Monthly Archives: January 2024

Feeling lazy today…

30 Tuesday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“Laziness is not particularly terrible or wonderful. Rather it has a basic living quality that deserves to be experienced just as it is. Perhaps we’ll find an irritating, pulsating quality in laziness. We might feel it as dull and heavy or as vulnerable and raw. Whatever we discover, as we explore it further, we find nothing to hold on to, nothing solid, only groundless, wakeful energy.

This process of experiencing laziness directly and nonverbally is transformative. It unlocks a tremendous energy that is usually blocked by our habit of running away. This is because when we stop resisting laziness, our identity as the one who is lazy begins to fall apart completely. Without the blinders of ego, we connect with a fresh outlook, a greater vision. This is how laziness—or any other demon—introduces us to the compassionate life.”

― Pema Chödrön

Having my cake and eating it too!

30 Tuesday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Food

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“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” -― Charles M. Schulz

The baking continues… Yesterday I made a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting.  All from scratch.  All delicious. 

But… not perfect.  I search for a taste of the cakes of my childhood.  Maybe the next one.

“If you can’t eat chocolate cake for breakfast, what is the point of being alive?” ― Alice Hoffman, The Book of Magic

“Without pain, how could we know joy?’ This is an old argument in the field of thinking about suffering and its stupidity and lack of sophistication could be plumbed for centuries but suffice it to say that the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.” ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

Welcome Pain! My door is open!

28 Sunday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, EX Files, Finding Me

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THIS WAS WRITTEN IN APRIL 2012.  I AM CLEANING OUT MY DRAFTS FOLDER AND EITHER PUBLISING OR DELETING SOME POSTS. Please forgive typos.

I DECIDED TO PUBLISH THIS ONE,  EVEN THOUGH IT WAS WRITTEN LONG AGO. IT WAS FROM A TIME THAT I WAS IN A LOT PAIN, STILL FROM THE BREAK UP.  I HAVE LEARNED A LOT SINCE THEN, AND I STILL BELIEVE IN APPROACHING PROBLEMS AS LESSONS AND OPPORTUNITIES. Please forgive typos.

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”― Rumi

If pain is growth, if pain is where the light comes in, as Rumi says.  Then, by all means, pain come in.  You and all your friends: dramas, headaches, problems, etc

Come in, all at once, if you can.  I want to grow a lot, and fast.

When you look at a problem, not as a problem, but as a lesson or a challenge, it is no longer a problem.  From that moment on, it becomes an opportunity.  Immediately, right from the start, the problem doesn’t own you, you own the problem.  You are in control and at the driver’s seat.

I am learning to look at a situation from different points of view, but never as a victim. I choose to be a student ready to learn some specific lesson.  How wonderful that I have been chosen to learn this lesson.

My only job here is to learn it.  I am learning how to step back and access the situation, analyze it, inspect it and then choose how to handle it. Do I need to attack it or just let it be, and let nature take its course.

I no longer have to attack every situation head on.  The Aries in me is learning to stop and let things happen.  Let nature take its course knowing that the best outcome will be mine if I don’t react, but deal with things with a level head and peaceful heart.

It is not easy not to react, and because it is not easy, it makes it even more rewarding.  I already knew in  my heart that no matter what comes my way, I will always be okay.  The more I learn the lessons, the more life gets better and better.  I no longer think I am going to be okay, I know, in fact, that I am going to be more amazing and more blessed each day.

I now look forward to going to bed because I can’t wait for my tomorrow to start.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” – Rumi

The baking continues

27 Saturday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Food

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Irish soda bread

Irish soda bread

My love affair with my bread machine and making breads and cakes continues.

I have been making mostly whole wheat breads.  The one with honey and molasses is my favorite.

White bread and Irish soda bread

White bread and Irish soda bread

I made the above white loaf on the bread machine.  The Irish soda bread I made in the oven, as it doesn’t involve any kneading or rising.

They both came out great.  The white bread is simple and great for sandwiches.

The soda bread came out great, but still I think I will add some more sweetness to the it. 

