This has been a surprisingly difficult post to write. Turning 48 it is not all about cake and candles, it is all about being near 50. Having another birthday shouldn’t be a big deal for ‘positive’ me, but yet I am facing a multitude of feelings and not all of them are good.
All of a sudden there is this looming sense of dread, finality and mortality. What have I done with all prior years? I have this fear of life escaping between my fingers while I daydream about it. I fear wasting talent and good healthy years.
“The day you lose your sense of wonder is the day you grow old.”
― Marty Rubin
My mother is turning 79 in a couple of months and, even though she is a dynamo, is amazingly sharp and in great shape, I see the years in her. And I see myself in her. When did she get old?
This post was totally different and way too long and contemplative of the past that I cannot change. I have made mistakes, took turns when I should have gone straight, jumped head first when I should have tiptoed in, but still there is a sense of pride in doing life as I want and not as others expect. There is beauty in following my heart! I will relish on that!
“Youth is wasted on the young.”― Oscar Wilde
So good bye long post, the whole message in this post is only 2 lines. It is dedicated to my twin sister (who has been in the receiving end of a lot of criticism lately). No long lists that I never look back at. Just 2 lines that will improve my life and my years.
- More water, sleep and exercise. Less mindless eating.
- More patience and listening. Less reaction and criticism.
“The day you lose your sense of wonder is the day you grow old.” ― Marty Rubin
I will make myself accountable by being in the moment and keeping close attention to my actions. Progress will be met with rewards (foot massages here I come!!) Failures, well there is not failure in trying my best!
“Mortal as I am, I know that I am born for a day. But when I follow at my pleasure the serried multitude of the stars in their circular course, my feet no longer touch the earth.” ― Ptolemy