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Daily Archives: October 27, 2021

Dates updates: Easy does it

27 Wednesday Oct 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 19 Comments

“Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

There is not a lot to update you guys on.  Of the 3 guys that I was set to meet, D. is the only one that I was really excited about meeting and the only one I met so far.   

One of the guys canceled on me once, then I had to cancel on him.  We will eventually meet.  I am just not sure he is ready to date.  He is not yet fully divorced.  He has 3 little kids under the age of 5.  He seems to have a lot on his plate.  He does seem very nice and with an interesting background. I am willing to meet as friends.

The other one, we keep having scheduling conflicts. My heart is not really into it to make more of an effort.  I think his heart is not into it either. So we message every now and then, and is feeling more and more like a friendship.  I think we will become friends, and meet one of these days.

“So we won’t take ourselves too seriously. Because taking something serious doesn’t make it go away any faster. In fact, it keeps making it a little bit worse.” ― Ram Dass, Experiments in Truth

As far as D, we went on a second date on Saturday night.  We went to a small brewery called Diner Brew Co. near my apartment. We met late as he is committed to working late Saturdays for the next few months. 

I had a couple of rose wines and he had a couple beers. I was not hungry, as I had had dinner, but towards the end of the date I saw the free popcorn, and couldn’t stop eating it.  

Similar to the first date we had a great time. It was easy, fun, nothing bad or awkward about it.  Again it was all about enjoying ourselves.  We  laughed and joked the whole time.  We found out a little more about each other, but not too much.

I am really holding back on all the questioning and also volunteering of information.  We have time.  I don’t need to know everything about him right now, and he doesn’t need to know everything about me right now.  

I am not exactly sure why I am choosing to go about it this way.  I think that I normally ask many questions to try to find reasons to run.  

“And somebody might now want to ask me, “Can’t you ever be serious?” The answer is, “No.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Armageddon in Retrospect: And Other New and Unpublished Writings on War and Peace

I don’t want the heaviness and burden that I feel when I know everything about someone.  It is as if I need to make a decision right away if he belongs in my future or not.  At this point I don’t feel like making final decisions.  

After leaving the brewery,  he walked me to my door.  There was some kissing goodbye, but nothing too much or embarrassing.

Since the second date we have either texted or talked most days.  I am not sure we will see each other this week, but I am sure we will see each other again.

I like this idea of going slow, and not have to talk/text every day and see each other often.  I like the slow and steady route, instead of crash and burn alternative. 🙂

“I like to prowl ordinary places.
I feel sorry for us all or glad for us
all
caught alive together
and awkward in that way.

there’s nothing better than the joke
of us
the seriousness of us
the dullness of us”
― Charles Bukowski, Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit

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