There is a soda bread that I love, from a bakery that is over 1 hour away from my home. So I am not able to buy it as often as I would like.  I search for that taste.  It is probably not the original soda bread, but I want to get as close to that taste as I can.

Pound cake

Pound cake

The above is a pound cake I made in the bread machine.  Even though it doesn’t look all that, it is delicious.  Because I cannot follow any recipe and I always have to add my own twist, I added a couple of drops of vanilla extract and a couple of teaspoons of chocolate.  That is why it came out with that color.

I plan on doing this same recipe again and probably adding a drop of coconut or almond extract, or more chocolate.

Tomorrow I plan on making a chocolate cake and frosting, not in the bread machine.  Stay tuned for the pictures.

It is time to take a look at your financial situation – written in 2012

25 Thursday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN JULY 2012. I AM NOT SURE WHY I DIDN’T CLEAN IT UP AND PUBLISH IT BEFORE.  I GUESS, MONEY IS SOMETIMES MORE TABOO THAN SEX. 

EVEN THOUGH IT IS VERY OLD, I DECIDED TO PUBLISH IT, AS IT COULD BE A REMINDER TO EVERYONE TO LOOK AT THEIR FINANCES.

Last week I took 2 big financial hits! It blindsided me, but it shouldn’t have since I am used to paying those 2 large bills every year.  Buying an apartment, moving, and embarking on a personal growth path, and also starting this blog has kept me busy and too distracted to remember little details such as IRS and Brazil.

BUT, last week, all of a sudden I was forced to wake up and smell the Brazilian coffee.

When I took a look at my bank account and realized there were 2 large bills that needed to still come out,  I got this tight feeling in the pit of my stomach.  There was terror for a second, but then as with everything that goes wrong in my life, I snapped out of it, rolled up my sleeves and went to work on damage control.

I haven’t gotten a raise in over 5 years.  No, I cannot ask the boss for one. First I am a partner, so I am one of the bosses, and second, I am the one that handles the books so I know we cannot afford to give me a raise.  I am lucky to have a job and to be allowed to keep my assistant, and not have to do all myself.

Still, even with not getting a raise in 5 years, I have been enjoying a great life. With manageable debt I must add.  I don’t live paycheck to paycheck, and I was never in danger of losing my apartment.

These 2 bills, on top of all others, will not wipe me out but will give me less wiggle room. I believe that these 2 bills are warning signs that I should pay a closer look to my finances.

I am going to have to make hard choices.  Having money gives one plenty of choices.   Lack of money gives one less choices. but still we are the masters of our destiny.  I am going to have to choose where to spend my money.  I am going to have to look at Need versus Want.

I agree with Benjamin Frankly, a penny saved is a penny earned.  So, since I cannot make any more money, I will try spending less and saving more, no matter how little.

What a great chance to stop and take stock of life, financial and otherwise.  I have been going for personal growth, physically and spiritually.  I have been neglecting the financial part.

The good, or bad,  thing is that I am already a frugal person. So there is not a lot to save on, there is not a lot to trim.  I don’t like waste and excess.

I have decided to collect memories and not material stuff. Still, I do have more material stuff than I need.

So here we go, to trim bills and live light!

Update: Now in January 2024, I still get surprised by my IRS bills, but I am happy to report that I buy less and less. Material stuff never made me feel happy.  I spend on what brings me joy: vacations and treating my family.

Fully embracing possibilities… Fully embracing you…

23 Tuesday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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As I continue to clean up my Drafts Folder, I have to make a decision: delete or publish. This one I am publishing, just because I don’t want to delete it, and I don’t want to just let it sit there.

PLEASE NOTE: This was written in July 3rd, 2012.  It was the first year of this blog.  I was still struggling with the break up that made me start this blog, but I was hopeful.  I am not doing any editing, just publishing as is.

