Tags
Brazilian, Dating, family, intimacy, men, one night stand, relationships, sex
“Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
― Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol and Other Christmas Writings
Life has been BBB – Busy, Beautiful and ever so Blessed!
DAD – My dad has been home after 2 weeks in the hospital. The doctors said that it would take 6 months for him to fully recover, but I am happy to say that my dad is recuperating at an incredible speed! The doctors are amazed! I am relieved and happy!
TRIP TO BRAZIL – I am going home to see my family!! yippie!! Yesterday was a bit crazy at work so it was hard to concentrate on the trip details but by the end of the day I had settled on a date and reserved the tickets but decided to sleep on it and make a final decision today. So today when I went to make the purchase I realized that the date I had chosen was September 11. I am shocked that the significance of that date had not hit me yesterday. I am not sure how I feel about flying on September 11.
Well, Just now I finalized the purchase. September 12 it is! So I guess now we all know how I feel about flying on 9/11.
HIP – My hip is acting up again. It started when I tried taking tennis lessons again. Right now I am doing the Brazilian way; I am ignoring it and hoping that it goes away by itself. But seriously, I will need to go back to physical therapy, but I will deal with that when I return from my trip. I may be hanging my tennis racket for good. But not my skis, never!!
WORK – Busy, busy, busy! Enough said!
DATING – Dating has been an adventure. The best part of it all is how I have been handling it. I have been laughing at the bad experiences and cherishing the good ones. I have made new friends. This has been such an amazing learning and growing time. This whole experience is showing me more and more what I need, want and deserve. I am not willing to settle. I am fine with compromise but I am not willing to put up with less than what I am willing to give in return.
“Some people come in our life as blessings. Some come in your life as lessons.”
― Mother Teresa
I am still amazed at the attitude and behavior of some men, well some people really. They are so short sighted, looking for immediate gratification and not long lasting happiness.
The other evening I had a great date. It was the first time in a long time where there were sparks! He seemed great, smart, professional, a great kisser (yep we kissed on the first date), and good looking. I normally never fall for looks, but this person seemed to have it all. I saw the potential and didn’t hide it.
As expected he contacted me right away after the date saying he had a great time. Next day he starts texting me and instead of asking me out on a proper date he hints he wants to come over to my apartment and “snuggle”. When I mentioned that he was going too fast he tried to make me feel bad and childish. He mentioned we would just snuggle. I felt like asking him: How old are you? 15? Do you think I am going to fall for that?
“sex is the consolation you have when you can’t have love”
― Gabriel García Márquez
For a moment I felt as if there was something wrong with me and perhaps I was being too immature and too suspicious. I also felt that perhaps I shouldn’t have kissed him on the first date and let him know that I liked him. I am glad to say that those feelings lasted for about a second. I realized he was just trying to go for a quick shag and was not relationship minded.
I often say that I never blame a man for trying, so I still don’t blame him but he was just dumb. He knew I liked him and we could have had a fun relationship, yet his rush to get physically intimate made him lose out on the long run. Now we will never know what the future could have look like.
“But when a woman decides to sleep with a man, there is no wall she will not scale, no fortress she will not destroy, no moral consideration she will not ignore at its very root: there is no God worth worrying about.”
― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
Of course when I set him straight he started backpedaling and telling me I misunderstood him, but by then the damage was already done. I have said no to seeing him again. (true story, he just called now and wants to take me out to dinner tonight. answer is still no) He did me a favor by showing me his intentions right away. Also this was a good test to see how much I liked him, and I certainly didn’t like him enough.
Don’t get me wrong, I like snuggling, affection, intimacy, sex, as much as the next person. Well, I am a healthy, young, vibrant Brazilian woman who hasn’t gotten any in a long time, so perhaps I like it a little more than most right now 🙂 but I am not willing to forget my morals and what I want for my life. I got to be able to look in the mirror in the morning and respect the face I see looking back at me.
I am not judging anyone that has one night stands or casual relationships. I kind of envy people that can be that free with their bodies and themselves. But I know I can’t! And you know what? I think I am proud of that! 🙂
often if you go physical too soon, you never develop the deep emotional friendship needed for a long term relationship. Plus you miss out on the anticipation.
safe travels 🙂
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Totally agree! The fun part is the anticipation, the potential, the flirting, the discovery! I never understood the need to rush it!
Blessings! 🙂
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wow thats so very kewl …lucky lady to get to go to brazul 🙂 yeeehaaa 🙂 fly safe 🙂
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Love it!!
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Thank you! 🙂
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It can be so hard to find a guy who doesn’t want to rush things anymore. Keep praying and stay positive. He will turn up when he’s good and ready.
