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(Written Dec 14, 2012)

I am such a cry baby today.
I am crying over everything!
I am crying for me, I am crying for the world!

I have been crying over not being called to volunteer this week. I wonder why…

I have been crying over my inability to let a day go by without having some thought related to Ex.

I have been crying for a friend over his pain over his mother’s sudden passing. We haven’t seen each other in years and just have an email relationship, but at this moment I wish I could just hold him tight and say that all will be okay.

I am crying over today’s senseless tragedy (Sandy Hook shooting) How can someone be so evil as to decide to take people’s lives? Not to mention children’s lives!

Why? Why is the biggest question. Could it be prevented? that is another often asked question.  I guess anything can be prevented.  Are we trying to find someone to blame, other than the shooter himself?  I think we are trying to make sense of something so senseless.   It is impossible to make sense of this senseless tragedy, so I am not even going to try.

Just now I hear from my friend/date AL  that his best friend, who is just barely 30 years old was rushed to the hospital with stomach pains.  After an emergency surgery he was told he has stomach and lung cancer and things don’t look.  He has 2 little boys, a 2 and 4 year old! What can I tell AL that will make him feel better about his friend’s situation.

I feel powerless and at a loss.  I don’t know the right words to use.   I want to tell all the victims, relatives, friends, all,  to be strong and positive!  But how dare I? There is no experience in my life that even comes close to losing a loved one.  I haven’t been in their shoes! It is very easy for me to be positive!

I offer what I can:  prayers and positives thoughts.  I dare and say, be positive!  I mention God and faith.   I offer to help, and I say I am here for them.

Just so much sadness just around Christmas time when our biggest worry should be what gift to buy to someone.

I am just wishing everyone a better tomorrow! I am just wishing everyone hope for a better tomorrow!

All happens for a reason, even tragedies and miseries – I have to believe that! What is the alternative? To believe in a Godless world?  No, not me! I am going to continue to say that life is beautiful and that God is merciful!

I am choosing to believe that everyone that lost their lives in this tragedies had accomplished their mission here.  Somebody may be gone from this world, their physical presence no longer here, but their memories, their spirits, will always shine inside and upon those fortunate enough to have known them.  I am picturing all the kids as happy smiling angels!

I just hope that we can all, at this moment, decide to care a little more about each other, about our neighbors, about strangers that we cross paths with every day. Let’s dare be intrusive and ask someone if they are okay when we sense something is wrong. Let’s not waste a single chance to offer our friendship, a kind word or just a smile.

Sometimes I think just a warm friendly smile at the right moment can prevent a tragedy. I am that naive! I smile at strangers in the train, on the street, anywhere and I normally get a smile back, sometimes a shy one, sometimes a big one, but a smile is a smile and I will take it any way I can get.

I think that Charles Chaplin said it best, here in the voice of Nat King Cole

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
you’ll get by.

If you smile through your pain and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through
For you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying.
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile-
If you just smile.