This one I wrote around

Please forgive this old foolish heart

I am not 15 I just play the part

My head spins and my body is in a rush

so don’t mind the writings of a teenager and her first crush

Bloated, sugar crazy, cry baby, PMS raging in full bloom

In the TV Wimbledon in on, Sharapova grunts fill the room

I hear your voice; it calms the fire breathing dragon within me

It waltzes through my ears, dances into my heart – I smile with glee

I float in the air of possibilities; you bring me back with your concerns

I think of sweet soft kisses, you remember the painful burns

I am in love with falling in love, that intoxicating and blinding feeling

You fear I am on the rebound; you don’t want to be left reeling

Can’t make promises, can’t read the future, can only give you now

I will communicate, love and respect.  Honesty is my vow

Your heart and body says yes, your head wants to ban

I mention killing this eternal curiosity and we start to plan

The clock says 12:30 and I am still Cinderella

I want so much to take the next Acella

We are blessed to be able to dream and plan, 2 kids in a candy store

When? Where? Here or there? I just want to see you walk through the door

On the TV there is a Russian or perhaps a German playing  yet another game

My mind swirls with delight as I picture your mouth as it says my name

I have to get up, brush my teeth, take a shower and get ready to bed

But how can I act so normal with all the is going on in my head?

I wake up with a smile on my face

Feeling like a runner on his best race

My jaw hurts, was I smiling the whole night?

Dreaming of you my white knight?

The spinach is slow dancing with the egg in the pan

Is my breakfast aware of my plan?

The super says how are you and I want to spill the beans

I am happy, blessed in love, I can’t help it is in my genes

Grand Central is specially crowded on this day before a holiday

I go deliberately slow, my mind still thinking of yesterday

Young and old carrying bags, some going, some coming back

I am basking in the knowledge that you decided to give it a crack

I cross 39th Street smiling, people must think I am a looney

I look around and wonder why is everyone so gloomy

You are going all out, daring to dream, willing to risk, I like you taking a stand

I tremble when I think about the first time; the first time you hold my hand

So here I am on 34th, work beckons, no work actually screams

I will whistle while I work, so happy that I am bursting at the seams

I want to be your cutie, your babe, the one that makes you scream

You will be my lover and friend and the one that makes me dream

Fun Saturday in New Smyrna

22 Monday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Food

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On Saturday morning, I went for a bike ride around the neighborhood. Then we drove to the beach and walked around for a little.  It was too cold and windy to stay too long.

In the afternoon, I took a dip in the freezing pool of the complex.  They are having issues heating it, but I believed that the cold water would be good for my sore knee. 

For dinner we went to Spanish River Tapas and Wine.  It was good, but I was a bit disappointed that the menu was completely different than what I had seen online. I had in my mind what to order, but there was none of it in the menu.  So I just chose a few things. 

We had feta cheese with honey and pita, a grilled mushroom dish, patatas bravas – spicy potatoes, and fish skewers.  For dessert we had Olive oil cake and cheesecake. The food was good and the service very attentive.  We will probably go back.

Here are some pictures from my Saturday:

New Smyrna Beach Park

Smyrna Dunes Park

 

Mushroom, feta and tortilla

Mushroom, feta and tortilla

Brulee cheesecake and Olive oil cake

Brulee cheesecake and Olive oil cake

2023 in Mosaics

19 Friday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Mosaic and other crafts

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In 2023, I didn’t go to the mosaic studio as much as I did in 2022.  Therefore, I didn’t make as many pieces as in 2022.  I also lacked inspiration and motivation. I am happy that I completed every piece and didn’t abandon them, just because it didn’t go as planned.

I promise, they all look much better in person.

Here is all I did.  Some I may have posted before.

I did this one for my sister when she became a US citizen. It is meant to be funny and not a real likeness.

I did this one for my sister when she became a US citizen. It is meant to be funny and not a real likeness.

A star, not as intended, but still a happy star

A star, not as intended, but still a happy star

Either a chicken or a rooster, but a very colorful and happy fowl

Either a chicken or a rooster, but a very colorful and happy fowl

Fashionable dog. This one was done at home, with whatever materials I had.

Fashionable dog. This one was done at home, with whatever materials I had. After this picture I grouted and then applied resin to it.