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Thank you! “Keep praying and staying positive” is a really great advice! These are two things that keep me together at all times. I do have faith and patience to wait for the right person. Many blessings to you! 🙂
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I could never have casual relationships. I had many female friends who were just that – friends. Whenever I was intimate, it was during the course of a relationship, as part of a relationship. What you say is true – we have to look in the mirror and respect the person gazing back at us. 🙂
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I agree! I don’t get the 1 night relationship and the casual relationship. To me that would be empty and unfulfilling. So I will continue my search for the one worth more than 1 night,
Blessings! 🙂
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I really enjoyed reading your post. Your quotes were inspiring and your dating story, although a bit sad, showed really your integrity. I bet the guy really regrets his behavior. Have a great weekend and better luck on your next date. 🙂
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Hi Carol
Fortunately for me I am able to see the comedy in my dating mishaps!
He regretted and he made up for it (I will write about it next).
Thank you for the good wishes and all the best to you too! Blessings! 🙂
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Brazil – how exciting! thanks for sharing your days!
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Indeed! Thank you for reading about my days! Blessings! 🙂
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Nicely said. Bummer about your hip. I know what its like when one of the interconnected members isn’t feeling so good.
I also don’t get casual sex. Certain part doesn’t care at all, so I’m fairly convinced the neurological underpinnings are to the oldest part of the brain.However, people do it, and survive, but I am not certain if at my age I even want to go there. Seems like too much work for so little return.
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Thank you for the sympathy towards my hip…the joys of aging 🙂
I agree with you. I never slept around in my young age, so I don’t think I want to start now.
hahaha totally agree it does seem like too much work (in more ways than one) for so really reward! 🙂
Blessings! 🙂
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As someone who is perfectly capable of purely-physical relationships, I applaud you knowing and committing to not wanting one. We ALLLLLL know ‘that girl’ who thinks, “Sure, he wants sex right off the bat, but I’m sure if I sleep with him long enough, he’ll want to settle down with me.” And then is perpetually heartbroken when he goes silent, or texts that he’s started seeing someone.
(Also, I’ve flown on 9/11 twice. It’s actually pretty nice…our plane was probably only half full. YAY for room to sleep stretched out across all 3 seats!!)
Happy Travels!!
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I wish I could be that free my body, well, perhaps I should say I wish I was that free with my mind. In a way, I think I am protecting my heart as I know that if I were to sleep with someone I would become immediately emotionally attached to them, and as you mentioned, heartbreak would certainly ensue. I am also scared of the person turning into a psycho (I do watch too much crime TV), so I rather know the person a little more and improve my chances of him being normal 🙂
That is a great reason to fly on 9/11, as it is all flights to Brazil have been so crowded so the thought of a little extra room is very appealing. Now my flight will be completely packed with the people avoiding 9/11 :-(. If I had not thought about it I would have flown that day, but because it was on my mind I chose to avoid it.
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The man should just accept you as you are and go with that.. only then he is worth going out with. Just never forget…. men are men… they can’t help it… hehe. One day your prince will come and sweep you off your feet. I never thought it possible but mine did…. and I am still on cloud 29…. not coming back down. 🙂
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That is exactly what I believe. Most men can’t help themselves so it is up to me to assert myself. He did redeem himself (I am writing about it in next post).
So so happy about you! I better be invited to the wedding!! 🙂
You deserving all that happiness and more! Many blessings! 🙂
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haha… no wedding thoughts, happily living in bliss and in the moment! 🙂
Thank you!
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That is how it should be!! (but I still want to eat cake!! lol)
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Sorry to hear about the hip. Ice it! 20 min on and 20 min off. With regard to the date, if he had backed off immediately, maybe you could chalk it up to misunderstanding based on the first date. But he waffled and came back at you – not a good sign! Hold on for someone better!
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Thank you! Ice is a good thing I just need to be more diligent with it!
I will be posting about that guy as I did go on a second date and actually turned out well, but the jury is still out if this will turn into a relationship or not.
I am keeping my options open!
Many blessings! 🙂
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Use the ice for only a day or so, then heat! The ice gets any swelling down and then the heat helps promote healing.
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Reblogged this on The Kiss Case and commented:
🙂
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I am glad you are finding out more about yourself through dates. Although I love my single life, I have been on a few dates. It’s worth a laugh if nothing else! On a serious note, it can be upsetting if you like them more than they like you or if they want sex. I always attract the sex mad types and I don’t like it! Relief – I’m single. I never used to try dating, but it is an experience, and it helps me to learn more about what I do and don’t like. I do like kissing so I can really relate to what you are saying.
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Dating has certainly been a big learning experience. I cannot decide if my dating life is a tragedy or a comedy, I guess it is a combination of both.
Why can’t dates be happy with just kissing? Why the need to hurry to go past that? Oh well… It is up to me to put on the brakes.
Blessings! 🙂
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They don’t get any more out of me. I think they are lucky if they get a kiss. Our lips are a precious part of our body after all.
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I couldn’t agree more!!! They are really lucky if they get my lips! 🙂
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