competing with a ghost, dating a widower, just believe it, rose-colored glasses, seeing the best in everything, There is a plan, to date or not to date, trying to be understanding, when being positive is bad
My sister arrived at the end of May with my best friend from High School. My friend will stay until the end of June and my sister will live here. So far things have been busy with shopping and sightseeing. Once my friend leaves then we will probably settle into some sort of routine. All is up in the air until she gets a job.
I am trying to adjust to this new normal. It is hard to go from living alone to living with your sister. It requires patience on both sides. We are, of course, both Aries, which makes this relationship even trickier. But love wins and we have plenty of that for each other.
Another day, another mouse. Yeah I had a dead one in the trap right near my desk…way too close for comfort. There is actually a gentleman here that gets them for me now, he comes in later so the mouse has to sit and wait for him. I don’t know what I will do if he takes a day off lol
At least I am finding humor in the situation.
Work has been tough lately. At times it feels that 17 years in the same job is long enough. At others I feel blessed I am employed. I guess there is no perfect job, but I am telling the Universe that I am ready for a change, for a challenge.
Since I have been very busy this year with guests at my home I barely had any time for dating, and even blogging.
The beer loving guy (from a couple of posts ago) asked me out on a third date and I actually had said yes. But the evening before we were scheduled to meet my mother was not well and I mentioned to him that I didn’t know if I would be able to meet. That evening we exchanged several texts as I was nervous about making sure my mom was okay and was glad to have someone outside of the situation to talk to. Much later that evening I wrote several texts and he never replied again and next day never inquired about my Mom or if I would be able to meet, so I just let that go. I already knew that going on a third date would have been a mistake.
I met a widower. He will be 60 this year which seems very old for me since I seem to have more chemistry with younger guys, but since he was local I decided to meet him. I was surprised to find myself thinking about him even now after a few dates. We both seem excited about each other but then there is all the miscommunication we normally have in person and on text. It seems I always say something that he deems too serious or too deep.
I think he finds me preachy when I start spewing my optimism around. He tells me that I should stop having these serious conversation and we should just have fun. It has been over 2 years since his wife passed. I don’t think there is a deadline for the person to stop grieving but I know it will be hard to date someone still stuck there.
For a few years right after my break up I was still mourning the end of the relationship and that doesn’t even compare with the death of a spouse. So I sympathize and understand.
While I agree that we should just have light-hearted dates and conversation I wonder if I am capable of doing that. I am growing increasingly tired of him always telling me I am too serious or too deep when all I am doing is replying to his comments in the way that I feel. He says I should say exactly how I feel, but when I do I am too deep.
After yet again being told I was taking things too serious the other day and not speaking/texting the last couple of days I reached out today to say hello. Soon the conversation went south.
He has a teenage daughter and he mentioned that his goal was to dance at her wedding and then he was ready to go. I clarified what he meant by ready to go and indeed it was what I though, he would be ready to die.
I said that he was too young for that kind of talk and that we needed to get him more goals. I mentioned how 60 is the new 50 or even 40 and I said that I needed goals too.
I said that I used to pressure myself to have goals and go after them but that lately I decided not put any pressure on myself and just have faith in God’s timing and guidance. I also mentioned that until we have better goals we should have fun chasing weird ones, such as which restaurant has the best wine list (he enjoy wine).
I guess the word “God” may have been too much for him, as his reply was, and I quote: “Too deep. Let’s talk about it another time.” To which I just replied: “ok sorry” and he said: “No problem. Actually in a good mood today.”
Even though he seems like a great guy, I don’t think I can put up with not saying what I think and not trying to get somebody to stop only seeing gloom and doom. I find my honesty, clarity, positivism, optimism and upbeat attitude some of the best parts of me, and don’t want to bury them down.
He feels betrayed by God, and I am of the belief of never blaming God as there is always a plan.
I am not taking the first step in contacting him again and perhaps pushing for something he is not ready for. So we shall see if this story ends here or if there will be more chapters.
“The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
The deeper the grief, the closer is God!” Do― Dostoevsky