A peaceful flowery cow

A peaceful flowery cow

A mirror in various shades of blue

A mirror in various shades of blue

A mosaic vase made to look like stained glass

A mosaic vase made to look like stained glass

A cigar box turned into a jewelry box. My sister loved it so much, that I gave it to her.

A cigar box turned into a jewelry box. My sister loved it so much, that I gave it to her.

Another attempt of making a little dog.

Another attempt of making a little dog.

Tray or hanging fixture. I almost didn't post this, as it is not like I intended at all. But I am happy I finished it.

Tray or hanging fixture. I almost didn’t post this, as it is not like I intended at all. But I am happy I finished it.

I don't have a photo of this one finished, as it is in NY. It is missing the grout on this one. This one I made for Michael. The first couple of times we went to the beach here we go we got ice-creams from the truck that drives up and down the beach.

I don’t have a photo of this one finished, as it is in NY. It is missing the grout on this one. This one I made for Michael. The first couple of times we went to the beach here we go we got ice-creams from the truck that drives up and down the beach.

Just like riding a bike

18 Thursday Jan 2024

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Michael gave me a bike.  We went to Walmart on Monday and I chose one that I thought would be perfect.  I didn’t want anything too expensive, as I didn’t know if I would actually use it.  We can always upgrade it later.

The last time I was on a bike was over 35 years ago.  I remember driving around New Rochelle, and at one point a man sticks his head out of his car window and yells: “Lady, you are going to kill yourself”.

To this day I don’t know what I did wrong.  Perhaps I was driving on the wrong side of the road.  What I know is that. I don’t remember ever riding a bike after that.

We got the bike home and after a few iffy moments, I was able to balance myself and actually ride it.

I rode a few minutes yesterday, and a few more today.  I am taking it very slow, as I have tendency to over do it.  My butt already hurts, even though we swapped the hard seat that the bike comes with, with a much softer one.

I struggle with the gears.  I have no idea when to use them.  I guess it will come.  I hope to ride a little each day and hopefully explore trails with Michael.

My black and blue beauty

My black and blue beauty

Happily learning to use my bread maker

14 Sunday Jan 2024

Posted by in Daily Life, Food

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“Good bread is the most fundamentally satisfying of all foods; and good bread with fresh butter, the greatest of feasts.” ― James Beard

One of my Christmas gifts, from my sister, was a bread maker.  I had mentioned wanting to buy one for the longest time, but never did. I was not sure I would really use it. 

I have been using it non-stop.  As soon as we got to Florida, Michael ordered one for the house.  He also got an air-fryer and toaster-over, two other appliances that I love.

In NY I made a whole wheat bread with molasses and honey, and also a chocolate cake.  I made the whole wheat bread 3 times.  It is so good. 

The chocolate cake was good, but I think I like better in the over and I can make a larger one.  I filled the cake with 2 different fillings, one with coconut cream, and the other chocolate fudge cream.  I frosted with chocolate ganache. All the chocolate made from scratch. So delicious!

Here in Florida, I made a 100% whole wheat bread.  This one had only whole wheat flour and honey.  It didn’t contain white flour, molasses and the hint of chocolate, like the one in NY.  Michael liked this one even better.

This morning I made a Rye bread, Michael’s favorite bread. I don’t care for rye bread and specially caraway seeds, so I used only one teaspoon of it, instead of two.  Next time I will use two.

Next I will make a white loaf. I also want to try Irish soda bread.

“All sorrows are less with bread. ”
― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Here are are some pictures:

First Bread made: Whole Wheat with molasses and honey

First Bread made: Whole Wheat with molasses and honey

Chocolate cake with coconut and chocolate

Chocolate cake with coconut and chocolate

100% whole wheat bread (ps. the whipped cream can is for my coffee)

100% whole wheat bread (ps. the whipped cream can is for my coffee)

Rye bread

Rye bread

Rye bread with some caraway seeds

Rye bread with some caraway seeds

Sunday breakfast

Sunday breakfast