exercise routine since May, and because of that my body has suffered. I have a debilitating pain that starts on the neck and travels down my arm. And lets not forget the hip and back pain, that was kept at bay with stretching and exercise.
On Monday I had 3 MRIs done: neck, lower back and hip. The results will be ready later today.
My doctor asked: “You don’t smoke, do you?” I said: I don’t. He said: “If you smoked you wouldn’t have this pain that you have. Smokers take breaks often to smoke. Clearly you sit at the computer too many hours straight.” He added: “If you smoked, you would be at risk for lung cancer among other things, but you wouldn’t have this pain.” He likes to joke, but he is right. I don’t take enough breaks during my word day.
In the meantime, while Michael went to Florianopolis with my brother, I was left home to take care of mom, work and herd cats. Herding cats literally!
Florianopolis is a city with tons of gorgeous beaches. Michael wanted to surf, but all he got was rain and cold. It is off season. But he saw another area of Brazil and fell in love with it. Every time he goes to a new place, he says: we should live here!
Now, back to the cats. We have 3 cats that we inherited from a neighbor that moved. They sleep the whole day, and at night they go out and it is a nightmare to try to coax them back in. When I finally get them inside they fight with each other and cry to go out. This is throughout the night. I would just put them out, but mom is afraid they will get hurt. I am not sure what happens when my brother is here. Perhaps they are just missing him. It has been a nightmare.
BUT, I do realize that I am in control of my emotions and responses and nothing else. Life is not perfect. If life is not fun and games, then it is a lesson. I thought I was done learning, but we are never done.
I am now trying to make peace with the it all, good and bad. I am working on being less critical of others and myself. I am an Aries, and everything that comes to mind I say it. I am learning that not everything needs to be said. Not everyone wants to hear my thoughts on how to improve something. Who do I think I am?
Sending blessings and my love to all, and leaving you with some pictures of the adorable creatures that are driving me crazy (Nala, Luke and Ze Jorge) … a neighbor’s dog (Chico) for good measure.
“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” ― Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience