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Sister: Things continue to be a tad crazy for me, with lots to do at work and adjusting to having my sister at home with me. I was unsettled having to live with my sister after 33 years living apart, but we are doing fine and becoming closer than ever.  I can’t wait to see what the future holds for her here in the USA.

The widower from previous posts: He disappeared. He mentioned being busy getting ready to send his daughter to camp in July, but I never heard from him again since a last text I sent on June 11.

He is still mourning his wife and not ready to move on. Perhaps the reason he disappeared was that he met someone else. I just wish people would be honest and just say something and not disappear.

The classic car: When the ex and I broke up (over 5 years ago) he gave me his 1987 560SL car since I had sold mine to move in with him. 

Now that I bought a new car I decided to sell that car even though I really loved it and wish I could keep it.  It is just not practical to pay storage fees and insurance on car I never use.

Yesterday I got an email from the ex. He must have heard from his mother that I am selling it and he asked to buy it back. At first I thought about ignoring it. Then I just replied: Make me an offer. It seemed fitting that it should go back to the original owner.

He replied with a stupid offer of $5,000.00. According to my mechanic the car is worth from $15,000 to 18,000.00. I would be okay with $10,000, which would cover all the repairs I had to make on the car. Even more infuriating than the low offer was the email. He went on and on about the fact that he gave me the car, making it seem he gave it to me out of the goodness of his heart when the truth is he just wanted me out of his life and would have done anything. And perhaps out of guilt for having cheated on me. He also mentioned that my life continued to be successful while his are in shambles. To tell him that one reaps what one sows would be stating the obvious.

I didn’t reply yet. My Mom and my sister both agreed that I should just give the car back and get rid of him and anything of his for good.  After I got over the anger I am actually leaning towards their suggestion.

Is it or isn’t it:  Sometimes there are major shifts in life and it seems my life is going through a major shift. I feel so much goodness in the air.  It seems like a time to get rid of the old, old clothes, old ideas, old energy and embrace the new.

At this exact moment in time someone came into my life that seems too perfect to be true. I am so excited that it is hard for me to keep level headed. I try to remind myself  that I have been excited over what turned out to be nothing in the past, but this seems so different, so right.  So, once again, here am I daring to believe, daring to dream.

My next post will be about him so stay tuned.

He sent me this poem by Goethe that I just love!

“Tell a wise person, or else keep silent,
because the mass man will mock it right away.
I praise what is truly alive,
what longs to be burned to death.

In the calm water of the love-nights,
where you were begotten, where you have begotten,
a strange feeling comes over you,
when you see the silent candle burning.

Now you are no longer caught
in the obsession with darkness,
and a desire for higher love-making
sweeps you upward.

Distance does not make you falter.
Now, arriving in magic, flying,
and finally, insane for the light,
you are the butterfly and you are gone.

And so long as you haven’t experienced 
this: to die and so to grow,
you are only a troubled guest
on the dark earth.”  – Johann Woldgang von Goethe

 

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